As Seasons Go By
A Pansy/Blaise Story
Spring 1998
May 15th
A fortnight.
Fourteen quiet days and fourteen sleepless nights.
A fortnight since Vincent Crabbe has died.
She remembers his funeral vividly, the silence and pale faces and all those flowers, pretty and red like blood and life, orange and yellow like the fire that killed him. She remembers that Draco cried without trying to hide it – that Daphne's lipstick was almost purple (and not very becoming) – that Gregory was so lost it hurt to look at him. And she remembers how Mrs Crabbe sat alone in the corner – she had been always so large and loud woman, but now her face was grey and she looked so small and fragile.
After the funeral she came with Blaise and stayed in his apartment. She didn't ask a permission, he didn't give one – no words were needed, because alone was something neither of them wanted to be. Maybe she can leave, when the spring is over. If she wants to and he wants her to. Right now she can't, because staying is the best alternative she (they) have.
They sit together on his green sofa (green as Avada Kedavra, she repeats in her mind over and over again, green as Avada Kedavra and green as death), he reads the day's newspaper and she is right there beside him, hugging herself with her head on his shoulder. When the scary night comes, they sleep together in Blaise's enormous bed, curled up together between the light blue sheets, listening to the sounds of night.
Days have gone by slowly, wounds have started to heal carefully, the sun shines every day and apologizes for everything they and the rest of the world have gone through. Neither of them has yet really noticed the bloom of spring, but someday they will, hope has not died completely yet (green is not only a colour of death, it's the colour of the grass under her bare feet and the leaves that rustle against windows – she has grown to love that voice during these days and nights).
She stays, because she wants to and he wants her to, and when the nightmares return once more, they are happy to be together.