Disclaimer: I don't own Discworld, its places, or characters. They all belong to Terry Pratchett. I'm just borrowing them and make no money out of this.
Author's note: So far almost all of my Discworld fanfiction has been completely focused around Lord Havelock Vetinari, and although he is a fantastic character (and will be involved a fair bit even in this story), I reckoned it was time I did actually do something that wasn't all about him, so I chose another character whom I like: Sybil Ramkin. She's always seemed to me to be the kind of person who would keep a diary, and I've always wanted to know more about her life between the sixteen year-old seen in Night Watch and the older Sybil we all know and love, as the books don't provide a great deal of information, and, I suppose, about what she was like before. I have read some very good "Young Characters" stories within this fandom, and thought perhaps I'd give it a shot myself. As a result, I present you with the diaries of a young Sybil Ramkin. Hope you enjoy.
Estelle Tiniwiel –x-
The diary of Sybil Ramkin.
This diary belongs to Sybil Ramkin. No boys allowed, keep out!
Entry 1.
I start at my new school next week. I wish it wasn't so far away. I want it to be near Mummy and Daddy, in Ankh-Morpork, but Mummy says it's the best school for girls, so I have to go there, because I'm her best girl. I don't understand why she insists on saying that. It irritates me. I'm her only girl, it's not like she's got people to choose from.
I don't think Daddy's very happy about it. I saw him staring at me when he thought I was looking the other way and he looked upset, and when he's smiling and agreeing with Mummy and saying I have to go because it's the best place and everything his voice sounds a bit… tight. Havelock Vetinari started his big school three years ago and I don't think he likes it very much. He's at the Assassin's Guild, though, so I expect it's just that the work is very difficult. All Assassins have got to be clever, because the school is the best one in the world for boys and it teaches them how to be proper gentlemen, setting them apart from the middle-class people who pretend (I think I heard that girls are allowed there too now, but that's silly – whoever heard of girl Assassins?). Havelock will be fine, though, because he's very clever, way cleverer than me. I bet when he takes his exams he'll come at the top of all his classes. He's that kind of person, even if he denies it and says he's going to fail everything just to spite the ridiculous school system that pretends to turn young men into sophisticated and intelligent gentlemen, at home in any society, when really all it's breeding is a bunch of incompetent dullards who will one day end up ruling the country. He said that, though, not me. If Daddy heard me saying something like that he'd be really angry, because he went to that school and he's a wonderful person. I think Havelock just gets a bit bored sometimes because he's clever, that's why he's always making a nuisance of himself in classes and getting sent to the Headmaster. I think he gets teased about his name as well, although he's never mentioned it, but you hear things. I overheard Emilia Rust talking about someone the other day at Sarah Selachi's birthday party and she called them "Dog-botherer". Havelock's surname is the only name I can possibly think of that would have even the slightest relation with those kind of words. It's not a very nice name. I hope he's alright, but he's a very quiet boy and he doesn't talk to people much, so it's hard to tell. I think he talks to me more than most, though.
Oh no. I've just realised! The Assassins' Guild school is supposed to be the best school for boys and they all have to be clever, and the school I'm going to is supposed to be the best school for young ladies, so that means we all must have to be clever and intelligent and smart, but I'm none of those things at all! Oh, what am I going to do? I know, I could get Havelock to test me on things and then I won't look so stupid when I get there! But no, that won't work. I don't know what kind of things they'll expect us to know and anyway, Havelock's a boy, so he won't be learning the kind of things I'll be learning. Plus I wouldn't want to spoil his holidays by making him do a) more work, and b) spend time with a girl three years younger than him whom he probably thinks is a bit boring and will make him look silly if he's seen with her. I'll just have to try and make it on my own. I've learnt all the rules of etiquette from Mummy, or at least all the ones she says are "appropriate for a girl of your age", although I don't see why the rules should change at all. Why would anyone want to stop being so polite when they get older? I have a feeling (although I'm not sure, we don't talk about this sort of thing very much) that it's got something to do with getting married. I suppose that makes sense. The rules of politeness must change a bit when you get older and need to get married, because I'm polite to everyone all the time but no boys like me. Well, I mean, Havelock does, but not in that way. Ew, that'd be weird.
I'll have to stop writing now. The maid's just come in and told me it's time for lights out, so I'll have to do as she says or Daddy will get very angry. I used to make a little tent out of the bed sheets and a window pole and take a candle under there, but I had to stop that after the window pole slipped once and I set fire to the bed. Mummy was… what's that phrase Havelock uses... oh yes, incandescent with rage, because we were going to a friend's wedding the next day and my hair was singed. She said I looked ridiculous but personally I quite liked it. My hair was kind of frizzy, which is so much more interesting than straight and boring. The fire was really quite interesting, too. Anyway, I really must go now, because I can hear the maid coming back along the corridor to check up on me and make sure I've gone to sleep.