AfTER THE RAIN
"So what do you think we're dealing with here?" Willow asks Buffy as she, Anya, Dawn and Buffy sit at the table in the magic shop on yet another day of research.
"I don't know. He was green and he had horns. I didn't really see much of him before he took off" Buffy answered.
"So you guys were patroling last night and ran into a demon" Anya clarifies, pretty much directing her comment to the whole table.
"Yep" Willow replies to Anya not taking her eyes off the book she's flipping pages in in front of her.
"And this is a shock?" Anya questions, still not quite getting the delema.
"He was carrying some wand thing, we're looking this guy up anyways. Doesn't matter if he's a big threat or not, he's still a demon, doesn't hurt to know what kind" Buffy looks up from her book at Anya.
Buffy goes back to flipping pages in the book she's going through when the Magic Shop door opens and Xander walks in. Anya and Buffy turn around in thier seats and Willow and Dawn continute to research.
"Where's Spike?...isn't that why you left?, to go get Spike?" Anya asks him as he walks towards the table.
"Yeah, but there was a slight problem with that. The problem being he's not there"
"Did you check the Bronze?"
"I checked everywhere. As weird as it sounds, I think he left"
"What do you mean he left?" Buffy asks.
"Left as in left town"
"Why would you think that?"
"Because his place is empty. There's nothing in it"
"But he wouldn't just leave...without saying goodbye...would he?" Dawn asks
"Last Night" Buffy thinks "What if it was something to do with the way I left things last night?"
"I don't know. We can worry about him later, we have more important things to deal with right now. How's the research going?" Xander takes a seat between Anya and Dawn
"You know what? I think I'm gonna go for a walk" Buffy stands up and grabs her coat off the back of her chair
"now?" Dawn asks looking up at her big sister.
Lately Buffy had been acting weird. Ususally Dawn could tell when something was up, and usually Buffy would come to her and talk to her about it. It made her happy when they talked about stuff. Made her feel close to her sister. But Buffy'd been distant the last couple days and Dawn still awaited an explination.
"yeah. I'll only be gone a while. See if I can find Spike. I'll come back and pick you up in an hour ok?"
"uh huh" Dawn answered, trying to read Buffy's thoughts through her expressions. No success.
They all watched as Buffy walked across the shop and out the door into the growing blackness of the mid-evening. It was now 5:00. No one had eaten lunch or dinner. Instead they decided it was best to sit down and figure out who this demon guy was before he had the chance to do anything if he was an above average danger.
"okay what was that all about?" Xander asks as soon as Buffy has gone
"she's been like that all day" Willow replies getting a worried expression on her face.
Her talk with Buffy last night had been a revealing one, it had been a while since the two of them had time to sit down and talk. After the incident at the arcade they had sat down on a curb and discussed very little. Only on the way home was it that Buffy finally brought something up. She had told her about her feelings for Spike. Not only did Buffy tell her what they had done and what she felt, but she asked for Willow's oppinion. How was she supposed to tell her best friend what to do in a situation like this when she herself wasn't at 100%. Sure Buffy could handle her emotions, but Willow was sure she just felt this way about Spike because she felt lonely. Nevertheless, Buffy was a grown up now, able to make her own choices. So why did Willow worry the way she did?
Buffy had walked up to the beach where she suspected he might be, a place Xander would have never thought to look. She was right. There on a log down by the water Spike sat staring out into the night. She couldn't get over how beautiful the sight was, such a gorgeous night, and right in the middle of her view of it was the man that she knew deep down she loved. As much as she denied it, to herself, to her friends and to him she knew it was true. And now he was leaving? it made no sense. She couldn't understand why he would all of a sudden decide to leave and tell no one. And on top of it all he was still on the beach for some reason.
She walked up beside the log and looked off into the distant night hoping noticed she'd been present for a while before she did.
"You were gonna leave without saying goodbye?" a fairly quiet voice came out of her mouth, sounding with a touch of hurt, just enough to notice it.
"That was the plan" he answered, not taking his eyes off the view "it seemed easier"
"Do you have a reason for wanting to go?" she looked over in his direction now
"Can't stay here" his eyes still didn't move from the area in front of him
"Says who?"
"Me"
"Just because you don't think you can stay doesn't mean other people feel that way"
"Is that so?"
"I haven't heard anyone say they want you gone. Even if they did, which they don't, what would they matter anyways"
"I can't stay"
"If you won't agree to stay for me, at least stay for Dawn"
"Dawn could care less"
"That is not true!. God what is with you? all of a sudden you think no one cares about you!"
"because they don't" he finally looks over at her
"I care"
"You say you do now. Tomorrow It'll be a whole new bloody story"
"what are you trying to say?"
"I'm saying one minute you care and the next you don't. I put up with it because I love you, and I hope that maybe one day you'd realize you care about me too. You know what? It's not gonna happen. We both know it. So why the hell am I still here? The one person that I stay here for doesn't seem to care. No matter how bloody much I try to please you It doesn't seem to work. So I'm giving up"
"Spike can we just talk this---"
"Talking isn't gonna help. I tried that"
Spike looks back at the water.
Buffy looks at him a little longer, hoping he'd say something else. When she realizes he's not she sits on the log beside him and looks into the distance.
For a few minutes there is silence between them. The only sound heard is the waves out on the water. Buffy looks over at him and then back to the water.
"you were right" she says in the quiet toned voice again
"about what?"
"people leaving me. Everyone just keeps on going.My Dad, Angel, Riley, Mom, Giles....you. Everyone I love"
Spike looks over at her but says nothing
"in case you didn't notice that was a suttle way of saying I love you"
"I noticed"
"I just wondered. Since you didn't say anything"
"I love you too"
"I know" Another silence, this one only a matter of 10 seconds before Buffy speaks up again. "Are you....are you still gonna leave?"
"Not if you give me a reason not to"
"Spike I can't do this without you. You make me feel alive...I'd die without you. Please don't leave me"
Spike gives a faint smile and then kisses her
"I won't"
"Promise?"
"Promise"
"So what do you think we're dealing with here?" Willow asks Buffy as she, Anya, Dawn and Buffy sit at the table in the magic shop on yet another day of research.
"I don't know. He was green and he had horns. I didn't really see much of him before he took off" Buffy answered.
"So you guys were patroling last night and ran into a demon" Anya clarifies, pretty much directing her comment to the whole table.
"Yep" Willow replies to Anya not taking her eyes off the book she's flipping pages in in front of her.
"And this is a shock?" Anya questions, still not quite getting the delema.
"He was carrying some wand thing, we're looking this guy up anyways. Doesn't matter if he's a big threat or not, he's still a demon, doesn't hurt to know what kind" Buffy looks up from her book at Anya.
Buffy goes back to flipping pages in the book she's going through when the Magic Shop door opens and Xander walks in. Anya and Buffy turn around in thier seats and Willow and Dawn continute to research.
"Where's Spike?...isn't that why you left?, to go get Spike?" Anya asks him as he walks towards the table.
"Yeah, but there was a slight problem with that. The problem being he's not there"
"Did you check the Bronze?"
"I checked everywhere. As weird as it sounds, I think he left"
"What do you mean he left?" Buffy asks.
"Left as in left town"
"Why would you think that?"
"Because his place is empty. There's nothing in it"
"But he wouldn't just leave...without saying goodbye...would he?" Dawn asks
"Last Night" Buffy thinks "What if it was something to do with the way I left things last night?"
"I don't know. We can worry about him later, we have more important things to deal with right now. How's the research going?" Xander takes a seat between Anya and Dawn
"You know what? I think I'm gonna go for a walk" Buffy stands up and grabs her coat off the back of her chair
"now?" Dawn asks looking up at her big sister.
Lately Buffy had been acting weird. Ususally Dawn could tell when something was up, and usually Buffy would come to her and talk to her about it. It made her happy when they talked about stuff. Made her feel close to her sister. But Buffy'd been distant the last couple days and Dawn still awaited an explination.
"yeah. I'll only be gone a while. See if I can find Spike. I'll come back and pick you up in an hour ok?"
"uh huh" Dawn answered, trying to read Buffy's thoughts through her expressions. No success.
They all watched as Buffy walked across the shop and out the door into the growing blackness of the mid-evening. It was now 5:00. No one had eaten lunch or dinner. Instead they decided it was best to sit down and figure out who this demon guy was before he had the chance to do anything if he was an above average danger.
"okay what was that all about?" Xander asks as soon as Buffy has gone
"she's been like that all day" Willow replies getting a worried expression on her face.
Her talk with Buffy last night had been a revealing one, it had been a while since the two of them had time to sit down and talk. After the incident at the arcade they had sat down on a curb and discussed very little. Only on the way home was it that Buffy finally brought something up. She had told her about her feelings for Spike. Not only did Buffy tell her what they had done and what she felt, but she asked for Willow's oppinion. How was she supposed to tell her best friend what to do in a situation like this when she herself wasn't at 100%. Sure Buffy could handle her emotions, but Willow was sure she just felt this way about Spike because she felt lonely. Nevertheless, Buffy was a grown up now, able to make her own choices. So why did Willow worry the way she did?
Buffy had walked up to the beach where she suspected he might be, a place Xander would have never thought to look. She was right. There on a log down by the water Spike sat staring out into the night. She couldn't get over how beautiful the sight was, such a gorgeous night, and right in the middle of her view of it was the man that she knew deep down she loved. As much as she denied it, to herself, to her friends and to him she knew it was true. And now he was leaving? it made no sense. She couldn't understand why he would all of a sudden decide to leave and tell no one. And on top of it all he was still on the beach for some reason.
She walked up beside the log and looked off into the distant night hoping noticed she'd been present for a while before she did.
"You were gonna leave without saying goodbye?" a fairly quiet voice came out of her mouth, sounding with a touch of hurt, just enough to notice it.
"That was the plan" he answered, not taking his eyes off the view "it seemed easier"
"Do you have a reason for wanting to go?" she looked over in his direction now
"Can't stay here" his eyes still didn't move from the area in front of him
"Says who?"
"Me"
"Just because you don't think you can stay doesn't mean other people feel that way"
"Is that so?"
"I haven't heard anyone say they want you gone. Even if they did, which they don't, what would they matter anyways"
"I can't stay"
"If you won't agree to stay for me, at least stay for Dawn"
"Dawn could care less"
"That is not true!. God what is with you? all of a sudden you think no one cares about you!"
"because they don't" he finally looks over at her
"I care"
"You say you do now. Tomorrow It'll be a whole new bloody story"
"what are you trying to say?"
"I'm saying one minute you care and the next you don't. I put up with it because I love you, and I hope that maybe one day you'd realize you care about me too. You know what? It's not gonna happen. We both know it. So why the hell am I still here? The one person that I stay here for doesn't seem to care. No matter how bloody much I try to please you It doesn't seem to work. So I'm giving up"
"Spike can we just talk this---"
"Talking isn't gonna help. I tried that"
Spike looks back at the water.
Buffy looks at him a little longer, hoping he'd say something else. When she realizes he's not she sits on the log beside him and looks into the distance.
For a few minutes there is silence between them. The only sound heard is the waves out on the water. Buffy looks over at him and then back to the water.
"you were right" she says in the quiet toned voice again
"about what?"
"people leaving me. Everyone just keeps on going.My Dad, Angel, Riley, Mom, Giles....you. Everyone I love"
Spike looks over at her but says nothing
"in case you didn't notice that was a suttle way of saying I love you"
"I noticed"
"I just wondered. Since you didn't say anything"
"I love you too"
"I know" Another silence, this one only a matter of 10 seconds before Buffy speaks up again. "Are you....are you still gonna leave?"
"Not if you give me a reason not to"
"Spike I can't do this without you. You make me feel alive...I'd die without you. Please don't leave me"
Spike gives a faint smile and then kisses her
"I won't"
"Promise?"
"Promise"