June 20, 2013
Elijah,
You are gone to God knows-where, but you are gone.
Initially this letter was going to be about how stupid you are and about how you are making the biggest mistake of your life, but I'm pretty sure I already told you enough and you've heard enough from everybody and if you still didn't listen to them when you could've well, how is this letter going to make a difference? You are already on the plane.
Realization also hit me and I knew that no matter how much I want to be mad at you, I shouldn't be. You're going to need support after all. So all I want to say is:
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have reacted the way i did. But what else was I supposed to do? You don't tell your girlfriend on her graduation day that you enlisted in the military behind her back AND you're scheduled to deploy the day after. You just don't do stuff like that!
You don't.
You know what? No. God, I'm sorry but you are stupid. SO STUPID. You barely graduated a year ago! How could you just drop out of uNiversity? And to fight...I thought you were done with chasing bullies, Elijah. I thought you had left that behind in high school. I thought you were better than that.
I thought you loved me.
We had a future planned out damn it! Now your future isn't so sure. Do you know how scary it is knowing that? Knowing I can loosed you at any moment and not because you want to, or I want to, but because some other idiot thinks it'd be OK to shoot at you.
You've hurt me Elijah, more than you'll ever know. But like I said, I shouldn't be mad at you. I can't not knowing you're going to face horrible things. I know you'll need support and I want to reassure you that'll you get it from me.
I love you more than anything.
Please take care. I'll be praying for you.
God Bless,
Clare Edwards