Our Disgusting World
Disclaimer: Naruto (c) Masashi Kishimoto.
"Not all scars show. Not every wound heals."
Disgusting.
Disgusting has unanimously been decided the most suitable word for this. If the others found it innapropriate or insulting, you honestly didn't care. They weren't there, were they? They had no idea, couldn't fathom what had happened. Because they simply had to have been there to understand. As a kunoichi, you're trained to handle such situations. You thought the death of Asuma would brace you for such instances, but it's only broken you, hasn't it? It hurts even more, because you know the provess of grieving all to well. You'll cry for a while, then you'll feel empty and blame it on the tears that have escaped you.
Then you'll become lazy, taking comatose-like naps to soothe yourself. You escape in your mind before crawling back into the real world. And now, you'll go through it all over again. But why does this time feel...different? You seem to notice everything around the event, the minuscule details that normally, you paid little attention for. Temari says you're using it as a distraction, something to avert your thoughts from what happened.
You're not sure how, but you're in the hospital, staring at something but not really looking at it. You hear footsteps, fast ones that barely touch the ground. Suddenly, Lee's in front of you. He's angry, infuriated and demanding answers.
"What happened?"
You don't even hesitate. "Hinata dropped her kunai?"
He looks at you, strangely, because you didn't even answer his question, did you? He looks exasperated and impatient, an expression that doesn't fit well against his face. Lee doesn't get exasperated; Lee's happy. Positive. He takes a few steps towards you, grabs your shoulders and stares into your eyes. You're staring, but you're not seeing him. Hearing but not listening to him.
"Ino, what happened?" His voice is controlled and he's speaking slowly. A child could understand.
"Temari started cursing."
"What? Ino, what happened?" he's shouting, screaming, yelling; everything. Everything that Lee's not. You're still there, looking at him as if he has two heads or something. Because you just told him what happened, right?
Because when that happened, Hinata did in fact drop her kunai to cry. And didn't Temari begin to curse uncontrollably? She did, you're sure of it.
"She's dead, Lee. Let it go," Temari's calm, blank voice just ripples into the room. Her expression is lifeless because there's nothing to smile about. Nothing at all. Lee ignores her, refusing to believe what not only Temari, but Hinata and Sakura have said. Not until you confirm it.
All he needs is one person to actually admit that it never happened. Just one. But you can't do that. You can't just lie about this, not even for a nice person like Lee. He did nothing to deserve this. It's just not fair.
"Ino, please. Tell me what happened."
"Sakura performed jutsu's."
"Ino-."
"They didn't work."
He jolts away from you, as if he had been electrocuted. He looks around, taking up far too much space in the hospital hallway and will probably upset Lady Tsunade. He looks at everyone, taking in their blood stained clothes,--her blood. He knows that, but he's still looking, searching, waiting for someone to tell him it's a joke. Just a sick prank that shouldn't be dragged on a second longer.
But no one's laughing.
And then, because he is breaking, because he is, in fact, dying, he cries. That brave, masculine sob that you can't hear, but see. His shoulders rise and fall, chest trembling before he descends and settles on the floor.
You hate it when boys cry.
Hinata's a wimp, so she starts crying too. Sakura sniffles, but she's an emotional person so you'll forgive it. Temari doesn't cry; can she even? Instead, she leans against the wall and stares into space, into you. You don't cry; you've done enough of that already. You're grateful that Gai sensei isn't here. Two boys crying would certainly kill you.
The boys arrive later, but it's not for Tenten. You're they're team mates and they haven't seen you all day. Hinata's still sobbing, hysterically even and Kiba's not skilled with consoling. Neither is Shino, so he'll just stand by and stay quiet. Shikamaru and Choji keep bugging you, demanding what's wrong and why you're not your usual, loud and outspoken self. Naruto and Sai prod Sakura, but her words just don't come out right. The Kazekage's in a meeting, but it's not like Temari needed her brother's comfort anyway.
Right?
Choji's speaking to you, and yet again, you're hearing but not listening.
"Are you all right?"
"Blood smells metallic, acrid."
"What?"
"Everything's red."
Shikamaru puts a hand on his shoulder, giving a heavy sigh before shuffling to Temari. She doesn't blink, she's still calm. It doesn't faze her and neither will his words of wisdom or comfort.
It doesn't faze her.
Suddenly, it hits you. Everything floods back at this very moment. The missing nin, sprinting through the forest with an arsenal of weapons. Sakura and Hinata flank you, sprinting just as hard and with eyes just as fierce through the thick woods. Temari and Ten-
"She's dead!" You're shouting, screaming at the top of your lungs. It's similar to drowning, really. You're flailing at the water's surface and you're slowly descending. That's what this is, isn't it? You can't stop, even though everyone's taring at you. Some are startled, some are confused. You're so lost, so far gone and so damn stupid; you keep shouting the same thing over and over again. "She's dead! Tenten's dead! She's gone!"
-Ten will cut him off at the end. You're going to trap him; a kunoichi blockade. When he figures it out, it's much too late. He screeches to a stop and that's when the show really begins. Sakura thrusts herself into the air, fists drawn above her head as she torpedo's into the earth and towards the ex-shinobi. Her black gloves give a harsh grating sound as they rip into his jaw.
His head spins, almost off of his neck as he crashes into the saturated brown forest floor. You circle him, leaving Hinata to do the binding as you make small talk. Temari's beside Tenten, laughing at a joke that was probably personal. Chuunin exams did little to subside friendships.
A disgusting, popping sound rips through her chest. The end of a kunai peers through her white blouse and a small red stain grows at an alarming rate. Entrails, guts, blood,--everything that's within her. Body, mind, soul; revealed. Hinata's shocked and drops her kunai. Sakura sprints over to heal Tenten. Temari's cursing, eyes boring venomously into the limp nin's body. He's dead now.
Tenten's flipped over, and explosive kunai's are embedded into her spine. She wouldn't have walked if she lived.
Sakura healed. Hinata cried. Temari cursed. And you?
What did you do?
"Stop, Sakura. It's too late. She's gone."
You of all people should know about out of body experiences. It's been a few hours since you've returned from the mission and you still don't remember saying that. It seems so unlike you, so beneath you to simply state the obvious. To bring the bad news and nothing more. You didn't cry, fuss or help. She wasn't your friend, no. You barely knew the panda resembling the kunoichi.
But that was before the mission. Because at that moment, she was more than your team mate or fellow Konohagakure citizen. She was your friend.
A harsh, impatient hand strikes against your face and you stop screaming. You see Tsunade, aggravated beyond comprehension with blood and dirt stains marking her 's not her blood, of course. She's in the middle of an operation. You're hindering it with your insatiable screams. Shut up.
And she walks off.
You stay there, immobile. Far from embarrassed by the blunt order.
She has no clue what just happened. Tenten's dead. That nice, sweet, strong willed girl is no longer a member of the population. She had so much determination. Right up there with Naruto. If you had that kind of spirit, you could beat Sakura any day. You could have Sasuke any time. You could run Konoha with an iron fist. A good person died and the world kept spinning.
A wonderful person died, and your small group of friends are the only ones effected.
You don't bother looking for Neji; Shino brought the message. He's busy. Too busy for this and too busy to check on Hinata. They'll find a replacement for Team Gai, just like team seven did. She's expendable, a cigarette bud, toilet paper, etc.
The funeral was nice. They described Tenten in ways that honestly, you never would have. The speaker's droning, tired and holding a sermon for a stranger. A kunoichi that died in the line of duty; the end. Tsunade didn't show up, and why would she? Still, it would have made Tenten happy, wouldn't it? It still makes knots in your stomach to think about that, so you try not to.
You spent a few hours with her, mostly to brief on the mission and organize it. But in that small amount of time, you found out a lot about her. Her idol was Tsunade, and it was insanely difficult to be the team mate of not one, but two prodigies. It was hard to want something and be incapable of getting it. It was hard to reach for a star and know you can never grasp it. But she did, or at least try.
Every day. With a smile.
The speaker didn't know a damn thing about her.
The casket descends and the funeral's attendants are disgustingly small and composed for the duration. It doesn't rain, the sun is shining. It's bright, happy and lasts about two hours. Everyone leaves, some quickly, some dwelling.
You stay. Just to stare at the disgusting grave marker. There's no last name; just a simple lable that wouldn't gain a passerby's attention. It's disgusting.
This is disgusting.
A/N: (August 21, 2009) Decided to rewrite it. It's a bit longer, but I fixed the point of view and a few grammar farts. Still not top notch, but I'm slowly making my way there. Thanks for the kind reviews and the favorites. They made me happy. I wrote this fanfiction because Tenten simply doesn't get enough love or attention in the serious. I know Kishimoto plans on using her more in the future, but until then, Tenten will receive love via fanfiction/art. There's probably a few grammatical errors, so feel free to point them out to me.