(A/N: Draconichero: Welcome one and all to the season 1 finale of Who Would Win. The Real Brick: Um, since you really don't have set dates for these things, can you really call it a season finale since they're all one-shots. Draconichero: …shut up. It's the first major battle and a heavily requested matchup across the internet. I only do major debacles only once in a blue moon because of my lack of integrity and all the research involved. The Real Brick: Damn you Oda! Show us what Zoro can do! His fight should've been the season 1 finale. Draconichero: …an-y-way! This time it's time to find out a true answer between two famous gunslingers in the anime world. The Real Brick: Rushuna Tendo, The Smiling Senshi. Draconichero: and Vash the Stampede, the Humanoid Typhoon. For a fair assessment, since these two gunslingers are so much against killing, we have to play up their pacifistic tendencies as faithfully as possible. The Real Brick: With Vash packing a city busting nuke in his right arm that he'd have no reason not to use otherwise, probably a good idea. Draconichero: That doesn't mean his machine gun won't be a factor. The Real Brick: We're sure this is still a fair fight? Draconichero: Positive. The Real Brick: Okay! Draconichero: Also, since both characters are noticeably different in the manga, we will be assessing their anime counterparts only. Most people ARE familiar with just the Animes, right? …right? …Right then, I'm Draconichero! The Real Brick: I'm The Real Brick. Draconichero: And it's our job to take two combatants and have them duke it out in a fight to the finish. The Real Brick: Just so that we can answer one question. Draconichero: One on One with no interference, WHO WOULD WIIIIIIN?)
Disclaimer: Trigun and Grenadier belong to their respective series writers and owners
The Fighters
Fighter A
Name: Rushuna Tendo
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Hair Color: Blonde
Hair Style: Long
Eye Color: Yellow
Primary Pistol: .38 caliber revolver
Noticeable attire: her fancy straw hat
Secondary equipment: armor piercing rounds, underwater bullets
Nickname: The Smiling Senshi/Grenadier
Philosophy: Strip enemies of their armor and hold them close to her bosom
Provoked by: Violence and mistreatment of others
Training: Formally trained since she was a child.
Love Interest: Yajiro Kojima
Façade: Stereotypical Blonde Bimbo
Fighter B
Name: Vash the Stampede
Age: 130+
Gender: Male
Hair Color: Blond
Hair Style: Spikey (typically)
Eye Color: Blue
Primary Pistol: .45 Colt
Noticeable attire: orange tinted sunglasses
Secondary equipment: hidden machine gun in left arm.
Nickname: The Humanoid Typhoon
Philosophy: "This world was built upon LOVE AND PEACE!"
Provoked By: Murder, harming those he really cares about/Uses violence only as a last resort
Training: None known, presumably everything he learned was developed over his long lifespan.
Love Interest: Meryl Strife
Façade: Goofball Lecher
The Setup
"Ugh it's so hot," Yajiro sighed, fanning himself with his hand.
"Oh it's not so bad," Rushuna said with a big smile.
"Easy for you to say," her companion sighed looking at her, "you can breathe in that outfit."
"What do you mean?" Rushuna asked tilting her body in such a manner that her large chest bounced upward.
"N-nevermind."
As the two continued walking through the town, a gentle wind blew through the air knocking a piece of beige parchment at their feet. Rushuna picked it up.
"What is it?" Yajiro asked her.
"It's a wanted poster," Rushuna said, examining.
"Vash the Stampede, huh?" Yajiro commented reading the name. "He doesn't look that tough." His eyes then scanned down towards the reward money. "HOLY! Sixty Billion Double Dollars?!"
"Huh?" A man in suspenders with a mustache grumbled as he passed Rushuna and Yajiro. "You two thinking about going after Vash the Stampede?"
"Uh, well…"
"Ferget it," the man said, moseying on past, "Your lives ain't worth risking for that monster." He waved to both travelers. "Ain't no one ever caught that man and ain't no one ever will."
Yajiro looked at Rushuna. "What do you think?" he asked her.
Rushuna held the wanted poster by her bosom, examining the stern look in Vash's sketched eyes. She held her right hand under her chin. Her thumb was pressed against the base. Her index finger was rubbing underneath her lip. She appeared to be deep in thought with the way her lip was pursed.
After about a minute of silence she shoved the poster into Yajiro's chest. "Hang onto that, okay Ya-chan?"
"Huh?"
Rushuna put her hat on and tilted up the brim with her thumb. "Just leave it to me," she winked. "I'll get Vash the Stampede and I'll even bring him back alive."
"Huh? You sure?"
Rushuna aimed her left hand up to the sky, shaping it like a pistol. She switched eyes she was winking with. "Don't you worry about a thing, Ya-chan. I'll be just fine."
"Well…I guess…but…"
"Hmm?"
"How are you going to find this guy?"
A tumbleweed and a western wind blew past both Yajiro and Rushuna. Both of them were silent.
"I'll find a way!" Rushuna suddenly exclaimed.
"You really have no idea, do you?"
While Rushuna was out on the hunt, the wanted man, Vash the Stampede, was sitting in a bar in the next town over from the next town over, stuffing his face full of food. After yet another misunderstanding, Vash had been roped into saving the town along with his tagalongs Meryl Strife and Milly Thompson. Both women were watching Vash go to town on a salad, a pile of waffles and a t-bone. In other words, it was a typical Wednesday for the Humanoid Typhoon.
"Good grief where does he put it all?" Meryl grumbled, loudly.
"Mr. Vash is like a growing boy. He needs his vitamins and minerals," Milly said with a smile.
Meryl put her head into the table. She put her hands alongside her temples. "How can you be so carefree?"
Vash then coughed up an olive across the room that got lodged in his throat and then proceeded to voraciously eat like nothing happened.
Meryl looked disgusted. "Seriously?"
"Eat as much as you like," the old, bespectacled, stocky woman who ran the bar told Vash. "I can't thank you enough for what you did for the town."
"Mmmhmm!" Vash exclaimed, mouth full of food.
It only took him only so long before he had eaten everything except the plates, utensils and the steak bone. After which, he concluded his meal with a loud belch.
"Oh, excuse me," he said, wincing, "that was incredibly rude of me." He then stood up, pushed his chair in, brought the plates to the bar table and bowed. "Thank you for the meal, it was very delicious."
"Oh you're quite welcome, young man."
Vash then stretched. "Right then, four times around the town should be enough to get me energized." Vash then proceeded to jog out of the bar. "Hup! Two! Three! Four! Hup! Two! Three! Four!" He chanted over and over.
Meryl sighed while Milly laughed.
Outside, Vash continued his erratically postured jog as a traveler came up the road way. A hunter had taken to the scene. With a long crossbow strapped to his back, a toothpick in his teeth and a wide, beige hat and gray hair—complete with chinstrap mustache—he made his way into the town. He saw Vash running around like a complete idiot and gazed at him. "Lessee here, blond hair and a long, red coat. Heh. That must be my man." He proceeded to draw out the huge crossbow. "One shot oughta do it."
The crossbow bolt sailed through the air like a guided missile towards Vash's head, but Vash gracefully pirouetted and took a ballet leap over the ground for seemingly no reason. The shot missed.
"What in tarnation?"
Vash, of course, had seen the bolt and had taken measures to dodge. As he rounded the corner he saw the older gentleman with the crossbow.
"Hey now," he said. "You shouldn't point dangerous objects like that at people, you could hurt them, you know."
"What the—the hell kind of drugs you on, boy?"
"No drugs, sir!" Vash exclaimed, saluting. "Just high on life, sir!"
The man stuck his crossbow in Vash's face and fired. Vash dodged, the bolt tore right through the tail of his coat.
"Aw, man that's going to be a pain to sew."
"Shut yer piehole!" the angry bounty hunter shouted. "Unless you want me to shut you up permanently. Sixty billion double dollars. Ain't that right Mr. Vash the Stampede?"
Vash sighed. "Money again?" With a swift motion he yanked the crossbow out of the man's hand and beat him in the side of the head with the blunt end. He then dropped the crossbow and whistled as he walked away. He then, of course, took off running.
[line break]
Vash's sprinting brought him to the next town over rather quickly, leaving him winded, but still in good shape. He had, though, of course, left Meryl and Milly behind again. As Vash tried to regulate his breathing, he saw a nearby spigot and proceeded to open his jaw wide as he let the water pour into his gullet.
Someone then fired at him. "Hey!" he shouted. "Get yer mitts off me water, boy!"
"Oh, I'm sorry," Vash apologized as he backed away towards a wall. "It was out in the open, so I thought—" Another shotgun pellet caused Vash to leap to one side in fright.
"I said, get yer mitts off me water. You got till the count a ten to hightail your ass outta here, buster!"
Vash sighed. "Not again."
When Rushuna eventually reached the nearest town, there were bullet holes galore and people on the ground groaning in the streets. She was slightly horrified at the carnage, but no one, thankfully, seemed to be dead. Everyone was either deadbeat tired or only knocked unconscious with acute blunt force. Rushuna pondered to herself who could have done something like this until she saw a young man with blond hair whistling as he waltzed towards her. His eyes were closed and his arms were up over his head. When he noticed Rushuna, he stopped whistling. Oh wow! She's gorgeous! Vash exclaimed. The smiling senshi's beautiful smile and large chest drew Vash to her like a bear to a beehive.
Rushuna leaned forward, dangling her cleavage towards Vash. "Are you Mr. Vash the Stampede?" she asked him politely.
Vash stood up and lowering his voice to a deep and manly tone asked, "If I am, who does that make you, my lovely lady?"
"My name is Rushuna Tendo," Rushuna said. She then politely asked, "Could you please come quietly with me to the precinct? You've caused a lot of trouble Mr. Vash the Stampede. I promise not to hurt you if you just come with me."
"Whaaaaat?" Vash whined. "Don't tell me you're after that sixty billion double dollar bounty."
"I'm sorry. I really am," Rushuna apologized, still smiling sweetly. She then struck an innocent cutesy pose. "Please Mr. Vash the Stampede."
Like putty in her hands Vash was drawn to her cute, nubile body, but then vehemently shook his head. "I'm dreadfully sorry miss," he spoke again in that forced deep tone of his, "But I…have to go!" Vash then took off running.
"Hey wait a second!" Rushuna called out to him, but Vash was long gone and out of her sight. Sighing, Rushuna waltzed into the local pub. The place was a mess.
"Oho," the bartender said, seeing Rushuna. "What can I do you for sweet cheeks?"
"Oh, I'll just have a glass of milk, please," Rushuna said, taking a seat at the only undamaged table.
"Coming right up. On the house. Wouldn't matter otherwise. Place is a mess after Vash the Stampede came barreling through here."
"Mr. Vash the Stampede did this?" Rushuna gasped overseeing the damage.
"Yer darn tootin, nutjob nearly damn wrecked the place."
Rushuna glared. Vash had a lot of explaining to do to her. She stood up. "I'm sorry, but you'll have to excuse me." She immediately left the pub.
"Hey! Where ya goin?"
What Rushuna didn't know was that Vash had been trying to protect the bar—and the town—from the varmints responsible. Of course, most of the damage was because he was there and known by name and the gang he was currently tying up, and lecturing, had tried to arrest him.
"Now remember," he said, holding his index finger in the air, "Don't cause anymore trouble in bars and always remember to brush your teeth." He then laughed.
"Hey you!" Rushuna shouted.
"Huh?" Vash looked over to her. "Oh hey it's the sweet girl from before!" He then noticed the gun in her hand and the glare in her eye. "Uh oh!"
Then, without warning, Rushuna fired.
The Battle
Dodging left to avoid the initial shot, Vash began by running like hell with Rushuna in hot pursuit of the humanoid typhoon. He was not going to get away with trashing a bar, wrecking the town, and tying up those nice gentlemen.
Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam!
Four more shots fired, but Vash dodged each one deftly. He looked behind him, cursing the fact that his pursuer had to be such a skilled, but beautiful blonde.
"Why does all this stuff happen to me?" he whined.
Rushuna then flipped forward, barrel opened and caught the bullets that fell out of her cleavage with her gun. She was ready to fire again in less than two seconds.
"That's…kind of hot," Vash said, slowing down to admire Rushuna's reload method. A shot that nearly grazed the outside of his shoulder had Vash dodge to the side and take off running again. Rushuna remained fiercely on his tail.
With another shot coming way too close to his head, Vash ducked under it and hid in a dumpster. "Aw man, she's really good, but I don't want to hurt her." The dumpster was then opened up with Rushuna smiling down at Vash.
"I'm sorry," she apologized, smiling now. "I promise not to shoot anymore if you'll be a good boy Mr. Vash the Stampede."
"Does that mean I get a donut?" Vash asked with a goofy smile.
"Sure, as long as you come with me to turn yourself in."
Vash sighed. Why did things have to be like this? Quickly he leapt from the dumpster up onto a higher rising building. Rushuna did not have the same level of leg power, so she pursued from the ground and continued to fire. All of her shots were aimed for Vash's legs. She set out to bring in the humanoid typhoon alive and there was no stopping that now. Her earlier shot at his head had only meant to tunnel through that hugely stacked hairdo of his.
Dodging her incoming fire, Vash was panicking. Rushuna's accuracy was the absolute worst he'd ever gone up against from his standpoint. For Rushuna, Vash was the slipperiest target she'd ever shot at. Rushuna was wondering why Vash wasn't returning fire. He was armed. She could see the gun in his coat pocket, so why didn't he return fire and fight back?
Her pursuit against Vash led them both right out of the town limits and into the desert. They were at least 10 isles out from the town with both standing a considerable distance from each other.
"I must admit I admire your persistence," Vash complimented rubbing the back of his head. "And I really like your reload method. Can't we just call the whole thing off?" Vash's answer was a bullet fired at his foot that he dodged in a panic. "Okay so we'll skip the candlelight romantic dinner." He then took off like a frightened chicken.
Blam! Blam! Blam!
Rushuna's bullets sailed through the air, all of them aimed for parts of Vash's right arm, but he dodged swiftly to the left.
Vash hid behind a rock as Rushuna quickly reloaded, waiting for him to come out.
Vash took a deep breath. He really didn't want to hurt Rushuna, but she wasn't giving him a choice. Nothing for it then. He pulled his trusty colt out of his pocket and readied it. Maybe if I just graze her I can shake her off. Poor thing, I hate to do this to her.
I really wish he'd just surrender. I much prefer smiles to bullets, Rushuna thought as she waited for Vash to appear from out behind the rock.
And then Vash did appear, tumbling towards Rushuna's right and letting fly several slugs at her body. Rushuna dodged to the left as she watched the slugs fly by and watched Vash take off running to the right, further away from civilization. Taking a deep breath, Rushuna pursued. Vash had returned fire. The situation was escalating.
Eventually, the duo was so far out from civilization that the nearest town couldn't even be seen on the horizon. The two gunslingers stood out in an open, flat desert staring each other down. Their pistols were at the ready. Each was prepared to fire like a showdown at high noon.
A tumbleweed then rolled past them along with a gentle breeze. As soon as the weed rolled beyond Rushuna's foot and out of Vash's sight, the two began firing.
Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam!
Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam!
Four shots from each of their guns sailed through the air. Although both had shot at the same time they had predicted each other's trajectories and each bullet ricocheted into another, deflecting the offending shots away from their owner.
Blam! Blam!
Blam!
Rushuna fired two shots and Vash fired only one. He dodged away from her two while Rushuna tumbled forward and reloaded letting fly four more. Vash fired his last bullet at the right angle so that he slammed the initial bullet into the other three.
Vash proceeded to reload, but Rushuna was already firing two more shots, reloading and firing three more.
Dancing like a monkey, Vash did his best to dodge with an open gun, to avoid Rushuna's bullets. However, each of her shots shot right through his coat. None of them grazed his skin though.
Rushuna fired three more bullets from her current load and Vash finally got his gun loaded and fired back with an equal number of bullets. He was surprised when Rushuna then began running around towards his right side. She reloaded and fired two bullets. Vash fired two bullets of his own. Each one missed Rushuna and she barely missed grazing Vash in the upper portion of his leg with one bullet. The other bullet would've tore right through Vash's left femur if Vash hadn't picked his leg up.
Rushuna and Vash dashed towards each other, now sending off bullets at point blank range. However, Rushuna was fully reloaded by the time she reached Vash while Vash only had one bullet.
Despite this, Vash managed to dance gracefully around Rushuna while she fired her entire volley. He was ready to fire while Rushuna readied another six bullets into her barrel. When Rushuna had her gun ready she found Vash's gun sticking her in the cheek. Her gun was right in front of his right eye. Each fighter stared at the other momentarily before Vash readied a knife in his boot and attempted to scrape Rushuna's leg with it.
She heard the gentle click when the knife emerged. She jumped back, crouched down and fired upward at Vash. He fired his bullet to deflect Rushuna's own and Rushuna flipped backwards through the air, firing three bullets at Vash.
The humanoid typhoon dodged Rushuna's incoming hail and then fired three of his own bullets as he ran around her right flank. Rushuna twisted her body in midair as she avoided Vash's bullets. Vash then fired another bullet and Rushuna bent over backwards as the bullet passed over her gigantic breasts as they jiggled backwards towards her face. The bullet was well past Rushuna's head as her breasts stood firmly and she got back to her feet. She then returned fire.
For the next two volleys Rushuna and Vash stood perfectly still, firing bullet after bullet at each other. Their improbable aiming skills had them shooting each other's bullets out of the air.
Rushuna then proceeded to maneuver into close range against Vash, crouching, ducking and shooting to avoid his fire.
Vash stepped backwards, but not nearly as fast as Rushuna was proceeding towards him. The two stood only nine feet from each other as they began circling and shooting around each other. Rushuna got off more shots thanks to her quicker reload time and she was hoping Vash would eventually give up.
However, Vash seemed to be packing just as much heat as Rushuna and eventually with a firm kick to her stomach he was able to put considerable distance between the two of them. He then fired a bullet meant to tag Rushuna in the foot through her boot.
Rushuna avoided the bullet and fired back. She and Vash stood apart from each other as they kept their gun barrels extended. Each one was trying to formulate a plan to overcome the other, but at present they just stood still, their gazes locked in eternal stalemate. It got the point where Vash had to put on his orange tinted sunglasses just to avoid the harsh sunlight shining on him from the right. Rushuna put her hat on at the exact same time.
While Rushuna and Vash continued to lock mental horns, Milly and Meryl were approaching the scene.
"Ah! There he is! I think I see him in the distance." Meryl shouted.
"Uh oh, I think Mr. Vash is in trouble," Milly stated, seeing the two figures facing off in the distance.
"Ugh, what is that idiot up to now?" Meryl growled.
Before they could be noticed by Rushuna and Vash, the two were back to shooting each other. Rushuna noticed the mountainous terrain behind and to the left of her and circled around Vash so that she could pursue him in that direction. As she did, Meryl and Milly drew onto the scene.
"Vash!" She called out.
"Meryl! Get away from here!" Vash called out. "It's dangerous!" He had turned his attention to her just as Rushuna fired a bullet.
"Vash!" Meryl, not thinking and running on pure emotion, dismounted her mount and ran at Vash to protect him. What Rushuna had fired as a grazing wound meant to just barely miss Vash's left lung tunneled into Merly's body from the side, burrowing deep into her body. It shattered through a rib bone and hit into Meryl's spinal column, missing all of her vital organs.
"Meryl!" Milly shouted running to check on her friend.
Rushuna gasped. The wound she had inflicted looked pretty serious. She and Vash had to stop fighting right now and get Meryl to a doctor. She opened her mouth to speak, but Vash crouched down to check on Meryl's condition.
"H-hey, y-you okay?"
"Do I look all right to you…idiot. Aaggh…hnnn!"
"Don't move!" Vash crouched down as Milly came running over to see if Meryl was all right.
"Take her to a doctor immediately," Vash told the tall, blue haired woman.
"B-but what about you, Mr. Vash?"
"I have some unfinished business to take care of." Milly didn't move. "Go!"
"R-right!"
Vash looked at Rushuna with an angry stare.
Rushuna gave him a look of sympathy. "I-I'm really sorry. I-I didn't mean to—"
"Shut up! You want a fight so badly? You've found one! I'm not coming with you, not under any circumstnaces!"
Rushuna frowned. "Well then, in that case, you don't get a smile!"
The Winnah
Rushuna watched as Vash's left arm collapsed upon itself a machine gun sprouted forth from it. "You're going to pay," Vash said and fired.
Brrrrrrraaaak!
The near unending volley of bullets came at Rushuna like sideways raindrops.
Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam!
Four of Rushuna's bullets hit into Vash's volley, knocking the bullets into each other and sending the ricocheting slugs in a multitude of directions. Vash and Rushuna began dodging the bullets with deft dexterity, but while Rushuna managed to stay unscathed, Vash got grazed in his right shoulder, along the ball of his right foot and the inside of his left thigh. He then noticed Rushuna circling around to his left and running towards the mountains.
Vash fired his machine gun at Rushuna, but she evaded the incoming fire by leading him.
Blam! Blam!
Rushuna fired the last two of the bullets in her gun. One completely dodged the incoming volley and tagged Vash in the left elbow while Vash dodged the other one as it bounced off the rim of his sunglasses.
Vash continued his pursuit, hand gripped on both of his guns. He kept up a steady pace with Rushuna, firing short volleys every so often on her but only managing grazing shots of her dress and tearing one slug from his pistol through her hat.
Vash watched as Rushuna circled around the rock formation near the base of the nearby mountain, came out around from behind a rock and fired two shots. Vash dodged both as he fired back for shots, but Rushuna used the rock she was near for cover. Vash ran up and around the pathway leading to the rock formation when he found Rushuna firing six shots in a honeycomb pattern.
Vash ducked under Rushuna's bullets and fired his machine gun. Rushuna dodged reloaded, jumped to the side and fired three shots, damaging the machine gun to the point of uselessness. Vash turned and fired at Rushuna as he saw her standing on top of a rock. Rushuna fired two shots and jumped down behind the large rock she had been standing on.
Vash ran around the side of the rock and fired with his gun as Rushuna jumped up and over him firing as she had her back to the sun.
Vash barely had any chance to dodge as his gun arm was grazed. Rushuna then ran away from Vash and hid behind a rock. She peeked out from around it and attacked Vash with her gun twice.
Vash put his back to the rock he next to as the two bullets sailed past him. Rushuna did the same. Checking her ammo she was almost completely out of bullets. She only had twelve left.
Vash still had plenty of ammo, over thirty shots. He didn't know, of course, how much ammo Rushuna had left. As he sat with his back to the large rock, gun pressed to his chest, he let his breathing regulate. His grazing wounds stung.
What am I, he breathed, supposed to do? She's good, really good. Thoughts of poor Meryl flashed in his mind. Vash replayed the scene. In doing so he realized that Rushuna had already fired before Meryl had run in front of him and gotten shot. It was an accident, she hadn't meant it. Vash calmed down considerably. Okay, maybe he could still talk things out. He had thirty bullets left. Depending on how much more Rushuna had left maybe he could convince her to leave him alone. If he outran her ammo, he could still win.
At the same time, Rushuna was pressed against the rock she was next to, wondering if she could settle things in only twelve strikes. She had vowed to bring Vash in alive and she still intended to do that. As she looked to her right, waiting for an opportunity to strike, she saw the reflection of her eyes in her gun's barrel. She gasped at the frightening mask of rage that had become her stare.
Rushuna realized the horrible mistake she was making. She felt stupid for giving up on her ultimate battle strategy. She had told Vash that he didn't get a smile, but that was wrong of her. She realized that now. This is the wrong weapon. Rushuna said to herself and put her gun in its holster.
She came around from behind her hiding place and stood with her arms in the air. "Mr. Vash the Stampede. I promise not to shoot you anymore if you come out from behind that rock. Please put your gun down. We can talk this out, can't we?"
Vash breathed easy. Naïve adult child that he was, Vash was willing to believe Rushuna at face value. He put his gun down, held up his hands and came out from around the rock. He saw Rushuna striking the same pose. "Do I still get a smile?" he asked.
"Of course," Rushuna said, beaming, "since you asked so nicely."
Vash smiled himself. He knew this didn't have to come down to him and Rushuna sticking weapons in each other's faces. He was glad actually.
Rushuna opened her eyes and said to Vash, "Mr. Vash the Stampede, tell me your side. What happened in those bars? You're not really a bad guy, right?"
"Of course not!" Vash exclaimed with a super serious face. "My whole journey is about," he extended his crossed index and middle finger to Rushuna. "LOVE AND PEACE! Love and Peace!" He chanted it over and over again.
Rushuna laughed. "I had you pegged all wrong, Mr. Vash the Stampede. You're actually a gentle creature after all."
Vash came closer. "Oh it makes me so happy to hear you say that Miss Rushuna, my angel," he wept manly tears.
"You had many times to shoot back at me in the beginning, but you didn't, not once. I'm sorry for shooting at you." Rushuna came closer to Vash and, gently, put her hands on his shoulders, either uncaring or unaware that her large breasts were firmly pushed into his chest. With a firm push she got Vash to lower himself to a squatting position. She also squatted on the ground and then hugged Vash into her soft bosom with a smile.
Vash's whole face was red and his expression ripe with perversion. Rushuna's boobs were so soft. He loved the tender sensation.
"Now you're going to be a good boy from now on and not cause any more trouble, right Mr. Vash the Stampede?"
Vash immediately rose to his feet and saluted. "Of course, Miss Rushuna!" he said in his forced manly tone. "I swear it on your calm nature and your ginormous soft breasts that I will cause no more trouble." In reality there was no way he could actually hold that promise since trouble was attracted to him like a magnet, but if it meant Rushuna might give him a kiss or something, Vash was willing to say anything.
Rushuna smiled as she got to her feet. "I'm relieved."
"We both could've avoided this mess from the start if you just talked to me," Vash said with a smile of his own. "I sure hope the insurance girl is okay."
"Oh, I'm sure she is." Tilting her head up and pondering she said. "I'm pretty sure I didn't hit anything vital."
"That's a huge relief," Vash sighed.
"There's just one thing left to do," Rushuna said with a big smile.
"Oh, and what's that?"
Thwack!
The swift chop to the side of the neck came so unexpectedly Vash had no chance to stop it. Rushuna was still smiling giddily as Vash collapsed on the ground unconscious. Picking him up by his legs, Rushuna intended to drag Vash all the way back to collect the sixty-billion double dollar bounty.
END
(A/N: KO! While Rushuna isn't as experienced or packing as much heavy weaponry as Vash, her unorthodox reload method and superior dodging ability ultimately triumphed. While Vash is no slouch at dodging, he's got battle scars to show how much he's been hurt while Rushuna's only ever had one grazing shot throughout the whole series and only because she hesitated. However, in the arena both she and Vash would hesitate to kill the other. However, if this was applying Death Battle's rules Rushuna can reload in under two seconds and fire off a shot almost immediately after. If she was specifically aiming for Vash's vitals she would've killed him well before Meryl and Milly got onto the scene. In a wide open field, when all other things are even, the swifter reloader will always triumph. Also, while Rushuna make lack Vash's life experience, she is formally trained, closing the gap and making this fight incredibly close. And while Vash is packing heavier weaponry of his colt vs Rushuna's revolver, a kill shot is a kill shot. But let's not forget the elephant in the room, this matchup ultimately came down to boobs. Vash is an extreme pervert, though he tries to hide it…sort of. There's a reason Rushuna's Marshmallow Hell method is referred to as the Ultimate Strategy. And thus boobs soothed the savage Stampede. The winner is Rushuna Tendo).
NEXT TIME ON WHO WOULD WIN
Slayer of Undead!
Leader of the Paladin Order!
Master of PUNS!
VERSUS
"DEMACIA!"
"I will not falter!"
"JUSTICE!"
Coming soon…