A/N: It's been a while, hasn't it? Well I am here with a one-shot that I am hoping you guys will like. Well I really am hoping because this story is pretty dark, and based off the song Teen Idle. Nonetheless I hope you guys might be into this. Its very much appreciated for a review, thank you and please enjoy :)
Adolescence didn't make sense a little loss of innocence.
~Teen Idle, Marina and The Diamonds
A beautiful day, a happy day. Well not for this teen chipmunk. Brittany Miller was definitely not herself these past few months. Bickering with her sisters, bickering with her boyfriend... oh no wait, ex boyfriend. It had seemed like everything was going down hill for her and no one seemed to understand. People may have thought she had it all but really, what was the point of all those things if you couldn't be happy.
Brittany stared out her window, looking at everything from a distance. "Oh would you look at all those wonderful happy people?" She spoke, the sarcasm was just so obvious. "Look at all the couples? Must be great being with someone." She laughed. "I'm content with just me, myself and I."
Jeanette turned towards her sister. "Brittany stop it."
"Stop what?" Brittany asked. "Stop speaking the truth?"
"No stop being so negative, its not good for you" Jeanette explained.
"Well you wanna know what else isn't good for me?" Brittany was already annoyed. "Being positive."
Jeanette then rolled her eyes at her sister. "Whatever, Brit."
"Listen Jeanette." Brittany said capturing her attention. "I'm going to tell you how it is. The world? Bullshit. People? Assholes. No one really cares about you unless you're pretty or dying and thank god I qualify for the beauty." She smiled at the thought of herself, or at least when she actually fixed herself. "But honestly that's all we have in this world." Brittany continued.
Jeanette blinked a few times. "Brittany you have some serious problems."
"No. My problem is that this earth we live in is a piece of shit."
"Brittany please be quiet." Jeanette was really getting tired of her negativity and the crap that always came out of her mouth.
"Fine, don't believe me. Believe that everything is perfect, when in reality its not."
"Okay, whatever you say." Jeanette said. "Goodbye."
She then left the room, leaving Brittany alone with her thoughts.
'Poor Jeanette. Sweet & innocent Jeanette.' She thought to herself.
"Probably still a virgin." She whispered, then continued to browse through her phone. She then felt immediate guilt. That was her sister she was thinking wrongly of. "Shit." was all that she could say before she buried her face into her knees and began to sob quietly.
Tears running down her face, she was used to all of it. The tears, the pain. There was no point in wearing makeup anymore if it was just all going to get ruined. There was no point in going out and having fun if she was just going to be a bitch to everyone and then cry about it like a little bitch.
She heard the door knob turn and she quickly wiped her face of all the tears and put her hood on. She wasn't going to let anyone see her like this. She had to much pride on the line. She was who all the guys wanted and who all the girls wanted to be. She was Brittany Miller. The Brittany Miller. Yet it didn't mean anything if she was faking it all. The happiness. Faking that smile and faking that happy personality.
Eleanor walked into the room. "Hey Brit, Jen & I are going to meet the boys down at the ice cream parlor, wanna come?"
Eleanor thought it would be good for her. She had noticed that there was something off about Brittany a month after she had turned 16.
Brittany glared at her sister. "Why yes of course I would just love to go!" She pulled tugged at her clothes. "Looking like this, yes totally! Com'n Eleanor."
"God, Brittany." Eleanor was not going to take this attitude from her. "Look I get that you haven't been your best lately but that does not give you the right to act like an asshole towards me or anyone else."
Brittany rolled her eyes. "Okay."
"You're impossible, y'know that?" Eleanor admitted.
"Cool." Brittany buried herself into her phone.
"I was only trying to help you, I know what you're going through."
But Eleanor didn't know. No one knew. And it wasn't in Eleanor's place to say that she understood because she didn't.
"You don't. You don't know shit Eleanor, so just leave me the hell alone, have fun with your friends getting ice cream like little kids." Brittany snapped. "And I'll handle myself, I don't need your dumbass help."
"Do what you want Brit." Eleanor flung her hands up in the air. "I give up." She then walked away.
"I rather stay inside all day then face the world and its bullshit." Brittany scoffed.
Then she felt it. The pain in her heart, the tears forming in her eyes, anxiety building up. She hated herself, she was nasty, and mean towards her sisters, towards her friends.
"I hate myself, I hate myself." She cried shaking her head. "This isn't how its supposed to be. I don't want to be like this! I don't!"
Why did this have to happen to her? She wanted to be a kid again, she wanted to be a free spirit again. Happy. That was the keyword. She wanted to be happy again, but that couldn't be done. She wasn't a kid and she wasn't a free spirit. She was a bitch who could care less about the people around her. She wanted to go back to when everything was simple. She was only 16 and yet she felt she was growing up to fast. She wasn't even a virgin anymore.
The tears were running fast down her face. Unstoppable. "Why!? God, why!?" She cried out. "16 years and you haven't done anything!" All she did anymore was think about burning up that bible.
She couldn't do this anymore and she had no one. "I don't have anyone, no one cares." Her tears could probably be heard a mile away but she didn't care. This is what she does when no one is home. She cries and feels pathetic. "Its all my fault. I pushed everyone away." She sobbed even more.
'And no one understands.' She thought, her cries had become screams at this point. 'Why even be alive, if no one cares about you?'
She was about to make the biggest mistake of her life and there was no one there to stop her. All she thought was what was the point of living in a world where she couldn't be happy. Having a boyfriend who only used you to get his way. Her youth was wasted, she had nothing else to live for. It was done, everything is done, and she wanted to be done too.
She then began thinking of her ex boyfriend. All the lies that he had told her, only to find out the truth about him and the truth about everything else.
"Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit!" She screamed out. "You piece of shit, you made me like this!"
She cried harder. "I'm done..." She whispered clenching her fists.
Brittany then made her way to the bathroom. "No one gets it, no one understands."
Brittany's sobs only got louder and louder with every thought. "Why be a burden on everyone else."
No one was even there to stop her from making the biggest mistake of her life; The ending of her life.
"No one cares, no one can stop me." Brittany cried.
She looked through the cabinet for these sleeping pills that she had used when she suffered from insomnia back in the 8th grade, but there wasn't really time for reminiscing.
Memories. She wants to get away from it all.
She looked harder for them until the bottle appeared. Wiping tears as new ones began to shed she tried desperately to open the bottle. She had remembered that back when she was required to take this medication, Ms. Miller would always open it for her.
She struggled with trying to take the cap off. Struggling and crying. "I hate my life, I hate myself." Was all she could say before putting the bottle down and sobbing away. Nothing goes the way she wants it to. Not even her freaking death.
The chipmunk rocked back and forth, crying uncontrollably and her body shaking. "I want to die!" She cried out.
Suddenly she felt hands on her. "No. I would miss you too much."
She turned around to see a red clad chipmunk, glossy eyes, and a scared look on his face.
"Alvin..." Brittany cried then gripping him tightly into a hug and continued sobbing onto his shirt. "Oh Alvin, I'm sorry about everything! I'm sorry I was a shit friend, I'm sorry I blew you off for Eric! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
"Shh." Alvin rubbed her back. "It's alright but don't you ever do this again Brit."
"Blow you off?" Brittany asked looking up at him.
"No. Try and end your life." Alvin spoke, voice shaky. "You would be ending mine."
"I thought you hated me." Brittany confessed.
"Of course not!" Alvin denied. He wiped a tear away from Brittany's eye. "I was hurt but I would never hate you."
Brittany cried more. "I'm so sorry!"
"Its okay, Its okay." Alvin tried calming her down. "But Brittany... why?"
Brittany looked at Alvin. She was ashamed of herself. "I didn't want to be here anymore."
"What do you mean?" Alvin asked.
"Everyone gave up, I had no one." Brittany cried. "My sisters were sick of me, I was sick of me." Brittany gripped onto Alvin's hand. "I pushed everyone away."
Alvin kept wiping the tears running down her face. "I'm so sorry."
"And the worst part was that I had lost my best friend." Brittany burst into tears again.
"You didn't lose me. I needed time that was all." Alvin explained. "God, I'm such an ass."
Brittany slapped his shoulder. "Alvin, you are not an ass." Brittany said. Tears were still running down her face. "I'm the ass. We had something going, and I blew you off for the biggest douche alive."
"I should have never left you." Alvin felt guilty. If he had not heard crying from walking by the Miller's house while he was on his way to ice cream parlor he would have lost her for good and that was something that he could not think about.
"I'm such selfish brat, a narcissist." Brittany said. "All I do is think for myself and leave others in the dust."
"Oh Brittany please stop." Alvin asked her.
"God, I'm going to die alone." And with that Alvin crashed his lips onto hers.
This took Brittany on by surprise but she quickly began to follow his actions. Brittany didn't know how to explain it but this just felt right. It felt perfect, she felt the butterflies in her tummy & she felt her anxiety, her sadness go away. At least for a little while.
Alvin then stopped for a moment, and looked right into Brittany's eyes. "You're not going to die alone. Not today and not ever."
Brittany smiled at him and at the thought of how much he really cared about her. "I promise."
"I can't imagine a life without you Brit." Alvin cracked. "If you die, I die too. Why would you want that?"
"No, no. Alvin I'm so sorry." Brittany cried.
"Please don't leave me." A tear ran down his face. "I need you."
"Alvin don't cry! You're not going to lose me." Brittany said. "I'm more alive than I've been just being here with you right now."
"Good. But please Brittany!" Alvin was anxious and you could tell by the tone of his voice. "Don't ever do this to me again." Alvin said in a shaky tone.
"I promise." Brittany meant it.
The two got up, shared a long hug and then made their way out of the bathroom. This was exactly what Brittany needed to realize that she was being a complete idiot. Just because someone feels alone doesn't mean they are and pushing people away doesn't help the problem either.
"You really got to get out more." Alvin laughed.
"Shut up!" Brittany laughed with him.
"Come down with me to the ice cream parlor?" Alvin asked.
Brittany thought about what she was wearing but at this point it didn't matter to her. It had been a long day and all she wanted to do was spend time with Alvin and apologize to her sisters. She also feels like a complete ass for what happened with Eleanor earlier. She wasn't going to think about it though. She was going to forgive and forget. She wanted to forget about her almost suicide, and move on and she wanted her sisters forgiveness.
"Alright Alvin but promise me one thing." Brittany asked.
"Sure what?"
"Please don't tell anyone about this." Brittany begged. "Can we please just act like it never happened."
"Of course not." Alvin smiled. "All I need is for you to be sent away to some nut ward."
Brittany chuckled. "That would have been bad huh?"
"Duh." Alvin laughed. "But I will be checking up on you a lot."
"Aw, you care."
"Of course I do, and so do Miss Miller, your sisters, my brothers and even Dave, Brittany." Alvin said. "We would be so lost without you, you're a real teen idol y'know?"
And with that the two made their way to the ice cream parlor hand in hand and Brittany was ready to change, forget about the past and move on. This was surely not going to happen again. She knows better now that life is such a precious gift that can never be wasted. You only get one life so live it to the fullest, make mistakes, and don't let the sadness win. You need to be strong, don't lose hope and be happy.
