• I've been working on a longer fic for a while now, so this is only going to have three chapters. Also I wrote this in the middle of exams, so please excuse the dumbness that is my writing.

• I'm not British, so if my slang is off I apologise.

• This fic is dedicated to my friend Danny (tumblr:merlination), who bet me that I couldn't write a fic where a particular something is revealed, but have both Arwen and Merthur be canon. Happy Holidays Danny! It's probably not what you expected, but I hope you like it anyway.

The Three Revelations

The First Revelation

Arthur Pendragon was not the best when it came to dealing with emotions.

Ok, maybe that's a slight understatement. When he was five years old, for example, Leon accidentally pushed him into a puddle of water. The other boys had taken one look at him - his dirty blonde hair plastered to his forehead, the black water dripping steadily down his nose, his trousers covered in damp patches - and they had laughed, raucous jeering laughter, until their stomachs ached and they were practically rolling on the grass. Uther had told him, time and time again, Arthur don't react. A prince must not show agitation. A prince must remain calm and collected. That was the important part. So Arthur pretended like it didn't bother him, and they finally stopped.

That could have been the end of it, but it wasn't. Because Arthur was his father's son, and his father was known for his temper. So Arthur kept that anger bottled up inside him, and it grew hotter and hotter with each passing second. Then he was having dinner in the Great Hall, and noticed that the cook had put carrots into his stew even though she undoubtedly knew he hated carrots, and the burning hot anger surged out of him. He screamed and threw his plate across the room so that the stew spilled on the shiny floor and caused the jester to slip when he came in to entertain them.

A part of him - granted a very small, uncharacteristically astute part - was aware of this. Even back then. Yet he didn't stop. Something would upset him or cause him fear and anger and he'd take it out on whatever was the closest, whoever was the easiest. Morgana beat him in sword fighting, so he yelled at Leon for yawning during dinner in front of the whole court. His father had stopped him from attending a melee in Mercia, so he was rude to the stable boy. And yes, the habit continued well into his twenties. Admittedly, it had lessened since Merlin became his servant. Perhaps because Merlin had taught him to understand that all people were equally important regardless of class, but more likely because Merlin was such an easy target, and so easily within reach that Arthur never had to take his anger out on anyone else. Something would piss him off or scare him or upset him (or sometimes those dumb strange feelings would return for a fleeting moment) and all he'd have to do was find Merlin. Then he'd throw a bucket of water over him, or give him chores, or yell at him about something he was doing wrong. And knowing Merlin, he was certainly doing something wrong.

Yes, alright. Arthur was complete rubbish at dealing with emotions.

So it was naturally somewhat of a problem when Gwen broke up with him. He was actually having quite a nice day, and then she came in and quietly asked Merlin to leave. Which he did, smirking and winking at Arthur. But Arthur knew it wasn't what Merlin was thinking. Something was wrong. Gwen never came to him in the middle of the day with an expression like that. He stood up, and she looked at him with those large doe-eyes, wringing her hands and biting her lip and admitted she had found love with another.

"Who is it?" Arthur had asked, his voice level.

"Does it matter?"

Arthur supposed it didn't. Well, until he found out that it was Leon.

He came to ask Arthur permission two days later. He entered with a bowed head and asked if he could court her. Humbly. Respectfully. Apologetically. And Arthur - stupid bloody idiot - he'd given his blessing. But then he'd thrown a goblet against the wall and retaliated by taking all the knights sans Leon to the tavern.

Which was a problem. Arthur had bought them the most expensive drinks, and before they knew it, it was well past midnight and they were all completely drunk. And they had practice in the morning. Bloody hell. And on top of it all, Arthur was feeling sad again. He watched the bar maid flirt with a tall strapping young man and felt resentment gurgle through his gut.

"We'll find you someone else," Gwaine said, sloshing ale all over the wooden table. He was oddly perceptive for someone so vacuous and clueless. The tavern was dimly lit, and the knights were clustered around the table. They were all in their day-clothes, nothing bearing the crest of Camelot. While they seemed to be having a good time, they were quieter than usual. Soft music came from somewhere Arthur couldn't see. Merlin sat perched on the end of the bench, not drinking. He was alternating between staring into his tumbler of mead and looking at Arthur. There was something in his eyes. Concern. Pity. Arthur felt a bolt of agitation run through him.

"I'm fine," Arthur announced. "I'll bounce back."

He again avoided the eye of the girl with the black curly hair who was staring at him from across the room. Tomas, Arthur's least favourite knight who had unfortunately seated himself next to Arthur, nudged him in the side.

"That girl has been making eyes at you all night," he said, nodding towards her. "If you're not going to make a move, I will."

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Arthur said. His tried to sound nonchalant, but his voice came out stiffly. "For me, I mean."

"Why?" Tomas asked, raising an eyebrow. "I thought you said you were fine?"

Arthur clenched his teeth. He wanted to punch the smug look off Tomas's face. Oddly enough, Arthur used to be really close to Tomas when they were teenagers. Back then they were practically inseparable. Tomas had been there when Arthur had met Merlin for the first time; the one who encouraged Arthur to pick on Merlin again when they met for the second time. He and Tomas had fallen out of touch a few months after. Arthur wasn't quite sure why. But it didn't matter. He couldn't bloody stand the man now.

"Like you could get that girl anyway," Arthur sniffed. "She's far too comely to even glance in your direction."

"She's only interested in you because she doesn't know you," Tomas said.

The other knights fell silent and Tomas laughed, hitting Arthur across the shoulders. "Relax boys, Arthur knows I'm joking."

Tomas was grinning now. The yellow light from the candles blazed wickedly in his eyes. Arthur couldn't stand it. He stood up, almost tripping over the bench. Merlin jerked up from his seat, prepared to help. Arthur shooed at him.

"I'm going to go over there." Liquid courage. His cheeks were warm. He took another gulp of his ale and stumbled over to the girl. She was on the far side of the room, and watched with amusement as he came close.

"Excuse me," Arthur said, a hiccup emerging from his lips. "Can I buy you a drink?"

The girl stifled a giggle. "If you wish."

Arthur stumbled over to the bar and ordered a goblet of wine. He took it over to her, spilling some on the front of his tunic. Well not his. It was Merlin's. He'd insisted on dressing like a commoner, because he was not in the mood to get attention. An odd mood for him, to be sure. She took the cup, throwing a glance at his hair. He touched it, only to realise it was sticking up like Merlin's tended to do. He smoothened it, feeling awkward.

"Are you going to sit?" she asked. Her voice was high-pitched, like a little girl's.

He sat down hard. She snorted into her cup.

"You're very pretty," he slurred slightly.

"Thank you."

"So, um…" Arthur scratched his head, trying to find words. He threw a look back at the knights. Tomas gave him a thumbs up. Merlin wasn't even paying attention. Gwaine had moved over to Merlin's end of the table and the two were talking. Merlin was giggling into the back of his hand. Arthur turned back to the girl. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm not in the best mood today. But I'd like to take you out when I'm more sober."

"Alright," the girl said, letting out a sigh. She smoothened her dress. "I'm going to stop you right there. As tempting as that sounds, I'm sorry to say your friend is the one I'm interested in." Arthur followed her gaze. Tomas was grinning at the girl. She giggled, "I thought he knew I was looking at him?"

Arthur felt embarrassment and fury wash over him. He was shaking by the time he made it back to his table. He sat down hard, refusing to make eye-contact with Tomas. Merlin and Gwaine were still wrapped up in their own stupid little idiot bubble.

"So, if you're not going to have her, can I?" Tomas asked.

"You can certainly try," Arthur scoffed. He could feel hot tears building up in his eyes, but he blinked them away.

"She turned you down, did she?" He was really rubbing it in now. Arthur clenched his fists.

"No. I just wasn't interested." All the knights were looking at him now, that same pity in their eyes. "I'm not the one who needs help," Arthur continued. His voice was obnoxious. "You know who really needs help finding a girl?" he paused, and then it was out before he could stop himself. "Merlin."

Merlin's eyes widened and the knights burst out laughing. Spurred on, Arthur made his voice louder. "Look at the poor lad, you think any girl has ever even considered kissing that?" His head was fuzzy from the alcohol, and the tiny astute part of his mind chastised him, told him to stop. But he couldn't obey. Not when all the pain from that morning was fizzing through his veins. When his neck was still hot from the embarrassment from mere moments ago. "How would they? I mean, just look at how gangly he is. Look at those ears."

Merlin remained silent, but he was turning bright red. Gwaine had stopped laughing, but the other knights continued, voicing the fact that they'd never seen Merlin with a girl. A lot of them sounded surprised. Agador ruffled his hair and thumped him on the back.

"We ought to find someone for him," Elyan agreed.

"I'm alright, thank you," Merlin said. His voice was steady, but the blush was rising to his cheekbones.

"Come on Merlin," Arthur said. "Don't you want a finally become a real man?"

"Right, and you're going to teach me how to do that, are you?" Merlin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I am a real man," Arthur proclaimed.

"Oh yes, a real man who can't put on his own trousers. A rare breed."

Percival snorted into his mead, and Arthur could feel the hot fingers of embarrassment creeping up his cheeks again. His stomach that had been churning incessantly since that morning clenched.

"How about that girl?" Elyan asked, pointing to a short pock-marked girl with mousey brown hair who was hunched behind the counter. Probably a chamber maid or something.

"Seems out of Merlin's league," Arthur said breezily. He knew Merlin was glaring at him with those cerulean eyes. Those hurt eyes that knew Arthur was taking out all his frustration on him. Arthur couldn't bring himself to look at them. "Still," Arthur continued. "It's worth a shot. Why don't you go over and talk to her, Merlin?"

Arthur finally mustered up the courage, and turned to look at him. Merlin's brow was furrowed. His hair was sticking up oddly, mussed from when Agador had ruffled it.

"Don't you want to have your first kiss?" Arthur asked, his voice saccharine. The knights burst out into peals of laughter again. Tomas was laughing the loudest. Merlin took a deep breath.

"Thanks for the offer, but I've already had that."

"I didn't mean with the back of your hand."

Tomas laughed so hard he fell off the bench.

"Alright, Arthur," Percival said, reaching over for his tankard. "I think you've had enough to drink. And the lad's had enough of your…"

Arthur slammed his hand down on the table, and Percy froze. "I'll know when I've had enough," he muttered. He looked past all the knights. Gwaine had his arm around Merlin, a hand clutching his shoulder. Merlin looked confused and agitated, all small and innocent with his bright eyes and his messy hair. "Come on then, Merlin? Who was she? Your mother doesn't count."

Agador snickered loudly. Elyan grinned. Arthur smirked. He turned to the others, shaking his head. "Doesn't matter even if he tells us. It would probably be some girl 'we don't know'."

"Oh you know her," Merlin said. The forcefulness in his voice made Arthur jerk, but he retained his composure.

"Do I? Who was it? The cook?" Percy let out a giggle. Merlin's expression was hardening. Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Is that why she's always angry at you?" he put on a pout. "Did you break her heart?"

"Why are you so concerned anyway?" Merlin spat. "Jealous?"

Arthur scoffed. "Of what? The fact that you haven't ever kissed a girl?"

"Why are you so sure I haven't kissed a girl?"

"Because you're with me all the time. You think I wouldn't know if you were off snogging some stable maid?"

"Well considering that you don't, I'd say yes."

Arthur felt a flush of heat run through his skin. "Don't know what?"

A smug smile appeared on Merlin's face. Arthur was frowning now.

"When could you have possibly kissed a girl?" Arthur asked. The pitch of his voice was rising.

"I've had plenty of occasions."

"Such as?"

"I don't know. Maybe when you went to the Forest of Balor to get the Mortaeus flower?"

"What?" Arthur's head was pounding. His gut twisted. That was back before he'd fallen in love with Gwen, when he'd been experiencing some strange feelings for a particular blue-eyed scrawny thing. "As if. You were dying."

"So I was."

"Then what the hell are you going on about?"

Merlin blinked innocently. "Why don't you ask Gwen?"

Arthur's eyes widened. He couldn't get a single word to come out of his mouth. Merlin took a sip of his mead. Gwaine was trying to stifle his laughter.

"You don't believe him, do you?" Arthur asked, turning back to the knights, disbelief making his voice even higher. Elyan shook his head and muttered some form of protest. Tomas looked alarmed. No one else said anything. Well, except Gwaine, who was still giggling the damn fool.