I have been happy, tho' in a dream.
I have been happy- and I love the theme:
Dreams! in their vivid colouring of life,
As in that fleeting, shadowy, misty strife
Of semblance with reality, which brings
To the delirious eye, more lovely things
Of Paradise and Love- and all our own!
Than young Hope in his sunniest hour hath known.
Dreams – Edgar Allen Poe
At nights or at days, whenever Sam sleeps, Lucifer slips away from his plans to rise the last two Horsemen or to destroy the Host or to find Michael's sword and hack it into tiny little pieces. He slips into Sam's dreams, silently and unnoticed. The sigils his little brother carved into Sam's ribs are impressive but Lucifer branded Sam the first time they touched in that motel room when he gave Sam comfort while wearing the face of Sam's dead girlfriend.
Sam belongs to him, but Lucifer can't bring himself to act upon his next move on Sam. Instead his watches Sam sleep and wanders through his dreams while soothing the worst ones. Sometimes he takes a more active role in the dreams that make Sam writhe and moan with pleasure that is alien to Lucifer but that he experiences now in Sam's dreams and finds that he likes it.
Afterwards he always buries these dreams deep into Sam's subconsciousness.
It's his own, private secret that no one needs to know about.
The next time Lucifer visits Sam's dreams there is something different happening. The room around them is brightly coloured and Sam is not alone.
Sam cannot even see him because Sam has his eyes closed as he is kissed by Gabriel.
Even millennia after they had parted Lucifer recognizes his brother instantly.
It's Gabriel who kisses along Sam's throat.
It's Gabriel who pushes Sam onto the bed.
It's Gabriel who tears at Sam's clothes until they give away his skin.
Lucifer can't move. The scene in front of him is familiar but yet foreign. Gabriel isn't gentle or soothing with Sam. He pushes and tears and takes and Sam seems to like it, seems to appreciate the force Gabriel uses on him. He moans and trashes and demands more, which Gabriel is only too willing to give, Lucifer can see that.
He still can't move.
Gabriel taking Sam with such unashamed force tears Lucifer up inside. If he had known this...if Sam had told him...but of course he couldn't have because Lucifer had always made sure that Sam wouldn't remember these dreams. He hadn't wanted to spook Sam and therefore had been gentle and careful and loving with him, all the things that Gabriel isn't and yet Sam prefers this carnal act.
It hurts even though Lucifer doesn't know why. It's not about Gabriel using his vessel this way, Gabriel could never take his vessel, no this is about Gabriel using Sam like this.
Lucifer shies away when Gabriel's knowing eyes meet his over Sam's writhing, moaning body and he mouths a 'too late' at Lucifer.
Lucifer feels the urge to run from this dream but he doesn't. He wants to see how it ends, wants to see if Gabriel erases this dream from Sam's consciousness, too.
Gabriel jacks Sam's cock while he pushes harder and deeper into him. When Sam comes it's not with the soft, broken moan that Lucifer knows but with a loud, keening sound that makes Gabriel grin smugly and satisfied.
Gabriel unabashedly uses Sam's body for his own pleasure even as he goes limp under him and after he comes he pulls out unceremoniously where Lucifer eased out of Sam carefully while distracting him with kisses.
Gabriel kisses Sam, too but it's hard and demanding but Sam gives as good as he takes. He's broken, Lucifer knew that, but he's also strong and he's beautiful in his strength, Lucifer sees that now.
Finally they flop down on the bed next to each other, spent and satisfied but Lucifer hears Gabriel's voice clear in his mind:
'Go. He won't dream of you anymore. I'm here now.'
And Lucifer concedes because it has been Sam's choice, too, not only Gabriel's.
Leaving Sam hurts nearly as much as leaving Heaven even if Lucifer can't explain why.