The Race to the Nut House

by pebbles1234

A country is in dire need of some interesting canidates. A scientist has an idea. What would happen if Capt. Jack Sparrow, Sweeney Todd, Willy Wonka, Edward Scissorshands, and others were forced into a race? Chaos would inevitably ensue.

1. A series of incredibly ridiculous events

Let us see how many movies and or character I do not own. I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean I, II, or II. I also do not own Sweeney Todd or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Nor do I own Secret Window. To the best of my knowledge I do not own Edward Scissorhands.

If this story resembles any others it is purely coincidental

A/N: My friend and I were discussing the candidates for this year's United Sates Presidential Election. We were thinking of ridiculous candidates and Sweeney Todd and Captain Jack Sparrow came to mind. After we finished laughing hysterically at the mere idea, my friend suggested I write a fanfiction story about it. So here it is, dedicated to her. I hope you enjoy reading!

A Race for the Nut House

Chapter 1

A series of incredibly ridiculous events

This tale must begin in a strange way, for it is indeed a strange tale. Several different men, who bore a strong resemblance to each other, were forced into a strange land and told to fight to the finish. Several of the men enjoyed fighting. The ones who didn't enjoy it, didn't stay till the finish.

We shall begin our tale in present day Famashalabac, a rather large island off the coast of Tarbapes. The people are a mass of indecision. The time has come for the candidates to be chosen for the Presidential Election. As usual, there are two predominant sides. However, the people cannot choose. They are not interested. The candidates are boring.

So, a panel of incredibly important scientists, psychologists, sociologists, and whatchamacallits were assembled in the grand ballroom of the building which has no name. It was their task to pick candidates that the people would be interested in.

They thought and thought for days upon days and nights upon nights. Then a Whatchamacallit, who was also a scientist who invented a machine of the utmost importance, stood up with the answer.

"I have the answer." He smiled wickedly and ran out of the room.

This scientist invented a machine that could transport him into any movie he wished to go. Yes, I know it sounds strange. It is, I warned you about that. Anyway, the man plugged his highly sophisticated machine into the front jacks on his television. Then, he placed one of his favorite DVD's into the player.

Once the initial credits were over, the devilishly smart Whatchamacallit stepped inside his large machine, closed the door, and pushed the 'GO' button. He laughed manically and rubbed his hands together.