A/N: Rawrz. I've been writing serious things for awhile, if you know my writing, you know what I'm talking about. So, I decided that I needed a humorous story, but this ended up being cliche...

Spinoff of Freaky Friday, the movie starring Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis. Switching bodies is actually a very popular and sometimes overused idea. Hopefully my story will be funny enough that you will forget that the idea is overused.

Note: If this story does not make you laugh at all, please do not sue me. If anything is confusing (believe me, writing this chapter was confusing for me too), PM me and I will enlighten you*.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cats. I do not own Freaky Friday. I do not own the Junkyard. I do not own Alonzo. I do not own a working PC anymore. I do not own an alarm clock (since I killed the last one). I do not own any humor**.

(Listening to: Gives You Hell by the All-American Rejects)***

* - Actual enlightenment will be severely limited.

** - Told to me by my friend.

*** - Both of which I do not own.

Chapter 1: In which Jemima hates Alonzo, Munkustrap is confused, Old Deuteronomy makes a magic spell, and Alonzo says silly catchphrases.

A regular day in the Junkyard consisted of: 1. Peace. 2. Silence. 3. Happiness. 4. Jellicles. 5. Slight moments of hectic cats.

Jemima, Victoria, Etcetera and Electra all sat around the T.S.E. 1 trunk in a circle while they talked about petty things in life.

"-and if he bought her an ice cream sundae I'll just die!" Etcetera howled sadly as Electra patted her paw comfortingly.

"Hiya queens", a predictably male voice spoke from somewhere.

The four kittens turned and saw a familiar, perhaps too familiar, black and white tom.

Victoria greeted him casually, "Alonzo."

"You want me to buy you an ice cream sundae, Etcetera?" Alonzo grinned and the said kitten blushed heavily.

"Let's go guys", Jemima whispered and tugger at Electra's tail.

Alonzo leapt right in front of the calico's way and teased, "What? You guys so eager to leave me?"

"You cause nothing but trouble", the calico said and pushed past him. Her three friends rolled their eyes since they were so used to the two Jellicles arguing.

The black and white tom wasn't shaken off so easily though and ran in front of her blocking her path again. Jemima's eyes narrowed and her mouth dropped into a frown as she insisted, "Let me through."

"I don't feel like it", Alonzo smirked.

"Get out of the way or else", she threatened, attempting to lace her voice with as much venom as possible, but the tom shrugged it off.

"Or else what?"

Jemima felt like screaming, but she had never screamed before in her life and was not about to start now. "Or else I'll move you out of the way!"

Alonzo smiled even wider. It was fun getting the petite calico all riled up and it showed a rougher side of her. He decided to go a little further by saying, "I don't think you could, even if you tried."

At that moment, Victoria cut in demurely, "Jemima, come back and sit with us."

"Yeah Jemima, go sit with your friends", Alonzo stuck his tongue out playfully.

Even as the calico was screaming inside her head, she obeyed Victoria and stomped back to the T.S.E. 1 car trunk. It didn't help matters that Alonzo sat with them and made random comments while they were talking.

"Tugger ran off with the needles that Jenny was using and she got so mad", Etcetera told them, "And then Tugger told her, 'I need them to comb my mane.'"

Everyone except Alonzo laughed at that.

"Eh, that's a horrible excuse", he muttered, since his dislike for Tugger was well-known, Etcetera didn't ask why.

"Then what would you have said?" Jemima glared at the nonchalant tom.

Alonzo looked at her in mock surprise and said, "Me?"

After a few seconds of glaring, he laughed and spoke, "I would've told Jenny that I needed the needles to to pin Jellylorum to a tree so that we could play hide and seek properly."

Now everyone but Jemima laughed.

The 6th thing that made it a regular day was: Jemima and Alonzo were still fighting.

Old Deuteronomy sat in his den waiting for his eldest son, Munkustrap, to report the going-ons of the Junkyard. When the Jellicle Protector finally arrived he gave his report. Old Deuteronomy arranged his carpet-like fur around him and briefly wondered if he could dye his fur to look more like an oriental rug. Only one thing in the long and boring report caught his attention.

"-destroyed a vase", Munkustrap ended.

"Wait, Rumplejerrie and Mungoteazer broke another vase?" Old Deuteronomy tried clarifying it.

"Uh, it's Rumpleteazer and Mungojerrie, Old Deuteronomy", the Jellicle Protector corrected.

The rug-like Jellicle waved him off, "Yes, yes. They broke another vase?"

"No, it was Alonzo and Jemima", Munkustrap said quietly.

The Jellicle Leader thought for a moment, "Alonzo and Jemima?"

"Yes, Alonzo, my second-in-command and Jemima, Demeter's sister", he answered.

"Oh them! Why did they destroy the vase?"

Munkustrap shifted his paws and said, "Well apparently, Alonzo got Jemima quite mad and she chucked a vase at his head, but either her aim was off, or Alonzo dodged it."

"Have the two of them been mates for a long time?"

The Jellicle Protector laughed at the thought and replied, "No, they're not mates at all."

"Seems like they are", Old Deuteronomy chuckled. "Well that was certainly interesting, Alonzo."

"Munkustrap", his son corrected.

"That's what I said, wasn't it?"

Munkustrap thought for a minute, "I guess."

"You can leave now", the Rug Jellicle dismissed his son.

Later

"So the names were Alonma and Jemizo", Old Deuteronomy spoke to himself. "Yes that's it."

He poured some icky green liquid into a huge stirring pot in the middle of his den. Then he took a large wooden cooking spoon and stirred it counter-clockwise. After waiting a minute or two he sprinkled purple powder inside.

"The past is near and the future passed, Alonma and Jemizo, two outclassed. Inner feelings always hidden, truth has always been forbidden. Open up and see the facts, maybe then we will all relax", Old Deuteronomy chanted while stirring the pot clockwise.

"Find your love for one another, queen and tom and not some other. Together until time ends, and always be the best of friends", he finished. Then he raised his arms as the potion bubbled dangerously. Suddenly the pot disappeared in a cloud of smoke and the Jellicle Leader whispered, "My offer has been taken away and now my spell will become true."

The next morning it seemed like another regular day at the Junkyard and all went well until one particular Jellicle woke up.

It's so bright. I don't recall opening the curtains last night, Jemima thought sleepily.

"Ugh", she groaned as she stood up and walked towards the bright, blinding light. Slowly she closed the curtains as she realized it wasn't her den.

Jemima looked around and spoke aloud, "This looks like Alonzo's den, why am I in here?"

There was a mirror on the side and as she walked passed it, she saw a flash of black and white. Quickly, she turned around and said, "Who's there?"

After she was sure it was absolutely silent, she turned towards the mirror again, wondering what was wrong with it. Well it belonged to Alonzo, that was one thing wrong already.

Suddenly a piercing scream could be heard throughout the Junkyard and all the crows flew away in fright. What was the cause? Jemima had looked into the mirror and her own reflection was Alonzo! Looking down at her paws and arms, she realized that she did indeed look exactly like Alonzo.

"Oh, Everlasting Cat!"

On the other side of the Junkyard, Alonzo was woken up by a horrendous scream and briefly wondered what it was. As he sat up and groaned he found himself in the Queen's Dens, where the queens slept. What was he doing there? He didn't remember following any queens last night.

"Hey Jemi", Etcetera's head popped through the doorway and spoke to him. Or at least it looked like it was directed towards him.

Alonzo rubbed his eyes and looked around trying to see where Jemima was. Maybe she had kidnapped him.

"Where's Jemima?" He asked Etcetera.

The excitable kitten laughed and said, "That's a funny one!"

"What's so funny?"

"Pretending to not know where you are", Etcetera laughed harder. "Oh you crack me up, Jemi. I'll be at breakfast, okay?"

Alonzo was terribly confused and ran to the nearest mirror to see if he had something like, "I am Jemima", written on his forehead. Instead, he was very much surprised to see Jemima staring back at him. He moved his right paw to the left and the "Mirror Jemima" did the same, but in the opposite direction. Alonzo jumped up and so did, "Mirror Jemima". He looked down at his paws and arms. They were the wrong color.

"Whoa, Holy Cheese and Rice."

Jemima (in Alonzo's body) ran towards the Queen's Dens in a hurry, wondering what had happened to her body. Just at that moment, Alonzo (in Jemima's body) ran out thinking the same thing. The two collided and fell to the ground. Almost immediately the two dragged each other to a more private clearing.

"Who are you and what have you done to my body?" Jemima demanded to herself....if that made sense.

The fake Jemima looked at her and said, "It's me, Alonzo. Uh...I think we may have switched bodies."

"Switched bodies?!"

"Well it's logical, I think. You're in my body and I'm in yours", the fake Jemima, or Alonzo, explained.

The real Jemima or, the fake Alonzo yelled, "Logical? How is this logical?!"

"Calm down", Alonzo said, which was starting to creep her out. It was Alonzo's voice coming from her mouth.

"Calm down?! Calm down!?!%!#~"

"Shhh!"

"How can I calm down!?" Jemima, or rather, Alonzo was screaming.

Alonzo, or rather, Jemima, covered her/his mouth.

"We can't let anyone find out, okay? So from now on, you're Alonzo and I'm Jemima", Alonzo spoke slowly.

Jemima shook her (his) head and said, "This is so messed up!"

"And Holy Tacos and Whipped Cream!"

"What? And tacos and whipped cream? What the?" Jemima gave Alonzo a weird look.

"The Jellicle Ball is in a week", Alonzo shouted. "I don't know your parts and you don't know mine!"

The calico's (well Alonzo's) eyes widened and she hissed, "You think we're gonna be stuck like this for that long?"

Simultaneously the two looked at each other and said, "We need to find out what happened and who caused this!"

...

"That was creepy", the fake Jemima (Alonzo) said.

A/N: I dee kay (idk) what happened to me. Hopefully some kind person will take pity on me and read this story and review. :D -wink, wink, hint, hint-

My new policy for humoristic stories (this will ensure that I update):

10 or more reviewers (doubt it) = Update tomorrow.

6 or more reviewers = Update in 2 days.

4 or more reviewers = Update in 3 days.

2 or more reviewers = Update in 4 days.

1 reviewer = Update in 5 days.

No reviewers = Update in 7 days.