Title: Understanding
Author: Tahlia
Pairing: None
Warnings: None
Feedback: Always helps a suffering ego.
Author's Note: This is the first of a small arc, so it may seem like it's waiting for something at the end. The next part will be out whenever it wants to be written.
The small dorm room was quiet and still, the sun shining in through the raised blinds giving the room a homey feeling. The only features in the tiny room were two twin beds, a desk, and a bedside table. Nonetheless, the room radiated a peaceful atmosphere.
That atmosphere was abruptly shattered as an irate figure, clothed in all black with sparkling violet eyes and a long braid, entered the room at a quick stride, followed closely by an equally incensed boy with unruly brown hair and dark blue eyes. It was obvious that a disagreement had been initiated between the two, and that the black clad boy had retreated to the room in an effort to avoid an altercation. It was equally as obvious that the blue-eyed boy had no intention of dropping the issue.
"Why are you the way that you are?" Heero demanded, placing his bag down on the desk and staring at the braided boy walking towards one of the beds in the small room.
The boy turned, mid-stride, and faced the angry figure still waiting for an answer. He flung his arms out, elbows bent, hands tilted up toward the ceiling in a gesture of frustration before answering, "Because this is how I have to be!" The braided boy's arms dropped to his sides in a defeated manner as a look of weary sadness entered his eyes. When he spoke again, the anger had all but faded, leaving an imploring for understanding in its wake.
"This is how I choose to deal with the things I have to do. How can you chastise me for that? Why can't you, of all people, understand?"
Heero let go of the bag and took a few steps away from the desk. 'How am I supposed to understand you? You are nothing like anyone I've ever met. I don't know what to expect from you.' Heero shook his head in frustration, banishing the thoughts. "You're constantly getting yourself purposely noticed when you should be keeping a low profile."
Duo's face flushed with anger. He took a few menacing steps forward until he and Heero were only inches apart. His voice was very controlled and quiet when he finally responded. "Heero, by controlling how people see me, how people think of me, and how people remember me, I have covered my ass better than you could ever hope to do for yourself," he explained in a slow, patronizing fashion. "You think being cold, distant, and rude to people makes them overlook you or think of you as just another average boy? Think again. People remember you, but, unlike me, they remember you in a negative light. You make yourself more suspicious to these people with your actions, more suspicious than I will ever be. So, don't you dare lecture me on the cover that I choose to present to the world or my method of coping. I do things my way, because my way works. If you can't deal with that, then remove yourself from the source of your disturbance. I'm not changing."
Duo turned around and walked over to his bed. He dropped his bag on it and started to unpack his various belongings without taking any notice of the other boy in the room. 'Does he have a point?' Heero wondered. He stood and watched Duo, memories of flashy beach getaways, a prominent refusal to attend simple birthday party, and repeatedly brazen suicide attempts running through his mind. He searched for a suitable response. Finding none, he turned and calmly left the room.
Duo stopped moving when he heard the door shut behind Heero. He stared down at the shirt he held in his hands, reflecting on what had just transpired. He dropped the shirt onto his bed next to the bag and sighed, running his hands through his long bangs.
He plopped down onto the bed into a lazy sprawl and stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought. 'Why does he get to me so easily? I never would have blown up like that before. Why does he have to be such a God damned hypocrite? Telling me I'm the one that stands out! I'm just being normal, fitting in. What so wrong with that? Shouldn't we take advantage of the opportunities we have to be normal 15 year old boys? What's with that guy?'
Duo turned over onto his side, propped up by one elbow, and pulled his yard long braid over his shoulder. He began to pick at the base of it haphazardly. 'Why does the guy push me away all the time? Any normal person would be happy to have someone to share all this shit with. Who else is gonna understand? Doesn't he get that I'm just trying to be his friend?' Duo stopped fidgeting with his braid and flopped down onto his back, head resting on his folded arms. He glared at the ceiling as he began to review his own thoughts. 'Yeah, right. That's why I just told him to get lost. Now I'm gonna feel guilty; just what I need.' Duo gave a long suffering sigh before sitting up, hands on either sides of his thighs gripping the edge of the bed tightly before thrusting himself to his feet and moving toward the door.
"Dammit."
-----
As Heero walked down the stair well of the dorm building, his head was swimming with a mad rush of discombobulated thoughts trying to force their way to the forefront of his mind, but all were forcibly shoved away for the time being. His face was an empty shell as he walked through the lobby, ignoring the polite greetings of a few of his classmates. He left the dorm building and headed over to the large park on the outskirts of campus. He wanted to be alone when he finally let all the eager thoughts scrambling around in his head make their voices known to him.
As he neared the park, Heero began to scout it out for a good place to sit and clear his mind. There was a small grove of cypress trees with a bench almost hidden in the middle of them, sufficiently out of sight enough to appease Heero's need for privacy at the moment. He walked over to the trees and entered the grove. He sat down on the bench and leaned his head up to look up at the sun through the sparse openings between the leaves of the tall trees. He let his body relax, eyes closing, before indulging himself in thought.
'I should wait out here for a bit. Duo needs to cool down before I go back. As much as I dislike his continuous efforts to draw me into conversation, I care even less for the tension that radiates off of him when he's upset about something and keeping his mouth shut. It's almost more nerve wracking, especially when I'm the one he's upset with.'
Heero's eyes slowly slid open, but he retained his reclined position so he could stare at the backdrop of the sun shining through the leaves once again. 'He shouldn't have gotten defensive. I was merely asking a question to further understand the pilot that I often have to work with on missions. I don't like unpredictable people, and he is definitely that. I don't understand how his mind works. That makes him dangerous.'
Heero spread his arms out along the back of the bench he was sitting on, letting his eyes slide closed once again, a peaceful expression stealing over his features. He absorbed the feeling of the cool breeze blowing through his short hair, ruffling it ineffectively as it flopped back into it's usual position, only slightly manipulated by the reclining angle of his neck.
'I shouldn't have been so direct in my approach. Duo doesn't respond well to anything he considers an attack on him. That was an oversight on my part. Next time I'll be more subtle. It will take more time to fully understand him following that method, but it should make things easier in the long run.' A small smile crept its way onto Heero's face as he sat there. 'Duo Maxwell, you are a mystery I will solve.'
-----
Duo walked out of the dorm building and paused, trying to think of where Heero would retreat to. He racked his memory for any clues as to where he may have gone. After a moments thought, he recalled Heero's unexpected attraction to nature. He'd noticed Heero's appreciation of the great outdoors. His mood seemed to perk up almost imperceptibly when he was around plants or bodies of water, even when he was just outside under the warm rays of a genuine sun instead of the generated artificial light filtered throughout the colonies.
Duo directed his steps toward the only park on the campus. When he arrived at his destination, he looked around for Heero. At first, he didn't see anyone and was disappointed. Then, he spotted a slight movement through a small grove of trees off to his right.
Duo quietly approached the grove, making sure his footsteps weren't audible. If the person sitting in the cluster of trees wasn't Heero, he didn't want to get himself noticed or appear as if he were spying on them.
As he approached, the form hiding in the trees was confirmed to be Heero. Duo watched Heero sit down on the long wooden bench. He seemed to be taken over by a sense of serenity almost as soon as he leaned his head back. Duo had never seen him so relaxed. Duo stood, watching Heero from behind the trees.
'I've never seen him look so human before. Who woulda guessed that a guy so tense all the time could ever just let go and enjoy himself. He actually looks happy. As happy as that guy can look, anyway. My God, he's actually smiling. I don't think I've ever seen him smile when he wasn't blowing something up.'
Duo stood back, hands on his hips as he continued watching Heero. 'Guess he wasn't upset after all.' He decided to make himself known anyway to get it all over with. He couldn't stand leaving things unfinished. Awkwardness was not something he tolerated.
-----
Heero tensed as soon as he heard the shuffling of feet moving in his direction. He was immediately on his guard, relaxed position a thing of the past. His head whipped around to face the source of the sound. He relaxed slightly when he saw Duo, a hint of surprise adorning his otherwise carefully neutral features. He had not anticipated Duo seeking him out after their argument; rather, he expected to be avoided until the braided youth had gotten over whatever had him so agitated.
Duo approached Heero a bit apprehensively until he was sure Heero was aware of his presence. When Heero turned around and shot him an inquisitive glance, he donned his trade mark grin and cleared the rest of the distance between them. "Mind if I sit?" he asked, gesturing to a vacant spot on the bench next to Heero.
Heero shook his head in response, and Duo sat down. Heero's eyes never left him, even as Duo directed his stare straight ahead of him at the trees surrounding them. Duo took a moment to collect his thoughts before he spoke.
"I just came out here to apologize. I shouldn't have gotten upset with you or chased you out of the room like I did." He glanced at Heero. Seeing no response, he continued. "You just gotta understand something, Heero. Repeated criticism gets on my nerves. You don't have to jump on me every time I don't do something according to your criteria for being a good soldier. I get that you don't approve of my methods all the time, but that doesn't make them wrong. Does that make sense?" Duo finally turned and looked Heero in the eye.
'So, he can shrug it off if I criticize him once about something, but if he feels that I'm harping he gets frustrated.' Heero regarded him for a moment before slowly nodding his head, comprehension flooding through him. "I'll try to keep that in mind."
Duo smiled widely and hopped up from his seat on the bench, facing Heero as he stood. "Great! Now that that's all settled, you wanna get something to eat? I'm starved." He gave Heero an encouraging look as he started to walk backwards slowly. 'Back to normal, I guess. Bye, bye real Duo. Ya gotta be happy-go-lucky now.'
Heero stood up and brushed off his pants before joining Duo. 'There is definitely more to Duo than he lets on,' Heero thought as Duo chattered on about what kind of food they should get, 'and I am going to find out what it is before this war is over.'
"Italian sound good?" Duo questioned. "I have a hankering for pasta all of a sudden." At an affirmative nod from Heero, the pair set off.
The two boys walked out of the grove and through the park in companionable silence, each lost in his own thoughts. Understanding on more levels than one had been acquired that day, whether both pilots were aware of that fact or not. For the first time, friendship and acceptance between the two seemed an attainable goal.
-TBC-
Author: Tahlia
Pairing: None
Warnings: None
Feedback: Always helps a suffering ego.
Author's Note: This is the first of a small arc, so it may seem like it's waiting for something at the end. The next part will be out whenever it wants to be written.
The small dorm room was quiet and still, the sun shining in through the raised blinds giving the room a homey feeling. The only features in the tiny room were two twin beds, a desk, and a bedside table. Nonetheless, the room radiated a peaceful atmosphere.
That atmosphere was abruptly shattered as an irate figure, clothed in all black with sparkling violet eyes and a long braid, entered the room at a quick stride, followed closely by an equally incensed boy with unruly brown hair and dark blue eyes. It was obvious that a disagreement had been initiated between the two, and that the black clad boy had retreated to the room in an effort to avoid an altercation. It was equally as obvious that the blue-eyed boy had no intention of dropping the issue.
"Why are you the way that you are?" Heero demanded, placing his bag down on the desk and staring at the braided boy walking towards one of the beds in the small room.
The boy turned, mid-stride, and faced the angry figure still waiting for an answer. He flung his arms out, elbows bent, hands tilted up toward the ceiling in a gesture of frustration before answering, "Because this is how I have to be!" The braided boy's arms dropped to his sides in a defeated manner as a look of weary sadness entered his eyes. When he spoke again, the anger had all but faded, leaving an imploring for understanding in its wake.
"This is how I choose to deal with the things I have to do. How can you chastise me for that? Why can't you, of all people, understand?"
Heero let go of the bag and took a few steps away from the desk. 'How am I supposed to understand you? You are nothing like anyone I've ever met. I don't know what to expect from you.' Heero shook his head in frustration, banishing the thoughts. "You're constantly getting yourself purposely noticed when you should be keeping a low profile."
Duo's face flushed with anger. He took a few menacing steps forward until he and Heero were only inches apart. His voice was very controlled and quiet when he finally responded. "Heero, by controlling how people see me, how people think of me, and how people remember me, I have covered my ass better than you could ever hope to do for yourself," he explained in a slow, patronizing fashion. "You think being cold, distant, and rude to people makes them overlook you or think of you as just another average boy? Think again. People remember you, but, unlike me, they remember you in a negative light. You make yourself more suspicious to these people with your actions, more suspicious than I will ever be. So, don't you dare lecture me on the cover that I choose to present to the world or my method of coping. I do things my way, because my way works. If you can't deal with that, then remove yourself from the source of your disturbance. I'm not changing."
Duo turned around and walked over to his bed. He dropped his bag on it and started to unpack his various belongings without taking any notice of the other boy in the room. 'Does he have a point?' Heero wondered. He stood and watched Duo, memories of flashy beach getaways, a prominent refusal to attend simple birthday party, and repeatedly brazen suicide attempts running through his mind. He searched for a suitable response. Finding none, he turned and calmly left the room.
Duo stopped moving when he heard the door shut behind Heero. He stared down at the shirt he held in his hands, reflecting on what had just transpired. He dropped the shirt onto his bed next to the bag and sighed, running his hands through his long bangs.
He plopped down onto the bed into a lazy sprawl and stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought. 'Why does he get to me so easily? I never would have blown up like that before. Why does he have to be such a God damned hypocrite? Telling me I'm the one that stands out! I'm just being normal, fitting in. What so wrong with that? Shouldn't we take advantage of the opportunities we have to be normal 15 year old boys? What's with that guy?'
Duo turned over onto his side, propped up by one elbow, and pulled his yard long braid over his shoulder. He began to pick at the base of it haphazardly. 'Why does the guy push me away all the time? Any normal person would be happy to have someone to share all this shit with. Who else is gonna understand? Doesn't he get that I'm just trying to be his friend?' Duo stopped fidgeting with his braid and flopped down onto his back, head resting on his folded arms. He glared at the ceiling as he began to review his own thoughts. 'Yeah, right. That's why I just told him to get lost. Now I'm gonna feel guilty; just what I need.' Duo gave a long suffering sigh before sitting up, hands on either sides of his thighs gripping the edge of the bed tightly before thrusting himself to his feet and moving toward the door.
"Dammit."
-----
As Heero walked down the stair well of the dorm building, his head was swimming with a mad rush of discombobulated thoughts trying to force their way to the forefront of his mind, but all were forcibly shoved away for the time being. His face was an empty shell as he walked through the lobby, ignoring the polite greetings of a few of his classmates. He left the dorm building and headed over to the large park on the outskirts of campus. He wanted to be alone when he finally let all the eager thoughts scrambling around in his head make their voices known to him.
As he neared the park, Heero began to scout it out for a good place to sit and clear his mind. There was a small grove of cypress trees with a bench almost hidden in the middle of them, sufficiently out of sight enough to appease Heero's need for privacy at the moment. He walked over to the trees and entered the grove. He sat down on the bench and leaned his head up to look up at the sun through the sparse openings between the leaves of the tall trees. He let his body relax, eyes closing, before indulging himself in thought.
'I should wait out here for a bit. Duo needs to cool down before I go back. As much as I dislike his continuous efforts to draw me into conversation, I care even less for the tension that radiates off of him when he's upset about something and keeping his mouth shut. It's almost more nerve wracking, especially when I'm the one he's upset with.'
Heero's eyes slowly slid open, but he retained his reclined position so he could stare at the backdrop of the sun shining through the leaves once again. 'He shouldn't have gotten defensive. I was merely asking a question to further understand the pilot that I often have to work with on missions. I don't like unpredictable people, and he is definitely that. I don't understand how his mind works. That makes him dangerous.'
Heero spread his arms out along the back of the bench he was sitting on, letting his eyes slide closed once again, a peaceful expression stealing over his features. He absorbed the feeling of the cool breeze blowing through his short hair, ruffling it ineffectively as it flopped back into it's usual position, only slightly manipulated by the reclining angle of his neck.
'I shouldn't have been so direct in my approach. Duo doesn't respond well to anything he considers an attack on him. That was an oversight on my part. Next time I'll be more subtle. It will take more time to fully understand him following that method, but it should make things easier in the long run.' A small smile crept its way onto Heero's face as he sat there. 'Duo Maxwell, you are a mystery I will solve.'
-----
Duo walked out of the dorm building and paused, trying to think of where Heero would retreat to. He racked his memory for any clues as to where he may have gone. After a moments thought, he recalled Heero's unexpected attraction to nature. He'd noticed Heero's appreciation of the great outdoors. His mood seemed to perk up almost imperceptibly when he was around plants or bodies of water, even when he was just outside under the warm rays of a genuine sun instead of the generated artificial light filtered throughout the colonies.
Duo directed his steps toward the only park on the campus. When he arrived at his destination, he looked around for Heero. At first, he didn't see anyone and was disappointed. Then, he spotted a slight movement through a small grove of trees off to his right.
Duo quietly approached the grove, making sure his footsteps weren't audible. If the person sitting in the cluster of trees wasn't Heero, he didn't want to get himself noticed or appear as if he were spying on them.
As he approached, the form hiding in the trees was confirmed to be Heero. Duo watched Heero sit down on the long wooden bench. He seemed to be taken over by a sense of serenity almost as soon as he leaned his head back. Duo had never seen him so relaxed. Duo stood, watching Heero from behind the trees.
'I've never seen him look so human before. Who woulda guessed that a guy so tense all the time could ever just let go and enjoy himself. He actually looks happy. As happy as that guy can look, anyway. My God, he's actually smiling. I don't think I've ever seen him smile when he wasn't blowing something up.'
Duo stood back, hands on his hips as he continued watching Heero. 'Guess he wasn't upset after all.' He decided to make himself known anyway to get it all over with. He couldn't stand leaving things unfinished. Awkwardness was not something he tolerated.
-----
Heero tensed as soon as he heard the shuffling of feet moving in his direction. He was immediately on his guard, relaxed position a thing of the past. His head whipped around to face the source of the sound. He relaxed slightly when he saw Duo, a hint of surprise adorning his otherwise carefully neutral features. He had not anticipated Duo seeking him out after their argument; rather, he expected to be avoided until the braided youth had gotten over whatever had him so agitated.
Duo approached Heero a bit apprehensively until he was sure Heero was aware of his presence. When Heero turned around and shot him an inquisitive glance, he donned his trade mark grin and cleared the rest of the distance between them. "Mind if I sit?" he asked, gesturing to a vacant spot on the bench next to Heero.
Heero shook his head in response, and Duo sat down. Heero's eyes never left him, even as Duo directed his stare straight ahead of him at the trees surrounding them. Duo took a moment to collect his thoughts before he spoke.
"I just came out here to apologize. I shouldn't have gotten upset with you or chased you out of the room like I did." He glanced at Heero. Seeing no response, he continued. "You just gotta understand something, Heero. Repeated criticism gets on my nerves. You don't have to jump on me every time I don't do something according to your criteria for being a good soldier. I get that you don't approve of my methods all the time, but that doesn't make them wrong. Does that make sense?" Duo finally turned and looked Heero in the eye.
'So, he can shrug it off if I criticize him once about something, but if he feels that I'm harping he gets frustrated.' Heero regarded him for a moment before slowly nodding his head, comprehension flooding through him. "I'll try to keep that in mind."
Duo smiled widely and hopped up from his seat on the bench, facing Heero as he stood. "Great! Now that that's all settled, you wanna get something to eat? I'm starved." He gave Heero an encouraging look as he started to walk backwards slowly. 'Back to normal, I guess. Bye, bye real Duo. Ya gotta be happy-go-lucky now.'
Heero stood up and brushed off his pants before joining Duo. 'There is definitely more to Duo than he lets on,' Heero thought as Duo chattered on about what kind of food they should get, 'and I am going to find out what it is before this war is over.'
"Italian sound good?" Duo questioned. "I have a hankering for pasta all of a sudden." At an affirmative nod from Heero, the pair set off.
The two boys walked out of the grove and through the park in companionable silence, each lost in his own thoughts. Understanding on more levels than one had been acquired that day, whether both pilots were aware of that fact or not. For the first time, friendship and acceptance between the two seemed an attainable goal.
-TBC-