McGonagall's Promotion
England was as bustling as it always was in the 1960's, with Hogwarts castle taking an even larger share of the pie. Minerva McGonagall, however, had a different plan in mind. She didn't want to work the stock markets like her miserable father. She wanted to shine. And how would she do that? Well, by getting a promotion of course.
At Hogwarts school Minerva glanced rapidly down the derelict corridors. She stole silently away under the cover of night. If anyone saw her, that would raise suspicious questions, and that was something that Minerva did not need one bit right now.
Minerva was competing in the job market for promotions. Right now she was working at Hogwarts as the shit janitor, whose job was to wipe students asses after they took a mean one. This was for economic reasons, such as saving magic. Magic costs were so high in the UK, many had to sell their livers just to support themselves, let alone their families. Minerva dreamt of something bigger, however. She wanted to embrace the full faceted role of being a Professor here at Hogwarts. She had read every. Single. One of the Transfiguration books in existence. She was ready to let herself shine. At long last Minerva made it to the world renowned Headmaster's office. She took a fucking massive breath and knocked on the door twenty seven times before the current Headmaster at Hogwarts, Armando Dippet, answered regally.
"Ah, Minerva," Armando spoke with displeasure in his voice. No one at Hogwarts tried to hide the fact that shit janitors were the low of the low, and that by affiliating with one could result in a bunk of town gossip. "What do you want?"
Minerva took an even deeper breath and began to speak.
"Well, Headmaster, I-"
"No." said Armando, slamming the door shut.
Minerva was furious. She had enough.
Minerva took a swipe at her clothing to reveal a beautiful, miraculous, perky pair of testicles hanging from her chest. With a growl reminiscent to that of a Chinese Monk Dragon, Minerva yelled so loud that she woke up a few sleeping students. They poked their heads curiously out of their doors, scowls forming on their faces when they realized that it was only a shit janitor.
"I've absolutely HAD it SHNEEBLE SCHNOP!" Screamed Minerva. The spell cast the outline of a small but fertile croissant emulating right from Minerva's testicles. It travelled like smoke inside the Headmaster's office, where immediately Minerva could hear pleas for mercy coming from within. She used her scrotum to beat against the walls, finally caving in the door. She saw the croissant beginning to enact its own magic against the ignorant Headmaster, who was slowly turning into bread at the seams.
"Minerva, OH PLEASE YOU CAN HAVE THE JOB!" Shouted Armando through the pain of transformation. Minerva blushed. She had never been offered a job before.
"Haha I suppose…:)." Minerva replied softly. The doors closed, and for the next 80,000 years Minerva served as Transfiguration Professor.
The End.