From New Moon, By Stephenie Meyer

Chapter 18: The Funeral

"Bella," he whispered.

I was frozen.

No! I hadn't made this decision yet. I didn't know if I could do this, and now I was out of time to think. But I would have been a fool if I thought rejecting him now would have no consequences.

I stared back at him. He was not my Jacob, but he could be. His face was familiar and beloved. In so many real ways, I did love him. He was my comfort, my safe harbor. Right now, I could choose to have him belong to me.

Maybe it would be easy – like holding his hand or having his arms around me. Maybe it would feel nice. Maybe it wouldn't feel like a betrayal. Besides, who was I betraying anyway? Just myself.

Keeping his eyes on mine, Jacob began to bend his face toward me. And I was still absolutely undecided.


I could sense the fire in his body before we even touched. The scent of cedar, musk and sweat muddled with the heat radiating from him made my breath catch in my hollow chest as his thick, rough hands curled around the nape of my neck and the small of my back simultaneously. My body thudded against his as he jerked me close. Odd, how I seemed to melt to the contours of his immense frame so perfectly. He drew in a breath as his mouth enveloped mine. I could do nothing but lean into him. My hands pressed to his pulsing chest, they were the only thing separating our bodies now.

At that moment, my resolve was tangible as it leaked from my being. I filled my lungs with the smell, the taste of him and welcomed it inside of me. His grip loosened just enough that I slid my hands up to lace my fingers in his short, jet black hair. I was no longer my strong self. I let the feeling of release wash over me as Jacob moaned and pulled me tighter.

Could this be where I belonged all along? It certainly was a more normal, easier – maybe safer – life than the one I had been looking forward to months ago. Jacob and I could grow old together, with our families, our children and grandchildren. And there was no one in the world who could love me more – no human, at least. Nothing to hide, no secrets to keep. Now that the Cullens were gone – and would surely stay that way since there was nothing drawing them back to Forks anymore – the werewolf pack would dissolve soon and the phasing would stop. Things could be normal. I could be unconditionally happy.

"Yes," I breathed. Jacob stopped for a second.

"What did you say?"

I hadn't realized I had spoken out loud. No use denying it now. As soon as I had arrived at the realization, it was carved in stone and sealed in my soul. "Jacob, I want you."

All of a sudden, a new passion blazed in his dark eyes. He wrapped his huge arms around my torso and lifted me off my feet as he squeezed. In the next second, our eyes were locked and I was cradled in his arms as he took the stairs in two great strides up to my room.

Theatrically, he shoved my bedroom door open and crawled onto the bed pulling me underneath him. The weight of his hips and legs pressed hard against mine as his lips moved to the tender space beneath my ear. His left hand clamped around my forearms and pulled them from his neck up above my head. I was a submissive prisoner. He continued to nibble down my neck, across my collar bone and paused to softly press his warm mouth deliberately on the small hollow at the base of my neck. Then my Jacob looked up at me. His lips didn't smile – they didn't need to – his eyes told me he had claimed me then and there. Forever. No turning back.

His mouth's trail continued over my thin blouse and I could feel his breath through the fabric. He laid his right hand flat on my stomach and slid my shirt up and over my breasts, now heaving from the electricity. He teased a nipple with the tip of his tongue while his burning hand ran between my breasts and continued down to the button on my jeans. His eyes never opened as he thoroughly tongued my breasts and before I knew it his hand found my heat. The temptation was nearly too much for me. He released one hand and I threw it across his back and clutching at his bronzed skin beaded with sweat.

He nudged my thighs gently with his knee as he repositioned and I graciously opened. My hips rose for him to remove my remaining clothing. Before the flaming passion ensued, Jacob whispered, "I always knew you belonged to me, Bella."