Sirius loved coming back to Hogwarts. The boarding school in the countryside was so cut off from the rest of the world and he felt like he could truly be himself. In the Black household, not home because when asked he would always say Hogwarts was his home, he was forced into a little box of who he had to be. The box had barely any room for Sirius to breathe let alone move and try to be himself, for the box was almost as small as his parents minds. He was the poster boy for the 'prestigious Black family' and if his parents saw him now they would have a heart attack.

Because Sirius liked to wear skirts and he didn't see anything wrong with that, neither did James and his parents and so Sirius had decided it was no big deal. Skirts were cute and so was he, it just made sense to put the two together.

He knew that his family would never be able to accept it, that they would hate him instinctively. He was fine with that, fine with the disgust and sheer contempt, but he wasn't fine with the bruises that would ensue and so Sirius kept it to himself, kept it to Hogwarts. And just like he knew they wouldn't be okay with it, he also knew that they would eventually find out but had decided to just enjoy their ignorance while he could.

And yet sitting there on the train to Hogwarts as James rambled on about how good Lily Evans' hair looked today, Sirius couldn't help but wish that he didn't have to hide something so simple about himself from everyone at home. He was itching to change out of his jeans but he knew it would be better to just wait than go through his suitcase to find the certain skirt he wanted.

He managed to drag himself out of his thoughts when he noticed that James was staring at him expectantly.

"Uh, what did you say?"

"I just asked if you were okay, like how are things at home? Any better?"

"Just normal, awful but not unbearable," Sirius shrugged, picking at a loose thread on his shirt.

James' expression softened as he placed a hand on the other boy's shoulder and Sirius just smiled at him weakly.

"Anyway, tell me again about the exact colour of Lily Evans' hair in the sunlight."

James must have sensed that something was wrong because he gave him a look that said "we'll talk later" but then he launched into another in depth explanation about how Lily's hair wasn't quite copper, there were complex highlights and undertones, and left Sirius to wonder whether this was the wisest thing he could've distracted his best friend with.

~•~

James wasn't completely oblivious, at least he didn't think so. He knew there was something wrong with his best friend, in fact he had spent most of the headmaster's speech wondering just what it could be; but he had to admit defeat because he simply couldn't figure it out and Sirius wasn't exactly great at opening up to anyone. James had asked, and Sirius had just avoided talking about it so he had decided that the best thing to do would be to take his friend's mind off it for as long as he could.

And so that was how he had ended up in the Great Hall, sticking fries up his nose while everyone else enjoyed their food. He didn't regret it, even if Lily Evans saw him because at least this way he might make her laugh, right?

But of course that thought had only briefly registered in his mind, for the main thing occupying his thoughts right now was Sirius and just how he clearly wasn't okay.

James would do anything in the world to make sure Sirius was happy, even if only for a moment. His friend didn't deserve all the sadness he had endured and despite how much he protested and said he was fine James knew he wasn't.

However, if Sirius refused to talk to him there was very little he could do but stick a couple of fries up his nose and hope for the best. James just hoped they'd have a chance to talk later when they were alone in their dorm.

~•~

Remus could never bring himself to care that much for the feast. Sure, the food was nice but that was all it was: food. He could never even bring himself to eat that much of it, the number of calories he was consuming looming in his mind and making him lose his appetite. He didn't have an eating disorder, he just skipped a few meals here and there, surely everyone did it? It was no big deal to him, it was just something he'd done since he was fourteen when he suddenly realised how much skinnier most boys his age were. He was just trying to keep skinny and healthy, which to him were basically the same thing, but no one needed to know because it was no big deal.

One thing Remus did like about the feast was Dumbledore's speech. The welcome back to school had always seemed so hopeful and sincere and Remus had found himself admiring the professor from a young age.

The headmaster stepped up to the podium and silence immediately spread over the room. "I would like to take it upon myself to personally welcome each and every student to Hogwarts, whether you have just started or you are returning. The students here are the future of society, of the world itself, and we are here to teach you and help you grow into the wonderful young adults that we are sure you will become. We sincerely hope that you enjoy this next year at Hogwarts and that we, as a school and a community, can continue to work together and thrive. Now Filch, if you would like to inform the students of the rules," Dumbledore bowed his head slightly and stepped away from the podium.

As Filch began to talk about the hundred new rules of the year and the thousands of old ones Remus just tuned out, unable to even pretend to care. Instead, he looked further down the Gryffindor table and saw the infamous James Potter experimenting with how many fries he could stuff up his nose before any of the teachers noticed as the equally as infamous Sirius Black giggled and rolled his eyes. Remus raised his eyebrows slightly and chuckled before looking back at the teachers and realising that Dumbledore was about to start talking again.

"All students should also be aware that this year we have taken more new students than ever before, and are therefore forced to make some room adjustments. Instead of rooms of two and three, you shall now be in rooms of four and five. A sheet containing the information about your new sleeping arrangements shall be posted in your common rooms. Now you may resume feasting," the professor smiled as Remus just said a silent prayer that he wouldn't be roomed with someone awful.

~•~

"Who the hell are Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew?" James scowled and Sirius almost laughed at how ridiculous he looked.

"No clue about Pettigrew but Remus is in my art class, he's pretty cute," Sirius admitted nonchalantly, trying to convey an air of 'I totally don't spend all art lesson staring at him and it's totally not why I'm failing'.

"Is he decent?"

"Better than us that's for sure," he laughed.

His friend did nothing but groan. "He better not be stuck up because I'm not gonna fucking stop the pranking no matter what he says."

"Chill man, he's cool," Sirius waved a hand airily.

"Wait... did the great Sirius Black just admit that someone other than himself was cool?" James exclaimed, throwing his hands up. "It must be the end of the world!"

"You're so fucking dramatic!"

"You wouldn't want me any other way," he replied cheekily and ruffled his best friend's hair and fuck, Sirius was so going to kill him for that.

A/N

Ayyy wolfstar story in the making /_(•-•/_)

What even are my chapter titles idkkkk

I've totally fancast Matty Healy as Sirius for this fic oOPS

Next chapter will be longer because I fucking suck at intros, smh me

Feedback is seriously appreciated, thanks pals 3