Severus Marvolo Riddle …Er… Snape
By:
Jessicaz
A/N: OK! This is my first challenge fic. The challenge, issued by Sorceress_Forever, had to include the following:
- Hermione and Draco get into an
argument, resulting in Draco being turned into a frog
- Somebody has to say, "Behold the power
of cheese!"
- It has to be funny
- Dumbledore wears a tube top
- Snape and Trelawney go out on a date
- Voldemort has to join S.P.E.W.
- Quidditch has to be involved somehow
Well,
I don't want to make LONG author notes, so you can read the fic now!
Hermione started to read
the headline in The Daily Prophet, when she almost fainted. "Harry!
Ron!"
"WHAT!?!?" replied the two best friends in unison, utterly
surprised, as Hermione only said their names like that one two occasions:
Either she had some really astounding news, or she was terribly scared.
"Read this." Hermione handed the issue over as the boys read,
"You-Know-Who Wins Quidditch and Joins Student Organization!!!"
Harry spit out his milk, while Ron laughed so hard that milk
squirted out of his nose. "What? He did what? Oh, that's just hilarious!!!" Ron
exclaimed to Hermione. She turned a deep shade of pink.
"Actually, Ron, er…" Hermione said, turning even pinker,
"He-He joined S.P.E.W.!"
It was Harry's turn to have milk run out of his nose.
"Hermione! Are you SERIOUS?? He wants to kill me, and you let him join???"
"Well, actually, er, I didn't know it was him. He, kind of
just, sent me an owl stating that he wanted to join, included two sickles, and
signed it as anonymous. I thought it was o-okay, I just thought that, well,
someone actually wanted to join S.P.E.W.!" Hermione was close to tears
by now.
"Hey, mudblood! What's the matter?" came a drawling voice
that the trio knew none too well.
"Get out of here Malfoy!" Ron spat.
"Oh, Weasley, Potter, what happened? Got a runny nose?" Of
course, they had a line of milk drops all the way down their fronts.
"That's it! That's it!!" Hermione was really mad by now.
First she let the Dark Lord join her organization, and now, Malfoy was up to no
good. "Contalis!"
With the leg-lock curse on him, Harry asked, "Hermione? What did
you do?" He had just noticed that Malfoy was hopping back to the Slytherin
table – as a frog.
"Well, it's an advanced spell. It conjures all of the known
spells, except for the Unforgivables, and puts them on everyone in the room,
except for the conjurer. It lasts for five minutes for the good people, but
five days for the evil."
"Where am I? What is going on here? Why am I wearing these
stupid clothes? Why is there milk all down my front? Ewww! A girl!" Ron had
obviously been given the forgetfulness potion.
Harry was dumbfounded. "Where did you learn that? Oh!
Hermione! Snape! What happened to him? I hope he is a frog for the next five
days. What a potions class that'd be!"
Hermione couldn't bear to look at Harry. What would he think?
"Well, actually, Snape is himself. So is Trelawny." In a mumble she added, "Why
won't you quit that dumb class anyway?"
"Well," Harry thought for a moment. He didn't really know why
he even stayed in Divination. "I don't know why we do it. I guess it's just fun
to goof off for one class a week." There was a sudden silence in his voice.
"What do you mean? Snape and Trelawny aren't here???"
"They are on a date," said a voice that Harry loved to hear, happy.
It was Albus Dumbledore, but he was addressing the whole school. The Great Hall
had been quiet for quite a while, listening to the two argue. "Professors Snape
and Trelawny are on a date. They asked for me to tell you that, to the dismay
of many students, they will not be teaching from now on. Some of you may
remember Professor Lupin. He will be taking over Professor Snape's class and
Professor Black will be teaching Divination." There was a murmur throughout the
hall.
"Hermione! Did you see what Dumbledore's wearing?"
The spell had worn off of Ron, and he now was interested in listening to
Dumbledore, who just happened to be wearing a florescent pink tube top,
complete with hot pink sequins.
"Forget that Ron! Listen!" Harry wanted to make sure Dumbledore
had said "Black."
"Yes, yes. Sirius Black will be teaching here. He was found
not guilty exactly," the headmaster took a peek at one of his many watches.
"Thirty two seconds ago. Now, everything will be fine. Don't worry! Now, you
all are going to be late for class. Get a move on!"
~~~~~
A little away, in
Hogsmeade…
"Oh, darling! Behold the power of cheese!" Sybil Trelawny
replied to Severus Snape.
"Yes, my dear, cheese is the key to a nice healthy
wizard."
"What will we name him?"
"What a silly question, Sybil! It will be Severus Marvolo
Snape!"
The End
A/N: Well, a first try at a challenge fic. I know parts were bad, but I think overall, it was funny. Tell me what you think, but I prefer constructive criticism to flames!
~~~~~Jessicaz J