自分らしさ
'Individuality'
A Rurouni Kenshin Fanfiction
Kenshin;Kenji;Kaoru;Gen;20thYearofMeiji

AN: Slightly AU to the end of the manga.
First Published: 17/08/2010
Last Edited: 28/09/2010

Disclaimer: Nobuhiro Watsuki is the true owner of the series. I just have an active imagination.

He was ten years old when he finally found out his father's secret.

It wasn't as though they had purposely done it, but even in their community where all had at least heard of the powerful and yet similarly kind Himura Kenshin, the name Hitokiri Battousai could still strike fear into people's hearts. Even now, almost 20 years into the Meiji Era.

The young adult generation only knew of him from stories, like Myoujin Yahiko, who now, at almost 21, was a skilled swordsman, newly married, and wielded Kenshin's sakabatou with pride as a master of the Kamiya dojo. He had known of the stories of the demon of the Bakumatsu, and was only unafraid because he had met 'Kenshin' before the hitokiri and knew what Kenshin's true nature was.

The younger generations, however, only knew Battousai from stories from their parents about a dangerous man who stalked the shadows of the Bakumatsu. But the Bakumatsu was not real to them and for most, would never have an impact on their lives – no direct impact that they realised anyway. It was a different world to the one they lived in now, full of light and joy and quintessentially, peace, compared to that terror and bloodshed and the constant fear which permeated the Revolution.

Kenji, now at ten years old, was a skilled Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu practitioner. He had inherent talent inherited from both his mother and father, and although much of a crybaby when he was little, the minute he picked up a shinai at seven years old, it had almost seemed as though he knew how to use it instinctively, like an extension of his own arm. Sometimes Kaoru wondered if this was because he had sat there and seen her practicing both in classes and by herself so many times that he had absorbed this instinctively, and considering his skill in mastering new moves, she wouldn't be surprised if this was true.

Now at the young age of ten, Kenji had mastered all of the techniques Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu had to offer and Kaoru knew there was not much more she could teach her son, thirsty for more knowledge. He had even mastered Yahiko's signature one handed blade catch after much nagging of the young man, and had copied to perfection Yahiko's Ryusousen imitation, although it was still a far cry from the real thing.

'Stronger and stronger. That's normal for a swordsman.' The echo of her own voice reverberated through the years. She was lucky Kenshin was not that kind of man.

Kaoru, worried that Kenji's thirst for knowledge (and who knows, possibly power) would set him down dark paths like that of Shishio Matoko and Yukishiro Enishi, encouraged him to brainstorm and create his own signature moves and this temporarily appeased the child's inquisitive mind, but he still tagged along on Kaoru's occasional visits to Maekawa dojo and tried to glean moves off the students there, who were admiring, and similarly expected (considering his parents), his talent.

Yahiko and Kaoru often secretly wondered about Kenji's potential if they had sent him off to Hiko Seijuro, Kenshin's master, since Kenshin had always staunchly refused to carry on the Hiten Mitsurugi line – even though it was not possible anymore with Kenshin's body in such a state. Although they could see how such a dangerous sword style was perhaps better left in the past, the spirit of kenjutsu meant they wanted to preserve as many old styles as possible to keep alive their tradition. Was it still possible to respect Kenshin's choice? Or perhaps was it not Kenshin's to make?

This pivotal day, rather reluctantly, Kenji had agreed to go with Kenshin out to the markets. For a boy so skilled in kenjutsu, and generally mature to the point of frustration for those that knew him well, Kenji was rather immature where Kenshin was concerned. For some reason, he had never liked his father, had pulled his father's hair when he was little and kicked his father's shins (for that was as high as he could reach). Perhaps it was partially to do with the fact that Kenshin never complained that Kenji felt it was alright to continue somehow, or that Kenji disliked the fact he looked so much like the father who 'would never amount to anything'.

Kaoru was a strong woman, she demonstrated it regularly and Kenji treated her with respect and reverence. Yet his father, seemed a quiet creature, satisfied merely with following life along its path, a humble existence. Such a canyon of difference from men he knew like Yahiko, what a man was his father, he who seemed to have no backbone? Kenji detested that kind of a person.

Kenji had no choice today though. Kaoru was going to be busy taking care of his little sister, Takashin, as well as various dojo tasks she had left undone for too long. He would only be in the way, and rather than disrupting his mother he supposed might as well learn some chores and that around the house rather than single-minded focus on kenjutsu – he would have to take care of himself one day after all.

Perhaps that was a reason too. Kenji had always thought Kenshin did too much of the household jobs around the place. Cleaning, washing, doing the laundry, grocery shopping: mundane everyday things. But Kenji did not realise that such things – a quiet life, a daily routine – were welcome after a life of nothing more but assassinations, bloodshed and constant battles against not just past enemies and allies but also himself. It was pleasant now, to just go with the flow, to roll with the world and see where it took him.

Kenji took his shinai with him as they started out towards the market. Kenshin, carrying several containers they would need to carry food as he smiled sheepishly at his distant son, was reminded of Yahiko at the same age, strolling along with the shinai strapped to his back. So many years ago now.

They began their shopping, Kenji maintaining the distant air with ease. Kenshin shook his head slightly and focused on the task., Some vegetables they might need, miso, tofu? It was a good idea not to buy too much, but variety was good also. Now what did they have already at home that he could use, rather than spending money on buying things that would only go to waste...?

Kenji turned his head away, disinterested for the most part, except for when a commotion down the road caught his attention. He pulled the shinai out and raced down the street. Youngsters were so rash.

"Kenji! Come back!" Kenshin called urgently towards his son, but Kenji had already vanished.

Kenshin sighed and dumped his shopping unobtrusively to one side. Maybe if he was lucky he'd be able to come back for it later. His son was more important though, no matter how much the child hated him.

He raced into the crowd with speed. Although he could not use Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu anymore, at least nowhere near its full potential, he was far from defenceless. He had his strength and was young yet, even if people considered nearing 40 to be 'old'. He caught sight of the boy standing tall and proud, with shinai held out towards the shoplifters who had been caught just outside a stall. It brought up very nostalgic memories of - again - Yahiko.

But Yahiko wasn't around right now, nor was this ten years in the past. He had to do what he could in the here and now, and although Kenji was strong, the truth was he had never been in a real life situation. Even with his dojo battles, his training, he wasinexperienced.

One shoplifter threw a bucket and instinctively Kenji made to block even as he realised this was not the correct move to take. Dashing aside at the last instant, he avoided just as another projectile - this time oddly a fan - flew towards him. This was one of the strangest fights he'd even been in, even though he'd always been taught to take advantage of whatever was available.

Suddenly the hail of items stopped as a familiar pair of feet appeared in front of him and Kenji blinked up at this father who was spinning the paper umbrella he had pulled from the stall with enough speed to cause the medium-sized items to merely bounce and tumble away, spun off-course.

"Please stand back to avoid getting hit," he warned the crowd evenly as though this were merely some show he was acting in.

"Who are you?" One of the men snarled.

"Hmm." Once he would have answered, 'Himura Kenshin. A rurouni.', but now he merely said. "Just a passerby." and smiled as he lowered the umbrella.

"As if we would believe that so easily!" One of the three rushed at Kenshin who folded up the umbrella and moved quickly, not quite the god-speed he once had, but quickly enough so that the man missed him completely and Kenshin was able to hit him with the umbrella, spinning once and smashing the fellow in the back of the head as though he were holding his old sakabatou.

As the man collapsed, Kenji stared at his father, shinai dipping slightly as his attention was diverted. His father had never shown a violent side to him, although now an old memory stirred. His father with shorter hair, locked blade to blade with who he knew now to be Yahiko, then Yahiko fell to one knee.

"I still can't beat you, can I." The youth muttered sheepishly.

Kenshin made quick work of the second shoplifter and spun to hit the third when Kenji appeared out of almost nowhere - he had learned the secret behind Kenshin's speed with the shortest, yet intensely analysing glance - and executed the move Kenshin had demonstrated on the first man as he spun and, due to his shorter stature, swept out the man's legs from under him in a move reminiscent of the Souryusen. The shinai snapped in half from the force, splintered pieces falling through the air as father and son looked at each other for the first time with a real sense of connection.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Kenji demanded later on as Kenshin prepared tofu in the kitchen. The younster's eyebrows were drawn down over his unusual coloured eyes as he nagged, his mouth set in a displeased pout. Kenshin sighed and chopped up another portion of radish to add to the slowly boiling pot before he spoke.

"We didn't want you to become conceited, to get any ideals or, perhaps, to even grow up being scared." Kenshin smiled a little as he continued his work methodically. "Though I guess I didn't count on you hating me as much as you seemed to."

"Growing up as the son, or daughter, of a legend - any legend - can make some children confused. Or perhaps, give them ideas. " He continued even as his hands deftly gathered a quantity of herbs. "Even just growing up the son of a bushi can make children feel compelled sometimes, that they should carry on this... custom or family line." He smiled over at his son. "We want you to live your own life."

"Live my own life?" Kenji appeared to be considering his father's meaning as he stepped back from where he had been propping up the bench.

Kenshin nodded. "Find out what it is you fight for, form your own ideals, find out about the world in your own way and see what good you can do for the people." Blue-violet eyes met similarly-coloured eyes. "Kaoru-dono, that is, your mother and I will be here to guide you along the right path, but you must decide what kind of future you want to hew for yourself, and what kind of man you want to be."

He smiled widely now, genuinely; not the sheepish smile that Kenji was accustomed to. "But having said all that..."

"Just be yourself."

That was all he asked.

He would be there for his son no matter what, and lead him along the right paths – fight for the people, not for yourself; but also keep in mind the value of life, including your own, and the costs of killing – but in the end, Kenji's future...

Was decided by his own hands.

Hi, thanks for reading to the end. :D

Note attached to original published version for any further clarification:

I feel there need to be some points of clarification that, true, should have been done in-story, but since I neglected to properly, will be done here, anyway.

Despite Kenji's dislike of his father seeming somewhat immature, I tried to make Kenji seem like a mature character, one that thinks older than the 10 years he is. Kenji is intelligent, he's just not that great in the EQ department just yet. With finding out about Kenshin's identity and having so many questions, this one imagines that Kenji would make his own journey of discovery to find his answers. ... And also one day inherit Hiten, to tell the truth. Kenji is a little power hungry, but he also wants to use his powers for good, like Yahiko is reckless but will do anything to help out anyone in need.

This actually stemmed, after all, from one of Watsuki-sensei's notes at the end of his manga, that he could imagine Kenji learning Hiten moves with only one look, but probably would not continue the story...

Hope that assuages any worries?

Fic Edited: 28/09/2010