He hadn't realized what day it was when he awoke that morning.
Or when he ate his breakfast with Pidge and Shiro.
Or even when Coran had informed them that they could have the day off, since they had been training so much lately.
No, Lance hadn't realized the day until Hunk had pointed it out.
"Merry Christmas Lance!"
He was quiet as the words washed over him, comprehension dawning as he mentally calculated how long they had been in space, away from Earth. It was, indeed, the 25th of December.
Lance blinked several times as he processed the startling information. Since when had it been December? Where had all the time gone?
Surely there was a mistake…
"Is it actually?"
Hunk shrugged, "Yeah, I made a calendar shortly after it was decided we would help save the universe and all that fun stuff. You know, just to keep track of time, since I still have no clue what a 'tick' is, no matter how much Coran tries to explain it."
"Oh."
"Yeah, so today is Christmas. You used to celebrate it back on Earth right? My family would go on vacation a lot at this time of year. I miss them, but I know they would be proud of me, you know? Anyway, since we have the day off, and it's Christmas, I'm heading down to the kitchen to prepare a special meal and…hey Lance? You listening?"
Lance jerked at the sound of his name and nodded quickly.
"Sounds awesome. I'm going to go…um, call me when it's ready."
"It'll be a while yet…" But Lance was already walking away, back towards the dormitories.
In truth he hadn't heard much of what Hunk had said, his mind having been caught off guard by the 'used to celebrate' part of the conversation.
When had it become past tense?
His mind whirled as he suddenly grasped the situation. The entire situation.
He was in space, far away from Earth, like, impossibly far away. And he was alone on Christmas.
Lance's knees buckled as soon as he made it to his room. His family would be wondering where he was, and he had no way to contact them, to tell them he was alright!
Wait. No.
The garrison would have told them about the alien ships, and how he was missing. So no, they wouldn't be expecting him to come home. They would assume he was dead, or had been captured. It wouldn't make sense to them, but they would be grieving this holiday season.
The thought made Lance feel like retching.
He thought about his mom, her cheerful singing as she bobbed around the kitchen. He thought about his dad, the way he giggled and glowed red after two rum and eggnogs. He thought about his older brother, and how he would tease Lance about his lankiness, and Lance would tease him about his lack of girlfriend, and they would wrestle. He thought about his two younger sisters, and their sassy remarks to all of Lance's jokes. He thought about his cousins, and his aunts and uncles, his grandparents, his dogs!
And then there were tears streaming down his cheeks, and his breath was becoming ragged. His heart twisted at the memories, and of how this year there would be no singing. No dancing. No Christmas!
All because he decided to go out on the town that fateful night.
Why. Why?!
Lance had always been impulsive, but the consequences to his actions had never impacted more than just him, sometimes Hunk and Pidge. But his family? Had Lance known back then that leaving his dorm would result in him being chosen as the Blue Paladin and charged with saving the much-larger-than-necessary universe, would he have still done it?
But none of that mattered. Because he had chosen his path, and was currently laying on the ground sobbing about it.
Lance let the pain engulf him. The loneliness, the shame, and then the emptiness.
He missed his family, and he loathed himself for making them worry, but at least they had each other. Lance had never felt more alone, but that tended to happen when you were floating billions of lightyears away from your planet in a foreign space ship.
His tears slowly eased, leaving his face feeling tight and ironically dry. Lance knew his crew was nearby, and would be willing to comfort him, but he couldn't allow himself to be seen in this state. He rarely showed his true emotions, always relying on his humour and wit to cover them up when needed. It worked for the most part, Hunk and Coran being the only ones to really know when something was bothering him. But he didn't want to talk to them right now.
He didn't want his friends to see him like this. He felt hollow. He felt tired, and he wanted nothing more than to crawl in bed and try to sleep the pain away. But his body wouldn't move, grounded by the weight of guilt and melancholy.
So he closed his eyes, letting his thoughts carry his mind into dreams of home.
Hunk was worried about Lance.
Truth be told, there was rarely a time he wasn't worried about Lance, but this was different. He had looked so dejected when Hunk had wished him a merry Christmas, which had not been the reaction he'd been expecting.
So something was up, and Hunk had a pretty good idea as to what it was.
Hunk had known Lance for years. They were in the same class for most of their school years, and had grown closer during their time at the garrison. He knew that Lance had a large family, and cared for them dearly, driving Hunk up the wall whenever holidays or breaks came around, counting down the days until he could go home and see them.
It was an endearing, if sometimes annoying, quality that Lance possessed, but Hunk had never faulted him for it. When Lance loved, he loved with his entire being.
With the discovery of alien existence, Voltron, the extensive Galran empire, and their mission to save everyone, no one had really gotten the opportunity to actually process what was happening. Hunk himself often woke up believing he was still on Earth, and it was disorientating.
He was sure everyone else was feeling the same thing. But he knew Lance had it the worst.
Hunk was an only child, and though he and his parents were close, and he missed them dearly, it was easier for him to accept the possibility of never seeing them again.
It hurt, but he knew he was fighting a just cause; one that his parents would support.
Pidge's family was still missing, but she was actively searching for them, with the opportunity existing to see them again. So it wasn't the same. Not really.
Keith was alone when they found him, not having much family to begin with.
As for Shiro, Hunk didn't know what his family situation was like, and hadn't wanted to pry.
But Lance came from an extensive household, one that he loved and surely missed.
Allura and Coran would know better than anyone what Lance was going through, but Hunk knew that Lance wouldn't want to open up to them about it. He kept a lot of things to himself, and Hunk wasn't even sure Alteans celebrated Christmas anyways.
Lance was probably in turmoil right now, being separated from his family on such a holiday, but Hunk wasn't sure what to do to help him. He decided to give the boy his space for now, letting him have his privacy for the time being.
Hunk ran into Keith as he entered the kitchen hallway, startling himself out of his thoughts.
"Jesus Keith, can you wear bells or something?"
Keith chuckled, and Hunk wondered if he had a family back on Earth that all shared the same laugh.
"Sorry Hunk. Actually I was looking someone." A slight blush erupted on Keith's cheeks and ears, but he didn't elaborate.
Not that he needed to. Hunk had a keen sense of perception, but it didn't take a genius to notice the way Keith acted around Lance. He stood taller, spoke louder, and watched Lance with hawk eyes whenever the other boy spoke. It was cute, and Hunk was sure the rest of the crew was aware of Keith's crush.
Well, everyone except Lance of course. Hunk had asked him what he thought of Keith after he first noticed the behaviour. Lance had scoffed, stating that he, quote-unquote "hated the stupid mullet head", but Hunk had seen him redden and avoid eye contact.
Lance was terrible liar.
He watched their encounters from then on, mostly out of boredom. A stolen glance here, a blushed smile there.
It was like watching a dog chase its' tail. For three months.
Hunk hadn't wanted to interfere, but that didn't mean he couldn't give subtle hints.
"Lance is probably in his room. I think he could use some company actually." He watched with satisfaction as Keith turned a deep shade of red, growing too flustered to answer. Hunk smiled at him innocently and made his way into the kitchen.
Mission accomplished.
Keith could feel the heat in his face as Hunk left. What exactly had he meant? And why had he reacted so embarrassingly to it?
He listened to Hunk's footsteps fade away, his mind whirling after the encounter. Was he that obvious?
Keith had been careful about his feelings towards Lance, or so he thought. He wasn't even sure what the feelings were, if it was just a crush or...something more. He had denied them at first, appalled at himself as he noticed his pulse quicken whenever he saw Lance. It was just the mayhem of the last few months. It was simply the constant togetherness that came with forming Voltron. It was just team bonding!
Or so he told himself.
Keith wasn't sure when he started liking Lance, (not that he was admitting anything), but he remembered the strange jolt deep in his gut that had occurred during their first team building exercise, when Coran had made them connect their minds.
Keith had been thinking of his little house back on Earth, the closest thing he had to a home, seeing as he never knew his own parents.
But his happy memory had paled in comparison to Lance's. His family was enormous! Keith hadn't known they could be that extensive, and he could feel the love radiating from Lance as the boy recalled his kin.
That's where the feeling originated. It was like someone was trying to light a lighter, a quick spark of warmth and then nothing.
Keith had passed it off as jealousy at first, but the spark had ignited something, and with it came a heightened level of awareness when it came to Lance.
Things like the way Lance stretched when they finished training, or how he used his arms expressively when he spoke.
A small flame began to burn.
Keith noticed the finer details.
The crooked grin Lance wore when he was genuinely smiling, (not to mention the ability to tell the difference between his real and fake smiles!)
The way his eyes darted to the right when he was about to lie. How he ran his hands through his hair after taking off his helmet.
The flame grew larger.
The bubbly laugh he only shared with Hunk. (That one made him insanely jealous.)
Flame to fire.
The way he spoke. The way he walked. The way he smelled!
Keith could feel the heat rising from the fire Lance had lit inside him. It was stoked whenever he saw the boy, flushing his face and making his palms sweaty.
Thank god he wore gloves.
But still, Keith had denied it.
That is, until Lance had been hurt.
Waiting for him to emerge from the healing pod had been the worst thing Keith had had to do. He had been wracked with worry, but couldn't show the others his concern. They didn't need to know how he felt. It would ruin the team dynamic.
Still though, Keith had never been as relieved as when Lance stepped out of the pod.
A bonfire burned inside of him.
He decided he would tell Lance how he felt. He would explain his feelings, try to make sense of them, and go from there.
Or at least, that had been the plan.
Lance had squandered his hopes after he said he didn't remember their bonding moment. Keith had cradled Lance in his arms, and Lance didn't recall.
Surely it was due to his injuries, but it was difficult for Keith not to take it to heart.
He just wasn't memorable to Lance.
So Keith had kept his thoughts to himself, choosing to pine away quietly, until the fire burned itself out.
That had been two months ago.
The fire was still crackling away, but Keith was better at controlling his emotions now. He focused most of his energy on training, using his frustrations to power his workouts.
If this was to be a one-sided crush so be it. Keith would ignore his feelings. But that didn't mean he could ignore Lance.
Not that he wanted to.
So when Coran had given them the day off, Keith figured he could use it as an opportunity to talk with Lance. Just about things. Guy things. Like weapons. And aliens. Nothing sappy and embarrassing like feelings.
Keith hadn't really thought about the topics too much, but he just wanted, no, needed, to be around Lance.
The fire demanded kindling.
Still, his courage cracked a little after the encounter with Hunk. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. If he had that sort of reaction just by hearing Lance's name what was he going to do when it was just them? One on one.
He was so screwed.
Keith realized that his legs had begun to move as his mind was wandering. They had brought him to the dormitories, specifically Lance's.
Stupid legs. Betrayers.
But that didn't stop the little flutter his heart did as he reached up to knock on the door.
Keith counted four seconds of silence before he heard a muffled 'come in' from the other side of the door.
He took a deep breath and turned the handle.
Lance was sitting at his window, a blanket draped around his shoulders as he stared off into space. He didn't turn as Keith entered the room, or when the door closed behind him.
"Hey." Keith waited for Lance to respond, but as the silence dragged on he realized that Lance had no intention of answering.
Perfect.
But Keith wasn't about to turn tail and run. He could sense that something was wrong with Lance. He wasn't acting like his usual loud, boisterous self, and was instead showing a side that Keith had never seen before.
Docile. Calm.
Blue.
Lance was so heavily draped in melancholy that it practically coloured the air. And as Keith crept closer, he could see tear stains on Lance's cheeks; his eyes still slightly red.
He had been crying!
"Are you ok?"
Lance sighed and nodded, but didn't turn to look at Keith.
"Lance...you know, you don't have to pretend. It's ok to not be ok."
Keith watched as Lance's shoulders shook slightly under the blanket, his jaw trembling. When he finally turned to look at Keith, his eyes were glassy, wet with fresh tears.
"I miss home." The words were just barely audible, but Keith had heard them, and they resonated within him. He watched as a few tears escaped their ducts and rolled down his cheeks, but Lance quickly wiped them away. He made a noise that sounded like a cross between a sob and a laugh.
"Sorry. I don't usually cry in front of people." A slight smile broke out on his face, and Keith could tell it was genuine, if a little pained. He could feel the fire begin to blaze.
"That's ok. I don't normally stick around this long to see people cry. You must be special." The words were out of his mouth before he could properly think them through, but Lance had turned his attention back to the window.
"Keith..."He started, and Keith's heart leapt at the sound of his name coming from the other boys lips. He sat down next to Lance on the window seat, his legs threatening to give out. Lance continued, unaware of the reaction he was inflicting on Keith.
"Do you ever think about Earth?" It was an odd question, and it surprised Keith that Lance would ask him of all people about their home planet. He watched Lance as he replied.
"Earth was ok I guess." Lance's face dropped, still facing towards the window. Quietly he asked: "Was?"
Keith didn't understand.
"What?"
"You said 'was ok'. You used past tense." Keith wasn't sure why that mattered, but continued.
"Oh, well, I mean it is ok. It's just..." He sighed and stared out the window, contemplating his next words. "Earth was never really a home to me. It was more of a...host I guess." He could feel Lance's gaze but continued on, the words pouring from his mouth.
"I never had a proper family. I didn't know my parents, or anything like that. I was always in between houses. The garrison was probably the longest I've ever been in one place, but it just wasn't for me. When I dropped out I had nowhere to go, so I just wandered around. That little shack back on Earth was probably the closest thing to a home I've ever had." He took a deep breath as he finished, not daring to look at Lance, who was still staring at him. The silence stretched on, until Lance finally broke it.
"I didn't know that. About your family I mean. I'm sorry." Keith was startled by the apology. No one had ever said they were sorry about his lack of familial bonds. He had never known any different. But Lance had said it.
Or maybe he meant that he felt sorry for Keith. He didn't want pity.
"But you know," Lance continued, "I think you've got the wrong idea about home. It's not a place so much as a feeling. It's the people you love and care about. As long as you have them then you're home."
Keith mulled the words over in his mind. He hadn't known Lance was this pensive. It acted as fuel to the flames.
"I've never had anyone that I really care about or love though." It was a sad thing to admit, and he did so as a whisper, but it was the truth. Keith had always been alone. It was just his way of life.
"What about Shiro? Or Pidge and Hunk? Allura and Coran?" Lance took a breath. "What about me?" Keith looked back at Lance, who was watching him sheepishly.
He had never thought about it actively, but he supposed that Lance was right. He cared about his crew, his teammates. They were his family of sorts. He nodded.
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Keith looked back out the window. Millions of bright speckles dotted the black canvas; constellations he didn't know. It was beautiful are serene, and...Lonely.
"I miss cats."
Keith could feel Lance shift on the seat and looked back at him once again. He was staring at him wide eyed and slightly confused.
"Cats?"
Keith blushed and smiled slightly. "Yeah. There was this one tabby that used to follow me around at one of my foster homes. I loved that cat. None of the planets we've been to have cats, or cat-like creatures. I don't know...It's just something I miss about Earth." Lance was laughing, and Keith was thrilled beyond words to realize it was the bubbly one he only used with Hunk.
Until now.
There was a wildfire raging within him, but Keith welcomed its warmth.
Lance shifted so he facing Keith completely.
"You know we pilot giant metal lion's right?"
Keith chuckled, "Yeah, but it's not the same as a cat! They aren't fluffy, or cuddly, and they don't purr when you scratch their tummies!"
Lance was giggling profusely. He even snorted at one point, making Keith's blush deepen.
Why is he so adorable!
Lance collected himself and adjusted the blanket on his shoulders.
"I miss rain. And the ocean." He thought for a minute. "And doughnuts!" It was Keith's turn to laugh now. He also missed doughnuts. Space goo just wasn't the same.
"What about ice cream? And pie!"
"Yes! My mom used to make the best pies! Apple, strawberry rhubarb..." Lance trailed off, his face falling as he recalled his mother. His voice dropped in volume; his next words almost a whisper.
"I miss my family Keith. And I don't think I'm ever going to see them again." So that was it. That was why Lance had shut himself in his room and had this cloud of depression hovering over his head. Keith felt sympathy for the boy, but couldn't relate to the feeling all that well. Still, he wanted to be there as support for Lance.
"I'm sure you'll see them again. And when you do you'll have all these cool adventures to tell them about. Plus you'll be a universal hero!" Lance half-smiled, but the pain was still there, resting just below the surface.
"Maybe." He was looking back out the window again, and Keith cursed himself for not being better at comforting people. He was totally out of his element here. And seeing Lance's more sensitive side was driving his mind crazy. Before he could try and say something a bit more reassuring, Lance spoke.
"Did you know today was Christmas?"
Keith stared at him, wondering what was going on in this boys mind.
He shook his head, but realized Lance was still staring out the window, so replied.
"No...But I don't really celebrate it. Do you?"
Lance smiled to himself, his face displaying his emotions as he recalled bittersweet memories of past holidays.
"My family, the whole family, would always get together on Christmas. There would be me, mom and dad, my brother and sisters. My aunts and uncles. Grandparents. And then the cousins. I have fifteen you know." He chuckled as he remembered their faces. "Actually it might be sixteen now; my aunt was pregnant when I...left." Lance's face fell, along with Keith's heart. It pained him to see Lance this way, knowing that words would never be enough comfort. So he chose to sit in silence.
"Christmas was always my favourite. We would have huge meals, tell stories, go out and find the perfect tree. Sure there were fights, but that happens when you have thirty plus people in one house. We all loved each other. And then we would exchange gifts. I miss that the most I think. Not so much the receiving part; more the giving. I loved seeing my families faces as they opened their gifts, all of us in one room, thankful for each other and together." Lance took a deep, shaky breath. He turned his head to glance at Keith, who was staring at his hands, unsure of how to respond.
So he didn't.
Keith instead reached out and took Lance's hand in his own, ignoring the buzzers that went off in this head as they made contact. Lance went still, staring down at their hands in shock.
They didn't speak, but the silence wasn't awkward.
It was an acceptance. It was friendship. It was...something stronger than that. The fire inside Keith was threatening to smother him, but he didn't care. He was touching Lance, and Lance wasn't pulling away. In fact, was he leaning forward?
Keith looked up and made eye contact with Lance, who was watching him intently. They both blushed profusely, and Keith panicked. He took his hand back and stood up so suddenly, black spots floated in and out of his line of sight.
"I uh..." he cleared his throat. "I should be going." He turned to leave, his heart pounding in his chest.
"Keith." He turned to look back at Lance, one hand on the door handle. Lance was watching him, a crooked grin on his face.
"Thank you."
Keith could feel his own face lift into a smile, and he nodded.
"Anytime."
He left before his heart had time to convince his brain otherwise.
The preparations were nearly finished when Allura wandered into the kitchen. Hunk didn't hear her approach, and had his back to the door.
"What is all this Hunk?"
He yelped and nearly dropped the spatula he was holding. He turned to face Allura, one hand on his chest.
"What is with everyone on this ship and the sneak attacks?! I have a fragile heart!"
"Oh no! Do you need to spend some time in the healing pods?" She moved forward, reaching out a hand to feel his forehead. Hunk rolled his eyes. Alteans weren't really ones for sarcasm.
"No, no I'm fine. You just startled me is all." She withdrew her hand and stepped back.
"I apologize. I was simply curious as to what you are doing." She gestured to the assortment of dishes and general disarray of the kitchen. Hunk felt a twinge of guilt as he noticed for the first time the degree of mess he had accomplished in the few hours he had been there. It was, after all, not his kitchen.
"Oh...uh...yeah sorry about that. I should have asked first, but I wanted to throw a special dinner tonight. On Earth we used to celebrate this holiday, and it's today. So I figured it would be nice to sort of just...get everyone together and enjoy it. It's been tough being away from Earth." Allura nodded like she understood, and she did. She knew what it felt like to miss home.
"That's a wonderful idea Hunk." She sat down at the island in the kitchen, moving aside some discarded utensils. "What is the holiday? What do you celebrate?" She hair moved as she spoke, and one of the mice that had been in the hibernation pod with her emerged. She patted its head gently, waiting for Hunk to respond.
"Well, we call it Christmas, but not everyone celebrates it specifically. Some people celebrate Hanukah, or don't celebrate at all. It really depends." Allura was giving him a quizzical look.
"How odd." Hunk chuckled and resumed his meal prep.
"Yeah I guess. But humans are pretty odd to begin with so..."
She laughed; an airy, light sound. It was nice to hear. Allura had been so stressed lately, and with good cause. The universe needed rescuing, and that didn't present many opportunities to sit and relax, much less laugh.
"You are indeed correct. Your race is most peculiar."
Hunk smiled as he continued. "Can't argue there. But still, Christmas is mostly a time when people come together; friends, family and the like. You decorate a tree, sit down, have a nice meal, exchange presents, that sort of thing. But mostly it's about togetherness. I just wanted to celebrate that aspect of it. Besides...we could all use a break from space goop."
Hunk turned around when he didn't hear a response. Allura was staring at her hands, one of the mice tucked carefully in them, and was smiling to herself. It was sad smile; a reminiscent one.
"We used to have similar celebrations on Altea. People would gather, and there would be dancing, feasts, stories. I miss those days." She glanced up at Hunk. "If there is anything you need help with just let me know."
Hunk considered for a moment.
"Actually...do you have any spare lights?"
Allura had more than just lights. She led Hunk to a supply room after he was finished in the kitchen, and they stumbled across Pidge on the way.
"Hey Pidge! We could use your help!" Hunk called to her, and she looked up from her computer.
"With what?"
"Just come on."
Pidge groaned but followed the pair. They took several turns, and Hunk was sure he would have gotten lost if Allura wasn't leading them.
She finally came to a stop in front of a large metal door. Pidge and Hunk gasped as the door swung open, revealing row upon row of supplies. It was similar to a bunker, with everything from food to clothing to spare parts.
Allura beamed at them.
"Will this do?"
Hunk nodded, too in shock to say anything. Pidge was practically glowing.
"I didn't know this room existed! Look at all the parts!" She ran to the nearest shelf, fiddling with several seemingly random pieces of metal and tech. She turned back to Allura, a large grin on her face.
"Can I use these?"
Allura nodded. "I don't see why not."
Hunk was also excited. He wanted to have a look around the room as well, but he would have time later. Right now he wanted to find something resembling Christmas lights, maybe even some decorations or a make-shift tree.
Lance was going to be thrilled!
"Pidge, do you think you can hook up some of these bulbs? And maybe help me find something to use as a tree?"
Pidge gave him a confused look.
"A tree?"
"Today is Christmas." Understanding dawned on Pidge's face. She looked around, searching for something they could use. Allura also wandered around the room, pointing out objects and asking if they were fit to use for the celebration.
In no time at all they left the room with arms full, large grins plastered on their faces.
"Where should we set up?" Pidge's voice was barely audible under the mountain of items she was carrying, and she tilted precariously under the weight of the load.
"I have just the place." Allura hurried ahead of them, her long legs carrying her farther, making Hunk and Pidge jog to keep up.
"Wow I don't think I've ever seen her so excited about something other than Voltron." Pidge huffed as she struggled to keep up.
"Hey, she's been under as much stress as us. I'm just glad she's letting us do this."
"Why are we doing this exactly?"
Hunk shifted his load slightly, his right arm beginning to go numb.
"Well, we've been away from home for a while now. Everyone misses their families, their loved ones. We could all use some time to just be together you know?" Pidge didn't reply, but Hunk saw her nodding. She knew the feeling.
Everyone did.
They finally made it to the room Allura was talking about and dropped their items. There were several couches facing a large screen on one side of the room. Pillars acted as ceiling supports around the room, giving it a very rustic feel, despite the advanced technology of the ship. Hunk walked around, scouting the room. He nodded to himself. This would be perfect.
"Alright. Let's start by moving the couches around in a semi-circle, with that screen in the center there. Allura, do you think you can bring up some video feed of a fire?" She nodded and began working away at the monitor.
"Right. Pidge you can help me build this tree. We can hook up these lights to these circuit boards and-" Hunk explained his plan to Pidge, who supplied ideas here and there, and they set to work.
Coran found them some time later, and joined in after they explained what they were up to. Hunk had to go back to the kitchen to check on things, and left the three to continue the decorating. Allura had hooked up the screen to display a small crackling fire, and with the lights dimmed, it looked very much like a real fireplace. There was also some Altean music playing softly in the background that Coran was humming along to.
It was all very cheerful, and it warmed Hunk's heart as he left.
Shiro was sitting at the counter when Hunk re-entered the kitchen.
"There you are!" His hair was wet, like he had just showered, and he was wearing a large black sweater and jeans. It was unusual to see Shiro out of his flight suit, and Hunk wasn't really sure how he felt about it.
But everyone deserved to relax, and Shiro was no exception.
Hunk told him where they were.
"They're decorating. For Christmas. And I'm just checking on dinner."
"It's Christmas? Wow. I had no idea." Hunk nodded.
"They could use some help actually. You want to bring them some hot chocolate?" Shiro smiled and nodded enthusiastically.
"It's not real hot chocolate, not like what you get back on Earth, but it's pretty close." Hunk went about making some, Shiro lending him a hand.
When it was finished they found a large tray to place the mugs on. Shiro was still smiling, and Hunk decided he liked this side of their leader. Like Allura, Shiro had a responsibility to his team. He was their steadfast spearhead. He was the wisest of them all, had the most experience. And in a way Hunk had put him on a pedestal.
But Shiro was just as human as the rest of them.
Well, except for the Galra tech he had as an arm. But Hunk didn't care about that.
He handed the tray to Shiro.
"Tell Allura that dinner is almost ready, and maybe find Keith and Lance."
"They aren't with them?"
Hunk shook his head.
"Lance is in his room I think, and Keith might be with him, but I'm not sure." Shiro got a knowing look in his eye and grinned.
"Ah. Gotcha. I was pretty sure I saw Keith on the training deck, but I'll make sure to knock first, just in case." He turned and left.
Hunk chuckled at Shiro's comment. So it wasn't just him who had noticed the two boy's behaviour towards each other.
Typical. The two densest of the crew end up falling for one another, neither one knowing how the other feels.
Maybe tonight would change that.
Lance was still sitting at the window when he heard a soft knock on his door. His heart leapt, thinking maybe it was Keith again.
He jumped up, suddenly full of energy, and went to open the door.
He was disappointed to find Shiro standing there instead. He was holding a cup of something hot, and it smelled like chocolate. Lance realized then how hungry he was, having not eaten all day.
"Oh, hey Shiro."
Maybe it was better this way. Keith had fled after the whole hand-holding incident, but he hadn't seemed upset. More flustered.
That was Lance's fault. He had been so overcome with emotion that his head was muddled at the time. But Keith had touched him. Initiated contact.
Did that mean anything? Was it just him being friendly? Was Lance over analyzing the whole thing?
He tended to do that sometimes.
Still, he couldn't deny the way his heart had fluttered when Keith had come to speak with him. It was such an out-of-character thing for him to do; and if Lance had not been so distraught over his family, he probably wouldn't have opened up to the boy.
But he had. And Keith had done the same.
And it had been...enjoyable?
No.
It had been wonderful. It had been amazing. It had been so much more than Lance had anticipated.
But what did it all boil down to?
"Did you hear me?"
Lance realized he had zoned out. Shiro was looking at him, concern, and maybe humour, in his eyes.
"Sorry...what?"
Shiro chuckled.
"I asked if you wanted something to eat. Hunk made dinner." He handed the mug to Lance, who took it graciously. It tasted heavenly, almost like hot cocoa, but less sweet, more savoury. Lance downed nearly half the mug before stopping for breath.
Shiro was laughing again.
"C'mon, everyone is waiting."
He led Lance down several hallways before finally stopping in front of a door. Lance's jaw dropped as Shiro opened it, eyes wide as he processed what he was seeing before him.
Decorations covered nearly every surface. Lights dangled from pillars that bordered the room. Bits of scrap metal had been fashioned into tiny ornaments and hung from the ceiling. A fire was crackling happily at the back of the room, where everyone was sitting in couches, watching him. And to the right of them stood a large pyramidal structure of books, wires and scrap parts, glowing softly with twinkling lights.
It was the most beautiful Christmas tree Lance had ever seen.
Memories flooded his mind as he thought back to past Christmas's. It hurt, thinking of his family again, but it was more tolerable this time. He wasn't alone this holiday season. His crew was here with him. They were all in this together.
Lance was overcome with emotion, and he didn't trust himself enough to speak.
"Oh no. We broke Lance." Pidge's voice brought Lance back to reality. He looked at them each in turn. Shiro was giving him a half-smile, Hunk and Allura were beaming, Coran's eyes were twinkling, and even Pidge had a grin on her face. Lance's eyes fell on Keith, who was watching him shyly, a slight blush on his face.
These people were more than his crew. They were his family now.
A tear rolled down his cheek, and Lance began to cry.
"Ah! Lance no!" There was a bustle of motion as Hunk ran over and immersed Lance in a hug. Warmth engulfed him, and then he felt Shiro wrap his arms around him as well.
Suddenly everyone was there, all joining in on the group hug.
When they broke apart Lance was smiling, tears still in his eyes, but happy ones. Joyful ones.
Hopeful ones.
He wiped his cheeks and chuckled.
"You guys suck. Making me cry in front of everyone." He sniffed. "Totally ruins my cool guy motif."
Everyone laughed, and Lance's heart filled with love.
Love for the people around him.
Love for his family.
"Alright, as heartwarming as this is, I'm starving." Hunk gestured to a table Lance hadn't noticed before, bustling with food.
Everyone gathered around the table and sat down, eyeing the various dishes in front of them.
"Hunk, this looks amazing!" Lance couldn't identify most of the dishes, but everything smelled delicious, and he was famished.
"I didn't know this ship had anything else besides that awful green stuff." Pidge said through a mouthful of food. Coran huffed.
"I'll have you know that the Paladins of old loved my food. It made them stronger, more agile, better-" Allura interrupted him.
"Coran, we all appreciate your food," Lance and Keith exchanged looks, both blushing as they made eye contact, but smiles on their faces. Allura continued, "but tonight is special. So let's all enjoy it alright?"
"Amen to that." Hunk said as he helped himself to a serving. Everyone followed suit.
They complimented Hunk on his food, but there wasn't much conversation aside from that. Everyone was too busy enjoying the meal to speak much.
When they had finished they migrated to the couches, and Hunk passed around a second round of space cocoa. Lance made a point of sitting next to Keith, just to see what the other boy did, and was pleased beyond words when Keith scooted closer to him, even if it was just to make room from Pidge.
Hunk sat on his other side, next to Coran, and Shiro took the spot next to Allura, draping his arm casually behind her on the couch. He whispered something to her and she laughed, glancing from Keith to Lance and smiling mischievously.
Lance normally would have cared, but not tonight.
Tonight he was alright with just being with his friends.
His family.
Coran began telling a story of Altean revelries similar to Christmas. Of bright lights and festive dances that would last weeks at a time.
Allura retailed memories of their various celebrations, then the traditions of her once home planet. At one point she began to choke up, the memories too painful, even after ten thousand years. Coran went to comfort her but Shiro was faster, moving to pull her into a side embrace. She let him, which was odd, and Lance made a mental note to tease Shiro about it later. Even Hunk was a bit startled at the scene, and took a long sip of his drink, making eyes at the rest of them in disbelief.
Coran was oblivious, and turned to them, asking about Earth.
"So tell me about your planet. I realize I haven't made any effort to inquire yet. What was it like?"
Pidge was the first to answer, telling him about the immense cities and technologies, though vastly less advanced than the ones on the ship. Hunk had to interfere when they reached the topic of time, disputing the differences between a tick and a second, the debate becoming a bit too heated.
"Earth had tons of wildlife. What sorts of creatures did Altea have?" It worked, and the conversation shifted to varying lifeforms.
Lance wasn't really paying attention at that point. His mind was more focused on the person sitting beside him.
Keith was smiling slightly as he listened to the stories, speaking up here and there with bits of information. Lance noticed his relaxed state, the tension that normally occupied his muscles gone.
Keith had slid forward in his seat as the night had progressed, his head now resting on the back cushions of the couch, and there was a sleepy look in his eyes that Lance had never seen before.
He looked...comfortable. And for some reason that made Lance's pulse quicken.
He wanted to mimic Shiro and pull Keith in closer, but he was scared.
Scared of rejection.
Scared that maybe Keith didn't feel the same.
He hadn't actually asked Keith about his feelings. Maybe because it hadn't occurred to Lance that there could be a possibility of Keith liking him at all, not until after their conversation in his room.
Keith had come to him, had opened up, and it hadn't been awkward at all! He had cheered Lance up, something normally only Hunk could do, especially when it came to his homesickness.
And Keith had been the one to hold Lance's hand.
Lance rubbed his hands together, recalling the feeling of Keith's fingers interlaced with his own. He had been wearing his gloves, but the parts of his skin that were exposed were rough and calloused compared to Lance's, which were soft.
He hadn't wanted them to break apart, and had subconsciously leaned forward.
That must have freaked Keith out, because he had hastily left afterwards...though, and maybe Lance was imagining it, he had looked reluctant to go.
He watched Keith yawn, and of course that made him yawn as well. He quickly looked away, so no one would know he had been staring. No such luck.
"Looks like someone is getting tired." Hunk was giving him a knowing look, and Lance felt his face flush. He would have to talk to his best friend about subtly, or lack thereof, later on.
Allura stood and stretched.
"Actually, I'm exhausted. I need to do some calibration checks before going to bed though. So I'll see you all tomorrow." She made it to the door before turning with a smile.
"Happy Christmas everyone. Hopefully you all enjoyed it as much as I did." And then she was gone.
Shiro had been watching her the whole time, and quickly stood to follow her out.
"I'll help!" He called as he ran after her, and Pidge, Hunk and Lance all shared a look, before breaking out in laughter. Even Coran was smiling coyly, but didn't say anything.
Only Keith looked confused.
"What's so funny?" He asked, and they succumbed to another bout of laughter.
"What!"
Pidge wiped a tear from her eye and shook her head.
"I think we're all just overtired. I'm going to bed as well." She got up and left, but not before stealing a few of the gadgets that had been used as decorations. She had no intention of sleeping, and was probably off to tinker into the wee hours of the night.
Coran also got up to leave, informing them that tomorrow they would be back to regular training, and to get a good night's rest.
Only Hunk, Lance and Keith were left in the room, the light from the virtual fire reflecting on their faces. No one spoke, all content to sit with silence, enjoying the company.
Lance, however, was painfully aware of Keith's presence. He hadn't moved over when Pidge had left, even though the couches now had plenty of space on them. That was a good sign, right?
Or maybe Keith was just tired...
Lance didn't dare look over at him though, not with Hunk watching them both. He glanced over at the other boy.
Hunk was waving his eyebrows, a devious smirk plastered on his face. Lance's eyes widened in shock. How dare he?!
Hunk then looked between Lance and Keith, and winked. Too late, Lance realized what Hunk was planning, and started to shake his head, but Hunk was already standing up.
"Well. I'm going to hit the hay. Don't stay up too late you two." He winked at Lance again, and Lance scowled at him, furious that Hunk was being so obvious. He was so getting revenge later on. He watched as Hunk left, listening to his footsteps fade until he couldn't hear them anymore. Then it was just the two of them.
Not that he minded being left alone with Keith.
Now that he wasn't feeling as depressed, Lance wanted to explore the emotions he felt for Keith.
But he didn't know where to start.
An awkward silence spread out in front of them, but Lance didn't know how to break it.
Thankfully, Keith did.
"Are you feeling better now?"
Lance turned to look down at Keith, who was watching him with sharp eyes.
Intelligent eyes.
Eyes that he could get lost in.
Lance blinked, trying to clear his mind.
"Yeah, actually. I mean, I still miss home, but it feels...easier. If that makes sense." He shifted so his legs were spread out in front of him, stretching them and sliding down on the couch, so he was almost eye level with Keith.
Keith nodded, and looked away, and Lance felt his heart drop a little. He wasn't sure what to say to the boy. 'Hey do you like me or what' seemed a little too blunt, but Lance had never been good at this part. He flirted obnoxiously, but was usually ignored. This was unchartered water, and Lance had never been a good sailor.
Keith must have sensed the tension in the air, and broke through it once again, saving Lance from his thoughts.
"Hunk did a really good job. That was probably the best meal I've ever had." He said, giving Lance back his hope.
So Keith still wanted to talk to him. He wanted the conversation to continue.
Lance jumped on the opportunity.
"Right!? Hunk is an amazing cook. Did you see Coran's face though?" Keith laughed as they recalled the meal.
"I thought his mustache was going to fall off. He's so protective of his goo."
Lance chuckled again.
"The decorations are pretty cool too." Keith got up admire the tree, and Lance watched him. The blue glow of the lights, mixed with the red from the fire, draped him in a flattering shade of purple, and Lance was beside himself.
Since when was Keith so attractive?
Lance cleared his throat and looked away, feeling his face flush anew.
He needed to find out if Keith felt the same. He had to. Or else he was going to explode.
He got up and joined Keith at the tree, but couldn't look at him just yet, so he busied himself by admiring the work Hunk and the others had put into it.
It was quite ingenious really; the lights were hooked up to tiny circuit boards of varying power, making them twinkle at different rates. The base of the tree was mostly books intermingled with large items that Lance couldn't identify. They looked advanced though, and he wondered how valuable they would be back on Earth.
The rest of the tree had been fashioned by interconnecting wires and scrap metal, all interlaced with lights. To top it off, a large crystal had been fashioned to sit inside a star shaped contraption, giving off a soft glow.
Lance stood on his toes to examine it further.
"Is this a Balmeran crystal?"
Keith glanced up at Lance, and then towards the item in question.
He whistled.
"Wow. Yeah it is. Allura must have given it to them to use."
"Aren't they like...pretty important?"
Keith shrugged.
"She must have felt that this was an important time to use it. I mean, it is a special day."
Lance nodded, still baffled that Allura herself would allow them to use such an item as a tree topper. It gave him a sense of gratitude; that she respected them and their traditions, and wanted to share in them.
Just like a family.
Lance smiled to himself, and Keith noticed.
"What are you smiling at?"
"Nothing."
"Lance."
Lance glanced at him, noticed the expression Keith wore, and caved. It was hard not to when a pretty boy was staring at you with one eyebrow cocked.
He smiled again and leaned against one of the pillars.
"It's just, well...I never thought I would be happy that I made the decision I did. To sneak out that night, and basically get whisked away to far off lands." He studied his hands, "I miss my family so much, and Earth too, and I just feel so guilty all the time, for leaving. For abandoning them. But I keep going, because I made my choice, and I have to live with it." Keith had moved closer as Lance spoke, so that they were about a foot apart. Lance continued, unawares.
"But tonight made me realize that I'm not alone out here. We all miss home. And, in a way, we're all we've got, you know? We're each-others family now." He shrugged. "I don't know, it just makes me feel better inside knowing that we're all in the same boat. Or, well, giant alien warship."
Keith chuckled at that, and Lance finally noticed how close the two of them were. He hoped the blush on his face wasn't as noticeable as it felt.
"And who knows, maybe one day I'll get to go back. We'll get to go back." He finished. Keith fiddled with pockets.
"We can eat doughnuts."
Lance grinned.
"Yeah. All the doughnuts on Earth."
They stared at each other, Keith slowly edging forwards, Lance frozen in place against the pillar. Neither one dared speak as the distance between them closed.
So close. Keith was just a few inches away. It wouldn't take much. One step. That was all.
He was about to take it when a loud noise made them both jump.
Hunk was hastily picking up a tray with some dirty dishes on it.
"Sorry! Sorry! I forgot my...uh...lucky mug in here. Just wanted to get it...haha. Ok goodnight!" He scampered out of the room faster than Lance had ever seen him move. It would have been impressive if his motives hadn't been completely false.
Had he been spying on them?!
Lance could have forgiven him, but his moment with Keith had been interrupted, and when he turned back towards the boy, he noticed that Keith had moved back a ways, and was avoiding eye contact.
Hunk was in so much trouble.
"I should go. It's pretty late." Keith moved to grab his jacket, which he had taken off earlier that night. "Merry Christmas Lance." He walked passed him, heading for the door.
But Lance was not going to let him escape this time.
He reached out a hand and grabbed hold of Keith's arm, and in one smooth motion spun him around so that he was securely tucked in his arms.
And then he kissed him.
It started off hard; mouth on mouth, both boys startled by what was happening. But as they relaxed, the kiss deepened, becoming softer, and then more urgent.
Keith reached his arms up and draped them around Lance's shoulders, pulling him down until their lips settled into a more comfortable position.
Lance forgot how to breathe, his thoughts only on Keith. He trailed one hand down Keith's back, pulling him closer, while the other ran through his hair.
It was surprisingly soft, and Lance twisted his fingers in it, enjoying the feeling of the long hair on his skin. Keith groaned against his lips, the sensation of having his hair played with adding to the kiss.
Their bodies were pressed flat to each other, each fitting perfectly.
Lance felt his cells buzzing wherever Keith touched him, like small bolts of lightning. Up and down his neck. Along his jaw. Keith's hands were fire, and Lance ached to be burned.
When they broke apart, they were both lightheaded and breathing heavily. Keith's face was almost as dark a red as the jacket he had dropped on the floor, but he was grinning widely.
Lance grinned back.
That was one way to find out if someone liked you.
Risky, but so worth it.
"Merry Christmas to you too." He said in reply to Keith's early statement, and leaned down to kiss him again. Once. Twice.
He never wanted to stop.
But he didn't want to overwhelm Keith. Hell, he didn't want to overwhelm himself. His heart was beating so fast he may have well ran a marathon.
He stepped back, suddenly shy. Keith looked around uncomfortably, and they both laughed nervously.
"This is..."
"Awkward?"
"Totally."
They smiled at each other, and quickly looked away.
Good thing Hunk wasn't there. He would have been rolling his eyes and laughing at them.
Lance took a seat on the edge of the back of the couch and glanced at Keith, who was bending to retrieve his jacket.
Damn.
They made eye contact again, but this time it held, and Keith bit his lip subconsciously.
It drove Lance insane, but he didn't want to smother Keith. It had to be mutual.
Keith cleared his throat, looking down at his jacket as he spoke.
"I just remembered that we didn't exchange gifts."
Lance was startled by the statement, having momentarily forgotten that it was Christmas, which was impressive seeing as they were in a room filled with holiday décor and the like.
"Oh yeah...But there's not really a Wal-Mart just hanging out in space, so I forgive you."
Keith was blushing again, and Lance watched him edge a bit closer. His heart threatened to burst at his next words.
"I could-" Keith cleared his throat again. "I could be your present, if you want." He locked eyes with Lance as he finished, looking embarrassed at his words.
But Lance was ecstatic.
He reached for Keith's hands, interlocking their fingers like Keith had done to him earlier, ignoring the jacket as it fell once again.
He tilted his head, their faces level now that he was leaning on the back of the couch. His words were barely a whisper:
"Only if I get to be yours."
Keith did the rest. He stepped forward between Lance's legs and their lips met once again. It was a sweeter kiss this time, more tender. Lance wrapped one leg around Keith's calf, holding him in place.
Keith's lips parted and Lance took the invitation. He tasted like chocolate. Their hands remained entwined even after they broke apart, neither one wanting to separate fully.
Keith bit his lip again and Lance licked his, making Keith blush again. Lance chuckled and happened to look up, where he spotted a peculiar looking ornament. He pointed up at it.
"Is that...no way." Keith followed his gaze.
"What is that?"
It was mistletoe. Someone had fashioned it out of metal and wire, and hung it over the couch, directly over top of where Keith and Lance were positioned.
Hunk.
That sly dog.
But Lance was laughing. It was such a Hunk thing to do. His attention to detail was immaculate.
He made a mental note to thank him later, all previous animosity forgotten.
Keith was still regarding the decoration.
"It's nothing. Just means I get to do this more." He leaned in for another kiss, and Keith happily obliged.
They never made it back to the dormitories. At one point Lance leaned back too far and slipped down the front of the couch, his long legs sticking straight up as Keith nearly choked on his own laughter.
Lance grabbed his arm and swiftly pulled him over the couch as well, so that they were both facing the virtual fire again. Keith was entangled in Lance's lap, but made no effort to move, instead leaning down on top of Lance to kiss him again.
It was wonderful. It was amazing. It was more than Lance had ever anticipated.
And it was in those moments that he didn't regret his choice. He would do it all over again, if it meant he could have Keith.
And maybe that was selfish of him. Maybe he should feel guilty about having those thoughts. And maybe he would, but not right then.
It was Christmas after all. And Lance felt he deserved to be a little spoiled.
Besides. Keith wasn't complaining.
Both were too exhausted to contemplate getting up, and they fell asleep sometime in the wee hours after midnight; Keith draped over Lance like a heated blanket.
They didn't care if someone found them like that, cuddled up on the couch in compromising positions.
They were both content to just be near each other. To be able to hold the other in their arms.
They drifted off, millions of miles from Earth, feeling perfectly at home.