He hated it here. He hated the smell of grainy plains, livestock manure and unwashed humanity. He hated to look to at the endless, yellow, flat fields and small wooden houses. No mountains, no fresh salt air, or tall evergreens. Just ugly, ugly grasslands and stinking villages. That was to say nothing of the people here. Every time a human passed no amount of their perfume could hide the odor that clung to all of humanity. They were strange creatures too, concerned when their too pale skin was exposed to the sun and too others, but not when members of their own populous starved.
Cedric wondered why his ancestors ever wanted to emulate them. He'd rather live inside of a tree like the forest tribes than in this hideous rock dwelling they dared to call a palace. He had rather liked his human form until he was forced to actually be one. They wouldn't leave him alone either. All he wanted was to retreat under the shade of a tree or pond and drown away his pain, but instead a gaggle of admirers, watchers and general busybodies trailed Cedric at all times it seemed. Even when he made his nest on his bed just the way he wanted the maids would come in and tear it apart to wash it.
He wanted to go home. He wanted to cling to his sweet, perfect mother and flinch when his unborn sister kicked at him. He wanted to listen to his rambling, hotheaded father; he wouldn't even roll his eyes at him, he swore. It still hurt too much to even think of his brother. He should have died with them, he lamented every day over the last two weeks. He should have died split apart, and ravaged on that gold floor with his family. But no, fate was not so kind. So, Cedric Borjen sat in the garden of Queen Weira Escanor picking at what was supposed to be a lunch of some sorts. It looked like wilted leaves to him, with some sour smelling slime on it. Lady Rayne, the Queen's niece, seemed to enjoy it, but he couldn't bare to try it. He pushed his cheek against his palm and signed. His company didn't seem to notice and continued her inane prattling about an upcoming ball. Her handmaiden's giggled flirty at him, as if he was interested in silly games so soon after what had happened. And even if he was, their pump breasts and swaying hips held no appeal for him.
He wondered if Damian had made it out alive. He doubted it. He and Ceron were probably together when the attack had happened. They were both so stupid, nobly so, but just… Certainly they had tried to fight, and well, Cedric knew what had happened to his brother.
"Lord Borjen? Are you okay?"
Cedric jumped, startled by Rayne's question.
"Yes, my lady." He replied to her plainly. Her wide, brown eyes narrowed in sympathy. She brushed an errant tear from his cheek. Cedric let her, the numbness kicking in.
"It's okay." She fussed at him. Cedric brushed her hands away from his face now. Okay? What did that even mean now? Would anything ever be okay?
He was pushing himself from the table even though he knew she would be following him. The stupid girl was practically glued to him. The gardens despite being quite spacious now seemed to closing in on him. He wanted out. He was tired of pretending everything was perfect, when it wasn't. However, yet another person was invading his space, a droll looking man armed with a letter.
"Her Highness thinks you should see this."
Cedric's lips curled, the stiches holding them together where Lisle's soldiers had spilt them barely holding on. The letter had been sealed with sapphire blue wax, recently torn apart. Cedric snatched the letter from the man's hands, a dull fire beginning to fill his veins.
To Her Majesty, Queen Weira Escanor.
I am pleased to inform you that my men have caught up with the last Borjen hold out. Arlise Borjen and her lover Lydia Greytear were captured and killed outside of Yerkon, near the border to your lands. I trust you are enthused with this news, though you thought their deaths unnecessary.
-King Alistair of House Lisle.
Cedric counted; sixty-three words. All the mention his aunts would ever get in the world again. He threw the letter upon the ground where Rayne quickly snatched it up to read herself. Unnecessary? Of course, it was unnecessary; Arlise had the left the capital to avoid becoming Queen once, the idea frightened her so. Or maybe the idea of being married to his father had frightened her more, Cedric didn't know.
"Oh, Cedric I'm so sorry." Rayne tried to put her hand on his shoulder, but he snarled and twisted away. The girl jumped back, alarmed by Cedric's sharp teeth bared at her. Cedric turned then, his mind spinning violently, and made his way from the gardens. No one dared to follow him this time.
He wasn't sure where he was going but it was past these grey walls wherever it was. He had scaled them several minutes ago, on his march, and crossed the azure waters of moat on a long, thick vine. The pink and purple flowers whose names he didn't know tickled his nose. Meridian wasn't exactly made for hiding, the hated green fields rolling on endlessly. He noticed the fields were almost swamps from down here, with pools of clear, but still stagnant water dotting the landscape. Cedric ditched his green outer robes that dragged on the ground, and plodded on, in search of a safe place. Green was the traditional mourning color for shifters. It signified return to the ground, and potential re-birth, but that meant little to Cedric who was all alone in this world now. He was excepted to wear green so he wore green.
He had been stupid to hope his aunts might have made it across the border and back to him. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He should have known better. Arlise didn't deserve that, to die in whatever horrible way Lisle's soldiers had done it. Arlise was shy, and sweet and… She was Cedric's favorite family member after his brother. After Ceron couldn't hold back Cedric's big secret any longer the only person he told was Arlise, fittingly of course. His aunts had cornered him on his preferred sunning perch on the sun porch to talk to him soon after Ceron told.
"So, who is Damien, little one?" Arlise asked, her doe eyes mischievous.
Cedric didn't pause, lying was his specialty after all.
"That's Ceron's companion. Lord Dyern's son, they are always together."
Lydia laughed, she was far more vivacious than Arlise.
"Except when he's with you?"
Cedric narrowed his eyes at his aunts, cursing his loud-mouthed brother.
"I have no idea what you are talking about." Cedric slid off the railings of the great porch, and tried to slink over to the doors to escape.
"Really? Because Ceron told us he was looking for Damien one day, and caught you two full on-"
"Lyd! Don't tease him so." Arlise chastised. She slid in front of Cedric, who refused to meet her eyes, an indignant blush creeping on his face.
"It's all right Cedric."
"All right? If my father ever found out-"
"It wouldn't matter, Cedric, Aren loves you."
"Aren loves his perfect heir! What Borjen King has ever had a…a…anything that couldn't produce another heir! I'm supposed to marry my sister, not…"
Arlise cupped his face, her eyes brimming with tears. Like his brother, when her mind could not contain her troubles she would left them free in the form of weeping.
"Cedric, don't worry-"
"I have to worry! Ceron doesn't want to be King, and I'm all that's left! How am I supposed to be a good ruler if I was pre-destined for failure!"
Failure… Cedric didn't fail at anything, even things he detested doing. He learned to fight and was respectable at it, even though he found it distasteful. Even though he was half the size of his brother he could take him down without much effort. Dancing, Cedric hated dancing, but King's spun around endlessly at balls with pretty ladies, so Cedric learned to dance. Girls, blah, Cedric learned to flirt and laugh with gorgeous woman while his brother could barely stutter out a sentence to even the plainest ones.
Cedric had flaws of course, but he had hidden them well. His manhood had betrayed him and given his muscles and wide shoulders to Ceron in excess it seemed. But instead of hiding behind false shoulder pads and thick clothes. He accepted it, his clothes became tight in certain places, and in others he had capes and robes so ornate and well-designed they resembled dresses. He let his long hair drift free. In the old days, shifters didn't cling so tightly to their Escanor gender and so, neither would he. The old timers and traditionalists welcomed Cedric's androgynous appearance and told his father how refreshing it was to see him representing the old ways. Cedric didn't mind the male gaze it attracted either.
That was his one true flaw. Certainly, peasants could conduct such affairs, but those that had a line to protect? Oh no. Especially his family, who was so damned concerned with it that they married siblings so their hair would stay the same color. It was so ridiculous.
His aunt understood; having been cursed with the same affliction. She had run away to be free, but life had afforded Cedric no such luxury. So, he pretended and ignored it, for as long as he could anyway. What did it matter now?
He still hadn't found any trees, and the walking didn't seem to be helping either. Memories hurt, today hurt, and tomorrow would hurt too. His head ached, his body still felt sharp stinging pains, everything…
He started down his reflection in a pool, his split lips, and dead eyes. A cold chill crept in his bones. Would it hurt? Would it hurt more than the endless, empty tomorrows? Would the pain be worse than the rough hands he still felt on himself every time he shut his eyes?
No.
Cedric stilled, though his body filled with a dark, restless energy. He still had it, his family's dagger, back in his room. How appropriate. He just needed to go back. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it before now. An insane and bitter laugh spilled from his mouth. He made a promise to Lisle that he would return, and kill them all, but what good would that do? This was so much easier, nicer. It was for the best.
Cedric hurried back to his room, uncaring of the muck he carried through the palace. People must have sensed his mood, because of the first time since he arrived two weeks ago, no one dared to follow him. Suddenly it didn't matter that the maids had torn apart his carefully constructed nest again, or the blue wax sealed letter was waiting again on his desk. All that mattered was that it was almost over.
The dagger was beautiful, not really meant for use despite its razor edge. Glittering rubies twisted around a spitting, golden snake handle. His mind was made up, even if nothing lay on the other side, nothing was still better than pain.
Cedric had put on his old red and gold robes that they had managed to take from Sevit. He mind was a jumble of far flung thoughts and places. The knife edged closer to his throat, in steady, determined hands.
Plop!
The knife wrenched itself from Cedric's hand and spun across the room. Cedric jumped and whirled around to follow its path. The dagger was now firmly of in the grip of Weira's son, whose name Cedric didn't remember. He had caught it half-hazard and the blade had nicked his fingers.
Cedric lifted himself off his chair slowly, still in shock at the interruption. The other man's face was fixed in a nasty snarl, and his green eyes were narrowed in disgust. They stared at each for a moment, Cedric in cold shock, before other man raised his lips and spoke.
"I expected better from you"
Then he turned, dagger still in hand, and left the room as silently as he had arrived.
What just happened?
Cedric's darted back and forth as he tried to shake the surprise that had infected his mind. Instead an indignant rage burned in its place.
"I expected better from you"
What did that little human possibly think he knew about him? What could he know about his suffering or mindset. How dare he? Cedric snarled, and pushed himself into his bed. He tore into the bedding, pulling up the sides of the blankets into a circular pattern with ample pillows padding the sides. He nestled into his creation and pouted. He was ashamed of himself now. The dark spell had been broken. The last Borjen killing himself, how could he even think of such a thing? He shouldn't let Lisle win so easily. No matter how much he wanted to. The dark thoughts still floated in the back of his head, but Cedric's wounded pride was pushed to forefront now. He had been humiliated enough this month.
And if nothing else, he needed his dagger back.
"You promised me you wouldn't tell anyone." Cedric snarled at his brother. Ceron immediately looked guilty, and didn't bother to deny it.
"I'm sorry! I just wanted to talk about it with someone. I thought Aunt Arlise would be okay."
"You promised me." Cedric deadpanned at him. Ceron's eyes filled with tears. He always cried when he was upset, but today his tears did not move his brother.
"You promised me and Damian, Ceron! I trusted you."
"I know! I'm sorry, I was just confused and you didn't want to talk about it, and it's embarrassing to talk about it with Damien. I just wanted to understand."
Cedric threw his hands up.
"What's there to understand, Ceron! I like men, I sleep with men, I fuck your best friend! What more do you want?"
His brother winced, tears spilling from his eyes.
"I just wanted to talk about it."
Cedric wanted to pull his hair out.
"Why?"
"Never mind."
"Gah, I hate you!"
Ceron let more tears flow, and sat on the ground.
"Don't say that, Cedric. I just wanted to know why you never told me before. It hurt that you didn't trust me enough to tell me. We are brothers."
Cedric snarled.
"Maybe for this exact reason! You can't keep a secret to save your life!"
Ceron let out a weak laugh through his tears.
"That's what Aunt Arlise said too."
"You have something of mine."
The garden was beautiful and off the beaten path, concealed behind a dense row of shrubberies and settled in a natural depression. It contained a huge marble fountain in the shape of a bird, and mature rose bushes of an unfathomably deep red color. The rain that poured down from the sky splatted elegantly on their leaves, and filled the hollow with that familiar, comforting sound. Phobos looked up at Cedric from his seat nestled under an arch of the trailing rose brushes; he was soaked from the rain but didn't seem to care. The Prince narrowed his eyes at the shifter and laughed hollowly. Cedric pursed his lips at the Prince even though the action hurt.
"Give it to me."
Phobos stood up and tried to peer down at the shifter, a difficult task since Cedric was roughly two inches taller than him. Regardless of this, the Prince's smirk was degrading enough.
"And what is that you want?"
Cedric growled. He supposed another of his flaws was patience; or lack thereof.
"My dagger."
"Ah, I'm afraid I've lost it since last night."
"Lost it?!" Thunder cracked ominously after his yell, and Cedric instinctively jumped at the sound.
Phobos laughed and roughly pushed past Cedric. The Prince didn't bother to look back or speak to Cedric. The shifter clenched his fists and twisted his mouth. It really was a shame that Lisle's soldiers had damaged his lips so, since he so often twisted them in anger; it seemed they would never heal.
"I want it back!" Cedric screeched at him, though the Prince paid him no mind.
"Someone is going to find us here."
"Shush"
Damien grasped the nook of Cedric's knee and pulled his leg up by his waist. Cedric leaned awkwardly against the other, his balance thrown off by the action. The larger man ignored Cedric's protests and buried his face into his lover's neck, lapping and nipping at his flesh. The blond groaned, but startled easily at a nearby knocking.
"What was that?"
Damien rumbled into Cedric, and guided them over to the nearby desk. It was his way of saying not to worry about it. Damien's green eyes glinted at him with a playful sparkle. He pulled gently at Cedric's black coat, tossing it to the side. The black-haired man was never in a rush; and it drove Cedric crazy. He would have divested himself of the rest of his clothes and Damien's too, if the other shifter hadn't carefully pinned Cedric just the right way to prevent him from doing so.
Damien always teased him, rubbing him too slowly, tracing circles on his skin, trailing his tongue on him. He hated it. Well, maybe hate was strong word, he recanted as Damien kissed him fiercely while removing the last of his clothes.
Before either had a chance to react, Damien's chamber door swung open with a resounding slam.
"Damien, you promised you would go…"
Ceron stared, slack jawed at his naked brother and best friend in such a comprising position. Damien's tanned skin turned white as ivory, while Cedric groaned and pressed his hands into his face.
He had warned him.
Another day, another awful lunch with Lady Rayne and her gaggle of giggling friends. This one was held inside due to the weather however, the storm from this morning still raging. The lady tried to keep the conversation as upbeat as possible after yesterday, but Cedric still refused to be engaged. His thoughts today revolved retrieving his stolen property. It wasn't fair, he'd had enough people see him at low points. What if he told? He doubted the Prince cared enough to do, but what if he did?
"Lord Borjen, I saw you met Prince Phobos this morning." Lady Rayne began casually, though her voice revealed her deep curiosity. Cedric wasn't the least bit surprised that she had seen them, as nosy as the dark girl was.
"Yes. He has something of mine." He stated plainly, not interested in talking about his problems with the girl.
"Oh, he's such a pest, you know. A horrible person really, droll, and nasty! He never wants to see me or my mother. One of my good companions, Elias, took a fancy to him, and he was so awful to him! Apparently 'artists aren't interesting' enough for him. Interesting enough to have his way with him first though! Can you imagine!?"
Cedric hid a laugh in his tea at Rayne's tirade. He'd forgotten the tight bonds humans associated with sexual contact. Damien had gone through roughly a dozen men before settling, however temporarily, with Cedric; and he held no grudges over it. It was more of a game to shifters, not to say they didn't form attachments, but they were sealed with time, not sex.
"Yes, that's quite a shame." Cedric finally responded as Rayne looked at him with excusing eyes.
"What does he have of yours?" she asked, her eyes still narrowed.
"Ah, family heirloom." Cedric responded quietly. Rayne had no such tempered reaction. She stood up and slammed her palms on the table. Cedric looked up at her with wide eyes.
"How dare he? After everything you've been through and takes something so special from you? Come on, let's go tell the Queen."
Cedric grasped her wrist quickly before she could run off on her mission.
"That's not necessary. I can get it back on my own."
Rayne didn't seem convinced, but her dark cheeks darkened even more she gazed at Cedric's fingers wrapped around her wrist. Cedric noticed too. Wonderful…
"I don't care, you know."
The temperature had finally dropped, signaling the return of the wet season. The sea winds carried a chilly enough breeze that their plans for swimming had been dashed. The sea birds were particularly feisty today, as they cried and fought over the scraps of today's breakfast Cedric had brought for them.
"What about?" Cedric asked his brother. Ceron was knee deep in the sinking sands, digging around for crabs or clams. Cedric was sitting on the tide line, throwing bread into the air for the birds. Cedric hadn't spoken to his brother since their unresolved confrontation after the Sun Festival. Finally, Ceron had begged his brother to go down to the beach with him. However mad Cedric was at Ceron he wouldn't refuse him that.
"You and Damien. I don't care."
Cedric paused and observed his sibling. Ceron wasn't looking at him, but continued to push mounds of dark brown sand, as if this conversation were the most normal in the world.
"If it doesn't bother you why did you tell Aunt Arlise?"
Ceron halted his digging. His lips were drawn into a pout.
"What bothered me is you never told me. Not about Damien, not about any of it"
Cedric groaned. The birds seethed above him as he stopped tossing food for them. They cawed and cried, but Cedric's attention was elsewhere.
"I already told you, you can't keep a secret."
"I know! But we tell each other everything!"
Cedric knew that. He knew everything about his brother, even things he wished he would have kept to himself.
"I'm sorry. But you know how I should be Ceron, if people found out…"
"No one cares anymore Ced. The Borjen name and way is on its last leg, even dad says so."
"Whatever. But I'm not going to be the one to deal the final blow." Cedric spat, angrily ripping the bread into tiny bits. His brother would never understand. He never took anything seriously. It had all fallen to Cedric, and he mustn't fail
"Look, what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry. I just want you to feel comfortable with me again."
Cedric gave his brother a forgiving smile and hummed. He then turned back to feeding the birds. He had forgiven him days ago.
"I love you too, brother" Ceron laughed, used to Cedric's nonverbal mannerisms.
"Your cousin wanted me to turn to you into your Queen Mother for theft you know." Cedric informed Phobos.
The other man leered at Cedric from his perch in the Saffron tree in the same garden. It had been two days. Two days of careful planning and dialog, only for Cedric to peer into the rose garden on a whim. And of course, there he was.
"Rayne is nothing but a nuisance." Phobos drawled at him. Cedric couldn't help but agree with him.
His eyes were the same shade of jade green as Damien's, Cedric noticed with a wrench. He could see that now in the sun. They lacked the cheerful gleam that his always had though. Instead his dark glint seemed to suit Cedric's new situation better.
"What did you mean, "I expected better from you?" he finally asked.
"It means I expected better."
Cedric rolled his purple eyes, resisting the urge to bite back. Instead, he leaned against the fountain and took several deep breathes. The sweet smell of the roses masked the odor of the plains.
"Can I please have my dagger back?" he asked, forcing as much sweetness into his voice as possible.
"Begging, now are we?" Phobos smirked down at him. Cedric wasn't used to being spoke to in such a manner. He didn't like it.
"If you don't give my knife back, I'm going to tear you out of that damn tree and get it back myself!" Cedric snarled. He strutted over to the tree, and allowed his claws to come out and rake themselves down the bark. Phobos just laughed, but his eyes lit up in a manic light. He was enjoying himself.
The Prince slid out of the tree, and pulled at a strand of Cedric's long hair. The shifter let out a soft hiss, but remained still.
"Tomorrow is the Harvest ball. I'll see you then."
Once again Phobos turned his back on Cedric and strolled out of the garden, and once again Cedric was left alone seething.
It was a rare thing to make it down to the beach by himself. The second his brother caught him moving towards the path to it, he would tag along. Sometimes he just wanted to be alone. To wade out in the salt water and just breath; without being tackled into the water.
The castle looked insignificant from so far below it, the rocky cliffs obstructing most of the view apart from a few tall turrets. He could focus on the endless expanse of ocean instead of his problems. The white terns flew happily around squawking and dive bombing each other from great heights.
Cedric loved it here, if his brother's 'happy place' was the tall, ominous mountains then Cedric's was the wild and free ocean. He enjoyed the mountains too, but then again if wanted to look down at all his lands he could do that from home. The beach and the ocean represented seclusion and freedom, imperious and endless. Very few of the other nobles dared to make their way down here, the footpath barely cut into the sharp, steep cliffs. He and Ceron had fallen from it many a times.
Uh. Speaking of.
Someone was definitely experiencing the sensation of falling twenty feet off the path and into the sand. The figure slammed into her serval rocks, before crashing into the sand below. Probably his brother, couldn't he just leave him alone for one hour? Cedric rolled his eyes, and trudged over to the fallen figure. While it was not his brother, he recognized the other shifter. Tanned skin and messy black hair, unbefitting the noble he was, Damien Tagin was his brother's second favorite companion after himself, of course. Cedric leered up at the cliffs looking for his brother's form, as they were rarely apart if Cedric was not with him.
No flashes of golden hair, or blurry, erratic movements. No Ceron, hmm. He wondered what he was doing with no companions. Probably bothering their mother. He snorted, and turned his attention to the sprawled, bruised, shifter below him. Damien lifted his eyes raucously, and immediately pulled himself into a sitting position. He ogled Cedric for a moment before realizing who he was.
"Oh, your Grace. Ah…Pardon me?"
Cedric smirked. Damien looked terror-stricken, he wondered what tales Ceron had told him about his aloof, snobbish, reserved brother.
"Do you call Ceron your Grace?" Cedric asked, his voice monotoned. Damien's expression lightened considerably after this.
"Um…Do you want me to call you Cedric?"
"Do you think that's' appropriate?"
Damien stood up, his person excluding bravado. He took a step closer to Cedric, who eyed him with cold interest.
"I don't know, you tell me, your Grace."
The honorific meant less when Damien laughed after saying it. He reached out and tugged on a lock of Cedric's hair playfully. Cedric froze in shock. No one dared ever touch him, especially in such a manner.
"Do you want to go for a swim, your Grace?"
Yes, he did.
His mother had loved balls. She would always go out of her way to ensure her ballroom was decorated with flowers, and fine silks, and the best entertainment. Cedric found them to be nightmares. It wasn't that he lacked social skills or even minded pretending enthusiasm. They just took so long. The maids would start pulling his hair mid-afternoon and annoyance didn't stop until he could finally mange to sneak out after midnight. It seemed no different in the Escanor court. He allowed them to put his hair in some arrangement of an Escanor braid, but he still wore his favorite red and gold surcoat. Though he felt guilty looking at it after the other night.
He speculated how many people had been forced to attend a party and act joyful roughly three weeks after their family being massacred. He supposed it was a fortunate thing he had a rough time processing his emotions. Otherwise he might crawl into a ball and never unwind. How long someone could live on pure spite?
Weira's grand ballroom was very different then Sevit's. Rather than white marble gilded with gold accents, the walls were a grey stone made to look brighter with silk fabrics of teal and gold. It was also open out to the gardens, where couples trailed happily together under fairy lights. Cedric's head ached, throbbed with every new person that sauntered past him. Each human smelled different and never good, their voices louder than shifters, and they all wanted to dance with him. Females, males, Galhots, Escanors were all intrigued by Weira's little ward. He heard more words of false sympathy then he ever had in his life. He was even relieved when Rayne cut into another dance to allow herself a spot. At least Cedric knew her.
He liked the food. When he finally managed to escape the crowds, he had spent half an hour sampling the various foods the Escanors had. They were all much heavier than the fish centric food he was used to. Huge roasted Hoo-gongs, and Hermeneuta beasts, lots of grains too, naturally.
After dancing and gouging, Cedric had located an unoccupied alcove in the gardens and relaxed. The party had died down enough no one missed his absence. Couples twirled happily on the dance-floor and old women and men sat the benches and discussed the state of affairs while their large meals digested. He spotted Queen Weira and her timid husband on the dance floor, though she looked none to enthused to be there. Her tight scowl made Cedric grin, pleased he wasn't the only one not enjoying himself.
Her son was strolling over his hiding place, his face in a matching grimace as his mother's. He gestured over to Cedric,
"Come on,"
And wandered off to his usual retreat in the rose gardens. Cedric blinked once, then shrugged and padded after him. The rose garden was dimly lit, the blooms themselves looked black in this light. Phobos' reached into his dark waist coat and pulled out the dagger.
"I didn't think male Escanor's had any magic." Cedric remarked, recalling the dagger flying unconsciously from his hands. Phobos' snarled, and clenched his free fist, sparks leaping from it.
"I'm special." He said shortly. Cedric didn't say anything but instead took a seat on the rim of the fountains pool. Phobos ran his finger on the length of the dagger, and looked up critically at Cedric.
"What did you say to Lisle when they took you from the throne room?" he asked, his voice dull.
Cedric drummed his fingers on the stone, anxious.
"I said that I would come back and kill them all."
Phobos remained unmoved. "And yet you tried to kill yourself, not four days ago."
"I made a mistake." Cedric said, he didn't try to justify himself to Phobos or to anyone. He didn't want to or need to. Cedric noted how handsome he was for a human. He lacked the overburden of muscles human males often prided themselves on, but he was still more well-built than himself. Though Cedric had no doubt he was far stronger than him. Phobos peered down at him, his eyes hard and cold.
"Where's your fire now?"
Fire. Where could flames come from when the sun had been snuffed out? He'd have to find a new sun.
"I'll show you."
Phobos smirked, he handed the dagger back to Cedric. The shifter took it gently, and pushed it back into his boot.
"Good."
It was hurricane season, Cedric's least-favorite time of the year. Especially at night. His room was equipped with large floor to ceiling windows; perfect for sunning, not so much for violet, windy, storms. He had been about ten or so when practically bad storm had broken the reinforced glass. Cedric had been an even quelled child, but he still had roomed with his brother for rest of the season because of it. Wards protected the glass now, so Cedric wasn't worried, but he was still more interested in watching the storm than sleeping.
Creak…
Cedric great wooden door scraped on the floor, signaling an intruder. A welcome intruder however. Damien was cautiously slipping into his bedding chamber from the main one. He looked surprised that Cedric was still awake.
"Are you okay? It's pretty late?"
Cedric nodded in the positive, and pushed aside his wall of pillows to make room for Damien. The other shifter leaped into the bed, his eyes alight with glee. He grasped Cedric's waist and pulled him close, his face buried in Cedric's long, golden, hair.
"I love you"
Cedric hummed back at him, their usual arrangement. He was still to proper to tell Damien such a thing. If it bothered the other shifter he never let on. Cedric pulled in a content sigh; Damien smelled like the evergreens he and Ceron were always trudging around in; it was Cedric's favorite smell, even before he met him.
"Hey, I found this amazing lake up past Mount Miagana the other day. Bright blue, perfect for swimming!"
Cedric laughed softly.
"It's a little cold for swimming, don't you think?"
He could feel Damien smirk and laugh against his neck.
"I'm sure we could find ways to warm each other up after."
The storm was getting worse outside, ripping up the Fully trees that grew only around the cliffs by the ocean. Cedric watched in morbid fascination, as the skinny, tall trees were ripped from the ground like paper. One of them slammed into the castle wall near the East chamber were Ceron lived. He doubted he would like that.
"Wow, this one's really bad. Glad I'm inside."
"I'm sure."
"Although if my sweetheart was out there being tossed around, I would gladly brave the evil winds and fight them off with my bare hands, if only to receive a chaste kiss from my one true love!"
Cedric scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"You're ridiculous"
Damien laughed, and rolled Cedric over unto his back, and leaned over him, his grin infectious.
"Well, I did sneak across the castle in the dead of night, through a mighty storm, can I still get a kiss for that?"
Cedric nodded, and Damien leaned in, his lips as cold as Cedric's always were.
Bam!
"Cedric! Cedric! I know you're awake, did you see that tree hit my room?! Ah!"
Ceron covered his eyes, and looked out from the cracks suspiciously.
"Gross, are you two doing it?"
"Gross!" yelled Damien and pushed himself off Cedric and relaxed on the other side of him. Seeing no unwholesome activity, Ceron wasted no time jumping on the bed and nesting on the other side of Cedric.
Cedric shot him a nasty look.
"I didn't invite you, I'm trying to sleep."
"Oh hush, Damien's here too, you're not sleeping. Anyway, Damien did you see that poor Fully tree? I think it cracked my wall!"
"Yeah! Really? Poor Ellies gonna go insane tomorrow when she sees at the work she has to do!"
"I know! We should go down to the beach tomorrow and see what's left!"
"Yes, sounds fun."
Cedric rolled his eyes, he would never get rid of them now. Ceron was already building his own nest, and Damien looped his arms around Cedric's waist again. Content, but pretending displeasure, Cedric allowed his eyes to droop as his brother and Damien prattled on. If this was his life, he could certainly get used to it.
"Have you ever been this far from the castle?"
Phobos didn't respond, his nose curled and eyes narrowed. Cedric guessed he hadn't; humans rarely had the thirst for adventure especially those of noble birth. The couple had passed the slow-moving river on the east side on the castle and through the lush fields after it. It had been a long walk, Phobos requiring a few stops along the way.
The Torus Kiln mountains weren't like Miagana mountains. They were sharper, rockier, and less expansive as they merely served as a barrier between the Meridian Plains and the Torus Kiln ice fields on the other side. The rocks were an alabaster color, rather than a normal trees were smaller and more scraggily looking, the air colder, and the peaks capped with ice rather than an active volcano. But at least they weren't fields.
Cedric could navigate the rough terrain easily, finding foot holes and slippery rocks without even trying. Phobos fell several times however, looking more disgusted every time he did, though he refused to allow Cedric to help him up. He plowed into Cedric when the shifter halted, frozen in place.
"What are you doing?" he snarled.
A huge tree in full spring bloom stood alone before them, sprouting right from the rock itself; right below where the ice line started. It's long weepy leaves held lavender-grey flowers upon them, swaying in the wind. The leaves were so thick and overreaching they created a natural roof around its grey-wood trunk.
"What's that?" he asked Phobos, surprised to see such a tree in an otherwise barren land.
Phobos peered around his shoulders, impressed.
"That's a Saffron tree, there is a whole forest of them to the South. Strange this one is up here all alone."
Phobos knew more about plants then most gardeners. Over the last month whenever Cedric wished to find him he knew to search the gardens for his new companion. The shifter had a suspicion that Phobos' magic was a gift from the natural spirts of the land, like the Borjen's one-time fire magic. Flowers opened faster and with more color when he was around, vines climbed higher and trees kept their leaves longer. He was connected to the land in a one most humans were not, and it intrigued Cedric to no end.
The two settled under the leaves, Phobos was clearly exhausted, and Cedric had no intention to climb the icy peaks any further. The human was no Damien or anyone for that matter. He was prone to dark, sullen silences, and rapid mood swings. He snapped over the littlest things, and contained more loathing than any person Cedric had known before. It didn't matter though. Cedric didn't have to pretend to smile around him, and his silences were usually timed perfectly with his own. Cedric could explore the new dark places inside his mind without critique, and mourn his loss in his own way. He could be cold and hurt, and rough without the expectation of happiness. As petulant as Phobos was, he seemed to have a soft spot for him, not even complaining when Cedric proposed this little outing.
Meridian didn't look any better from up here, Cedric thought with a smirk. He supposed Phobos had a different opinion of the land having been raised here. He looked over to him, surprised to see Phobos studying him intently.
"Your lips finally healed." He remarked idly. That was true, the stiches had been taken out finally two days ago. The less seen wounds on his back and legs had healed too, long before that one. They hadn't scarred, but he had fidgeted so much with his lips that they had left one. Cedric thought it was horribly ugly, twisting his lips into a semi snarl.
What happened next was fast. Phobos grasped at his shoulders and pulled Cedric to himself. The kiss was dominating with no room for argument. Cedric had excepted himself to be frightened by the action, but instead he felt his blood burn, and returned the fierce deed in equal parts. When Phobos finally pulled away, Cedric spotted a streak of blood on his lips, whose blood he didn't know. They squared off again for a moment, both frozen.
Cedric started this time; pushing himself against the other man eagerly. Phobos pushed him back into the rock, hanging over him, his smile a leer. The whole encounter was rough, wild, and desperate. There was little affection or gentleness but it was everything they both needed at that moment. After, when they lay bare on the cold white stone, Cedric allowed his eyes to droop. He needed to go on, and if this strange plant-magic infused Prince's gave him that will, then so be it. Life would never be the same, certainly, but those endless tomorrows had become slightly less empty. If this was his life now, he could certainly get used to it.
End.
ANs!
Dedicated to my fellow W.I.T. , Crimson Memory and Roasted-Oolong. Thank you for all the lovely works you grace us with. Hope this little fic agrees with you!
Obviously, this is within the 'Oaths that Bind Us' universe. For those that haven't read that and would like a quick update on the lore here's the short version.
House Borjen (Cedric's family) are the shifter royalty. They overplay their hand however and end up murdered by a rival house (Lisle) with help from Queen Weira. They kill all the Borjens (Celene, her unborn child, Ceron, and Aren) except Arlise who is not there at the time, and Cedric whom Weira saves just in time, as she had not wanted the whole family killed, just the King. She then takes Cedric back to Meridian as her ward.
Saffron trees are named so, despite actually being grey in color, in honor of Frost the Hunter's rhino whose name is Crimson but is actually…grey-brown. The flashbacks are obviously not in order, but rather by relevance to the main story, I trust you can figure out the chorological order, but if not shoot me a message and I'll elaborate.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. RoR out!