High school was strange. It was a strange time, but a unique one, because you only have one high school experience. This four-year period of time has garnered so much attention that even TV shows center their whole plot around the high school dynamic. Why? Maybe it's because it's a critical point in our lives when we do a significant part of our growing up. We go through so many rapid changes in friendships, social circles, relationships, academic crises, and everything else in between. Our feelings seem more intensified. We can be extremely high with ecstasy one day and so depressed we want to bury ourselves in our own graves the next. Some days we're just indifferent and then we start to question ourselves. I questioned myself a lot during high school. Maybe more than I should have, but looking back, high school was full of these moments; some I couldn't shake. Like most high school stories, mine started with a boy. We met when I was just a girl in overalls, and he was a boy in turtlenecks, and we were one boy and one girl on a playground. At that time, all that mattered was who had the ball, and who was going to catch it. We're still playing a game, just a different one.
The boy's name was Farkle and we started off simply as that. Boy meets girl. We became fast friends up until middle school, and then suddenly, everything changed when high school came around. What started as friendship, became a ship that fell hard and quick. We didn't know it at the time, but those rough patches that were marked by cold shoulders, passive actions, and friends who had no choice but to choose sides were the beginning of what we would be. Back then, we loved each other but we were expressing it in an unconventional way. Unconventional because we just didn't know.
Months passed, and Farkle and I inevitably realized our misguided behavior. The truth was, we cared for each other more than we knew what to do with. We confessed and we grew closer because of it. Suddenly boy meets girl turned to boyfriend and girlfriend. Fridays became date nights at Farkle's where movies were watched, for the most part. Every school day was a chance to see each other. We were still friends but the feelings we had for each other increased ten-fold expressing themselves in a myriad of ways.
It was only a couple of months in my junior year when Farkle and I had been dating for a steady two years. While I may have been only 17 at the time, I remained naïve and innocent.
"Riley! What are you doing this Saturday?" Her closest friend Maya bounded up to her. She always had the kind of tousled blond hair that models took hours to achieve. She only needed to smack off her alarm clock and summon the motivation to get out of bed to do it.
"Farkle and I were –" I had started,
"- going with me and Lucas to a party." Maya finished. "I'm invited to Missy's birthday and she said anyone is invited, so you're coming with me."
I bit my lip in uncertainty. "But Farkle and I had made plans to go ice-skating." Maya rolled her eyes at me. Maya had known our origin story. In fact, she was part of it When Farkle and I were just friends, we were all friends together. It was us three. Always. When the initial shock died away, she treated our relationship as if nothing had changed. We were always her two friends Farkle and Riley.
"Dammit Riley. Just ditch him"
I smiled. "You know I can't 'just ditch him'. He's not an old backpack I can just toss aside. Why am I even saying this to you?"
Maya sighed, exasperated. "Well, if you must bring your old backpack because of your severe emotional attachment, then I guess you'll just have to bring him".
A small laugh escaped. "Nice try Maya, but you know Farkle. We don't usually party, especially him." We were walking down the halls of John Quincy High, our legs walking in sync. It was second nature to us at this point. Maybe it was because we were usually on the same wavelength. As we were heading towards my locker, I spotted a familiar lanky frame. It was draped with a hoodie and poking out of his beanie was a tuft of ashy blond hair. It was one of my favorite features about him. His little tuft of hair reminded me of a little bird. His blue eyes always seemed electrifying no matter the occasion, and she was lucky enough that those eyes were only on her.
"Hey Riles," He stepped away so I could open my locker.
"Ok Minkus, tell your girlfriend here, that you're going to Missy's party and have fun." It was my turn to roll my eyes. Farkle's eyebrows rose, giving me his "really?" look.
"Which part? The part where we engage in human contact in a social setting or the fun part?"
"I swear you two were born out of the same womb. Both stupid. It's simple math. You and Riley plus me and Lucas equals fun time at party." Before Farkle could protest Maya spoke, "I don't care what excuse you two dorks are coming up with. There will always be a bajillion coffee shops and ice-skating rinks and other lovey-dovey places in New York, but Missy will only be turning 18 once. And to commemorate this moment, there will also be booze, and I guarantee you that you will not find that in your average cup o' joe"
Farkle and I looked at each other and then at the fierce blonde that was our friend. At such a short height with such a limited amount of body mass, she was a master of persuasion or some would say a master of coercion depending on who you asked.
Farkle shrugged, "I've been meaning to try a new cup o' joe. Maybe what I've been missing is some Irish cream." Maya gave a wide tooth grin,
"Yes! Farkle! That's what I'm talking about." I, on the other hand, was not as ecstatic. Maya saw this and began to plead, her eyes melting. Her puppy-dog face should have belonged in one of those Sarah McLaughlin commercials. I rolled my eyes. She did this all the time, but then again, I would fall for it every time.
"Fine. I'll go." I capitulated.
I normally didn't go to parties because it was never my scene. Books, a hot cup of tea, and a fuzzy throw blanket was enough for me any day of the week, but Maya was like one of those animal conservationists who would coax me out of my cubby hole and out into the wild. Sometimes I really did need it though.
Missy's party was as stereotypical as it gets with high school parties, but a New York version. So the space was a packed apartment reeking of cheap Budweiser and weed. It was dark except the glow of some haphazard lamplights and strobe lights scattered around the place. Music was so loud you could practically see the walls vibrate, and there were more red solo cups than people. I had decided to wear a lacy one piece with a low backline paired with platform brogues that night, but not before throwing on a giant overcoat so my parents couldn't tell the difference. If not for Riley, Farkle would be wearing the same uniform of graphic tee with a side order of black skinny jeans, but she had suggested a black button down this time. It definitely made a difference.
They had taken their usual stance of occupying the space near the "punch" bowl, if you could call it that; it was usually a keg. In a sea ofjostling teenagers, she could spot Maya's wild mane from across the room. It was more tousled than usual but her aura was still as fierce as ever. Right behind her was Lucas. He was such a golden boy with his upright posture and quintessential quarterback build. It was a wonder to people how Lucas and Maya got together. Like Riley and Farkle, it was a long story, but if you had been a witness to their evolution, you wouldn't be able to see a more perfect pairing.
"You look good Riley." Lucas said. I stole a glance at Farkle, and I saw his jaw clench as his eyes darted away. It was always this way when Farkle got slightly jealous or peeved. We all had a very tangled relationship, despite our strong friendship. Farkle couldn't help but get jealous of Lucas, but just when it came to me. And I would cut a piece of satisfaction for myself every time. I smiled, "Thanks Lucas. You guys look great too."
"Awww! Thanks Riles. Now on to more pressing business! Let's dance!" She let out a whoop before grabbing Lucas's hand out on the dance floor. She motioned for me and Farkle to join. I hesitated but Farkle put down his drink and held out his hand.
"Come on Riley Matthews. Let's go make fools of ourselves." He had his dopey smile that no amount of growing up could wipe off his face.
They proceeded to do the cheesiest dancing in the whole party. Running man, the cabbage patch, the robot. If it was done in the 80's we did it too. That's what happened sometimes when we were together; we were just plain obnoxious about being absolute dorks.
"Ok," I breathed, hands on my hips, "I gotta go to the bathroom. Wait here." I went up the stairs to the second floor where I waited in a long line of girls. Some were crying others were just full on drunk.
"So…Mark and I…" The platinum blond in front of me scanned the area as if the coast was clear. Obviously it wasn't with Riley there, but she continued, "…we did it". Her friend let out a piercing squeal.
"Omigosh! Tiffany! That's sooooo great! How was it? How was..he?"
"He was..ugh..so good to me! He did this thing..with his tongue. Oh, it was the best night of my life Skye!" More tittering and squealing ensued. Riley shook her head, how could she let that happen? More importantly, how could they get any louder than the music?
The girl behind me was crying to her friend. "He is such an asshole. You don't deserve him babe. If he doesn't want to be with you because you won't put out, then that means he was never worth it to begin with." The girl forlornly nodded her head, a stream of black rolling down her cheeks. But I could tell that the words were only temporarily reassuring, and she continued to sob dropping her face in her hands.
Once she finally got to the bathroom in the midst of washing her hands she noticed some stray packets of condoms on the counter. I shook my head. How could people just throw away their virginity with some guy they would probably never see again? I couldn't fathom it. And they relied on a flimsy packet to protect them from its consequences. I shook my head at the thought.
After washing my hands, I realized that getting to the bathroom wasn't much of an issue. Really, it was getting out of the bathroom. The hallway was cramped with people, a good portion of which were tipsy couples trying to find dark corners to populate. Riley saw the birthday girl drag a boy down to her bedroom.
"You look like you ate a lemon," Farkle said when I returned. He wrapped his arm around me.
"Yea well, when there are hordes of girls complaining about their love lives, it does leave a sour taste in your mouth" I scoffed. Suddenly, the room seemed too loud, too dark, and just too crowded. I started to shift my weight under Farkle's arm. I was getting antsy, and it showed. Farkle saw my discomfort.
He leaned into my ear. "Hey, you wanna blow this popsicle stand and go get some hot chocolate?" At the mention of the world chocolate, I instantly perked up nodding furiously. Farkle chuckled at my glee.
We were in the middle of putting on our coats when I noticed that Maya and Lucas were deep into their dancing. They were staring intensely at each other as if they were the only two people who mattered in the room. I would have said bye, but I don't even think an earthquake could shake them apart.
"You ready?" Farkle called out. I took his hand and we left the party behind us.
At Topanga's, I took a deep sniff of the hot chocolately goodness. I opened my eyes and saw Farkle staring at me.
"What? Is there whipped cream on my face again?!" I groaned and began to wipe my mouth. Farkle just laughed.
"No. You're just…cute."
Even when he said such simple compliments I had to stifle my smiles. Instead I replied matter-of-factly. "I know. Why else would you be dating with me?"
"Just, don't ever change Riley." He was looking at me intently now. I had no idea where this was coming from but I began to feel another rush of heat rise in my cheeks. I took another sip of my cocoa
"I won't. I mean, why would I?" It seemed like an out-of-the-blue kind of question. It had only been 2 and half years and Riley still watched Mr. Googly on Thursday afternoons, not that anyone else but Farkle and Maya knew. Ultimately, change and I never seemed like good bedfellows.
Farkle leaned closer, "because then I can't do this." He took his thumb and wiped a surprising amount of whipped cream off the corner of my mouth.
"Oh," I mumbled. It was equal parts embarrassing and sweet. He was still close to me, and I could feel his breath. Suddenly the room began to dissipate and the space between us began to fall apart. All I could see was Farkle's eyes. Soon enough his lips had reached mine. No kind of cocoa could match the taste of Farkle's lips on hers. It was even more sweet and she always came back for more. When they parted, she felt the chill of its absence. My eyes fluttered open and he already had her coat in his hands.
"Come on, let's take you home." That night, we linked arms mostly in attempt to brace the wind chill. As he dropped me in front of my doorstep, I found myself clinging to his arms tighter not wanting him to leave just yet.
He gave me another kiss on the lips. It was brief and chaste as if the threshold was an altar, or maybe because the only thing between me and my sleeping parents was a thin piece of wood. "Good night Riley. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Good Night Farkle." I watched him turn the corner as I watched him do a thousand times before. I whispered as went, "Don't ever change either."