I was stood in front of the bar of the clubhouse, feeling like buckling under the collective glare of the majority of Samcro.

"I want in." I said, exuding as much confidence as I could.

Jax's jaw twitched, his teeth clenched, and he turned his head quickly to look away from me. Clay stood there, his moustache moving with the continued tightening and release of his lips as he thought. I couldn't help but look him straight in the eye, praying that he understood my motives and would take some kind of pity on me. He would know that this was not my first option, but more of a last resort. He knew my kid brothers were sat in my backseat outside, with empty bellies and no roof over their heads.

"No." Jax growled as he straightened, his fist pounding on the worn wood of the bar in front of him.

Indignant, I threw my head back, my hair flipping around over my shoulder as I met his gaze. "Why not?" Inwardly, I was feeling anything but calm, but I knew from past experience, and growing up around these men, that anger was not the way to succeed in anything that I wanted.

"You're a child." He retorted, his face screwed up in near-disgust. "Why on earth do you think we would even consider-"

"I'm not a child," I butted in. "A child doesn't have debts, or unpaid bills. A child doesn't have to bury their parent. A child doesn't have three hungry kids riding in their backseat, with nowhere to go. A child wouldn't have to ask this of you."

Taking a deep breath in an attempt to steady himself, Jax took a step around the bar towards me. "No."

"So, what. You're going to stand there and watch as my brothers - three innocent kids - not only lose their father, but their home? Everything they've ever known, because I can't provide for them?"

Clay threw a hand out to break Jax's stride before he could advance any further. A moment of silent communication flowed between the two men and authority was pronounced. Jax stepped back a way, lowering his furious glare to the floor and thrusting his hands deep into his pockets.

Clay looked up, indecision clear in his eyes. "You are a child, Arya. I know a lot of weight has been put on your shoulders, but you know why we have to say no."

Fire rose up in my stomach. "Yeah," I snarked. "It's because I'm a girl." When no one moved to correct me, I snorted. "I can fight. You know I can. I'm as good as anyone here." I looked to Jax. "And you know it." He looked up at me, recognition of this fact attempting to surface behind his blind determination. "My dad taught me to ride before I could walk. He didn't care that I wasn't a son."

"This isn't the life your parents would have wanted you to have." Clay reasoned.

"Fuck what they wanted." I bit back. "They went and fucking left us, okay? This is about survival. I think they may have wanted the four of us to survive."

Clay sighed in vague exasperation as Opie came up to me and took my arm. "Just think about what you're asking us to sign you up for," he said.

"You think this was my first choice?" I asked, looking up into his eyes. Surely he would understand out of anybody. "I've been everywhere. No one will take me, or help me, because of my affiliation with you." I shook myself out of his grasp and turned back to Clay. "My dad died for you. He believed that this was worth dying for, worth leaving his kids for. All I'm asking for is the same right, to follow through on his beliefs."

Clay shifted his weight on his feet, glancing over at Jax for a split second, watching as his son shook his head minutely. He sighed heavily, turning back to face the rest of us. "Jax and I are in agreement. Do we have to cast a vote?"

There was a murmur amongst the other members and I watched as Tig and Juice shook their heads, followed by the others.

"Well," Clay concluded, "that's your answer, Arya. If there's anything else we can help you with."

"Fuck you." I spat. "Fuck you all. I was raised to think of you as family. It's good to know where you all draw the line." I turned on my heel, and stalked out of the clubhouse towards my car.

As the door closed behind me, I swiped my forearm hastily under my eyes, determined not to let them see me break. My breathing was ragged as I marched towards the beat-up '76 Eldorado parked out front, its hood down, with my three brothers crammed together in the backseat.

I was suddenly aware of footsteps quickly gaining on me, and as I felt a hand touch my shoulder, I whipped around to come face to face with Jax. He was livid. Nostrils flared, teeth clenched, and eyes - that I knew could be kind and warm - cold. He grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard.

"What the hell was that?" he yelled. "You don't come in here and proposition us like that. You know your place."

I pushed his hands off me, my lip curling into a snarl. "Yeah, I guess I do. My place is on the street corner, begging for food. My brothers? Their place is in a foster home. Probably getting beaten and molested. You've all done your part to make that perfectly clear."

Jax looked taken aback. "That won't happen."

"No?" I spat back. "You tell that to the pile of bills in the passenger seat. Or the social worker who won't get out of my ass." I took a deep breath, fighting back tears. "That car, and everything in it? That's all I have left. And I can't keep it together on my own. All I'm asking for is some help." He went to open his mouth, but I jumped in. "I don't want charity, and I don't want pity. I just want to be able to do right by my brothers. That's all."

Jax took a moment to think, his gaze sliding between my tear-glazed eyes, and the three faces I knew would be poking up over the side of the car. "You thought of getting out of Charming?"

I shrugged, hopelessly, "And going where? Our lives are here. This is all we've ever known. We don't have anywhere else to go."

"Your grandparents in Ohio..."

I let out a short sharp laugh. "Yeah, they wired us a hundred bucks, said my dad got what he deserved, and told me to lose the number." I stopped for a second, taking Jax's hand in both of mine and looked up at him. "Please, Jax. I'm out of options. Tell me what I should do."