Evangellion Thing I Wrote
By: Xai
Chapter 1.
Disclaimer: Don't own it. . .sad for me. Red and blue are my generic characters along with Sky Blue
***************************************************************************
Red: we lost!
Blue: lost what??
Red: _ not sure..........
Blue:........... like.......
Red: ... like a story line, a meaning, and (stares up at name designer) some totally non generic names
Blue: yeah, what the crap kinda names are 'red' and 'Blue'?
(Name designer drops Eva 1 on blue)
Red: what the heck kinda show is this without a second character?
Sky Blue: hi.
Red: who the crap are you? Some pointless reincarnation of blue?
SB: nope.
Red: look man, Sky Blue, what-the heck? this show needs something that doesn't suck, like a good reason for existence, and i can't stress the fact that generic names suck----------
(name designer drops Eva 2 on Red)
Sky Blue: you guys have to realize being a writer is like being a god in a story book.
(writer drops non-existent Eva 3 on SB)
Shinji: does any one but me think this is turning into a poorly written spoof on Evangelion?
Asuka: because it is.
Shinji: this sucks, am i actually going to have to talk aimlessly for eleven pages?
Asuka: hopefully this writer has good taste.
(writer looks away)
Shinji: where is rei?
Rei: ........... no coment.......
Asuka: Rei never did talk much.
Shinji: nope.
(shinji steals a car)
Shinji: up for a ride?
Asuka: you can't drive, your 14
Rei: true....
Shinji: watch me ( drives car into tree)
Asuka: you drove 3 feet..... into a tree
Rei: done watching.
Shinji: so 14-year-olds can't drive.
Asuka: that doesn't explain why we can pilot Eva's
Rei: if we couldn't this show wouldn't exist.
Shinji: still (steals another car)
Asuka: why do you keep stealing cars?
Shinji: i have a good feeling about this one. (drives car into other car)
Asuka: good feeling= floor it- into another car
Shinji: yes it does.
Rei: wow thats the worst thing i have ever heard.
Shinji: yes, i know, but its true.
Rei: um.......
Asuka: lets go some where.
Shinji: (steals another car) this time i'm used to flooring it.
Rei: you know, if you didn't floor it you could drive better.
Shinji: fine, fine...... stupid generic car.
(starts driving)
Asuka: street, sign, car, pedestrian, pedestrian clinging to sign- wow you really do suck!
Shinji: its ok, all of the people in this are generic, they can't die.
Rei: that doesn't mean you should hit them.
Shinji: you only think that
Asuka: are you trying to suck at driving.
Shinji looks away.
Rei: it seems shinji is.
Shinji: um.....
Asuka: give me the wheel!
Shinji:hey, i'm having fun here (drives car into building)
Asuka: fun?! you just drove our car into a building!
Rei: don't forget the strange ticking noise the engine is making.
Shinji: what noise ( car blows up) oh yeah that, oh well ( steals another car)
Asuka: you're not driving this time!
Shinji: you only think that!
Rei: true.
Asuka: oh great, now wonder girl is against me, this sucks.
Shinji: i cant let you into this car (looking sortof scared) look.
Asuka: awww, Shin-ji has fan-girls!
Rei: i don't think you can talk.
Asuka (blushing/angry) oh shut-up wonder girl.
Shinji: aw man, now i have to worry about non generic characters, crap i can't blow up this car.
Asuka: you actually like blowing up cars?!
Shinji: yup.
Asuka: hey wait did you just call rei and i genreic?!
Shinji: sorry i only understand Japanese.
Asuka (slaps SHinji) oh shut up and drive.
Shinji: you know rei hasn't had a speaking part in like eight lines.
Rei: now i have one.
Shinji; wow, that sucked, this writer is really running out of good ideas.
Asuka: next thing you know Eva 1 will come over here and ask you to buy beer.
Shinji: i already told him mto ask Misato!!
Rei: did she do it?
Shinji: Eva 1 is like 20 times her size, did she have a choice?
Asuka: that explains why Eva one hasn't been around.
Shinji: if you drank a bathtub of beer you wouldn't be around either.
Asuka: that is sickeningly true.
Rei: i take it that you had to buy a new bathtub.
Shinji: new bathtub, new wall.
Asuka: that really sucks.
Shinji: Do you know how much that beer cost?
Rei: 30,000?
Shinji: higher.
Asuka: 400,000?
Shinji: 100,000,000,000
Asuka: were did you get that cash?!
Shinji: E-bay.
Rei: not gonna coment.
Asuka: what did you sell?!
Shinji: um........ all of your stuff..............
Asuka: that explains the fact that i only have clothing now.
rei: um....
Asuka: wait, (loses calm) you sold every thing!!!! I'm going to kill you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shinji: I'm already dead.
Rei: no comment
Asuka: (beats up Shinji) You JERK!!!!!!
Shinji: ow, my head. well i also sold the toilet in the bathroom and some letter you got from Kaji.
Asuka: anger rising
Shinji: (sees life pass before eyes) only thing passing through mind: Asuka's gonna kill you
Rei: and the dead are dead.
Asuka: (shinji's existence has expired) i'm gonna kill the buyer.
shinji: um............... the buyer is dead.
Rei: what happened?
Shinji: i sold it to a dead guy.
Asuka: um okayy.
Rei: this conversation is starting to suck. Let's go to Nerv
Shinji: (steals another car) That old car sucked any way. Lets go.
Rei: shinji, i'm sorry but you really do suck at driving.
Asuka: not to mention you are in the wrong lane.
Random pedestrian: all right !!! Let's here it for driving in the wrong lane!!
Shinji: (drives over generic pedestrian) Opps....
Asuka: what the crap was that?
Shinji: fun.
Rei: he just keeps getting worse at driving.
Shinji: oh come on, its not like we're paying for these cars anyway.
Asuka: true.
(arrive at Nerv)
Shinji: must....pee.....
Asuka: Reai and i did not want to here that!
Shinji: (running to bathroom) to bad!!! (voice fades)
Asuka: where to?
Rei: lets find the kitchen.
( they are walking down the hall when Shinji comes running at them.)
Asuka: what are you doing?
Shinji: turn around.
Asuka: why?
Shinji: believe me.
Asuka: i smell smoke, shinji what did you do.
Shinji: set the kitchen on fire.
Asuka: how?
Shinji: i tried to cook hotdogs in the microwave.
Asuka: wow that's dumb.
Shinji; yup.
Rei: (sigh) no comment
By: Xai
Chapter 1.
Disclaimer: Don't own it. . .sad for me. Red and blue are my generic characters along with Sky Blue
***************************************************************************
Red: we lost!
Blue: lost what??
Red: _ not sure..........
Blue:........... like.......
Red: ... like a story line, a meaning, and (stares up at name designer) some totally non generic names
Blue: yeah, what the crap kinda names are 'red' and 'Blue'?
(Name designer drops Eva 1 on blue)
Red: what the heck kinda show is this without a second character?
Sky Blue: hi.
Red: who the crap are you? Some pointless reincarnation of blue?
SB: nope.
Red: look man, Sky Blue, what-the heck? this show needs something that doesn't suck, like a good reason for existence, and i can't stress the fact that generic names suck----------
(name designer drops Eva 2 on Red)
Sky Blue: you guys have to realize being a writer is like being a god in a story book.
(writer drops non-existent Eva 3 on SB)
Shinji: does any one but me think this is turning into a poorly written spoof on Evangelion?
Asuka: because it is.
Shinji: this sucks, am i actually going to have to talk aimlessly for eleven pages?
Asuka: hopefully this writer has good taste.
(writer looks away)
Shinji: where is rei?
Rei: ........... no coment.......
Asuka: Rei never did talk much.
Shinji: nope.
(shinji steals a car)
Shinji: up for a ride?
Asuka: you can't drive, your 14
Rei: true....
Shinji: watch me ( drives car into tree)
Asuka: you drove 3 feet..... into a tree
Rei: done watching.
Shinji: so 14-year-olds can't drive.
Asuka: that doesn't explain why we can pilot Eva's
Rei: if we couldn't this show wouldn't exist.
Shinji: still (steals another car)
Asuka: why do you keep stealing cars?
Shinji: i have a good feeling about this one. (drives car into other car)
Asuka: good feeling= floor it- into another car
Shinji: yes it does.
Rei: wow thats the worst thing i have ever heard.
Shinji: yes, i know, but its true.
Rei: um.......
Asuka: lets go some where.
Shinji: (steals another car) this time i'm used to flooring it.
Rei: you know, if you didn't floor it you could drive better.
Shinji: fine, fine...... stupid generic car.
(starts driving)
Asuka: street, sign, car, pedestrian, pedestrian clinging to sign- wow you really do suck!
Shinji: its ok, all of the people in this are generic, they can't die.
Rei: that doesn't mean you should hit them.
Shinji: you only think that
Asuka: are you trying to suck at driving.
Shinji looks away.
Rei: it seems shinji is.
Shinji: um.....
Asuka: give me the wheel!
Shinji:hey, i'm having fun here (drives car into building)
Asuka: fun?! you just drove our car into a building!
Rei: don't forget the strange ticking noise the engine is making.
Shinji: what noise ( car blows up) oh yeah that, oh well ( steals another car)
Asuka: you're not driving this time!
Shinji: you only think that!
Rei: true.
Asuka: oh great, now wonder girl is against me, this sucks.
Shinji: i cant let you into this car (looking sortof scared) look.
Asuka: awww, Shin-ji has fan-girls!
Rei: i don't think you can talk.
Asuka (blushing/angry) oh shut-up wonder girl.
Shinji: aw man, now i have to worry about non generic characters, crap i can't blow up this car.
Asuka: you actually like blowing up cars?!
Shinji: yup.
Asuka: hey wait did you just call rei and i genreic?!
Shinji: sorry i only understand Japanese.
Asuka (slaps SHinji) oh shut up and drive.
Shinji: you know rei hasn't had a speaking part in like eight lines.
Rei: now i have one.
Shinji; wow, that sucked, this writer is really running out of good ideas.
Asuka: next thing you know Eva 1 will come over here and ask you to buy beer.
Shinji: i already told him mto ask Misato!!
Rei: did she do it?
Shinji: Eva 1 is like 20 times her size, did she have a choice?
Asuka: that explains why Eva one hasn't been around.
Shinji: if you drank a bathtub of beer you wouldn't be around either.
Asuka: that is sickeningly true.
Rei: i take it that you had to buy a new bathtub.
Shinji: new bathtub, new wall.
Asuka: that really sucks.
Shinji: Do you know how much that beer cost?
Rei: 30,000?
Shinji: higher.
Asuka: 400,000?
Shinji: 100,000,000,000
Asuka: were did you get that cash?!
Shinji: E-bay.
Rei: not gonna coment.
Asuka: what did you sell?!
Shinji: um........ all of your stuff..............
Asuka: that explains the fact that i only have clothing now.
rei: um....
Asuka: wait, (loses calm) you sold every thing!!!! I'm going to kill you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shinji: I'm already dead.
Rei: no comment
Asuka: (beats up Shinji) You JERK!!!!!!
Shinji: ow, my head. well i also sold the toilet in the bathroom and some letter you got from Kaji.
Asuka: anger rising
Shinji: (sees life pass before eyes) only thing passing through mind: Asuka's gonna kill you
Rei: and the dead are dead.
Asuka: (shinji's existence has expired) i'm gonna kill the buyer.
shinji: um............... the buyer is dead.
Rei: what happened?
Shinji: i sold it to a dead guy.
Asuka: um okayy.
Rei: this conversation is starting to suck. Let's go to Nerv
Shinji: (steals another car) That old car sucked any way. Lets go.
Rei: shinji, i'm sorry but you really do suck at driving.
Asuka: not to mention you are in the wrong lane.
Random pedestrian: all right !!! Let's here it for driving in the wrong lane!!
Shinji: (drives over generic pedestrian) Opps....
Asuka: what the crap was that?
Shinji: fun.
Rei: he just keeps getting worse at driving.
Shinji: oh come on, its not like we're paying for these cars anyway.
Asuka: true.
(arrive at Nerv)
Shinji: must....pee.....
Asuka: Reai and i did not want to here that!
Shinji: (running to bathroom) to bad!!! (voice fades)
Asuka: where to?
Rei: lets find the kitchen.
( they are walking down the hall when Shinji comes running at them.)
Asuka: what are you doing?
Shinji: turn around.
Asuka: why?
Shinji: believe me.
Asuka: i smell smoke, shinji what did you do.
Shinji: set the kitchen on fire.
Asuka: how?
Shinji: i tried to cook hotdogs in the microwave.
Asuka: wow that's dumb.
Shinji; yup.
Rei: (sigh) no comment