a/n: I'm kinda back I guess? this takes place on the Gintoki vs. Takasugi episode btw.
down the narrow way
.
.
.
.
(he spent his entire lifetime chasing for impossibility)
.
.
.
.
Takasugi remembers all of it. The aspirations, the bonds, wills and the burning hatred he had kept long time ago. He remembers it all.
He remembers the moments where everything is simple. No smoke fogging the entire camp, blades slashing forward to cut down Amanto's, nor the countless amounts of dead bodies lying on the bloody battle field.
And there's no war worth fighting for.
It's just him, sensei, and his two idiots' companions.
But everything is not the same anymore. They're adults, not little kids anymore who fought over the dumbest things. They're holding real swords and they're tearing out Amanto's flesh inside and out.
The war is real and they have to save sensei.
They wouldn't have gotten into this point—fighting, punching, stabbing razor sharp swords and screaming curses and profanities and blaming each other for Shoyou's death- if it weren't for Gintoki's choices.
They would still be fighting over dangos and yakults like the stupid little kids they used to be. They wouldn't have to go to the war and Shouyo would have been alive. And it hurts so much that he could only do is to keep punching Gintoki's face until he sees his blood gushing out from a broken nose, gags on his own blood and his face cracking from his bloody knuckles filled with furry and anger that he had kept all along.
He grits his teeth till he tastes blood and he pulls another punch. And another. And another punch—
Takasugi screams.
There's agony in his lungs, the regrets, the memories, the betrayal in his heart – it's all mixed up together and he felt like he is suffocating from all of it—and his eyes are burning with blood and tears and he wanted to suppress himself from crying, for everything that he lost. And it hurts so goddamn much because Shouyo is dead and Sakamoto and Katsura left and his dreams are long gone all because Gintoki ruined it all.
But Takasugi knows. He knows he would have done the same damn choice that Gintoki took. He knows why Gintoki did it and he fucking hates it. He hates everything and he fucking hates himself more than anything in this goddamned world, for being so helpless, pathetic and powerless to save anyone.
Because life is unfair. It's just so fucking unfair that they literally spent their whole childhood fighting for war. They lost their friends, their comrades. They lost everything and they were supposed to save him.
In the end, Shoyou is dead and he had to die by the hands of Gintoki. Because Takasugi was not good enough to save him. To save all of them.
(He was always never been good enough for anybody)
Justice isn't going to be served for Shoyou's death anytime. So Takasugi will keep fighting. He'll get revenge for him and he is going to destroy everything that comes on his path.
and he's never going to stop—
.
.
.
.