Hi guys! This is just a short one-shot. Hope you enjoy! Advance thank you for reading my story. :)
People says that if you really love a person let her/him go. Some says fight for her/him don't let go.
But what was is it really. I was in a relationship with the person that i dreamed of, the person that i love, the person that i want to be with, the person that I say "I cannot live without". We were so happy, we had so much fun together, we explore the world, we tried everything together, new fastfood, new mall, new beach almost everything. We had late phone calls even though we have to get up early in the morning. Its okay coz we talked to eachother, we had crazy time even though that means we'll have headache, big eyebags in the morning. We were so inlove to summarize all of this, we were so inlove.
I didn't know what happened, i didn't know when she fell out of love. Maybe because,
We argue so much, we fight over little things. We said hurtful words that we sometimes regret, sometimes we dont. We fight and fight until someone gave up. Then we'll make up like nothing happened. But still we know that we're not really okay. Then it happens over and over again. And that I knew that this relationship was going down hill.
We decided that it is better if we don't talk anymore. It is not really telling each other "Hey we're just going to fight so we better shut up and dont talk anymore". Well that's for me I guess, I just didn't wanna talk if we just going to have another fight again, coz I'm scared that if we fight it may be out of control and you'll decide to leave me completely. And i dont want to say hurtful things that I know that I will regret after. I love you so much. I love you too much that even though I was hurt I decided to stay.
You wanted to call it off but i begged you to stay. I don't know why you did, but you stayed and that is what's important to me. Then you cheated, I asked you why, but you didn't answer, you just say sorry and cried. I hate seeing you cry that's why I let it go that maybe you won't do it again. I hugged you and told you it was okay and let just put it behind. But deep inside I wanted to scream, I wanted to throw stuff, i wanted to punch someone's face, i wanted to cry so hard. I was in so much pain like I cannot breathe, it was so suffocating, like it is better to be hit by a truck than be in this situation. I love you. I love you that's all I know. My friends told me I was stupid, that I should have call it off, that she is no good for me. But I just ignore them. I told them "i love her and she still love me i know it is just a drunk affair". They just looked at me like Im the most stupid person in the world, maybe i am really was.
Then it happened again. And still I accepted her apology. Coz people say if you truly love her don't let her go or everybody deserve another chance. That's why that's what I did. I lost my pride. I love her too much that I forgot to love myself. I gave her everything, be there for her when she cries, bring her food when she's hungry, I did everything just to satisfy her needs. She was happy. Or I just thought she was.
Then my birthday came, we we're supposed to have lunch but she cancelled coz she told me she had a meeting. So my friends celebrated with me instead. And that's when I saw you with him again. I wanted to go to that jerk and punched him in the face but I was scared on which side your going stay so I just asked my friends to go to a different mall. My friends were always telling me. "Jeez you're so blind can't you see she doesn't love you anymore. She doesn't even remember your birthday." or "You should let her go." or "She's not worth of your love and time." They were telling me that like a hundred times but still, I didn't listen. I was so naive. I was so scared that if I lose her, I wont be able to be happy again. So even though I'm hurt I just set that aside, coz I'm happy when she's by my side.
Until that day came, and she broke up with me. She told me it doesn't work anymore. That she's not happy anymore. I wanted to ask her to stay but that would be just so selfish. So I just said okay. I was so hurt that day, but there is no one to blame but myself, I wanted this, i wanted this pain. This pain that is so unbearable, the pain that is too painful that you just wish to die instead. I wanted to understand, what did i do wrong. I wanted to hate her, I wanted to shout at her.
But I can't.
Why? Because even though she left me with another guy. I still love her. I'm still inlove with her. It's stupid I know. But what can I do. I just love her so much. That's why i decided to just let her go.
Love means sacrifice that's what I learned, Both of the saying were true but it depends on the situation. I love her so much, and if you love someone you always thought of their happiness right? I fought for her, I really did. coz I thought I was still making her happy. But when i saw her with that guy at the mall I realized that her happiness is now with him and not with me anymore. So when she asked me to call this off, I just said okay. I said okay not because, i don't love her anymore. I said okay coz I do love her and all I want for her is to be happy, even if this means that she'll have leave me.
I'll always love you Beca, always remember that. ~Chloe