WARNINGS: Rated M for possible future blood/gore/dark themes/sexual themes.

PAIRINGS: RJ/SB, JP/LE

For all that is our life

We sing our thanks and praise

For all life is a gift

Which we are called to use

To build the common good

And makes our own days glad

-Singing the Living Tradition, #128

"For the record," Remus said in a cross whisper as he followed behind the other Marauders, "I think this is an awful idea and would advise you not to go through with it." The other three boys were hidden under the Invisibility Cloak, map spread between them so as to better see the whole castle. Being a good half a foot taller than James and Peter, Remus no longer fit under the Cloak. He even had an inch on Sirius, who'd previously always been the tallest of the group. He'd spent all of winter break researching Disillusionment Charms. He found once he returned to school that he was able to pull it off, too. With a relatively small number of tries, he was close enough to invisible to walk around in the dark.

"I second that." Peter agreed, voice slightly muffled under the Cloak.

"Don't care, you've already agreed!" Sirius said cheerfully.

There was the slapping sound of a mouth being covered with a hand. "Keep it down, idiot. We're almost to the passage." Remus wanted to object again, but he bit his lip. It was no good arguing out in the open like this. He stewed in silence.

It was only a few minutes until they reached the old and barely stable passage. The tunnel was the one they used most often to get to Hogsmeade, found behind a statue of a one-eyed witch. Not for the first time, Remus wondered about that. Who's idea had that been? Who really fancied crawling through a hag's arse?

Safe in the passage with Silencing Charms cast on the entrance, the Marauders were free to be as loud as they pleased. A clump of dirt hit Remus in the head and he shuddered. There had to be a better place to do such strong magic. What if the thing caved in, mid ritual? They'd have a hard time explaining their way out of that one. He'd barely finished the Charm when Sirius screamed from behind him.

Remus jumped so bad he dropped his wand. "What the hell was that about?" he commanded, whirling around. He felt around in the dark for his wand as his friends snickered.

"Sorry." Sirius said at a more reasonable volume. He didn't sound sorry at all. "I couldn't resist."

"I think you probably could have." replied Remus with a huff. He finally found his wand and muttered a 'Lumos'. "You could have brought this whole thing down on us." The faces of the other Marauders were dimly lit by the light of the wand, and none of them looked particularly concerned. Not even Peter, whom Remus had been counting on to stand against them with him. Why, he wasn't sure. Peter had never been the type to stand up.

James whipped out a large, dusty tomb from seemingly nowhere. Gently, for it was falling apart, he placed it on the ground. The entrance to the passage was narrow, but there was room enough for them to all sit around this old book. "Right then." James said, sitting and opening it. He flipped the pages carefully, searching for the correct spell. They all had it memorized, but Remus was glad he was double checking. It was probably the only intelligent thought James had had in this whole process. "Who's ready to begin?"

"Not me." Peter backed away as far as the tunnel walls would allow, which was about a single step. "This is a mistake."

Sirius and James both rolled their eyes. "He's right, you two." Remus admonished them. "Messing with the future, with time..." He shook his head as he stared at the two. "You're both purebloods. Weren't you raised on horror stories of wizards who messed with this sort of dangerous magic?"

Sirius shrugged. "I was never one for rules."

"Nor I." James agreed with a grin. He looked up at Remus with his best pleading eyes. Remus was unmoved. "Please, Moony?"

"No." He crossed his arms firmly.

Sirius stood from the spot he'd taken across from James. "Don't worry, I got this." He edged around Remus and wrapped his arms around him from behind. He nuzzled his face into his neck and pressed a light kiss just below his ear. Against his better judgement, Remus's body leaned back into his and his eyes fluttered closed. "Please, Moony?" he breathed, his voice a low whisper against his ear. Remus shivered.

"You can't." he maintained, but even he could hear the weakness in his voice. Damn him, he thought. He's going to break me.

Sirius continued with his whispering, tracing patterns on Remus's stomach with his fingertips. "If you don't help, we're bound to screw it up. Just imagine what could happen." Remus knew very well the sorts of horrors that could happen. Somehow, Sirius made possible death and dismemberment sound sexy. He found his arms coming up to enclose Sirius's.

This was probably the wort idea in the history of bad ideas. Even worse than the time that Sirius had suggested flooding the Slytherin commons and locking Severus Snape inside. Remus only managed to get them off that one when he pointed out they could be charged with attempted murder. It was ten times worse than the time James had suggested letting Moony out to roam the forest while transformed (Alright, that one had gone okay. The point, however, was that it could have gone terribly.).

Remus nodded.

Peter, whom he'd nearly forgotten was even there, gasped in betrayal. "B-But Moony!" he cried.

Sirius pressed a kiss to his ear and Remus could feel the grin in it. "Thanks, Rem." Remus shook his head and pushed him from him.

"That's all it takes?" James said in fascination. "No wonder you get away with so much. I've got to learn how to do that."

Remus had no doubts that he would do it, too. "Afterwards he has to make it up to me with a brilliant apology shag." He told James dryly. "I hope you're up for that, otherwise no deal."

James snorted as Remus sat around the book as well between the two boys. "I've got a few pranks in mind that nothing short of a shag would get you on board with." Sirius raised an eyebrow and looked between them.

"I'm not okay with you shagging my boyfriend. Not unless I'm in on it, too."

James pretended to think about that. "Done." he consented.

Peter finally joined them around the dusty tomb, shaking his head. "I need new friends." he muttered, plopping his slightly plump bottom down on the dirt floor.

"You aren't joining us?" Remus questioned, tone dead-pan. "Nothing you want from me?"

"Other than for you to keep you sex life to yourself, you mean?"

James snorted again. "Come off it, Wormtail." Sirius said. "We have to listen to you go on about your less-than-pure escapades with that Ravenclaw all the time."

Peter placed a hand over his heart. "I swear to never talk about Merideth again if you never talk about your threesomes again."

"Enough wasting time." James interrupted, checking his watch. "We've only got a few hours. Who knows how long this will take?" Peter looked as though he was going to object again. "Do you want a glimpse of your future or not?" James snapped.

"Not." Remus and Pete said together.

"Decidedly not." Peter reiterated.

"If you're giving us the choice."

"I wasn't." James pulled 4 thin vials out of his robes and handed one to each of them. Remus handled the glass vial carefully. The brewing of this potion had been long and torturous. Several times Remus had to excuse himself from class to run to the dorm and make the necessary changes. For him, that only meant stirring. He was notoriously awful at Potions. One of the other Marauders would handle things like ingredients.

That hadn't been easy, Remus knew. Half the things on the ingredients list were incredibly rare, and the other half he'd not heard of. Luckily Professor Slughorn had an affinity for owning things he shouldn't. One raid on his secret Potions stock had gotten them a good quarter of the things that they needed, and Sirius was able to pull connections to get another half. That left one-quarter, which was really only 4 or 5, to be tracked down. It had been expensive, but somehow they had managed it. They all had to be meticulously prepared as well. For a solid month, Remus was constantly being woken in the night by Sirius sliding out of bed to manage to potion or one person or another cursing as they worked. No one had enjoied it, but they'd all put a lot of work into it. No matter how much they complained, neither Remus nor Peter could very well back out now. Not after everything they'd done.

Remus swigged it down in a single gulp. He tried not to let it touch his tongue, but that didn't help. He felt as though the back of his throat was being set on fire. They all gagged for a moment, choking on the thick substance for a moment or two. Finally, the burning began to subside and the gasped for breath.

"Tastes like rotten fruit." Sirius complained.

They all joined hands and, as one, spoke the incantation. Remus felt very much as though he was performing a cult rite as the memorized Latin flowed from his tongue. Whether this had anything to do with the spellbook's title, Magical Occult Rituals, he couldn't say. Where had James even found this book anyways? He'd refused to tell them before. Probably because he stole it from his father's library, Remus thought with a mental roll of his eyes.

Refocusing, he noticed a small circle of purple light was slowly appearing before them. The circle then became a sphere, and the sphere pulsed with the magic of the four boys. Remus could feel his power flowing through the sphere, and the sphere giving him power as well. He simultaneously felt weak and strong. It began to grow in both size and brightness, until it was a mere inch from his nose and he had to squint. The light was glaring on the werewolf's heightened senses, but he fought to keep his eyes open and to keep chanting. Eye contact was essential to any spell, but to this one especially.

The pressure was building in his temples as they approached the end of the incantation. The second the uttered the last syllable, Remus felt himself being sucked into the purple orb. The sensation wasn't unlike a Pensive. The spell seemed to work like one, too. He found himself standing alone, none of the other Marauders anywhere to be seen. They must be in their own futures, Remus thought. The world around him had not quite taken shape. Vague images could be seen, but nothing solid was formed.

Colors swirled around him and faded into darker versions of themselves as they connected with each other, forming a picture. Remus looked around at the all too familiar place. He stood outside the Whomping Willow, the castle outlined against the bright night sky. It was a full moon tonight and the grounds were illuminated. Remus and the wolf flinched at the sight of the moon, instinctively expecting the pain that came with transformation. It took his mind a minute to remember that he wasn't really here. In the distance, a future him howled.

A voice, neither male nor female, echoed around him. "1975." it said, but it offered no more information. A shiver ran down his spine. That's this year, he thought. Whatever is coming, it's coming soon. Remus looked around to see if there really was someone here with him, but all he saw was a figure in the distance running towards him. It was too dark and far away to tell what or whom it was, but Remus knew somehow that they were from the scene.

He squinted through the dark, trying to make out the blurry face. With a jolt, he realized it was Snape. "What are you doing here?" he asked without thinking as he approached.

"Sirius Black will send him." came the whispering voice again.

Remus did not believe it. "Sirius? No, he's not that stupid. He knows..." but he could not finish the sentence.

"He knows what?" the voice questioned him.

"That I'd kill him." The words come out darker than he meant them too. He watches as Snape creeps around the tree, trying not to wake it up. Snape stares fearfully at the branches, barely daring to breathe. As they begin to stir, he darts forward and slams the knot that freezes it. He isn't quick enough though; a large branch wallops him in the head and knocks him to the side just before it ceases to move. Remus can't help a laugh despite the situation.

Snape doesn't move for a minute, seeming to review his options. "Why would he...?" Remus's voice trails off as he watches.

"Sirius Black will be drunk." The voice seems to know his thoughts, understanding his incomplete sentences. "He will want to punish Severus Snape for a rude remark."

A snort of laughter escaped Remus, but he didn't find any of it funny. Rather, he felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Sirius had developed a bit of a drinking problem, this he knew. He was getting better though; Remus hadn't seen him really drunk in a few months. He thought he was on the path to recovery. Obviously, he was wrong. The truth was bitter in his mouth and tears stung his eyes. He blinked them away rapidly as another person he hadn't even noticed ran past him at full speed.

Remus had been fully expecting to watch Snape die by his own hands. James's appearance feels like a miracle. Just as Snape seems to have made his final decision to dive into the tunnel, James is right behind him. Not quick enough, though. He hears Snape's screeches of terror and James's shouts of panicked spells beneath the ground. Remus doesn't see them reappear before the scene begins to melt away.

The colors that swirl around him are beautiful and enchanting, but Remus hardly notices. A panic takes hold of his heart. Did the scene change mean something awful had happened? Or did it mean that there was nothing left of consequence to show? Both could mean that James and Snape died down in that tunnel, that he had killed them. This was exactly the reason that he didn't want to do this. How was he supposed to look at Sirius now that he knew what was to pass in only a few short months? How was he supposed to hold him, kiss him, sleep next to him?

Tears still threatened to spill over. He wiped them away as the world began to solidify once more. This time the sun shone bright and hot. He stood in the clearing of a woods near a ramshackle little house that looked as though it had been in its prime about a hundred years ago. The boards were peeling off the side and there were few shingles to speak of still attached to the roof. To the right, however, a neat and flourishing vegetable garden was growing. The contrast was almost comical.

Inside, loud voices could be heard. Once sounded distinctly like James's. Remus walked towards the house and slipped in through the shack's door. "1978." the voice told him as he entered.

As with a Pensive, neither of the rooms current inhabitants noticed him enter. A slightly older looking, slightly taller James stood on one side of a table that matched the state of the house perfectly. On the other stood himself. His appearance jolted him. He was a good three or four inches taller than even the last scene, putting him comfortably around six and a half feet. This wasn't unusual for a werewolf, of course. Neither were the obvious marks of stress, although he wasn't pleased with them. His hair was streaked with more grey than any eighteen year old had any business having. His face held the early signs of wrinkles brought on by a face constantly screwed up with anxiety. He noticed a few new scars on his cheeks as well.

The future James was still shouting, frustration evident in his posture. "Stop being so bloody ridiculous, Remus!"

"I'm not the one being ridiculous!" he roared back. "If you would just leave me be-"

"How can I do that when I know how you're living?!" James through the cupboards open with a wave of his hand, the crack resounding through the shack. "Your house is falling down, you're barely feeding yourself, you nearly died the last moon, and I'm supposed to, what?" He put his hands on his hips. "Just be okay with all of this?"

"Yes!" the older Remus yelled, running a hand through hair that was too long as well as too grey. "Yes, you're supposed to be okay with it! You're supposed to realize that this is my reality. This is how my kind live!"

James slammed a fist down on the table. "If you would let us help-"

"I won't take your charity." the other man snarled. The look, eyes wild and teeth bared, even scared the younger of the two Remus's. He wondered how many times James must have seen this to not even flinch now.

"Helping a loved one isn't charity or pity." He countered. "It's being a fucking friend."

Remus crossed his arms and glowered across the room at James. His younger self stood to he side, dismayed. As far as the he could tell, the Marauders were trying to rescue him from his awful living situation and he was having none of it. When all that was left to him was pride, he tended to have a lot of it. Sadly, this conversation looked exactly like something that might happen.

The two young men sat like that for a moment, staring but not speaking. Finally, in a lower voice, James said, "If you would just accept Sirius's proposal-"

Remus's heartbeat quickened at the same time his future self shook his head. "No," he heard himself say firmly.

"Why the hell not?" James asked, and he agreed. Why would he refuse a proposal from Sirius? His mind flashed back to the previous scene. Did it have something to do with that? Were they not together anymore? "Don't you love him? Don't you want to be with him?"

"Of course I do." He snapped back, almost sounding insulted. So we are still together, Remus thought. He was almost surprised to find how relieved he was. What Sirius was about to do was an awful, horrible thing. Yet, he didn't want things to end between them. "He's not doing it for love." He heard himself continue. "He's doing it because-"

"If you say, 'because he pities me,' I swear to god I will hex you from here until next Wednesday." James growled.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Open your eyes." he said harshly.

James slammed a fist into the table. "And see what?!" His voice was rising again. "Are you trying to tell me he doesn't care about you? That all these years, it was just some elaborate ruse to force his money upon you after school?"

"That's not what I mean." Remus's voice didn't rise. "But James, you must see the connection in the timing here."

The squabbling continued on, but Remus found he could no longer make out the words. He strained to hear, but it was no use. They were fading away.

Remus had a hard time processing what he had just seen. It seemed that even though he was feeling conflict now, the Remus in the future had forgiven Sirius for his transgressions. He still loved him. So why would he turn him away? Would his pride really keep him from his own happiness? He knew that he had a problem with such things, but he thought that he was a little smarter than to undermine himself.

"It's true." whispered the voice. "Every word of it will come to pass."

Remus scowled "What, you can read my thoughts now?" That didn't get a response, but he didn't need one. He knew the magic was working with him, through him. He wasn't acting upon it; it was acting upon him, with him, inside of him. It was him, and it knew every thought and feeling that crossed his mind.

"Why, though?" he nodded towards where the quarreling pair had stood moments ago. "I know I'm stubborn but... I'm not that bad, am I?"

There was a pause before the voice answered, almost as if it was choosing its words carefully. "Maybe not yet," it allowed. "You will be."

The next scene began to take shape, hue merging with ever-changing hue to form a future day. Just as Remus began to think he would dissolve with them, he began to see the outlines of an apartment. It was a nicer apartment than his shack. Not exactly upend, but really anything would have been better. It was a mess, though. Laundry was strewn through what appeared to be a living room, most of it obviously Sirius's. He couldn't imagine anyone else wearing Muggle t-shirts showing skeletons with glowing eyes carrying swords and the like, at least. The couch cushions were sloppy and there were dishes on the coffee table. Around the corner was the kitchen, which wasn't in much of a better state. There was a broken plate lying on the floor and the table looked as though it hadn't been washed in weeks. The sink was overflowing with not only dishes but also empty boxes of various sorts of food. In the middle of it all sat himself, head in hands and looking even more aged.

Remus was appalled. He knew he lived here; he saw a few articles of his own clothing and a picture of his parents propped up on top of the television in the living room. Not to mention that Sirius wouldn't have owned a television if he didn't live with him. James and Sirius saw no use for them; once the initial awe upon discovering them had worn off, they'd lost interest. Remus and Peter, however, both grew up around Muggles. Remus wasn't quite sure of Peter's blood status - the boy was strangely evasive about it - but Remus had Muggle friends as a child and used to watch the television at their houses. Eventually he convinced his parents to buy one too, though it never worked as well in their magical environment. The only comforting thought was that this must mean that, at some point, Sirius and him would get back together. If they had ever truly split. That was another unsettling thing; even though he was seeing his future laid out, there were so many holes. It was impossible to know what to make of it all.

He stepped closer to himself, instinctively stepping over the strewn possessions. Remus knew that it wouldn't matter logically, but something kept him from just walking through the things. As he picked his way through, it occurred to him that maybe he had done this all. The Remus sitting at the table sure looked distraught enough. Had he ruined everything?

Suddenly, he remembered that the voice had not provided a year yet. How odd, Remus thought. It's almost like whatever magic makes this has its own conscious. Like it's making its own decisions. He shuddered; what a terrifying thought. Sentient magic, especially magic as powerful as this, could destroy them all if it wanted to. "What year is it?" he asked out loud.

"1981." the voice responded. He waited a moment to see if it would give him any more information. When it didn't, he crossed the last couple of steps into the kitchen, careful to avoid the shattered dish.

Now that Remus was standing next to himself, he could hear the quiet, choked sobs. It sounded as though he was trying to stop himself crying, or to make sure no one else heard. Remus had assumed the apartment was empty, but perhaps Sirius was still here. No, that doesn't make sense. If I didn't want him to see me cry, I wouldn't sit in view of the door in one of the most used rooms in the house.

A letter sat before his future self on the table. Remus leaned over, wondering if he would be able to lift it. A second letter came away when he tried to grab it, leaving a copy in place on the table. Remus lifted the ghost-letter and began to read:

Remus,

Forgive me if this response is late. I wrote you as quick as I could, but I fear I have no good news to report. Everything you've been told about the situation is true, as far as any evidence can show. There were dozens of witnesses to Peter's murder. All the accusations point towards Sirius Black as his killer. By Sirius's own admissions, he committed the crime. The Ministry is convinced. Sirius will not even be given a trial. As I write these words, he is being transported to Azkaban. Without a sentence, it's likely he'll die there for being a Death Eater.

Furthermore, the matter of the Potter's betrayal is a dismal one. Of course, no one but the Potter's and Sirius were present when he was named their Secret Keeper, but he swore to Order that it was him. James and Lily said the same. You were there for that meeting, Remus. If you have evidence that he was lying, you must come forward immediately. Otherwise, the Aurors have no choice but to take the other Order members at their word. Do not depend on Sirius to come forward to defend himself; no word of Sirius's after this point will be taken seriously. Should you know anything, I will do what I can to help him. It would truly be a shame for your partner to be imprisoned for the murder of his best friend if it were not him.

I know this must be incredibly hard to hear. One so young as yourself should never have to shoulder the pain of loss. I urge you to come and see me should you need a listening ear. Do not forget that even though these friends are gone, you are never alone. Help will always be given to those who seek it.

My door is always open,

Albus Dumbledore

Remus's entire body was trembling and he couldn't seem to make it stop. His hands shook so badly he dropped the pages, and they dissolved into nothing before they hit the floor. The Remus at the table took a deep shaky breath, but another sob forced its way up his throat. The smalled Remus sank slowly to the floor. His brain was trying to process everything he'd just read, but he only wanted to forget it all. How many years did his friends have left? How many more conversations was there time for? How many pranks, laughs, meals could he squeeze in before they were gone forever?

How could he stay with Sirius? In only a few short months he would betray him, but Remus thought he could get over that. He thought that since they made up in the future, there was no point being mad at all. Now he saw how stupid that was. What if that was just the first step? From using Remus to get rid of someone he didn't like to killing his best friend, and for what? Money? Power? Sirius had always hated Voldemort and Dark magic and his family.

"And yet," the voice whispered to him. "he convinced you to do this rite. Surely you've noticed by now that it's not exactly pure magic." Remus was beginning to hate this stupid voice. "He manipulated you, used your love and desire for him against you."

Remus shook his head, but he had no response. He didn't want to believe it. Dumbledore certainly didn't seem to. He'd all but outright begged Remus to somehow prove his innocence. Dumbledore was supposed to be one of the wisest wizards in the world. If Remus couldn't trust him, who could he trust? "It's a lie." he said out loud. "Sirius would never do something like that."

"Or do you mean you won't know how to continue if it is true?" He didn't have a response for that, so he simply ignored it. He suddenly realized he'd been crying; when had that happened? He hadn't noticed at all. Quickly, he wiped his tears on the sleeve of his robe and stood up. His future self was standing now too, although Remus didn't remember seeing him get up. He watched himself pace around the room, sobs controlled but tears still glistening on his cheeks. Something ignites in his eyes, a look he can't identify. Remus wished that he could hear his thoughts. What would he think of this six years in the future? Would he think it was all bullcrap, the way he thought he did now, or would he believe the Ministry?

Within seconds, he has his answer. Remus stands by as his future self picks up the letter and stomps into the living room. A glance at the cold fireplace ignites a roaring fire. He crumples up the letter and throws it in, watching it burn. Next, he wrenches a ring off of his left hand. Remus hadn't noticed that before, and the simple gold band causes his heart to skip a beat. He'd never really dared to allow himself to believe they'd gotten married. Who would have accepted that? The world would never accept it, Wizarding or Muggle. Perhaps Wizarding even more. Maybe they had anyways, though. Not legally, of course, but just between themselves? It didn't matter, though. He chucked the ring into the fire as hard as he could, cracking the bricks. A muttered Reparo fixed that. The scene began to fade as Remus curled up in front of the fire, watching the letter and the ring burn. He put his head on his knees, and that was the last that Remus the younger could make out before the world faded into color once more.

Remus was done. He didn't want to see anymore, hadn't even wanted to see this much. "Please, just let me go." he begged the spell, of which he was sure was more than capable of that. "I don't want to see anything else. I've learned my lesson. Just don't make me watch anymore." His voice broke towards the end, but he held back any more tears. He refused to show more weakness. This Dark magic wouldn't get the best of him.

The voice did not respond, and he was catapulted forward into a new world once more, this time harsher. And then again. And again. The scenes changed so fast that he merely caught glimpses of everything. It was impossible to hold it all or to figure out where in time it had come from. Sights, smells, and sounds assailed him all at once. Remus thought he was about to burst. His head was pounding. He couldn't hold any more information than this, and he was certain he wouldn't remember it all. As every future sight passed through his head, he wondered was any of this real? How much of this was from this timeline, and how much from others?

Finally he couldn't take it any more. He let out a piercing, pained wail. The wolf was taking over his mind, using his weakness and fear against him. He knew he had to block it out, but he couldn't find the strength. If he couldn't stop the assault of time, who knows what his physical body would do. He might be attacking the others right now, ripping at them with blunt human teeth and dull nails while his mind was trapped in this parade of horrors.

Somehow the voice was able to cut through this all to be heard and understood. "Remember this, Remus Lupin." it said to him. "Remember all you have seen hear. You sought out your future, you sought to change time, and this is the price you pay for that. Your worst nightmares are reality. Your worst timelines are the only timelines. Remember."

His eyes flew open and he was back in the dark tunnel, lit only by a single Lumos. He immediately brought a hand to his face and felt the tears that were sliding down his cheeks. The others too looked as though they had cried, and all three hastily wiped their tears away. They glanced around at each other, uneasy and shocked into silence by what they had seen. Finally, Sirius broke the silence.

"Well," he said with false cheer, voice still quavering. "That was fun, wasn't it mates?"

AN: I came up with the idea for this story at around 11 o'clock at night, so I do hope it doesn't suck. This is probably going to turn out to be a big project, bigger than one I've ever done before. I do plan to get it all done, but updates might be slow around October. Until then, hopefully I'll be getting chapters up on a regular basis.

Thanks for reading.