October 18, 1846
Lord Melbourne closed his eyes and leaned his head on the tree trunk against his back, letting the late morning sunlight shine on his face and the numerous gray streaks in his dark, curly locks, the songs of the numerous birds on his Melbourne Hall Estate filling his ears.
This morning, like every morning since his retirement from public life, following breakfast, he took a walk around the grounds as well as he was able—a minor stroke three years prior had affected the mobility on his right side, though by some miracle he had retained his speaking and his mental capacity, though initially lost, had been returning to full strength in the last year.
Usually, once he had made one pass around the house, his "therapy" he called it, Melbourne usually tossed his cane aside and sat down on the grass, leaning against one of the great trees on the property to watch the numerous varieties of birds that made the property their home as well, especially the Rooks.
Melbourne wasn't sure how much time had passed before he suddenly heard the sound of small footsteps approaching behind him—a woman's feet by his experience, crunching the fall leaves under them as they went.
When they finally stopped, Melbourne blinked open his eyes and waited.
It was then that he heard a voice he did not expect from the other side of the tree.
"Lord M?"
Melbourne's heart nearly exploded out of his chest at the sound of the familiar female voice.
But, it couldn't really be her could it? It had been so long…
Years, in fact.
Moments later, 27 year-old Queen Victoria rounded the tree trunk and stood above him with the sunlight behind her like the rays of an angel.
Melbourne's eyes softened and a small smile crossed his face. He reached out for his cane and immediately made an effort to pull himself up.
Victoria saw the effort and quickly placed a hand on his arm to steady him as he came to his feet in front of her.
When he was securely balanced on his cane, he bowed his head in homage to her majesty, then raised his eyes to meet her gaze, the Queen giving him a sweet smile as she searched his face in return—both parties seemingly in awe that they were finally seeing each other face to face after the passing of so much time.
"You look almost exactly the same…" she whispered, her eyes, even after all this time, still filled with care and devotion for him.
Melbourne found himself lost in their deep blue depths for a long moment before he pulled himself to reality and smirked, "Age and infirmity have taken their toll, I'm afraid, Ma'am. But, may I say that you look exactly the same? Maybe even a bit taller, in fact."
Victoria smiled at the compliment, then leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially like she did with him when she was a teenager as she pointed down to her feet, "It's the shoes."
Lord Melbourne laughed and the Queen joined in as she came to his left side and entwined her arm through his.
As their laughter dissipated, Victoria nodded toward Melbourne Hall, "Allow me to walk you back?"
"It would be my honor, Ma'am," Melbourne replied automatically and took a step forward, supported by his cane and his Queen.
"You, know, you are no longer my Prime Minister, Lord Melbourne, nor are you bound to me by any duty. Therefore, after all that you have given me over the years we shared together—guidance, friendship—I must insist that you just call me, 'Victoria'. I'd say you've earned it."
"Yes, Ma'am," Melbourne smirked and Victoria sighed with a slightly exasperated smile, knowing it would be hopeless to get the old Whig to change his ways now.
They walked in silence for a few more moments before Melbourne asked, "To what to I owe the pleasure of your visit, Ma'am?"
"Albert and I were visiting Derbyshire as part of royal tour. I had heard you had returned here to your family seat to convalesce after your stroke and, well, I couldn't possibly pass up an opportunity to pay a visit to my favorite Prime Minister and my oldest and dearest friend, could I?"
Melbourne smiled as Victoria leaned her head on his shoulder for a moment, then let it rise again as they continued walking in measured steps.
"Albert is furious, that we stopped, of course. And even more furious that I came here on my own, but I had to see you and assure myself that you were well…" Victoria inclined her head toward Melbourne in the way she always did when she asked a question she already knew the answer to and asked, "Are you well?"
Melbourne took in a sharp breath. It pained him to lie to Victoria, but because he still loved her in the deepest part of his body and soul, he would do it.
Since his stroke, his future was uncertain. The physician had told him he could live for years, but most likely it would be months. He had been very fortunate the first time around. But, everyday, there lingered the possibility of another stroke that could be even more debilitating, or most likely, end his life.
"I am well," he lied, in good form, "I have good days and bad, but being here," he continued, looking around at his surroundings, "in the woods of my childhood every day…watching the Rooks…" he turned back to Victoria and she smiled a sad smile as she remembered the love birds she and Melbourne had once talked about that day at Brocket Hall, "it's done me some good."
"I'm glad," the Queen replied, looking away for a moment before she said, "You know, as you have no close kin, you are always welcome to come back and stay with us at the palace. You would have the best medical care, that I promise you, and I could look after you... And I'm sure you would enjoy the company of the children, especially Vicky, she's so smart—"
"I'm well cared for here, Ma'am," Melbourne said softly, turning to meet her gaze, telling her with his eyes that though her offer is appreciated, he couldn't possibly impose on her family or let her see him in his final days.
Another long moment passed before Victoria sighed, then leaned in and whispered in his ear in a sad tone, "Forgive me for not sending any letters these past years…it was an unforgivable sin on my part…"
Melbourne closed his eyes for a moment as he shook his head, lamenting, "There is nothing to forgive, Ma'am. You are a young beautiful Queen, a wife and a mother now, and I am an old man—"
"You're not so old to me," Victoria interjected immediately her voice cracking with emotion, "You never were. I loved you, Lord Melbourne, and part of my heart will always be yours."
At her words, Melbourne slowed his pace as they came to the gravel drive that led up to the front of Melbourne Hall, then finally stopped, turning toward Victoria.
Leaning on his cane with his right hand, his face softened as he saw the tears welling in her eyes.
Suddenly, without hesitation, he took an unsteady step forward, closing the distance between them as he brought his left hand gently to the side of her face and she closed her eyes at his touch, the electricity that never truly died, sparking between their skin.
Victoria's lip trembled as she leaned her face into his hand, and, when her eyes opened, a single tear streaked down her cheek as she took his hand from the side of her face into her own and kissed it.
"Dear Lord M," she said looking up into his face, "I hope you know that I still haven't forgotten…"
"Neither have I, Ma'am," Melbourne replied, trying to keep his emotions in check
Bringing their entwined hands down in front of her, Victoria looked at them for a few moments before she continued, "I'm afraid I have a confession to make."
"Ma'am?"
"I recently spoke to Sir John Halmett, your physician, when he was in London..." She didn't look up as her words trailed off
He couldn't hide the truth from her.
She knew.
"This is most likely the last time I'm going to see you, isn't it?" she asked tentatively, her eyes till cast down
Melbourne bit his lip, cleared his throat, then said, "Most likely…Yes, Ma'am."
Victoria's face crumbled slightly as she continued to look at their hands, then she sniffed back her tears, pulling one of her hands free to wipe under her eyes before she found the courage to look up at him again.
"Well, then…" she said, mustering courage into her voice, "We better make it time well spent, haven't we? I have brought a gift for you, Lord Melbourne."
Melbourne raised an eyebrow as Victoria entwined her arm through his once more and planting a soft kiss on his cheek, led the way up the path toward the house, the gravel crunching under their feet.
# # # # # # #
"Thank you, Marc," Melbourne nodded, receiving a cup of tea from his valet before the man stepped back and, bowing to the Queen, left the two in Melbourne's study near the fireplace.
When the door shut behind Marc, Victoria turned toward Melbourne, setting her tea cup on the side table between them.
"So, what is this gift, then?" Melbourne asked with a twinkle in his eye before he took a sip of his tea.
"You're such a terrible flirt, Lord M," Victoria mused before she turned in her chair and pulled her travel carpet back onto her lap and opened it.
Melbourne chuckled at her comment and immediately started coughing when the tea he had sipped, ended up going down the wrong pipe.
"You deserved that!" Victoria laughed then smiled as she watched Melbourne finally regain his bearings and set his tea cup on the table next to hers.
When Melbourne had cleared his throat, coughed and turned back toward Victoria, he saw that she was holding four, tall stacks of letters bound with twine.
"What are those?" Melbourne asked, narrowing his eyes in curiosity
"These…" Victoria announced, leaning forward to the edge of her chair and passing the letters onto his lap, "Are your letters."
"Mine? But—" Melbourne started as he received the letters, then stopped when he pulled apart the twine of one stack and, as he looked through the first few letters, noticed that the envelopes were all addressed to the same person in fountain pen –'Lord M'—and on the back were dated every week for the last six years.
Lord Melbourne let out a short breath, then turned to Victoria and she smiled and nodded.
"I—" he started, but emotion prevented him from continuing
After a moment, Victoria said, "Albert and Mama thought that sending letters to you after you left office and my confidence, was inappropriate. But, I had written you a letter just about every day for the first three years of my reign...how was I to just stop? So, I found a loop hole. I continued to write to you, Dear Lord M… I just didn't send the letters. However, seeing as our remaining time together may be short, I wanted to ensure that you finally received them. Thus, here I am and here they are."
Melbourne bit his lip and tried to blink back the tears that now welled in his eyes as he met the Queen's gaze.
There was a long silence between them before Melbourne placed a reverent hand on the letters in his lap and said, "Thank You."
Victoria nodded solemnly in return then her face suddenly lit up as she clapped her hands together, "Now! How about I read a few to you?"
Lord Melbourne smiled and, plucking one of the letters from the top of the stack, handed it to her.
"Victoria…" he said softly, acknowledging her for the first time by her name
Victoria looked at him with surprise for a moment, the envelope resting between their hands in mid-air for what felt like an eternity before she finally received it into her lap, her eyes never leaving Lord Melbourne's, "Thank you, William."
Melbourne nodded then settled back in his chair, rubbing his forefinger over his lip thoughtfully and focusing his dark eyes on her majesty as she cleared her throat, brushed a stray strand of hair out of her eyes and pulled the first letter from the envelope and unfolded it.
"May 12, 1842...My Dearest Lord M…"