"Eren, do you feel better?"
Mikasa's voice made Eren open his eyes. He wasn't asleep, just resting after a grueling fight against the Female Titan. A fight that wasn't worth it at all. Now he was there on that bed, with bandages on his head and his friends taking care of him. Jean had his back against the wall, looking frustrated. Armin stood in the middle of the room, and Mikasa sat on a stool nearby Eren's bed.
"Yes", he answered, after getting up. The breeze came in through the window causing the curtains to move. "It's amazing how quickly I've recovered... I was told Annie is still crystallized..."
"Yes". Mikasa nodded, her gaze on the floor.
"Shit, in the end our plan wasn't worth it". Jean complained, notoriously angry and his arms crossed against his chest.
"It's amazing how far she came so she wouldn't have to confess a single thing". Armin said.
"Yeah. In the end she got away with it."
"It was Eren who let her escape."
Eren opened his eyes at his best friend's words, as if he hadn't been aware of it until then. Meanwhile, Mikasa could do nothing more than increase her sadness, and it was on her face, but no one noticed.
"Is not that so, Eren?" Armin continued, almost accusingly. "At that moment you hesitated."
"Yes, Armin. You're right ... I couldn't do it. Seeing Annie's face, I froze.
No one said a thing about it, though Jean seemed a little surprised.
Mikasa...
Mikasa didn't want to think too much about that possibility, but she couldn't help it.
Don't tell me you're not sure you want to fight Annie ...
Don't tell me you refuse to accept that Annie is the Female Titan ...
Didn't you see what happened just now? That bastard killed our comrades. Don't you see?
What she told Eren in the underground tunnel was spinning again and again inside her head.
You know. Annie is the female titan.
Why don't you fight her?
Is it that there's some special sort of feeling preventing you from doing so?
"Armin Arlert. Jean Kirschtein. It's time for your questioning." The voice of the Military Police member who came to find them removed Mikasa from her thoughts.
"Yes, sir". Armin replied, turning to the soldier before looking back to his friends. "See you later". He said, walking to the door, Jean following him.
"Yeah." Eren answered from his place on the bed.
"Mikasa, you should come too." Jean said before leaving, in a sullen voice tone. She didn't look at him.
"No, I ... I'll stay."
The MP soldier waved his hand, leting them know that they must leave. And while Jean looked annoyed at Mikasa's response, Armin turned back to her, an accomplice grin on his lips that made her blush from head to toe.
Neither she nor Eren realized the moment his friend closed the door on his way out.
"At that moment ... I felt good."
Although Eren wasn't aware of it, he had been waiting for the moment to talk just to Mikasa alone. He wanted to vent, and he knew she would understand him better than anyone.
When she heard him, her face lifted up, and her eyes locked on him, a little fearful, while Eren continued talking.
"It even felt good to get all beat up... I thought I wouldn't even mind dying ..."
"Eren!" she cried angrily. Eren seemed to realize how much he had hurt her by saying that.
"That isn't how I feel now."
Mikasa swallowed, trying to undo the knot made inside her throat. Then she leaned forward and took Eren's hand in hers.
"I'm glad … that you came back."
He couldn't see the tears in the girl's eyes when her hair fell on her face the moment she leaned her head down. But he couldn't stop staring at her, confused and nostalgic. Many things passed through his mind at that moment: the night he saved her from the kidnappers, the day she decided to follow him to death even against his will ... Eren couldn't stop thinking how was it that she was still beside him, after how he treated her, just because he was frustrated because he couldn't protect her.
Yes, he treated her like shit, and she was still with him, taking him by the hand and telling him she was glad to have him back.
How come she didn't hate him yet? How come she never wanted to leave his side? He didn't deserve her, she was too good for him...
And yet, he didn't want her to leave his side. Never.
"Eat". Mikasa said a while later. She stood up to take a tray of food and put it on Eren's legs, preventing him from getting up. He did it without protesting, he was hungry and tired, and he didn't want to argue with her.
Not after the way he felt Mikasa's warm hands on his.
"And you, won't you eat as well?"
The girl shaked her head.
"I did it already, before I came here. Now eat and rest. You need it."
Eren ate, and he started to fall asleep. And he dreamed of that day when his mother scolded him for fighting with other boys, reminding him that he must be a man and protect Mikasa.
When the dream was over, he opened his eyes. He didn't know how much it took, but sunlight was still coming through the window.
Eren got up of bed and saw she was still there, sitting next to him, with the scarf on her legs and a box of needles and thread beside her.
That damn thing. Why didn't she throw it away? It was already old, almost unusable, but she did her best to keep it. Maybe Mikasa was always cold and that's why she needed the damn scarf.
His eyes were back on her. She was asleep and the red fabric began to slip from her hands. Eren's turquoise eyes fixed on the girl's face carefully ... She was beautiful. How come he had never noticed it? Well, maybe he did, but it was the first time he'd stopped to think about it. He always liked that strand of hair that fell between her eyes that always came back to that place, no matter how much she took it away.
The wind came back through the window and Eren got up to peer outside. Stohess' headquarters were quite far from the center, where Annie and he destroyed everything during the fight. All he could see were high building and clean and beautiful streets, until the scarf fell from Mikasa's hands, catching his attention. He picked it up from the floor, and when she opened her eyes and looked back, the fabric was already resting in Eren's hands.
"Er ... that ..." she said in a low voice. He reached out to hand her the scarf.
"It fell. You gotta be tired, go get some sleep."
With the fabric now in her hands and her eyes on it, Mikasa slightly shook her head.
"I'm sorry ... I'm fine."
Eren sighed. He must have guessed she wouldn't listen to him.
"That thing's seen better days. I'll get you a new one if I see any in our supplies."
She said nothing, but inside, she wished Eren understood at last that the scarf wasn't just a piece of cloth.
He stared at her, wondering what she was thinking.
Then he walked back to the bed, still looking at her. It was magnetic, as if something prevented him taking his eyes off from the face and hair of that girl who had always been by his side.
"Gimme a hand with this." He asked, reaching his hands to his head to remove the bandages. Mikasa was quick to do so, but she didn't make a single noise as she unrolled the pieces of linen from his head. "Are you sure you don't want to go to sleep?"
"I'm sure." she replied. "Are you feeling better already?"
"Yeah. I wouldn't have taken this off if I hadn't."
Mikasa's fingers were incredibly soft, despite the calluses of the 3DMG. It send chills throught his spine when the girl's hands brushed his cheek, and he grabbed her wrist instinctively.
"Is something wrong?" she asked, a little confused. He shook his head, not letting her go. The way her friend looked at her made her flush again. But she decided to avoid the feeling, or he would notice.
She had to learn how to control herself. It wasn't right to feel these things, it wasn't fair to extend this torture, knowing that Eren would never feel the same way about her. She had to find a way to let go of what she felt for him, and everything would be so much easier.
"It is just that..."
"What? Is there something you want to tell me, Eren?"
Eren's hand reached up to touch the tip of her hair, just at the end of her neck. Ah, Mikasa felt an electric shock run through her body, from belly to nape. She had to make an effort so her breath won't get caught inside her throat.
"Why don't you let it grow again? I like it that way, but ... I liked it more when it was long."
It was just her, or was Eren's face closer to hers now?
"Long ag- " Mikasa cleared her throat so she could continue. - Long ago you told me that it was better to cut it, because it could get entangled with the maneuver gear ..."
"It's true, but ... Now you have a good command of it. There is no longer any need to keep it short."
The bandages were removed from his head completely, and Eren's eyes got down to Mikasa's neck.
And his fingers no longer touched her hair, but the skin that the girl's shirt couldn't cover.
She remained unmoving and her breathing started to run faster. That wasn't his current behavior. What was happening to him? Why did he play it like that? Why did he have to make it harder for her?
And their faces were so close now that they could feel the breath on each other's face, and the warmth of their bodies, and ...
A fleeting kiss on the lips made Eren lower his hand, completely stunned. He didn't expect it; he didn't expect her to kiss him. But he had liked it, and he blinked several times, stunned, and also delighted.
By the time he could react, Mikasa's hand was already gripping the doorknob, ready to go.
"Mikasa ..."
She opened the door. He jumped up to her and closed it again, preventing her from leaving. And she grabbed the handle again, and Eren shook her so she wouldn't try it again.
"Oi, Mikasa! Look at me!
"I- I am sorry. I shouldn't have …" Her voice choked and she couldn't look at him.
"What? What do you mean? You shouldn't kiss me? Why not?" Eren spoke in a loud, almost demanding voice. Mikasa swallowed.
"Because ... I don't ... You don't ..."
He didn't let her finish. His mouth slammed hers, making Mikasa gasp, and tears flowing from her eyes. Eren felt the wetness and saltiness of her lips as tears came down to their kiss, and he broke it so he could look at her, holding her face subtly. Mikasa's cheeks looked like embers because of her blush, and her beautiful gray eyes stared at the floor, completely moistened.
"Why are you crying?" He asked.
"Because..."
As before, he didn't let her finish either. Eren seemed desperate, but this desperation wasn't like the others, no. He was not distressed nor worried, but rather anxious. Yes. Anxious, excited because he couldn't stop kissing her, because her lips were soft and sweet and he never thought he would ever touch them and be enraptured in them until that moment. Because humanity's second strongest, the girl who had always protected him against his will, looked so vulnerable now that it made him arouse. And this blatant arousal began to awake like a volcano after its centennial sleeping.
She was crying, but he knew it was neither sadness nor pain. He knew her well. The tears in his kiss that he touched with his lips were tears of happiness, because the way Mikasa responded told him that he wasn't the only one who wanted more.
And with a tenderness that he didn't know he had in himself, he lifted her in his arms to carry her to bed. Their breaths ran faster, and Eren watched in fascination the steady motion in Mikasa's chest, making him to notice the breast beneath the shirt she wore. Mikasa couldn't believe it yet: Eren, the boy she'd been in love with long before she knew what love was, had just kissed her, and he was staring at her, spellbound, as if he couldn't believe either what was in front of his eyes.
Neither of them could speak. They only stared at each other's eyes, rather timid, expectant, surprised, amazed, but also anxious. Yes, there was anxiety in that boy's turquoise eyes, and a bubbling desire that seemed to have been contained for a long time.
It didn't take long before Eren's mouth was again in the girl's, biting her lips softly, and asking her lips to open to stick his tongue inside hers. He tasted again a couple more of tears before sliding down her face until reaching her neck. His hands tightened on her hips, and without being aware of it, he pushed the girl's legs apart to adjust to her body.
And it pulled out a groan from Mikasa's lips, a groan close to his ear that soaked right through his bones, making him to notice a hardness between his thighs that he had never felt before.
"Eren ..." she gasped, her hands clasped in the boy's shirt. She was starting to feel something new: the invasion of a scorching fire that flooded her entrails and extended to her womb. Eren's lips returned to hers, and by the time she wanted to say something else, his hand slid down to the button of her trousers, causing her to quiver with excitement.
Oh God.
When Eren put his hand between Mikasa's thighs, he never imagined that he would find that warm and wet universe. He didn't know how, he had no experience of it because it was the first time he touched a woman, but his fingers reached incredibly soft that glorious point of hers that almost made her growl, hardening him madly. All he could hear now was the snap of her lips as they touched his, and the exciting gasps coming from her mouth; everything his eyes could saw was that exaggerated blush on the girl beneath him, and the stunning face contorting at the pleasure of his touch.
He would never guessed it; God, he had been so blind all these years, he had been so stupid that he couldn't see what was in front of him: Mikasa, the girl who saved him more than once, the one who grew up with him, who protected him by risking her own life ... And now she was completely at his mercy, biting her lower lip and moaning under the contact of their burning bodies. The one who suddenly was no longer the scared nine-year-old girl he wrapped a scarf around, but the woman ...
The woman he didn't know he loved until that day.
"Eren ..." she repeated in a groan as his hand came out of her inner thigh. In an unexpected and involuntary motion, Eren looked at his wet fingers and took them to his mouth, tasting the newly-discovered divine flavor of the girl's wetness. It was a mixture of heaven and Mikasa, of glory and desire, that only increased his desire of her. So he undressed her, making a great effort not to lose his control as he discovered her smooth, pale skin and fearful body.
Mikasa covered her breasts as he removed her bra. But Eren did with his hands as he had done with her clothes: push them aside, and thus, admire the magnificence of the girl beneath him.
"Mikasa, how is that ..."
He stopped. Those thin lips of hers were so tempting that he wanted to devour them in one kiss. She was completely naked now, completely vulnerable, both for the first time and in front of him, as something became bigger and harder inside his pants, letting him know he could not contain himself any longer, not with the way his name was letting out from her mouth. She wasn't worried or scared, no; this time there was desire, longing, longing for him in every one of her groans. His shirt and trousers fell to the floor as he kissed her, and then he could feel the warmth of that body in his own.
Mikasa sobbed and sighed as Eren's sex brushed hers. Her face was still flushed, her heart running, and a slight fear still ran all over her spine ... But this was what she wanted, what she had always wanted, despite not knowing what it was. Because her skin bristled under his touch; because his lips were the entrance to heaven, and she couldn't stop staring at those turquoise eyes that wanted to devour her completely.
And despite how cold Mikasa's hands were, Eren could feel the softness of them beneath his touch as she reached his neck gently. She held him between choked gasps. He kissed the skin on her shoulders again, and her breasts, and every corner of her skin, before he went inside her.
"Eren, what I told you in the underground about Annie ..."
Mikasa stopped, sighing. She barely could think clearly because of him. Shit, she screwed it up. How could she talk about Annie in such a moment?
Eren shook his head, kissing her again, locking his gaze with hers.
"Mikasa, I dont give a fuck about Annie. You're the one that I want."
He ended his words with another kiss, and Mikasa felt, in the middle of it, how something ripped apart inside her. Eren took over her womanhood with an unexpected firmness that made her stifle a scream and contort her face at the sudden pain, while Eren let out a liberating gasp. Eren's face came out of her neck to look at her, knowing he'd hurt her. However, he had to make a superhuman effort to control himself and be careful, instead of ravaging her outright, with all his strenght, just as he wanted to do. Because he never imagined that between her legs was the paradise that drove him crazy with pleasure. He couldn't believe it: Mikasa Ackerman, the girl who was worth a hundred soldiers, the best soldier in the 104 trainee squad, was now completely surrendered to him, devoid of all her strength and abilities, so powerless that he felt guilty.
And at the same time it made him feel a sick pleasure, but also wanting to kiss her again.
"Calm down … I'm with you." he whispered into her ear, feeling her tremble slightly beneath him. And then he slid his mouth over her cheek, and she pressed against him, as if that could reduce the pain she never imagined she would feel, shutting her eyes as he pushed himself deeper.
"Eren ..." she moaned. Oh, when he heard his name come out of her mouth that way, he knew he was about to lose his mind. Eren grunted, swallowed, and moved against her slower, perhaps to calm himself as well.
"Don't you trust me? Everything will be fine." he affirmed, and he saw her nod, and had to bite her lips to know that this was real ...
Agh. Nothing compared to that moment; nothing. Winning a battle couldn't compare; fighting Annie wasn't enough; shifting into his titan form and experiencing those sensations through his body wasn't enough. No. Eren felt an electric shock running inside his muscles like something unstoppable that reached his entrails, as something mystical that made him die and reborn at the same time and couldn't contain any longer. He simply couldn't, because her moans, her fingernails digging into his back, her soft, sweet lips and the tightness and warmth inside her detached him from the world until making him feel in another galaxy.
She was beautiful, and delicate. Yes, and he didn't understand how she stopped being strong and perfect to become the vulnerable and imperfect being he always wanted to protect.
And another tear fell from her gray eyes, and he took it with his lips again.
And she squeezed him so hard that he thought he would suffocate, but it only increased his desire for her. And he didn't know when he started to move a little faster, almost carelessly at the sobs of the girl he was burying himself within.
And on one hand, Mikasa wanted him to stop, but the other ... No. The pain inside her was a delightful torture, and she liked the burning way Eren squeezed her thighs, as if he wanted to rip out her skin. She could taste his body, she could smell his sweat and she would never get tired of it; she could taste his mouth and the blood in hers when he bit her lower lip mercilessly. She herself had been amazed at how much she had wished to have that hardness inside her, even without being conscious; and when Eren kissed her again, she didn't hesitate to react with intensity, even though she hadn't yet fully recovered from those thrusts. Though she knew he didn't want to harm her, and so she sorrounded his waist with her legs, as if she knew instinctively that only then she could stop the burning of the first time.
"Ahh ... Mikasa ..."
His voice was hoarse, and even deeper than before. No no no. Shit, he didn't want it that way. Something was about to come out of him, and the idea was as tempting as purifying, but it wasn't fair to her, as long as she couldn't feel the same pleasure as him. However, he could do nothing to stop that strange and outrageously delightful thing that got out of him. His heart quickened even more, his lungs contracting as he felt his oxygen drain, his pupils expanding, and his mind going white. It felt like molten metal after an explosion ...
And yes, he melted with her. And he didn't know if he had a whole universe inside, or if he himself become the universe.
If this wasn't heaven then he didn't know what it could be.
But he didn't come out of her, because staying there was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to him. In that life of theirs full of pain, loss and fear ...
Fear of losing her. Godammit, now he knew he couldn't lose her.
And Mikasa felt a little disappointed when Eren sank down on top of her and buried his face in her neck. Because the pain was starting to disappear, and now she felt something she liked more than anything else.
An intense tingling where Eren had touched her, and a huge desire of being ripped apart. Again.
But she didn't let him go, because she knew he hadn't finished yet. And neither of them said a single thing, not that they had to, because after all these years, they know each other so perfectly that a single glance was enough. He turned to look at her and kiss her, and a couple of minutes later, his hips moved back into hers, as if he had guessed her thoughts.
And she moaned again, and this time it was a mixture of pain and pleasure, while her body tensed and arched his back, with Eren crashing against her, perhaps with more harshness than before.
"E-Eren ... Ahhh ... Please ..."
When Mikasa gasped, a very remote part of Eren's brain wondered if that bed would be able to handle all that. He was no longer in control. He didn't mind the noise of the wood, or the volume of his own groans, or hers. Waves and waves of heat and pleasure came and went endlessly, and the girl's inner walls tightened around him, as if sucking him, and that only caused him to increase his onslaughts. And Mikasa's fingernails dug into his back, wounding his skin, and it was for a while longer, until she could feel herself reaching the peak of a pleasure that surpassed all understanding.
What was all that? All these electric sparks taking over her thighs were almost giving her visual hallucinations. What was it that quickened her breathing and numbed her muscles? Ah, that much ecstasy couldn't be true; it felt as if reading a book full of colors, or better, like climbing to the sky and grabbing each one of the constellations with her own hands ... Then it came, that heavenly and purifying feeling. It was like throwing herself from a very high slope without the 3DMG, while each one of her nerves woke up one by one, and yet they were only able to perceive the sublimity of the fall, knowing that a bed of clouds would wait for her to succumb. She left her body, and time and space left her; reducing her self in that unique and sublime moment. Something extended inside her and then exploded, making her choke a moan, as a final scene. And she breathed, tired, satisfied, feeling strange, happy, confused, and a little guilty, but also glorified, just like the martyrs.
And then she regretted having ever thought that she could never taste happiness again as she did right now.
Yes. Now she knew how children were made. She had just learned it firsthand, and the thought made her blush, while a corner of her brain wondered what her father would have said if he knew what she was doing now.
But she wouldn't change her place at that moment for a single thing. Eren either. If both of them had to decide between killing all titans and this ... Well, it wouldn't take too much time for them to choose each other.
Eren's second wave of pleasure came and mixed with hers, and then he stopped to look at her again, even tired as he was. His hand reached her face, and his fingers brushed the scar on her right cheek, after moving the strand of hair off between her eyes. He stared at her hair and kissed her there, and also smelled it. Then her eyes, and her skin, that sweet and soft and pale skin, after making love to her as sweetly as he could. She tasted like pain, tears and fear, but she also tasted like hope, like his willing to live, and he could see him right through those gray eyes of hers, those eyes locked with his fiercely.
"Eren, I lo-"
He hushed her with a kiss.
"I know. Sorry if I overdid, but ..."
This time it was her who shut him up.
"I know it too."
Another kiss came, making them feel sure they would never get tired of it. A kiss sweeter than the previous one, that made Mikasa moan again against his mouth. He stepped out of her and settled down next to her, stretching his arm to hug her as strong as he could.
"Smile for me, Mikasa. That's all I ask for."
And she did it, her eyes filled with tears. And Eren's heart skipped a beat, knowing he was the winner of that prize; because it was the first time he saw her smiling that way, and he knew that was all he needed to live from now on.
And he hugged her as never before, and Mikasa wanted to stay there forever, with nothing to disturb the peace she had wanted for so long.
"Eren! Mikasa! The Titans are inside the Wall Rose!" Armin shouted after slamming the door. Eren jumped out of bed, nearly suffering a heart attack. And he knew right afterward that he wasn't the only one.