This wouldn't make sense to her. I mean, I'm standing right here with my lips locked to his and I hardly get it! But she... she would freak out on us. Again.

Yeah, I'm talking about Carly, the image of perfection and the queen of drama. It's kind of annoying, really, to be friends with her. Everyone compares us, calling me a disappointment who had so much potential. She was the angel with the perfect grades and gorgeous smile who would amount to so much in the future. When iCarly died, she would have a future and I wouldn't.

Gah, I have to shake my thoughts of her. Right now, just for once, I have someone focusing on me instead of her. We've seperated, I realize, and he's released my waist. His bright brown eyes are darkening with thought, and I sigh. Of course the nub is going to feel guilty; he always does.

Though, he has been getting better about sneaking around. Mama's taught him well in that area.

"Hey, Freddork, what gives?"

"Maybe... do you think we should go back to the studio? She's going to find out if we're just... out here." I roll my eyes and punch him in the arm. This time he doesn't even flinch, which I must admit I admire. Again, Mama will take credit for toughening baby Freddie up.

"What have I told you, nub? Play by my rules and no one gets in trouble."

"Well..."

"Name one time that I've failed in hiding anything." He smirks. I quirk an eyebrow.

"Our kiss." My confident smile evaporates into a scowl.

"I was under the influence of laughing gas! That doesn't count!"

"Hey, you asked me to give an example, so I did." He's getting closer again, and my pulse quickens. He smirks, seeing my reaction, "Well, it appears that little Sammy gets excited when I get near her. Is that right?" The babyish tones he's using just frustrate me more. I hate showing weakness, and it's even more embarrassing due to the fact that it's linked to the dork.

"It's 'cause of the fried chicken you promised you'd get me. Don't get all overconfident, cause no girl gets excited to be kissed by a nub." Still, though, I turn away to hide to red that's taking over my cheeks. Again, weakness is bad and being caught at a weak moment is even worse.

He shrugs. "Say what you want, hypocrite." He smirks, obviously thinking he's being clever. I take this opportunity to take control back.

"Don't ever try to be clever, dork. It doesn't work out too well when you try and insult me, Fredward." I stick my tongue out at him, and he frowns. He's obviously trying to think of something to say back, but can't. I chuckle under my breath. I'm not known to lose.

Still he's thinking, trying to find something witty hidden in the backrooms of his mind. Since he's taking too long, I decide to make the first move. With the agility of a cat... or something (look, I've never claimed to be a poet), I launch myself at his face and seal off his lips with my own.

It's a silent five minutes of heavy making out that even Carly would probably be jealous of. Hey, the girl is well known for having relationships completely built on kissing. I'm pretty sure that my judgement is a fair one. Anyway, it was pretty... magical, I guess. You know, if you like using descriptive words like that.

Finally we seperated, both of us panting for air. As we were about to close the gap again, we heard a familiar voice calling out our names. I groaned, feeling my heart drop. Carly. What was with her and talent at interrupting amazing moments like the one we were just having? It had happened just earlier in the week, right before iCarly rehersal. It had been a close call, too, for we had been jumping back through the studio's window just as she flicked the lights on. Normally someone would have questioned why Freddie's lips had been the same color as my gloss, but she hadn't even noticed.

Poor, oblivious, innocent minded Carly.

We exchanged a quick glance before he made his way to the window. He would go first, and I would show up about a minute later with something edible. He would complain about me being late, and I would shove my fist into his face. It was the way she saw us, and any other way would cause her to go into cardiac arrest.

As he descended into the studio, I met his eyes with my own. "Love ya, dork." He chuckled.

"Love you too, demon." He slid the window partially shut, just enough so that I could enter but not open enough for Carly to suspect anything. I pulled out the bagel that I had bought from T-Bo earlier. It was cold and smelled suspicious, but I didn't care. Food was food, and it would help me slip by Carly's radar.

I really do wish we could tell her what we are now, but it would cause her to go crazy. "No more secrets!" But what if it was for her own good? The very idea of Freddie and I together might just cause her head to explode into mush. In her perfect world, we would always be enemies that she would always try to get to be friends. I would be the food obsessed junkie who had no one else to turn to, and Freddie would always be the boy who chased after her relentlessly.

Yet, just because she thinks we're imperfect, does that mean we are? I tilted my head, taking a small bite out of my bagel. Yeah, I guess it did. But who honestly gives a chiz? We're just the dysfunctional couple that no one suspected.

And Mama likes it that way.

A/N: From the bored mind of someone who should be doing something productive. I don't... uh... usually write in first person, nor have I ever written anything for iCarly before. So if I butchered the characters or something, you should let me know .;

This is just a one-shot, as I don't want to add more to the evergrowing throng of Secret-Seddie fics haha xD

Anyway, reviews are always appreciated. I'd love to know how I did!