Disclaimer: I do not own the Office. It belongs to the bigwigs at NBC, so… yeah.
Summary: What was that song really about? A two-shot story about a one-night stand that they both will never forget. What I lack in sex scenes, I make up in hilarity… and a tad bit of angst. Jan x Hunter.
A/N: This is just a funny and somewhat sad story in light of the newest episode of the Office, which was an instant classic. I also would like to say thank you to ktface3 for betaing this for me. You are just completely awesome. Love!! I hope you enjoy it and as always, please review!
Warning: The following events should not be judge on any personal experiences of my own. I am in no way, shape or form related to anything that occurred in this story. The actions that occurred are solely imagined. Simply, I am no freak!
May 3, 2007
8:54 pm
Jan walked into the quiet office, listening to the hum of the fluorescent lights, scattered across the lobby. She glanced at the empty reception desk while flashes of Pam's glances to her as she left the Scranton branch in a rush placed through her mind. She pulled out her keys, figuring she could get a few hours in since she was so preoccupied about her 'love life' to actually do work earlier. She chuckled to herself, realizing that even that aspect of her life was blown to the wind.
As she approached her office, she noticed her assistant's desk lamp was still on. She shrugged it off and headed into her office. As she settled in, she saw a pair of tickets that Michael had bought for them, "Stomp!" She shook her head as she ripped them, throwing them away, like Michael threw away their relationship. She breathed sharply, looking down at the trash bin and wiped away a stray tear that had fallen. She couldn't understand where she went wrong. She thought that she and Michael had a solid relationship. They had an active sexual life and she was in the best shape of her life. She went to the gym religiously to keep her body in shape for him, making sure that she looked her best for him. She spoke to her therapist about making herself better, making her life better and how it was with Michael in her life. She knew that Michael wasn't the most conventional boyfriend, but deep down, she knew that he was the one for her. She had to find a way to get him back… but how?
When this riveting idea floated to the surface, Jan saw the lights on the ceiling flicker, followed by a thud across the room. Jan turned toward the sound and saw Hunter at his desk. Jan smiled, "Hey."
Hunter waved slightly, "Hey." He looked around the office, "I… uh… I thought you were going to Scranton?"
Jan nodded, "Yeah… well. I did."
Hunter walked a little toward her, "I picked up that vodka like you wanted." He turned around to his desk and pulled out a bottle of Grey Goose from his drawer. He walked over to her desk, passing her the bottle, "Wanna talk about it?"
Jan shook her head, "No. Thanks for the… you know."
Hunter nodded, "Sure thing, Jan." He turned around and headed toward his desk when he heard the cap on the bottle unscrew.
Jan opened up her desk drawer and pulled out a couple of plastic cups, "Wanna join me?"
Hunter chuckled, "Drinking in the office? Um… I don't know, Jan…"
Jan scoffed, "Lighten up a bit, Hunter. What's life without a little…" She threw the cap behind her, landing somewhere in the abyss, "…adventure." She poured some vodka in both glasses and handed one to him. "C'mon, I'm gonna drink this regardless. Might as well not drink alone."
Hunter took the glass reluctantly, "Okay… thanks." He took a sip, coughing slightly, "Hmmm… good."
Jan nodded, "Oh yeah." She reached over her desk and poured some more, "C'mon, drink up!" She proceeded to guzzle her cup entirely. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, "Want some more?"
Hunter looked down at his still full glass, "I'm good."
Jan nodded, putting the bottle in the middle of her desk, "Well… there you are if you want more." She leaned back in her desk chair and put her feet up. She chuckled, "C'mon, Hunter. Relax a bit. It's after-hours. David's not lurking around, okay? You're safe." She smiled at him, feeling a small part of her deep down believing in the words she said.
Hunter nodded, "Okay…" He took another swig of liquor, causing him to cough a bit more.
Jan nodded, "There you go. That means it's good." She chuckled as she continued to pour more liquor in her cup.
Hunter looked nervous, "Um… Jan? Are you sure you don't wanna talk about it?"
Jan shrugged as she polished of her third glass, "Michael dumped me."
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9:42 pm
The bottle of Grey Goose was long gone. Hunter and Jan were sitting on the floor in front of her desk, leaning against it. Jan had dug up a few bottles of booze at the bottom of her desk drawer she had left after her trip to Sandals with Michael last winter.
Jan chuckled, "I can't believe I let him do this to me. I should be out there living my life… and yet I'm here…" She chuckled some more, "Getting drunk… with you!" She laughed even louder.
Hunter shrugged, "Well, I had plans tonight too, you know." He leaned his head back, closing his eyes.
Jan straightened up, "What were they?"
Hunter took a swig of one of the small bottles, coughing, "Band practice."
Jan chuckled, "Band practice? I didn't know you played." She smiled over her glass, giving him a quizzical look.
Hunter shrugged, "I'm actually lead vocals." He smirked a bit, trying to hide his nervousness.
Jan laughed out loud, "Even better." She grabbed another bottle from the pile, "So… what's the name of your band."
Hunter shook his head, "It's lame."
Jan giggled, "You have to tell me now." She nudged him in the rib, "C'mon, tell me."
Hunter caved, "Fine… 'The Hunted." He rolled his eyes, "Shut up."
Jan chuckled, "Don't tell me to shut up." They both laughed until a comfortable silence fell between them.
He knocked back the remainder of the bottle and tossed it across the room, causing it to break against the rim of the trash bin, causing Jan to laugh hysterically. Hunter jumped up, "Ohmigod, I'm so sorry." He ran over to the trash bin, picking up the shards of glass, "Let me clean this up."
Jan waved her hand, "Don't bother." She laughed, "Leave it there. You're gonna cut yourself." She watched as Hunter continued to pick up the bits of glass, deposing them into the nearby trash can. Jan shook his head, slurring her words, "Fine, go cut yourself. No one ever listens to me anyhow." She stood up, wobbling a tad as she walked toward her closet and pulled out a broom and dustpan. She pushed Hunter away, "I've got it. Let me take care of it. I take care of everything else around here."
Hunter stopped momentarily, watching her sweep up the mess he made. He shook his head, "I'm really sorry, Jan."
Jan scoffed, "There's worst things people can do than break a bottle in my office. It's not that big of a deal." She finished cleaning up the mess and went back to her place near her desk. She motioned for Hunter to join her. "C'mon, you can make it up to me by joining me for another round."
Hunter shook his head, "I think you've had enough."
Jan nodded, "You're right." She continued to nod, looking down at her glass and throwing in behind her, falling somewhere near the lost bottle cap. She chuckled, "You are so fucking right. I have had enough. I have had enough crap go wrong in my life in the last two years than anyone should endure." She stood, leaning on her desk for support, "I've gotten divorced, like my mother always said I would." She laughed sarcastically, "Do you know that she pegged how long we'd be married, to the very week." She laughed loudly, "My mother, a riot, right?"
Hunter looked nervous, "Maybe you should sit down, Jan. You're not looking well."
Jan howled a laughed, "I'm not well, Hunter. I'm not good. I'm not okay, okay? My life… is so screwed up!"
Hunter shook his head, "No it's not."
Jan scoffed, "What do you know about my life, Hunter? Really? Do you have any idea what I have to go through day after day after day?"
Hunter shook his head, "No."
Jan shouted, "Exactly!" She began to cackle, causing the room to vibrate.
Hunter back away slightly, "You're scaring me a little, Jan."
Jan turned toward Hunter, seeing the terrified look in his eyes, reminding her of Michael's when she wanted to try something new. She sat down in her desk chair and began to cry. "I'm so sorry." She sobbed at her desk.
Hunter came toward her and sat on the edge of her desk, "It's okay."
Jan shook her head, "No, it's not okay. I shouldn't be burdening you with my problems. It's not fair to you."
Hunter shrugged, "I like that you feel like you can confide in me." He turned to face her, feeling small butterflies float in his stomach, looking at her in the dim light of the office, watching her eyes flutter from her intoxication. He softly whispered, "He's an idiot, you know."
Jan raised her head, "Who?"
Hunter chuckled, "Michael."
Jan shrugged, "You think so?" She shook her head, "I feel more like the idiot." She chuckled, "And the saddest thing of all is that I thought my life was somehow better that I found him, you know?" She smiled slightly, "He made me feel better about myself, like I actually felt loved." She wiped away the tears on her cheek, dapping the mascara that ran down the corners of her eyes.
Hunter chuckled, "You shouldn't feel that way."
Jan looked confused, "Feel like what?"
Hunter stammered, "You shouldn't feel stupid." He chuckled, "If anything, you should feel relieved. He was an idiot and the luckiest man in the world…"
Jan looked up at Hunter from her chair, seeing the light from her lamp grasping on the strands of his hair, scattered across his face. She smirked, "Why was he lucky?"
Hunter scoffed, "He had you." He smiled slightly and then realized what he uttered. He quickly moved from her desk and headed for the door when he felt something holding him back. He turned around and saw Jan grasping his hand. He looked into her eyes, "What are you doing?"
Jan shrugged, smiling slightly, "Did you mean what you said?" She searched in his eyes, trying to find the truth.
Hunter looked into her eyes pleadingly, "Jan –
Jan shouted, "Yes or No."
Hunter breathed deeply, trying not to make eye contact with her. He finally looked at her again, smiling slightly, "Yeah."
Jan stiffened slightly, unsure of what was happening. She looked at her assistant. He was much leaner and lankier than Michael, yet he held that same spirit of innocence that Michael possessed that she was always so entranced by. He seemed untainted by the world, still learning and discovering the world for what it was. She reflected on the last few hours, and shook her head at what she was about to do. She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.
Hunter looked down at her as she moved toward him, feeling a slight rush of serenity pass though him. He closed his eyes, wanting to hold her, tell her that she was everything a man could ever want in a woman. Tell her he would write songs for her and serenade her to sleep every night. That they could have crazy, wild sex on every surface of his apartment and love each other always, but he felt a slight breeze as he realized Jan wasn't near anymore. He inwardly panicked when he opened his eyes, finding her leaning on her desk again, holding herself as she rocked back and forth.
Jan shook her head, wondering how on earth she had kissed her assistant. First, she starts dating one of her regional managers and now she's hitting on this kid who was younger than some of her T-shirts. What had she done to make everything go so wrong so fast? She felt someone sit next to her, dreading to open her eyes and admit that she was in her office on a Friday night with her assistant, completely wasted out of her mind and had a headache that wouldn't quit. She covered her face, trying to wake up, but she gave up. She turned to her left and saw Hunter, looking at the floor, lost in his own thoughts and for a fleeting moment, she didn't miss Michael. She didn't miss his hand or his body, she didn't miss his child-like eyes, she didn't miss him. Instantly, she found Hunter's hand in the darkened room and gave it a squeeze.
Hunter felt the soft skin of his boss, feeling her veins across the surface, touching her pulse on her waist and finding that it was pulsating as quickly as his. Her felt her come closer and softly kiss him on the lips. Suddenly, Hunter wanted more and deepened the kiss, longing to be inside her.
Jan delivered and continued to kiss him as longing as he. She searched in his kiss the human contact that she so desperately longed for. She closed her eyes and pulled him closer, finding his arms around her waist. She felt his kisses quicken, finding them on her cheek, her eyelids, her temple. Suddenly, she felt some animal instinct raise within her. She proceeded to throw Hunter against a nearby file cabinet.
Hunter moaned in pain, but was strangely aroused by the force that Jan was capable of. He lifted her up, pushing her back onto her desk. He knocked off some of her belongings off her desk, "Sorry."
Jan groaned, "Leave it." She proceeded to kiss him again and licked his face. She leaned back on her desk and moved her monitor and desk lamp to her chair, giving them plenty of room. She sat up, looking at Hunter and smiled. "I've always wanted to do this."
Hunter smiled, "Really?"
Jan nodded, "Yeah. Isn't is hot?"
Hunter nodded, kissing her at her collarbone, "Way hot." He continued to slip his hand underneath her blouse, softly stroking her hipbone. "You are so hot."
Jan blushed, "Really?" She scanned his face for a hint of a lie and couldn't find one. "You think I'm hot."
Hunter nodded, "Hell yeah." He kissed her feverishly again, raising his hands up her sides.
Jan unbuttoned her blouse, revealing herself to him, smiling devilishly, "Tell me I'm beautiful."
Hunter whispered, "You're so beautiful." He kissed her on her collarbone, working his way down her chest. He repeated, "You're so beautiful, Jan."
Jan blushed as she was ravished by this younger man. She loved his energy and him being so willing to please her. She felt beautiful and young again, but the feeling of guilt rose within the pit of her stomach, causing her to flinch.
Hunter felt her hesitation, "Something wrong?"
Jan looked at his piercing green eyes and shook her head, "You have a condom?"
Hunter looked like a deer as if he had just run into traffic, "Um… I think I do."
Jan rolled her eyes, "Are you kidding me?" She pushed him back and crossed her arms. "You don't have one condom?"
Hunter shrugged, "I don't really carry them to work."
Jan looked at him and realized that they were in fact still in her office, both of the shirts unbuttoned. She looked at him confused, "Don't guys always carry those things around all the time?"
Hunter shrugged, "I don't know." He blushed slightly as he realized that the heat of the moment was over. He began to button up his shirt when he felt Jan's hand on his shoulder, "Yeah?"
Jan smiled, "What are you doing?"
Hunter shrugged, "I don't have a condom, so… yeah." He turned around when he felt Jan turn him back towards her. "Jan, I –
Jan put her finger over his mouth, "Shh. It's okay." She took his hand and stroked it against her face, "Is there something you're not telling me?"
Hunter shook his head, "No… nothing like that. I'm fine. Really. I'm good, I swear."
Jan nodded, "Okay." She walked back to her desk, buttoning up her blouse. She shook her head at the mess that they had made. "Look what we did." She chuckled and sat back down in the front of her desk on the floor. She chuckled some more until it became unstoppable. She was holding her stomach from her laughter.
Hunter watched her laugh, mesmerized by the glow that she held around her. She seemed so full of life at that moment and it was contagious. He walked over to her and sat beside her on the floor. Jan softly stopped laughing and another comfortable silence fell on them both.
Jan shook her head, "I can't believe it's 10:30 already. I guess Gil will be showing up here soon."
Hunter shook his head, "Gil cleaned the office already around 7:30."
Jan turned toward Hunter, "Why were you here anyway? You should have been gone hours ago."
Hunter shrugged, smiling, "I was doing some… writing on the roof." He blushed slightly at his secret.
Jan chuckled, "You go up there too?"
Hunter looked confused, "You go up there?"
Jan nodded, "Well, sure. Where else am I gonna smoke?" She chuckled some more. "I didn't know anyone else went up there."
Hunter shrugged, "Well… I like it because I feel… I don't know…"
Jan smirked, "Free?"
Hunter nodded, "Yeah. That's exactly how it feels. I feel like I can go up there, amongst the city and the people without being with the people. I just feel like I'm…I don't know… closer to God."
Jan nodded, "Exactly. It's so spiritual, you know? I can feel the breeze and smell the air and know I'm safe."
Hunter chuckled, "You are so right." He chuckled again, having Jan join in. They both laughed some more when Jan fell into his lap and laid there.
She turned to face him, "I didn't know you were so deep."
Hunter chuckled, "I am an artist."
Jan nodded, "I stand corrected." They both chuckled at themselves. Jan took his hand again and traced the lines in his palm. "Hunter?"
Hunter mumbled, "Hmm?"
"I'm so sorry about freaking out earlier… And a few minutes ago." They both chuckled as Jan continued to play with his hand.
Hunter watched her and took his other hand and gently stroked her cheek, "There is something that I have to tell you."
Jan sat up, "What? What's wrong?"
Hunter looked at her reluctantly, "Promise not to laugh."
Jan gave him a boy's scout salute, "Scout's honor."
Hunter chuckled, "Okay…. Well… the reason why I don't carry condoms –
Jan stopped him, "It's okay, Hunter. No big deal."
Hunter shook his head, "No. It is a big deal. I don't carry around condoms because… I'm a virgin."
Jan looked momentarily stunned, "You're a… a virgin?"
Hunter nodded, "Sorry."
Jan chuckled, "Good Lord, why are you sorry? That's a good thing you're a virgin. You should be proud." She chuckled, "God, if I were a virgin at your age, I might have not married my first husband." She shrugged, "But you shouldn't be ashamed. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin."
Hunter shook his head, "But I'm twenty-three. I should have gotten laid plenty of times before now. You must think I'm some kind of weird freak, right?"
Jan shook her head, "No. I don't think that way at all."
Hunter looked at her again, "Really?"
Jan nodded, "Yeah. Truth be told, I can't believe that you were willing to do it with me and lose it."
Hunter shrugged. He looked down at their hands interlocked, "I would do anything for you."
Jan looked at him and pulled his chin up so their eyes met, "You are so sweet." Hunter shook his head and smiled. Jan looked at him again and kissed him on the lips, more feverishly than before.
Hunter climbed on top of her and continued to kiss her, stopping for one fleeting moment, "What about –
Jan nodded, "Hand me my purse. I think I might have one in there." Hunter handed it to her and she looked inside until she found the Trojan. "Thank God."
Hunter snatched it and proceeded to rip it with his teeth. He finally looked up at Jan and grabbed her, "C'mere."
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11:32 pm
Hunter and Jan were lying on their backs, passing a cigarette between them, taking puffs every few minutes. Jan had herself covered with her blazer as Hunter lay there shirtless.
Jan took a final puff, "You know that this never happened, right?"
Hunter smirked, "What never happened?"
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In the next chapter, you'll see the aftermath. Hope you found it funny or at least pathos. Let me know!!