Summary: We both represented the extreme ends of emotion that it was quite impossible for one of us not to get hurt

Pairing/s: Rei/Aya

Author's Note: I couldn't fall asleep, so I decided to kill some time by actually writing out the story that's been in my head for months.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters…

Selfish

Prologue

Breaking point

Contrary to her friends' belief, I was not totally unaware of the so-called "hurt" that I have continuously inflicted on Hoshino. I know that I've made her cry on more occasions than I could count on my fingers. Kotobuki, Yamazaki, and Yuuya (but it was mostly Kotobuki) often griped about how wrong it was that I made absolutely no effort to make Hoshino happy; how I seemed to refer to her passionate and undying love as nothing more than a crush.

They didn't voice it out-loud, but I knew what they were thinking. Inside their minds, they accused me of being heartless and being too insensitive. Without a doubt, they were right on both accounts.

I wouldn't be angry if any of them said it to my face. People complained about my insensitivity all the time. Even my parents couldn't bear the apathy that just seems to be hardwired in me. What I found surprising though was that, despite every grievance, Hoshino never once complained. She took them all as they came, and though she cried when it became too much she still stood by.

I'm not going to lie. Something about her persona ticked me off. She was too pure, too honest, too damn emotional. When she loved me, she gave it all the love her heart could give. When I failed to reciprocate, she completely broke down and cried. It was an endless cycle between the two of us, and I could only guess how long we could keep it up. Hoshino was tired of getting hurt, and I…

I was disappointed at her. She was not as exciting or as fun as Kotobuki nor was she anywhere near the ferocity that Kotobuki always exhibited, but she had certain qualities that stood out. What she lacked in strength, she made up for in her studies. Hoshino was truly one smart girl, and she had a certain gracefulness that none of her other friends possess. She was loyal, kind, and down-to-earth. She had so much personality when she was with her friends.

And yet, when she's around me her whole being just seems to dissipate. Around me, she turns into this graceless girl who struggles to string together coherent thoughts. It was a shame. I wanted to spend time with the Aya who could engage me into interesting discussions about topics that few girls of her age would know. Instead she, too, is reduced to awkward moments of silence.

In one occasion, I had actually mentioned this to my amused mother who then told me that "this girl has it bad." That absolutely did not help matters any. I've never experienced what it was like to be so engrossed with someone to the point that all my senses are just completely thrown out the window. I tried to imagine what it must be like for Aya to love someone who was uncertain if he loved her, too. I was pretty sure that it would sting pretty badly, but I just couldn't fathom feeling the same intense pain as she always seems to feel.

She loved too much.

I hardly gave back any.

We both represented the extreme ends of emotion that it was quite impossible for one of us not to get hurt….

So now the question is: how long will it be until she breaks?