Small World, by The Grinning Psychopath.
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Disclaimer I own Nothing not as single thing here.
Heat blazed, in my cheeks as I zipped up, I growled "I can't believe I agreed to that." I grumbled, as Thomas howled with laughter.
"Oh don't worry, there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of Little brother," he laughed, I flinched at the emphasis on little "its just the natural way of things, I mean I am the big brother here, its only right that I should be superiorly blessed in at least this one department."
I whirled around to face him, "I am almost a foot taller than you, I should be way bigger than you!" I snarled, and he held his hands up in mock surrender, and grinned at me,
"My, someone does appear to be jealous if I am any judge, don't worry, I won't tell anyone, I especially won't tell that hot little apprentice of yours, wouldn't want her to bestow her affections on someone else would you."
That did it, I snarled and leapt for his throat…
About ten minutes later, Murphy walked in, and separated us with extreme force, before I could have my brains rubbed out of my head, by my brother's hard knuckles.
"My it does seem I am a superior fighter, as well as a superior fu-" I leapt at him again, before he could finish that sentence, he could mock me all he wanted, in the privacy of our home, but in front of other people, particularly Murphy, MURPHY of all people!
I felt a small hand close over mine, and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground, one foot planted firmly between my shoulder blades, and my hand bent in ways it wasn't meant to be bent in. I whimpered.
"Okay, now would someone like to tell me what that was all about?" Murphy asked, after having gotten us both, to swear not to antagonize or throttle each other, when she let me up.
I grumbled, and looked down at my feet, too embarrassed and humiliated to say anything, Thomas however being the bigger man, in all of this didn't have that problem. "Oh, it wasn't much, sergeant Murphy," he smiled stretching himself out languorously, like a cat that's just recently fucked and fed, "Just umm me and my brother here, checking to see who was the Bigger man, trust me its nothing much." his eyes sparkled, and Murphy raised one golden eyebrow at me, I gritted my teeth, and tried to keep a firm hold on my temper.
"Well at least I have some substance to me, you are about as thin as a needle!" I growled a weakly, Thomas gave me a condescending look, "First off brother, its Length women like in their men, isn't that right detective?" he grinned at Murphy and blushing just a little, Murphy nodded sagely, "and secondly, I have more than enough substance to me, MORE than enough, just the perfect amount really, to go with my length impressive length of 14 inches" he smirked "Which really is more than can be said for your measly in comparison 6." He grinned even wider, and I heard a small intake of breath from Murphy, "14 inches," she whispered staring at him… not at his face either, no further south quite a bit further south of his face in fact. Thomas winked at her, and she blushed and giggled a little.
I began making mental excuses, for murdering both of them. Temporary insanity! Justifiable homicide!
Murphy tore her gaze away from Thomas, to glance guiltily at me, "Well umm Harry umm," she giggled again, "you know what they say, its um.. Its not the size of the ship that matters it's the motion of the ocean." she smiled weakly at me, and it was obvious she was trying very hard not to laugh, in my face.
Thomas leaned his face down, putting her lips right next to her ear, and stage whispered, "Yeah but it takes a long time to get to france in a rickety old row boat." that did it…
Both Murphy and Thomas burst out laughing, and I lost it… years later the people of Chicago would wonder, idly over cups of coffee, what ever did happen to that one detective lady, and that fine looking hair dresser, never knowing that their bodies lay, just a few feet away from them, encased in concrete, one of the two bodies withered and horribly burned from the waist down, so that no one could ever tell just how much larger his world was compared to his younger but much taller brother's, needless to say, No one ever found the body's, and even if they did years later, no one would ever suspect the grief stricken little brother, for by then he would have had about 6 or eight children with his beautiful wife Molly Carpenter, and 4 grandchildren on the way, and no one would ever suspect that a girl like that would ever be with someone as under endowed as he was compared to his half brother Thomas Raith.
So what do you think? I kinda ran out of steam towards the end there, so it could have been better, but then could've been worse too.
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