Authors note: I do not own this series, Kurt sutter does. Just this random storyline. Suicide heavily plays in this first chapter, if you don't like reading of it. This isn't the story for you. Opie is still alive, along with Donna.
Tara was pissed that one of the guys was following her. After running over one of their motorcycles the previous day, they had gotten smart and started following her around in one of the vans. No longer was Juice following her, but Tig. She sat inside the house pondering what to do, than opening the curtains to flip the smiling Tig the bird.
"Where do you think your going, Tara?" Tig asked while leaning nonchantly against her vehicle. "I'm dropping the kids off, I have business to do," she responded with a sneer on her face. "You know Jax said no daycare, Tara". " I never said I was taking them to fucking daycare, now did I?" Tara growled out, than shoved Tig away from the car. She than peeled out of the driveway over to Gemma's where she knew Unser was staying at for the moment.
"Can you watch them for a little while, apparently they are not allowed at daycare anymore?" "Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, go ahead, we can read some books and make some lunch." Unser replied. Gemma came from out the back, startled, but surprised to see her grandkids. "Business, I guess," he gestured to the kids with a wave of his hands.
Walking into the new MC club house Tara asked where Jax was. The very young teen girl at the counter replied, " He's up at Diosa, I think the name is, said he'd be back later on. Tara was furious at the revelation, letting the front door slam hard behind her, scaring the croweaters. Speeding down the road all Tara could think about was shooting Jaxon. Why couldn't you be faithful for once? I gave you a son and raised your other son. Her inner turmoil and thoughts felt like they were eating her alive. She lowered one hand to her to slide over the slight bump that was visible if you looked at her from the side. Thinking to herself, this is exactly why I need to get away from here.
Diosa was quaint too bad it was filled with nothing but whore. Lyla walked by causing Tara to duck so she wouldn't be recognized and stopped. A redhead in super high heels and a robe on approached her, "Who you looking for dollface?" Tara gave her this sickeningly sweet smile, " You wouldn't happen to know where Collette was, she asked me to stop by to talk earlier." "She's with a client upstairs right now, go ahead and sit in the parlour and I'll let her know your here once she's done. Anything to drink while you wait?" Tara just shook her head and smiled. The only thought running through Tara's mind was, I fucking knew it, I'm going to kill the whore. Running up the stairs, she kicked the door in with her boots only to find her husband being ridden by the skank. "What the fuck" she screamed drawing attention to herself. Both Collette and Jax looked at her with surprise on their faces. "Couldn't keep your dick in your pants could you dear husband?" Tara snarled out with an ugly look on her faec.
Tara ran forward snatching Collette up by her hair and throwing punches into her face wherever she could find purchase. Collette started screaming and fighting back somehow flipping herself on top of Tara and trading blow for blow. All Tara could think was to try and protect her stomach. Jax finally rushed over grabbing Collette off his wife, while Collette was kicking Tara like a screeching hellcat. This left time for Tara to stand up and rush forward throwing her fist backwards across Collette's face effectively smashing her nose. The sickening crunch heard throughout the room along with the blood curdling scream proved that her nose was offically broken. Jax dropped Collette on the floor in a heap, to go grab his wife to stop her from doing anymore damage. "Knock it off, Tara." Jax yelled reaching for her, before he knew it he had a gun pointed to his face. "Back the fuck up before, I splatter your brains all over the fucking wall Jaxon Teller." Tara screamed out. "You pretend to love me, marry me, and all you do is fucking cheat... Everything is so fucking dsyfunctional.. You wonder why I tried to run. Because I can't take the bullshit anymore. You don't love me, and I don't think you ever did Jaxon Teller." She's still pointing the gun at him as she storms out of the room with Jax yelling, " I'm never going to let you take my boys over my dead body Tara. It'll be the last thing you do, if you think your getting away from me."
Shakily she put the car in gear and slide the glock back into her purse, and pulls out of the drive to go back to charming. The tears can't help but flow at this point. She knows that Jax is going to make sure she never leaves with the boys, or is even alone with them. At his point she's not even sure what to do. If she tired to run, they'd surely kill her. Her heart now broke, she could only think there was only one option left. But first she had to see her boys. "Mommy loves you, Abel and Thomas." Tara said as she cradled her sons in her arms. "Remember, Abel, Tommy needs you to teach him and protect him." Tara's eyes were watered up at these thoughts. She laid them back down for their nap after feeling like she had loved on them as much as she could. "Do you mind watching them until Jax picks them up?" "Sure, Is everything all right Tar, your eyes are all watery and where you going?" Unser asked. "Nowhere, absolutely nowhere," she said as she walked away wiping her face.
Tara walked into the house she used to call a happy home, but wasn't that any longer. This would be the last time she'd ever see any of this. There was no way out, no other choices for her. She wandered through the house looking through the kid's rooms. The last room down the hall was the room that she shared with someone whom she loved, but obviously didn't love her back. Her heart shattering into a million tiny pieces, she picked up a pen and pad of paper. Than began to write a few tiny notes, not that any of them would matter. Wandering down the hall slowing stripping, taking off her button shirt, than bra, dropping the pieces of clothing piece by piece in a trail down the hallway. She opened the bathroom door, to start the bathtub. Once the tub was filled, Tara climbed in and sank in, water splashing out everywhere. Grabbing the razor, Tara glided it up her wrist and arm, applying enough pressure to separate the flesh down to the veins. Her eyes watered and she softly began to cry. Flipping the razor to the other side, she shakily repeated her previous action. The feeling wasn't euphoric like she had thought it would be, but a part of her felt like she was flying free. Her body snuck further into the water. Her last conscious thoughts were of her babies.. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough for you.
JAX POV
"The boys still there?" Jax had called Gemma to ask. "Ya, Tara stopped by, spoke all sorts of crazy shit, than up n left," was his mom's reply. Pulling in front of his house he could see Tara's suv parked in their driveway. Opening the front door he yelled out," Tara, where the hell are you?!" He looked down the hall seeing her clothing strewn out all over the place. Jax was now seeing red and pulled his gun out from the back of his pantss. She's fucking some guy. Are you fucking kidding me? He kicked in the bedroom door even though it wasn't locked and found it to be empty. Hearing the squish beneath his feet, he looked down only to see the carpet outside the bathroom was soaked and had a funky tinge to it, along with the water sopping out from underneath the door. Turning the knob and seeing the floor flooded with red water kicked him into high-gear. Tara's bloody wrist was hanging outside the side of the tub. "Oh god, Tara wake up," Jax yelled, tapping her face with his hands. She was barely breathing, "Wake up please, Tara, why would you do this?" He pulled out his phone and dialed 911. Her face had taken on an ashen gray color. Never in his life had be so scared. Grabbing two towels, he wrapped them around her wrists in hopes to stop the bleeding as much as possible. The tears started to blur his vision. "Please don't die, Tara. I love you. I'm so sorry. I know I've made promises I didn't keep and that I've done so many wrong things... Those other woman never meant a thing, I ..." he cried out.
The sirens blaring in the background had signaled that the ambulance had finally pulled up out front and the medics came rushing in with the board. They calmly had Jax move from the room, so they could set up and do what they needed to do to save Tara's life, they didn't want to think what would happen if they couldn't save her. Jax called Gemma to let her know what happened and that he was following behind the ambulance. "Shit, Jax, what'd you do?" was Gemma's response before he hung up the phone. She'd let the MC know what was going on. It was no surprise to Jax to see Chibs and the rest of the MC already waiting at the hospital for them. The surprise came in the form of a swift punch to the nose from Opie though. "What the fuck did you do to Tara, Jackson?" he growled out. He had been gone in jail for the last few months, so he had missed out on all the drama unfolding from the outside, only to get out and hear what was going on from Donna. Jax held his nose in pain," I didn't do anything to her, I found her that way." "If she lives and tells me otherwise I'll kill you myself Jax," Opie shoved past him down the hall.
The stretcher came flying down the hallways of where Tara so happened to work, passing by Mary Margaret at the most inopportune time. Margaret's face took on an ashen white when she realized it was Tara on the stretcher. The medics currently were telling the on duty surgeon the details of how she was found along with her current stats. The surgeon put his hang out letting Jax know he wasn't welcome past the doors into the OR.
General POV
It had seemed like hours before the doctor came out to speak to Jax. He had been pacing the waiting room, not saying a peep to any of the guys and them just giving him a light pat on the back to assure him they were there if needed. Jax was so stressed, how did the situation get this far. The doctor came out from the doors of the OR and pulled him aside, pulling his mask down off his face. The blood all over him was a staggering amount that made Jax's heart palpitate harder. "I'm Dr. Gerandy and if you'd like to talk," he gesture to an empty area away from the MC. They made him nervous, and he was sweating bullets, so to speak. Everyone in the hospital knew Tara was married to this man who happened to be the President of said club. Chibs stood to follow them, but Jax's hand gesture told him he was fine. "What's going on? Is Tara alive?" Jax started off with the questioning. "Well for starters, when she slit her wrists on the right side, she knicked a major artery that needed repair. The left was not as deep probably from the blood loss and her possibly passing out. We repaired that side as well and gave her stitches. Her wrists are wrapped. She needed blood as too, so we performed a transfusion, she just lost too much and is currently still under the effects of the anthestia. We aren't sure when she will even come to. Maybe in the next 24-48 hours. The only problem we encountered amongst this is that your daughter might not be strong enough after this trauma, so your wife might not make it to term and as the baby is only 20 weeks, there's not much we can do yet." Jax stared at the doctor in confusion, jaw dropped. "Baby... daughter..." he whispered.
Dr. Gerandy's face could only fall at this discovery. Dr. Knowles had never told him about her pregnancy. "You didn't know. I'm sorry." was the only words the doctor could offer him in comfort. "I have a few other patients I need to check on. I will have a nurse left you know when you can go back to see her, if you want." All Jax could do was shake the doctors hand and go sit down in a chair, face buried into his hands. It was this moment Gemma came into the waiting room and seeing Jax with his face in his hands that the worst had happened. She ran over to him pulling him into her arms,"Oh my baby boy." At hearing this the rest of the club came over surrounding him, starting to give their condolences. "Shut the fuck up, Tara's not dead or dying." he spit out. The look of relief could be seen on a few faces especially Opie standing behind everyone. "Tara tried to kill herself.". A few gasps were heard from the prospects who weren't yet accustomed to all the death. "But she is pregnant.. They don't know if the baby will make it because of all the traua from Tara loosing so much blood." Jax stated teary eyed. "Oh, that little bitch tried to kill my grandbaby" Gemmas said face twisted in anger, fists turning white from being clenched tightly. "Don't fucking say that shit!" Jax's angry response was loud in the lobby. "Jackie boy, ya need to calm yourself down,"Chibs said while putting his hand on Jax's shoulder.
"You fucking knew something was up didn't you Op?" Jax's hard eyes stared through the group to his supposed best friend. "Ya, I knew Tara was pregnant, she visited me a few times, told me what the fuck was going on. I told her I wasn't gonna say a damn word. Why the fuck should I? I told you when we were all growing up, not to fucking hurt her. And what do you do constantly Jax, just that hurt her. That girl gave up everything for you, and you just rub it back in her face." Opie calmly stated while turning to walk away. Jax knew in a way Opie was right, he just didn't expect him to take his wife's side. They did all grow up together, he knew Tara had a shitty life and moved away for that reason. He just wasn't strong enough to let her go again when she came back. He turned to his mom, " I can't help, but be so angry, he knew she was pregnant... She's 20 weeks pregnant. She hid this from me for four fucking months." "Argh, I'm just so ," Jax tried to get out before yanking at his hair roughly.
A nurse gently put her hand on Jax's arm," You can go into her room now if you want, Mr. Teller. " Happy, Tig, I want y'all outside the door tonight. I'm gonna go let the boys know mommy's sick, and not coming home. And to tuck them in. Mom, you okay to stay the night with them?" "Of course, I'll watch em." Gemma's reply was. The hospital seemed to quiet down and everyone both patients and doctors alike started to finally relax.
Tara's/Jax's/General Pov
My eyes were so heavy. I couldn't seem to open them. The air around me smelled so sterile like a hospital. Was I dead? I thought I was. My last moments had been spent thinking of the boys that I loved and hoping for the best for them. Ack, I started gagging, I felt like someone was choking me. "Mrs. Teller, calm down please! You've been out for quite some time. I have to pull the tubes from your throat." a nurse tried to say. Tara finally was able to open her eyes and could she had lived and was currently sitting in a room at the hospital she was working at. Tears welled up in her eyes, it had taken everything from her to do what she did and here she was still alive. Hand flying to the slight bump she had kept hidden for the last few months, " The baby is fine right now, Mrs. Teller. We've been monitoring her while you've been out. She's a fighter," the nurse said while smiling. "I'll be back in a little while to bring you some water and to check your stats. Do you need anything?" "Please just call me Ms. Knowles," Tara added. The nurse just nodded with a tight lipped smile before walking out of the door.
"Ms. Knowles, huh?" Jax asked. Tara's heart monitor started to beep crazily and she was ready to have a heart attack hearing his voice. Eyes flinging open and looking over at her so called husband she replied curtly with, Yes Ms. Knowles. "Really, Tara, you'd kill yourself over this shit? Do you really hate me that much?" Jax eyes looked down at the floor glistening. She didn't know how to reply to that, so she just turned her head to look at the door, hoping for a reprieve. She didn't want to talk to him about anything. Just wished he'd disappear. Her heart was aching.