The Posters Under the Bed
By Cameron Moss
Victor
I was a different man before I met Yuri. My life was repetitive, all about me all the time, and it got boring. After a long while, I lost inspiration for new routines, maybe because I was too lost inside of my own self to reach out to others for help. I didn't know where to turn, until after The Grand Prix final I won about a year ago, when I first noticed Yuri's movements. He moved like his body was creating music, and that moment I saw him strip dancing with Chris at the banquet proved to me that I needed another person in my life.
It was lonely, being the number one skater for so many years. I didn't even have to try to impress people on the ice anymore, for they would always be surprised no matter what I did. I needed to try something new, something so surprising that nobody would expect it.
After Yuri's video skating Close to Me leaked online, I watched it multiple times, wondering how lucky I was to see Yuri's body move so elegantly yet again. I wanted to see it more. Rumor had it that he would be retiring soon. At the time, I knew I couldn't let that happen.
That's why I came to Japan, to become Yuri's coach and find him a routine that would best fit his talents. Only later on did I find out that Yuri completely forgot about getting drunk and flirting with me at the banquet. This was awkward, because the only reason I was brave enough to make moves on him was because he was brave enough to approach me at that banquet. Most skaters worship me, and are too afraid to approach me for advice or even a simple conversation. That's why I usually dislike the banquets; even though I consider myself social, it is hard to keep up a decent conversation with a group of people who all worship you.
It has been a month after Yuri won silver at the last Grand Prix Final, and right now, we are training at his friend's ice skating rink close to the hot spring resort. I get to see him skate almost every day, bathe in the hot springs, and sleep with Maccachin every night. Not to mention the pork cutlet bowls. Everything seemed like a dream come true. I've never felt so fulfilled, so happy. No gold medal could ever replace what I was feeling at this moment.
When did I first fall for him? Was it when he flirted with me at the banquet, or was it later, when his video skating my routine leaked online? I can't remember when it first started, but I was sure I wanted to be with him forever when he gave me that ring, a token for being my coach, in Spain. Even though we weren't married, it felt like we were. We lived together, saw each other most of the day, hugged a lot, saw each other naked in the hot springs; the only thing missing was the admitting-it-to-each-other part.
How could I tell him what was going on inside of my head? Recently, I've been dreaming about sleeping with him so much that I wake up all sweaty, ruining Makkachan's beautiful brown fur. When he swallows his food at the table, I can't stop looking at his moving cheeks, lips, neck. I feel tempted whenever he sits next to me in the hot springs, too, underneath the heat of the water, our naked bodies only inches away from each other. I just wonder if he feels the same way.
Yuri
I've looked up to Victor ever since I was a kid. When he was number one in the world, I skated on the ice and tried copying his routines, hoping that one of these days, I would get to skate on the same ice as him. I just wasn't aware that I would, eventually, skate on the same ice as him, but together with him, not as a competitor, but as… something else.
When he first asked me to skate to his new Close to Me program, I was a little shocked. What was he implying, doing a couple's skating event with me? What would the public think, after all of the photos they've taken of us doing strange things together? This event would just top the cake, I thought, even though deep down, I really did want to skate this new program with him.
With just enough pressure, I was pushed into it, and we performed the piece on local ice in Japan. The routine went viral and a lot of people showed up to watch it, since Victor was in it and I was now second in the world (next to Yuri Plisetsky). There was definitely a spark between us- even I could tell before we skated this new routine. Everyone saw it. Maybe that's why everyone seems so interested in me now, not just because I have Victor as my coach, but because we have such a strange relationship. Even now, I am not certain what it all means.
After the last Grand Prix Final, we've been training together at the local rink. We train together most of the day, but sometimes, we take periodic breaks and go into town for lunch. Those days are the best days, because I get to talk casually with him and learn more about him. The closer I get to him, the more I want to stay near him forever. He was like a light in my life I never wanted to burn out.
When did I realize I had these feelings for him? Was it when I was younger, staring at all of those posters I had of him on my bedroom walls? Or was it after that, when we first met at my house, when he kissed me on the ice, or maybe when I gave him the golden ring as a gift? I'm not entirely sure, but whenever I'm around him, I feel fuzzy inside and get these images in my head that I know are wrong for a student to feel for his coach. Sometimes, when we skate together, he gets too close to me when he tries to correct my form, and I feel my face get redder than an apple. I wonder if he's ever noticed that, or if he was too busy with the routines to see that I was nervous around him when he moved close to me.
Watching him skate makes me feel like I'm in heaven, complete next to the one person I desired to have near me all of my life. Seeing him do it at my home rink takes those emotions to an entirely new level; I sometimes see that rink as my origin, the core of myself as a skater, and seeing him move so gracefully across that ice reminds me of how he has always been an inspiration to me.
Is this what they call love? I am not sure. But I do know one thing, and it's that I have feelings for Victor, and I don't know how much longer I can keep quiet about that. How long can this relationship last if we're hiding from each other like this? I'm not certain if he has feelings for me, so I'm not too sure if it makes sense to tell him, seeing as it could ruin our student-coach relationship. So instead of acting, in these past couple of months, I've been quiet, casually following his routines and listening to him during practices and sitting next to him during meals and watching him in the hot spring. One day, I hope I'll feel confident enough to tell him. But now isn't the right time.
Walk Home
"Yuri, hurry up! You're slow today!"
Victor yelled from the hair salon in the middle of town. They decided to go shopping before heading back to the house, because Yuri's mother was cooking and she hated it when they were late for her special dinners.
"Ok, I'm coming! Remember, I'm the one carrying the heavy bags!"
As the two skaters walked through town, people who recognized them turned their heads and stared. This action sometimes made Yuri uncomfortable, since he was shy by nature, but Victor was always warm to their fans when they approached them asking for autographs. Over the past hour or so, they were stopped more than five times on the road home. To Yuri, skating was not as tiring as dealing with the fans. He wondered if Victor felt the same way.
"You're not a very open person, are you?"
Victor asked as they neared the resort.
"What do you mean by that?"
"That family who asked for your autograph, you didn't really want to give them the time of day, am I wrong?"
"It's not that," Yuri responded as he neared the door. "I'm just not very good with fans, that's all. I've never been very good at interacting with other people."
"But the day we met, you weren't like that."
Victor's remark sent a chill down Yuri's spine. What exactly was he implying?
"I wasn't like… what?"
"You know, isolating. You didn't try to push me away, like you seem to do with most other strangers."
Yuri never noticed this about himself. It was true, he was never very good at making friends, let alone talking with strangers, which was why he got so drunk at the banquet years ago. He wasn't good in social situations. But why was he fine around Victor?
"Maybe it's just because I've always admired you, Victor. I've looked up to you since I was young."
"I know that." Victor remarked, brushing a hand through Yuri's hair. He blushed a little, wondering if Victor noticed, and he did. "We've been talking a lot more than usual, since we have more free time off season, but if there is something you really have to say, don't be afraid to say it, ok?"
Yuri shied away, looking down at his own two feet as Victor's index finger pulled away from his hair.
"Ok."
"Let's go inside, it's getting cold out here."
Victor remarked, letting Yuri step inside the warm house first. It was winter, but the winters here weren't nearly as cold as the winters in Russia. Victor kind of liked that, in a way. It reminded him that he was living somewhere new, outside of his home country, with the person who he never wanted to let go. It also reminded him of how different his own life was, and how his whole career would change after coaching Yuri. He hoped that it would change for the better.
Yuri's Bedroom
As Yuri helped his mother and father clean up the dishes, Victor sneaked into Yuri's room, searching for Maccachin.
"Maccachin! Where are you?"
He called out, whistling a couple of times. The smell of the stew Yuri's parents cooked permeated throughout the entire house, making Victor's stomach growl. Even though he already ate, he felt like he burned off a ton of calories biking, walking around town, and skating with Yuri. He would probably grab something else to eat, after he found Maccachin.
"Come on out, Maccachin!"
He said again, searching through Yuri's room for his lost dog. Usually, when Maccachin was missing, he would hide underneath the dining room table to find food scraps left behind from previous meals, or jump inside of the bathtub for some coolness on his skin. Yuri's parents liked keeping the house very warm, especially in winter, so Maccachin wasn't exactly used to the warmth. He liked the feeling of the bath's white, cool surface on his skin.
But Maccachin wasn't in the bath, or underneath the table today. That's why Victor figured he would go into Yuri's room, since Yuri sometimes liked to hide snacks in secret areas around the room. He had a problem with eating, especially in front of people, because of his insecurities about weight. Victor wondered if hiding food from other people and eating alone was healthy, in the first place. He wasn't sure.
"Maccachin, you silly dog! Come on out!"
He checked the dresser, and then Yuri's pile of smelly laundry, and then underneath the bed, but Maccachin wasn't there. Sighing, he placed the cover down and shook his head.
"Where could he be?"
Victor asked himself quizzically. That dog was something. Really something.
Suddenly, when he stood up, something sharp poked the edge of his bare foot. Curious, he bent down again, and lifted the edge of Yuri's bed sheet up. Underneath was a pile of posters, ones that he seemed to be hiding from Victor. With widened eyes, Victor looked through the posters, the dim light from above only barely lighting up his own face.
"Yuri, how many posters of me do you have?"
Victor asked himself quietly. For some reason, knowing this fact made his heart pound faster. "Is Yuri really that into me?" Victor asked himself, brushing his silver hair to the side. It began to stick, because Victor was sweating with anticipation, imagining the things Yuri could have done with these posters. Blushing profusely, he shoved the posters underneath the bed, knowing very well that what he was thinking was wrong.
"No. Yuri is my student. I can't think of him this way."
He backed away from the bed, and turned out the lights. Shutting the door behind him, he neared the main hallway, hands in his pockets, as Yuri approached him from the kitchen.
"Victor, are you ok?"
Looking up, he stared at Yuri for a second, attempting to hide the flushing in his face. He suddenly understood what Yuri was feeling every time he blushed in front of him.
"Yeah." He said, quieter than usual. "I'm fine."
"Are you coming in the hot spring tonight?"
"Sure."
Yuri smiled, patting Victor's shoulder kindly.
"Ok, see you there."
Yuri said, leaving Victor's side to change in his bedroom. Still a bit shocked that Yuri was hiding something so important, he backed away from the door, nearly bumping into Yuri's sister.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!"
Victor apologized, realizing that he knocked over all of the books she was carrying. Ever since Victor came back to Japan, the family has been cleaning up the house more and more since so many customers have been arriving recently. He was bringing in extra bucks.
"It's fine, I can pick them up."
"No, allow me to help."
He picked up a couple of the books that fell from her hands and passed them over. Somehow, she saw right through his flustered attitude. After he finished cleaning up, and apologizing profusely, she leaned in and asked him,
"Victor, is there something going on between you and Yuri?"
"Uhm," he stuttered, not knowing he was capable of such awkwardness. "I need to leave."
"Wait, Victor!"
She yelled, but he didn't seem to listen. Storming past her, he turned the corner, heading straight for the hot spring. Sighing to herself, she turned towards the workroom, opening the door quietly.
"Weirdo."
The Hot Springs
Victor waited for Yuri, anticipation building up in his system. For some odd reason, the emotions were on a rampage today, and he couldn't seem to calm them down. Even after a drink or two, he still didn't feel like himself. Ever since he saw those posters, he's been feeling worse, as well. Why was Yuri so embarrassed about those posters? Why, at this point in their relationship, was he trying to hide them?
"Hey Victor."
A familiar voice entered the foggy area, and the familiar naked body of his student appeared. Shutting the door, he approached the side of the hot spring and swung his dry towel over a branch. Victor couldn't even bring himself to look Yuri in the eye.
"Victor?"
Yuri repeated, shocking his coach back to earth.
"What, did you say something? I'm sorry, I was spacing out."
"Uhm, it's fine."
Yuri said, dipping his feet into the water. Victor watched intently as Yuri cupped his hands, pouring the water down his smooth body, feeling the steam fill his pours, calming him down. Victor didn't feel as calm, at that moment. His jaw was slack, his tongue dry, and his eyes wouldn't stop looking over the younger male's body, especially his back.
He wanted to touch his back.
"Victor?" Yuri's voice pierced through Victor's subconscious. "You're acting really weird. Is the steam getting to you?"
"No, I'm fine."
Victor shied away, placing his hands behind his head as he attempted to avoid eye contact with Yuri, afraid he wouldn't be able to hold back. Yuri realized that something was going on. Something he wasn't sure he liked. Did Victor know something?
"Victor, you're not telling me the truth, are you?"
"Why would I lie to you, Yuri?"
An awkward silence ensued between them, and Yuri broke it eventually, when he realized exactly what was bothering Victor.
"Did you see something in my room, when you were looking for Maccachin?"
"N-no."
Victor stuttered as Yuri approached him, black hair swiped back and eyes narrowed in interest. The younger male smiled a lot, making Victor uncomfortable. It probably made him happy to see Victor more uncomfortable than he was, since it confirmed that Victor also had feelings for him.
"C'mon, tell me the truth!"
He remained silent, especially when Yuri's hands touched his shoulders. Victor's heart pounded at the speed of light.
"Ok fine, how about if you tell me what you saw, I'll tell you a secret of my own. Sounds fair?"
Yuri's inner self shuddered at the idea he just spewed out in the open. Why did he even dare say such a thing!? He couldn't tell Victor, not like this, not now! Why did those words pop out of his mouth!?
"Ok." Victor agreed, sitting up and pushing Yuri's hands away, praying that he wouldn't get any closer. "I saw… your posters. The ones you hid under your bed."
"Oh." Yuri muttered, putting his hands together as he backed against the side of the hot spring. "That's awkward."
"It doesn't have to be!" Victor nearly screamed. "I mean, if you don't think it's awkward then it doesn't have to be!"
"Ok, well you told me what you saw, so I guess it's only fair that I go next."
He paused, letting the steam fill up his dry lips before speaking.
"Victor," he began, not taking his eyes off of him. "Remember when you asked to sleep with me a couple of times before last season began?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I wanted to."
Yuri admitted, shocking Victor into his arms, his cute heart-shaped mouth yelling out congratulations.
"Yuri! That was so brave! You're much braver than me!"
"But you were the one who asked-"
"No, I only asked to sleep with you, I wasn't implying, well, sleep…"
Yuri blushed, realizing the mistake he made.
"Oh, well, uhm, I actually meant that… umm… oh gosh…"
"It's fine! We can sleep together tonight!"
"Wait!"
Yuri yelled, spraying water everywhere as he stood up, following Victor out of the bath. Victor tossed Yuri's clean towel in his face, nearly ordering him to dry off, and backed towards the door.
"I'll be in your room in an hour!"
"Wait, Victor!"
Slam! Victor shut the door, not listening to a word Yuri wanted to say. Slapping his forehead, Yuri blushed profusely at the thought of being with Victor… that way. It made his stomach churn, his blood warm, his face red. He couldn't stop thinking about what he just said.
But, at the same time, it made him feel great that Victor just called him brave. What a complement! He felt like his idol just bestowed upon him a gold medal for most confidence, or something. Placing his hands to his heart, he held the towel close to his chest, staring off into space. What was going to happen? He didn't know, but he did know one thing. All he wanted in this world was Victor Nikiforov. And he was about to get him.
Yuri's Bedroom
"Yuri…"
Victor cooed, smoothing over Yuri's hair after they finished. For some reason, Yuri couldn't stop shaking. It was his first time, and it hurt a lot, but he really wanted to do it, no matter what would become of the act. He was much larger than Yuri expected, so it didn't feel as comfortable as he thought it would, but after today, Yuri felt certain it wouldn't hurt as much ever again.
"How are you feeling?"
The naked man next to him stroked his hair, bestowing cute kisses across the younger man's forehead. Yuri smiled, a little red blush popping up on his face as he rested his nose against Victor's.
"I'm great."
"That's good to hear. I was afraid that your parents would come in, hearing all of that noise."
Yuri backed against the wall near the window, his back slamming into the sharp edge.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I was just shocked that you said that. Was I really that loud?"
"Yeah." Victor admitted, shocking Yuri yet again. Placing a hand on his side, Victor sensually brushed Yuri's hips and moved up towards his cheek. "But it's ok. Everyone's first time is different, Yuri."
"Hey Victor?" Yuri asked.
"Yeah?"
"I have a request."
Victor's eyes lit up as Yuri spoke.
"Can you sleep with me, the actual kind, now? The kind you said you wanted to do all along?"
"Of course."
Victor grabbed Yuri's hair and forced him into his chest, kissing the top of his head. Yuri's nose buried into Victor's skin, and his hands rested against the taller man's back. For a moment, all they listened to was the ticking of Yuri's alarm clock. And they sat just like that, for a long, long while, until they heard a scratching at the door.
"Maccachin!"
Victor yelled as Yuri stood and opened up the door. The dog raced into the room, and slept right on the footrest of the bed, his tail wagging like a flag. Victor pet him kindly, smiling as Maccachin drooled a bit on Yuri's bed sheets. Yuri didn't seem to mind, though.
"I guess, now that we're all here, we can finally sleep."
Yuri admitted, gently kissing Victor's lips. Victor smiled as Yuri stared at him, inches away, the smell of his breath entering his lungs. There was nothing greater than this, he knew. Nothing in this would could replace the feeling of warmth he possessed right now. For once in his life, Victor didn't feel lonely. He felt complete, just having Yuri sleep next to him.
"You're going to win the next Grand Prix."
Victor thought to himself as he watched Yuri drift off into dreamland, his face soft and innocent, beautiful yet casual. He couldn't help but rest his forehead against Yuri's, feeling his warmth touch every single corner of his colder body. This beautiful man was going to win the next Grand Prix.
"I just know it."