Perfect Imperfections

Author's Note: So here is my second OUAT story, and it so happens to be Outlaw Queen. I just love the pairing of the two of them, and I was soooooo MAD at the writers and producers for the travesty of a season 3 finale! And in this story Emma will not be in the best light, because she annoys me and I don't know why everyone's so gaga about her and every mess-up is forgiven. This will be slowish burn OQ, but most definitely OQ, and my own take on Elsa. Hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 1

Regina rushed out of Granny's and paused at the entrance of the arch, the very place where Robin had kissed her sweetly and possessively just a few minutes earlier. She put a hand to her forehead and breathed deeply, sounding perilously close to a sob. She'd been oh, so happy just then, holding tight to Roland as they walked together, sharing kisses with Robin, and now…Now her entire world had been shattered in mere moments. She let out a harsh breath.

It was almost…poetic, she supposed. Every time happiness had come into her life, it had never ebbed or faded away. No, it had been ripped away without warning, leaving her raw and bloody, emotionally. Daniel's heart ripped out of his chest and crushed before her eyes, the promise of a sweet little boy named Owen, Henry pushing her away to bring back not just his biological mother but the Savior to destroy her curse…all of those losses had blindsided her, had left her reeling from the blow. And now Robin and Roland and the tender possibility of a life they might have built for themselves with Henry, torn away just as suddenly as every other time she'd thought she could be happy.

She heard the door open behind her, and closed her eyes. Not her, not now. She could hear Emma approaching and braced herself.

"Regina-"

"Now now, Swan." And not ever again, were the only thoughts Regina had.

"I'm sorry. When I brought Marian back I didn't know who she was. I didn't intend to cause you pain." Emma was truly apologetic for what she had done. And she was realizing an uncomfortable truth. She'd been working towards something with Regina that she'd never imagined: friendship. And she had the feeling that was all blown to bits.

"Well, your intentions really don't matter. Because once again, I felt the brunt of heroism. Always the villain." Regina's voice was sharp and angry, but underneath it was a world of pain. She let out a small huff. "Even when I'm not."

"Well, what was I supposed to do?" Emma was defensive, because she knew perfectly well that tampering with time and Fate were sure to come back and bite her in the ass. Even Hook had tried to warn her. And here was the first nip. The trust Regina had started to extend to her was very clearly being revoked.

"Well, you were dumb enough to travel through time. Maybe you should've left things well enough alone!"

Emma clenched her jaw, but her guilt kept her from saying something she would regret. Instead, she said, "I am not gonna apologize for saving someone's life."

Regina felt a headache beginning to throb across her skull. How dense could Emma be? Fate had a pattern, and if you messed with that pattern, it was not only yourself that was going to get well and truly screwed, but the people around you as well.

"She was going to die anyway. What did it matter?"

"It mattered where she was a person! And whatever she did, she didn't deserve to die." Even as she said it, Emma knew that was wrong. She'd really had no idea why Marian had been in the cell, only that she'd been helping Snow. She had no idea what that entailed, had not even stopped to think if by helping Snow, Marian had hurt someone or put them in danger. She'd just been so sure that Marian was innocent simply because she'd been a prisoner of Regina…

Regina confirmed the naiveté of that answer. "Well, maybe she did!"

"Well, you would know. I saved her from you!"

Regina was clearly taken aback, and clearly hurt by Emma's assumption that she was still that person. Emma had not said she saved Marian from Regina's past self, but from you, from the now. And to Regina's mind, that indicated that in spite of everything she'd done, all the work to be better, saving Emma's baby brother, for God's sake, she was still the Evil Queen in their minds.

She took a ragged breath.

"The woman who did that…that was the person I was, not the person I am. I worked very hard to build a future…a future that's now gone."

Emma felt her heart sink down to her shoes at Regina's tone. She'd not meant to imply that Regina was still her past self, but she'd lashed out in guilt, and the hit had scored. She tried to soothe Regina.

"You don't know that."

"Well, I know it's complicated enough that his dead wife is back!"

Emma's brow furrowed.

"Regina, for that I'm sorry. If there's anything I can do to help-"

"Miss Swan," Regina said, cutting Emma off and letting out a breathy laugh choked with tears, "the more you try to help, the worse my life becomes."

The sour feeling in Emma's stomach was all the confirmation she needed that the only person in this town that could be her friend was lost to her. She'd started a friendship with Mary Margaret, but now that she was Snow, and her mother, that whole thing had changed. Her year away in New York had eroded any friendship with Ruby Lucas, and in spite of helping them in the Enchanted Forest, she'd never gotten close to Aurora or Mulan, or Ashley for that matter, and Tinkerbell was close to Regina, not her. And the fairies? Not even a chance. She'd found it very hard to connect to people in this town, especially women, and the one person that she'd been becoming friends with, both because they loved Henry and had oddly similar temperaments, she'd irreparably hurt. And all because she, in the end, really couldn't leave well enough alone.

She tried to reach out to Regina, to reassure her, to say something, when the door opened again. She heard voices, Robin's clear among them, and saw Regina's eyes widen.

"Regina!" Robin called out, and the former Queen sucked in a pained breath as she saw him pulling Marian along with him out the door.

"Oh, God, I can't do this," she choked out. There was no way in hell she could stand around and make nice with Robin's…wife…when her heart was shattering. She whirled on one heeled boot and headed away from the diner. She heard Robin call her name again, and looked back to see that he had every intention of coming after her. Her eyes widened as tears crowded them, and in a swirl of pale purple smoke she was gone.

Emma sighed in defeat, one hand outstretched as Regina disappeared. Well, damn. This was going to make things more difficult. She turned as Robin slowed to a stop behind her, and noticed the disappointed look on his face. He let go of Marian and came up close to Emma.

"I need to go after her," he said in a low urgent voice. Emma wanted to roll her eyes. Was he that clueless? She grabbed his arm and pulled him closer still.

"Do you honestly think that Regina wants that? The man she was hoping to build a future with coming up to introduce her to his wife? Did you even see her face before you started to go after her? Robin, just…just let her be for now."

Robin swallowed and looked at Emma and to where Regina had disappeared. She was right, she was, he hadn't been thinking of what Regina was feeling. What a fool I am, he thought. He'd wanted to show Marian that Regina was different, changed…and it was more for him than for her. Showing Marian a changed Regina was so that he could feel better about his relationship with her. He closed his eyes in shame. When Marian had appeared, he'd basically tossed Regina aside and hadn't even given her a thought until he'd noticed Emma leaving, with Regina nowhere in sight. The relationship they'd been building, and his feelings for her, were nothing to be ashamed of. He opened his eyes, determination in them. He would find Regina and explain.

Emma saw the look in his eyes and let out a breath. Stubborn ass, she thought, but before either she or Robin could move, the door opened again, and out came Killian, followed by her mother and father, Snow cradling Emma's brand-new sibling. Their faces were concerned, and Snow looked around for a moment before her eyes found Emma.

"Where's Regina?" she asked. Her eyes flicked quickly to Marian standing quiet on the bottom step, confusion in her face but also a flash of anger at the mention of the former Queen. She sighed. The sight of Robin hugging this woman in the diner, hearing him call her Marian and realizing what that meant for both Robin, and especially Regina, made her concerned for Regina's state of mind, especially when she'd watched her rush out of the diner. She faced her daughter.

"Emma, where'd Regina go? I wanted her to meet Neal." She gently rocked the baby in her arms. She'd hoped to ask Regina if she would be a godmother to little Neal. She knew that Regina would be surprised at the request, but she'd talked about it with David at length, and despite his protests he'd reluctantly agreed that after Regina saving Neal, there was no one on Earth that they could trust more to protect and care for their son. She looked at back Emma, who just shook her head.

"We were…talking, and then when Robin came out, she…left." Emma studiously avoided looking at Robin or Marion as she answered.

Snow frowned at her daughter's hesitant response. Oh, this wasn't good. There was no sign of Regina, which meant she'd used magic to poof out of there, and if she was using magic for something as mundane as leaving the diner, then she was in a far worse state of mind than Snow had thought.

Emma sighed as Henry exited the diner next. Perfect-everyone was coming to the party. She met her mother's eyes.

"I should go after her. She was…upset…when she left."

"Whoa, love, no one should go after that one when she's in that state." Killian held out a hand, warning in his eyes as he added, "especially not you, after, well, her." His head tilted slightly in Marian's direction.

"This.,. is because of you?" Henry's voice was upset, and Emma looked over at her son to see him staring back at her with anger in his eyes. He took the last few steps down and stopped, looking around him. His gaze settled on Killian, but his words encompassed everyone.

"You all think she's going to do something, but she's not. You know that! She saved everyone, and you still think she's going to do something bad. Can't you see how much she's changed?"

"We know, Henry," Snow soothed. "We do. We're just worried about how she feels right now...and if we can help." Her clear, direct gaze told her grandson that she was sincere in her concern for Regina.

"What is wrong with all of you?"

Marian's voice, high with emotion and somewhat shrill, added to the tense atmosphere. "Why are you all so concerned about her? Don't you know who she is, what she's done? She's the Evil Queen!"

"No, she's not!"

Both Henry and Snow's voices rang out in perfect unison, and they looked at each other in surprise, before Snow continued in answering Marian.

"She hasn't been for a long time now. It took us a while to see it, but she has changed. She used Light Magic, and nothing that is evil can do that. And she saved my son from certain death…and saved yours from the same."

Marian took a step back in shock, her mouth open but nothing coming out. Henry took a step closer to Emma, and for a moment his angry face made him look like an entirely different person.

"I can't believe you did this," he said to Emma, his voice low and tight. "You had no idea what that person would have or should have done, but you decided to just drag her along with you. And now look what you did!"

He turned away from Emma, whose brow furrowed in surprise at his reaction towards her, and advanced on Robin. If anything, his expression was even fiercer than before.

"And you," he started, "you didn't even think about my mom! Someone appears out of the blue and you just ignored her like she wasn't even there! She was happy! She was happier than I've ever seen her, and you just ripped it away from her!"

At the word away, he stepped forward and shoved Robin, ignoring Emma's gasped "Henry!" as he turned away from the man. Robin, for his part, offered no resistance or reprimand, Henry's words unleashing another wave of guilt in the pit of his stomach.

Just then Roland pushed open the door and ran to Robin, who scooped him up in his arms.

"Papa," he began, "I waited like you said but it was a too long time!" He looked around him then, a frown settling on his small face. "Papa, where is my Gina? She said she was going to read me a story when we got home and tuck me in."

After Henry's outburst, Roland's innocent words made Robin feel as though something heavy had slammed into his chest, and he had to take a deep breath before answering his son.

"Regina isn't feeling too well right now, my boy, and she decided she needed to go home."

Roland stared at his father thoughtfully and then said, "Can you go and get her for me then?"

Robin swallowed hard. "I'm afraid I can't right now, Roland."

At that, the little boy wriggled in his arms, clearly wanting down, and once Robin put him on his feet, he made a beeline to Snow, to the surprise of everyone there. He tugged on her sweater, and Snow exchanged a glance with David before handing him their son and kneeling down to bring her to Roland's level. The child looked at her intently, his dark eyes and little face solemn.

"Princess, can you find her for me?"

Snow was a bit startled with his use of her title, before remembering that all of them, including Roland, had their memories back from their year in the Enchanted Forest, and for a year this little boy had known her as Princess Snow. She ran a hand over Roland's tumbled curls.

"What makes you think I can find her, Roland?"

The child cocked his head to the side.

"You're a princess. They can get whatever they want. And back in the other place I saw you being friends with Regina."

Snow smiled faintly at the child's idea that she could get whatever she wanted by virtue of being a princess; how very untrue that had turned out to be.

"Why do you want to find Regina? Surely your papa, or your…mother…can read to you and tuck you in."

Roland leaned in a little closer, but his high piping voice was still clear.

"Papa said she is hurting, maybe her tummy like me when I don't feel good, and when someone is hurt you have to help them feel better if you love them. And I love Regina and she loves me, so I have to help her."

She could hear Marian's gasp and a pained sound from Robin, but Snow ignored both and gently clasped Roland's small hand in hers.

"We will find her, Roland, but it may have to wait until morning, because I know it's past your bedtime and probably will soon be Regina's bedtime. But we will find her, I promise."

Roland nodded. "Thank you, Princess." He gave her a quick hug around her neck and ran back to his father. Everyone refrained from commenting that he ignored Marian, which was to be expected, after all; she was basically a stranger to him.

Henry frowned then. It had been a while since his mother had left the diner, and he desperately wanted to find her. He knew she had to be hurting, and he wanted to be away from the group and in her arms as soon as possible. He knew he'd messed up ever since finding Emma, ignoring his mother's attempts to be good as well as the ten long years that she'd loved him with all her heart and made his childhood wonderful. But now he was going to do his best to make it up to her, and the first thing he needed to do was find her.

"I'm going to go find my mom," he announced, "and I would like someone to help me. Not you," he interrupted as Emma opened her mouth, her posture deflating at his rejection, and then he turned his gaze on Robin. "And definitely not you. You've both done enough." He turned to regard the other two men, and settled on David.

"Grandpa? Could you help me find her, please? I've got a bad feeling."

David looked over at Snow, who nodded, and handed her back tiny Neal. Henry was right; he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach as well. He stepped down and placed a hand on Henry's shoulder.

"All right, Henry, we'll go find her." He turned to the rest of the group and tightened his jacket. "Everyone else, get home. And bundle up. It's freezing right now." He walked back to Snow swiftly and kissed her cheek. "I'll call you when we find her," he murmured, and Snow nodded.

He and Henry headed out of the diner's courtyard, eyes ahead, though David couldn't help noticing stricken looks on both Robin's and Emma's faces. They got in David's pickup and headed for the mansion.

"I hope she's there," Henry murmured softly as they drove. David looked at him curiously.

"Why wouldn't she be?"

Henry shook his head. "She's upset. She might head home, but if she spent time with Robin there…she might not want to go there. There's her office and the mausoleum. But let's check my house first anyway."

Upon reaching the home, Henry used his key and hurried inside.

"Mom!" he called out. There was no answer. He checked in the kitchen and study, and ran up the stairs. She wasn't in her room or his, nor the bathroom. In fact, the whole house had an empty feel to it. He joined David back in the kitchen.

"She's not here," he said. David nodded.

"Let's check her mausoleum first, and if she isn't there, then we'll head back to town and look in her office."

Regina was neither in the mausoleum nor her office, and the bad feeling in David's stomach was growing to be a huge hole. Where in the hell would Regina go? Not the forest, that was sure. The town line? He hesitated before pulling open the door to his truck, looking over at his grandson, who was now looking very troubled. Henry looked back at him and shook his head.

"If you're thinking the town line, Grandpa, I was thinking the same thing, but I don't think she went there. For one thing, she can cross the town line without a problem, remember? And she wouldn't want to forget me, not after I spent a year away from her. No, she's somewhere else." He bit his lip, concentrating, and then a look of horror spread across his face.

"Henry?" David saw his grandson turn to him, his eyes wide and frightened.

"Oh, God, Grandpa, I think I know where she went. The barn. We need to get to the barn right now."

He jumped in the truck, and David quickly followed. As they set off towards the barn where Zelena had tried to kill his son, David tried to make sense of Henry's guess.

"Why would she go there? Emma and Killian said the portal shut behind them."

Henry shook his head. "They're not experienced with magic. The portal may have shut, but it doesn't mean it's closed. Mom is Zelena's sister, and her magic may be similar enough, and strong enough, to reactivate it."

"But why would she want to go through?" David asked, and then his eyes widened. "Is she still trying to get rid of Snow?"

"No," Henry whispered. "I think she's forgiven her by now. No, Mom must feel like everything she does gets destroyed in the end, and anything she loves gets taken away." He looked at David with tears in his eyes. "Grandpa, I think she's going to try and go back and get rid of herself. That way she'll never be hurt, and she must think that we'll be better off without her."

David caught his breath. For an instant, he thought about a world without Regina, without the Evil Queen, and if he and Snow would have been happy and raised Emma peacefully in their kingdom, and not missed a moment of her life. And then he let his breath out harshly. For in truth, without Regina, there would not have been a Snow and Charming. No Cora scheming to get her daughter to marry a king, no dead Queen Ava, no dead King Leopold. Snow would have been raised a proper princess and engaged to a proper prince. She would never have been on the run, would never have met him in the woods, and they would never have fallen in love. He would have ridden quietly to Midas's kingdom, and without Snow's talk of True Love, would likely have married Abigail, and doomed the two of them to a miserable life where her True Love was eternally trapped and he never found his. There would still be enemies in the forms of Rumplestiltskin, George, and Maleficent. There would not have been the stealing of Maleficent's egg, and then the potential of two dragons close by. Zelena would still have come to wreak havoc and try to cast a Dark Curse, and who knows what that Curse would have entailed?

And there would have been no Emma, and no Neal. His heart clenched at the thought of life without his children. And without Emma, there would have been no Henry. He swallowed hard. If Henry was right, and Regina was heart-broken enough to think that life would be better without her, then everything, everything, would be gone, ripped apart as though it had never existed. They had to get to her before she could act.

As they drove up to the barn, David was startled to see patches of ice everywhere. It had been unusually cold in town, but not cold enough for this. He stopped the truck, and Henry hopped out before David had a chance to turn off the engine. He stepped out, and shivered. He could see his breath in the air. How could it be so much damned colder here than in town? He rubbed his arms. Henry had disappeared around the corner of the barn.

Suddenly Henry called out, "Mom!" and David broke into a run as a moment later Henry yelled, louder and shriller, "Grandpa, help!" He skidded around the corner and his eyes widened.

When Henry had jumped out of the truck, he had hurried around to the front of the barn, praying he wouldn't see the glow of an open portal. How could his mom think that it would be better without her? Once he'd gotten his memories back, he'd realized that nothing was better without her. Even though he'd thought, in that past year, that he'd lived his whole life with Emma, at the bottom of his heart he had felt uneasy, incomplete. Though his head hadn't known it, his heart was aware that a vital component was missing; it was aware that without Regina, his life wasn't whole.

And then he saw her. His mother was lying on the ground, a crumpled heap of black coat and tumbled dark hair, and she wasn't moving. He dropped to his knees and frantically felt for a pulse.

"Mom!"

He found it, but it was weak, and her skin was ice cold. He shrieked for David. Once the Prince had rounded the corner, he ran to them.

David caught his breath as he dropped to his knees. He felt for Regina's pulse, and like Henry, he could feel that it was weak and thready. She was unconscious, and the skin against his fingers was icy. Her lips were blue. He quickly picked her up in his arms, and her light weight startled him. He knew she wasn't physically a big person, but her personality made her seem so much more, and it really hadn't occurred to him that she would be so small, slimmer than Snow, and lighter. He hurried to the truck.

"Henry, get in. We have to get her to the hospital. She may have hypothermia, and we can't waste any more time." He helped Henry settle Regina, and then climbed in. As he pulled away, he handed his phone to his grandson.

"Henry, call your grandmother. Tell her we're bringing your mother to the hospital, and if she wants she can meet us there. Emma can watch Neal."

Snow had been pacing back and forth in the apartment for the past hour. Her phone was gripped tightly in her hand, and little Neal had been put in the bassinet the moment they got back. She grew more and more worried as the minutes passed. How long did it take to check the house, mausoleum, and office? Those were the places she thought Regina might go to, but what was taking so long? Emma was watching her pace with troubled eyes, but for the moment Snow could not spare time to talk to her daughter. She needed to know Regina was alright, and then she could think about what she could say to Emma.

The phone rang, startling everyone, including Killian, who nearly slid off the couch. Snow looked at the caller ID. David. She shakily swiped the phone and brought it to her ear.

"David?"

"No, Grandma, it's me," Henry said, and Snow felt her heart sink at the fear in her grandson's voice. "We found Mom, but something happened. She's so cold, Grandma, and we have to take her to the hospital. Grandpa said Emma could watch Neal if you want to meet us there."

Snow heard Henry refer to Emma by name and not mom, but she let it slide. That was not important right now.

"Henry, what happened?"

She could hear him swallow a sob. "We don't know. We got to the barn and found her on the ground, and her skin was ice cold and her lips were blue."

"The barn?" Snow said in confusion. Why would Regina be at the barn? Her eyes widened. Had she been trying to reactivate the portal?

"Yes," Henry said. "I think…I think maybe she was trying to go back and finish what Zelena wanted…to make sure she was never born."

Snow gasped. Dear God, had Regina really felt that there was nothing in this world that merited her presence? That no one would care if she erased herself from the timeline? That things would be better off without her?

"I'll meet you there," she said, and then added, in a gentle tone, "She'll be alright, Henry. Your Mom's strong."

She closed the phone and turned to see both Emma and Killian looking at her with confusion and apprehension.

"They found Regina, but they're taking her to the hospital," Snow said bluntly. She saw Emma flinch at her words. She sighed and stepped closer to cup her daughter's cheek. "Emma, I'm sure she'll be fine. She's strong."

She couldn't bring herself to say it wasn't Emma's fault, because really, it was. Though the portal had been Zelena's, it had been Emma's choice to bring Marian with her without asking her name or anything else about her. She sketched a smile for Emma and grabbed her coat.

"You two are OK to watch Neal until I call?" she asked. Emma and Killian nodded, and Snow ran down to the car. On the way to the hospital, she kept wondering exactly why Regina had been at the barn, and what had happened to her.

When she got to the hospital, she was directed to where her husband and grandson were waiting. When Henry saw her, he ran and buried his face in her shoulder. She held him tightly and looked at David. He shook his head.

"Whale's still working with her. We were right, she did have hypothermia. They're trying to warm her up."

Snow rubbed Henry's back, and after a few minutes Whale came out. He looked concerned.

"How is she?" The three of them spoke at the same time, and it was a strange chorus. Whale sighed.

"We're warming her up and putting in some fluids. She's responding nicely to the treatment, but she's still unconscious, and that does have me a little worried." He looked at David. "I don't understand. It's like she was outside in a blizzard for hours, but it hasn't been cold enough. And you found her in the open?"

David nodded. "But where we found her…there were patches of ice all over the place, and for some reason it was far colder than town." He frowned. "But even then I was OK in just my jacket."

Whale shook his head and looked at Henry. "Well, like I said, she's responding to treatment. I'll keep her overnight in case something changes, but I'm sure she'll be able to go home in the morning." He led them to a room, where Regina was lying in a bed, an IV steadily dripping and a warming blanket covering her. Henry quickly sat down and took his mother's free hand, and Snow felt David's arm come around her shoulders at her quick intake of breath. Regina looked so frail. Snow felt one thought running through her mind.

Dear God, Regina, what happened to you?