Before I begin, I gotta say I started this story before, but the chapter
was short and I was just starting out. My sister has been explaining to me
about how to get everything how its supposed to be. SOOO, theres a problem
with my server or whatever and I CAN NOT delete the previous version of it,
but I will do so ASAP!!!! So please DO NOT report me for this, I am doing
the best I can, thanks!
Enjoy my brain-challenged writing!
BEHIND THE SCRIPT
SCENE 1
The narrator, Kat, sits on a director's chair and looks into the camera.
Kat- Hello, all. For the next few days I will be stalking the students and professors of this school.
Crickets chirp
Kat- This school.
Crickets chirp
Kat-THIS SCHOOL!
Man in back-Oh, Sorry!
Hogwarts comes into view
Kat-Ah.yes.this is Hogwarts. School of witchcraft and wizardry.or wizardry and witchcraft. Ah, who cares? Oliver Wood and Lee Jordan are students here, so what else matters? Anyways, view the school now, please. Good. Now to begin I'd like to say that-
Leaves rustle and footsteps quickly approach.
Kat-Move, Frank you egg-headed buffoon! *shoves Frank the camera man into the bushes and ducks down
Draco and Ginny appear, hand in hand.
Draco- Ginny, I-
Ginny-Call me by my real name, you lug! *slaps him
Draco- Ouch! Oh, not again.Okay. *says dramatically with much enthusiasm * REBECCA, I've been watching you and that Potty for weeks now. I cannot help but feel jealous. Tell me, tell me Gi.Rebecca.that he means nothing, nothing to you!
Ginny-Oh, Blake-o, (Draco- Actually it's Draco.) I don't care about that hunk of hot, spicy boy who lived at all! I'll love you and only you forever, Steak-o! *They lock in a kiss
Kat- 0.o Yes. I see my first investigation has bore fruits. Yeeeeeesss.Okay, so what do you say we see what our old pal Harry Potter is up to!
Dunundundun!!!! *James Bond theme for all u poop-heads out there.
Scene 2
Kat- * speaks into her recorder * Yes. I am here in the Gryffindor common room, disguising myself as a tree. *Blends in as Harry Potter enters *
Harry- Hermi-o, oh Hermi-o, where for art thou Hermi-o? Deny thy lightening shaped scar and refuse Harry Potter *rings hands * And go for that slimeball Crabbe. *sighs * Alas, I am here. Wanting the untouchable with my unsatiable longing for the one I cannot have. Oh, that's good! *takes out a little pink book (1) and writes it down
Kat-*looks into the camera * Are you getting this Frank?!
Harry- *looks up * Whos there??? *he looks around and then jumps into a toilet in the middle of the common room * This may look like an ordinary toilet in the middle of the common room..Because it IS an ordinary toilet in the middle of the common room! MWAHAHAHAHA!!OH, flying toasters of peril (2) why did I lose my medication?!?! *cries insanely *
Kat- Yeeees...Now you have it folks, a swooning "Rebecca" and "Steak-o", and a lusty Harry Potter with his.Flying.toasters of.peril. Yes...What next?!
Scene 3
Later, in the Dungeons while Kat is disguised as one of Snape's blow-up dolls.
Snape, while doing the macarena- I DON'T WANNA BE A SALMON, I DON'T WANNA BE A BASS, SO KISS MY- (3)
*Knock, knock *
Snape-A visitor?! 0.0 For meee?! * Smiles like a numb-nut and opens the door * What do you want from me?!
Dude with a hat- Yes, indeed. Hello, Mr. Um.Snap.
Snape- Snape.*mumbles *
Dude with hat- I'm here to inspect the area, run a check on the potions and formulas and just you know, and make sure none of the students are being contaminated by anything.
Kat-What? You mean my precious Oliver or Lee could be sick? NO!
Dude with a hat- Mind if I take a look around?
Snape-0.0 *a few minutes later * I DON'T WANNA BE A SALMON, I DON'T WANNA BE A BASS-
Dumbledore- *charges in and points at Snape * Snape! Come quick! We've just gotten word that a Health Inspector with a hat was viscously fed to the rabid lawn gnomes!
Snape- *Fakes a gasp and runs out of the room Phoebe-style with Dumbledore. *
Kat- Appalling.
Scene 4
Kat- *walks the halls of Hogwarts looking for a new subject. She has given Frank a break*
Lee Jordan-Yeah all you have to do is miss the shot, that's all!
Oliver Wood-Yeah but why-
Lee-Shh! * Spots Kat * Sup, Hot Stuff? You got a quarter?
Kat- What for? Lee- Just wanted to call your mom and thank her.
Kat- For what?
Lee- Um.for having you.
Kat-Ive heard better pick-up lines from a turkey sandwich.
Lee- *scratches his head * Yeah, me too..
Oliver- Me three.
Crickets chirp.
Scene 5
Frank- Kat? Kat?! Kat, where are you?!!!
Kat- *runs up to him * Whats up?
Frank-My breaks over.hey, your make-up is smudged..
Kat- Really? * takes out her mirror and touches up some *
Lee and Oliver come up behind her, both of them shirtless and have lipstick slightly smudged on their cheeks
Frank -I see you have been having a great time
Kat- Um.yeah well anyway this concludes today's taping of Behind the Script.tune in next time. I have heard rumors about Hermione being in love with Crabbe and I intend to get some insight on that. Will Harry find his medication? Will I find any better disguises? When will I forcibly dress Frank up to look like Avaka, the magical cricket from Laloopyla Land?
Frank- What?!
Kat- Well, ask your teacher. If she doesn't know, then tuuuuuune in next time! I have to go buy more lipstick! Bye!
THE NEXT DAY...
Scene 6
Kat- *looks into the camera * Heya again, thanks for coming back, even though I thought that the first parts would have scared you off.Well anyway. I've been thinking about my choice of costume lately and have decided that if I really want to see what's going on, I had better pose as a real student here. And so.I shall! *Puts on some Gryffindor robes on * And for the finishing touches. *Puts on a fake mustache * Cha! *Clears throat and walks into Snape's potion class where Gryffindor and Slytherin are having double classes *
Snape-What ARE you doing HERE?!
Kat- Yo, what's up man? I'm just a new exchange student from Delaware, not some eccentric reporter trying to get the insight on mixed up love stories and trying to get with Lee Jordan and Oliver Wood posing as a student. Pay no attention to me.unless you happen to be hotter than Oliver or Lee, you can talk to me, but that is IMPOSSIBLE!.and we will get along just fine.
Crickets chirp
Snape- Delaware? Where is.Delaware?
Kat- Yes.it is. So anyways, where's my seat?
Snape- Over there next to Draco and Parvati.
Kat- * sits down next to Hermione *
Snape- Okay. So anyway, We have been discussing the ingredients in Poe-nut Butter. The potions include Grasshopper wings, Goat Stomach, Sheep nose, olive oil, pringle salt, sugar.....
Hermione- Hey, I'm Hermione. That's Ron, Harry, Neville, Seamus.oh and over there, that's Draco, Goyle and.Crabbe.*licks her lips, then goes on to tell every other persons name in the classroom* And your name is?
Kat- * looks her over * Yes, it is.
Hermione- *gasp* You are so hurtful!!! *eyes swell up in tears and she Phoebe-runs out of the room sobbing *
Crabbe- * stands up and does a super man pose* I must go to Hermione, my beloved, for she is in despair because of unruly words.I must follow mi amor!
Crickets chirp
Draco- Have you always been able to talk like a smart thingie?
Crabbe- Duh.uh-huh. *runs out of the room *
Snape- Hamster Juice, and last but not least, hair of an Italian ridgeback horn-billed rough-winged ant.
Kat- *snickers *
Snape- You think something is funny, do you? Care to share it with the rest of the class?
Kat- Well, I was just thinking about this thing that happened to me the other day. What happened was that I saw this one guy who looked something like you doing the macarena with blow up dolls.
Even the crickets are silent
Snape- Yes.Yes of course. Students please open your textbooks to page 1.from there read to page 703. New student, please come with me.
Kat *follows Snape out of the classroom * What is it, man?
Snape- *looks at her in disdain * I never got your name. What is it?
Kat- Yes it is.
Snape- *blinks * Don't play dumb with me, I'm onto you.You think this mustache fools the incomparable SNAPE?! * rips her mustache off *
Kat- *gasps * NO!
Snape- Yes!
Kat- NO!
Snape- Yes!
Kat- NO!
Snape- Yes!
Kat- No!!! Okay, well maybe.
Snape-That's what I thought. Now go to your seat evil hellion!!!
Kat- *snickers and sits down in her seat *
Scene 7-
Kat, disguised in a huge foam Barney outfit, and Frank, disguised as Avaka, the magical cricket from Laloopyla land (2), appear in a green meadow with frolicking deer and rabbits in it.
Kat- *looks into the camera * I have heard rumors that this spot right here.nicknamed the Heart's Garden.is an ideal spot to find swooners meeting late at night. How does one get to the Heart's Garden you ask?
You- No, I didn't ask.
Kat- Yes you did.
You- No I didn't.
Kat- Yes you did and you get there by touching the nose of the statue at the side of the lake.
You- 0.o
Kat- It is always daylight here and-
Footsteps approach and Kat once again shoves Frank into the bushes
Oliver Wood and Ginny.er.."Rebecca" Weasley appear.
Kat- :-o
Oliver- I love you Ashley!
Ginny- I love you, Oli!
They engage in a passionate kiss
Kat- *eye twitches * R-r-rebecca? Err.. Ashley? OLI?! *walks over to the two, break them up and bang their heads together, then they all begin to fight *
Frank watches as a huge Barney beats up a schizophrenic and someone who is way too old for her, then walks away.
Scene 8
Fizzy Sparx focuses the camera and then hops in front of it.
Fizzy- So, now that Kat has been sent to an insane asylum for posing as Barney and beating up a schitzo, I, Fizzy Sparx, am now taking her place as reporter and promise to do a much better job then her. *Looks around, starts laughing and then shouts out* BAKED PORK AND BEANS!
Frank- Hey, uh. Fizzy, you.you're frightening me.
Fizzy- I am sorry, my poor, deranged, lonely camera man.
A very creepy voice- Now that my plan against Harry Potter * shudders* has been formed and written out on this multi-colored construction paper- *giggles like a little girl * I can now, take action!
Frank-Omigosh! Fizzy, that sounds like Harry Potter's arch nemesis, Voldemort, *gasps erupt from the audience * plotting an ultimate revenge scheme once again, although it is certain he will fail in carrying it out, for Harry Potter is a good guy, and the good guy always wins!
Fizzy, while picking her nose- Hehehe.big words..
Frank- Aw, *censored * this! *shoots Fizzy in the head with a gun, then focuses the camera in on him * People, this has been the first taping of "Behind the Scenes". Your probaby going to watch a different Newscaster. Ginny-whats-her-face is going to get out of the hospital wing and seduce Harry. Fizzy Sparx is going to graduate from kindergarten. I am getting another job. Thank you, and GOOD NIGHT!
*Elevator theme music as the credits role *
ENDING NOTES-
Don't hate on me cuz I love that Irish hottie that just happens to be named Oliver Wood and that totally hot dude with dreadlocks named Lee Jordan. They're MY hotties, not yours!!!
Also, em.these two days were meant to be two chapters, but um.well, I edited them together and I had the word "LATER" in it somewhere, so while I was editing them, I have no idea where it went, so um.I cant find it..so if its there, its there. If its not, its not..okay. Byeness!
PLEASE,PLEASE, PLEASE GIMME SOME REVIEWS, MAN!!! If I get enough, watch for my next CHAPTER!!!!!!!
Enjoy my brain-challenged writing!
BEHIND THE SCRIPT
SCENE 1
The narrator, Kat, sits on a director's chair and looks into the camera.
Kat- Hello, all. For the next few days I will be stalking the students and professors of this school.
Crickets chirp
Kat- This school.
Crickets chirp
Kat-THIS SCHOOL!
Man in back-Oh, Sorry!
Hogwarts comes into view
Kat-Ah.yes.this is Hogwarts. School of witchcraft and wizardry.or wizardry and witchcraft. Ah, who cares? Oliver Wood and Lee Jordan are students here, so what else matters? Anyways, view the school now, please. Good. Now to begin I'd like to say that-
Leaves rustle and footsteps quickly approach.
Kat-Move, Frank you egg-headed buffoon! *shoves Frank the camera man into the bushes and ducks down
Draco and Ginny appear, hand in hand.
Draco- Ginny, I-
Ginny-Call me by my real name, you lug! *slaps him
Draco- Ouch! Oh, not again.Okay. *says dramatically with much enthusiasm * REBECCA, I've been watching you and that Potty for weeks now. I cannot help but feel jealous. Tell me, tell me Gi.Rebecca.that he means nothing, nothing to you!
Ginny-Oh, Blake-o, (Draco- Actually it's Draco.) I don't care about that hunk of hot, spicy boy who lived at all! I'll love you and only you forever, Steak-o! *They lock in a kiss
Kat- 0.o Yes. I see my first investigation has bore fruits. Yeeeeeesss.Okay, so what do you say we see what our old pal Harry Potter is up to!
Dunundundun!!!! *James Bond theme for all u poop-heads out there.
Scene 2
Kat- * speaks into her recorder * Yes. I am here in the Gryffindor common room, disguising myself as a tree. *Blends in as Harry Potter enters *
Harry- Hermi-o, oh Hermi-o, where for art thou Hermi-o? Deny thy lightening shaped scar and refuse Harry Potter *rings hands * And go for that slimeball Crabbe. *sighs * Alas, I am here. Wanting the untouchable with my unsatiable longing for the one I cannot have. Oh, that's good! *takes out a little pink book (1) and writes it down
Kat-*looks into the camera * Are you getting this Frank?!
Harry- *looks up * Whos there??? *he looks around and then jumps into a toilet in the middle of the common room * This may look like an ordinary toilet in the middle of the common room..Because it IS an ordinary toilet in the middle of the common room! MWAHAHAHAHA!!OH, flying toasters of peril (2) why did I lose my medication?!?! *cries insanely *
Kat- Yeeees...Now you have it folks, a swooning "Rebecca" and "Steak-o", and a lusty Harry Potter with his.Flying.toasters of.peril. Yes...What next?!
Scene 3
Later, in the Dungeons while Kat is disguised as one of Snape's blow-up dolls.
Snape, while doing the macarena- I DON'T WANNA BE A SALMON, I DON'T WANNA BE A BASS, SO KISS MY- (3)
*Knock, knock *
Snape-A visitor?! 0.0 For meee?! * Smiles like a numb-nut and opens the door * What do you want from me?!
Dude with a hat- Yes, indeed. Hello, Mr. Um.Snap.
Snape- Snape.*mumbles *
Dude with hat- I'm here to inspect the area, run a check on the potions and formulas and just you know, and make sure none of the students are being contaminated by anything.
Kat-What? You mean my precious Oliver or Lee could be sick? NO!
Dude with a hat- Mind if I take a look around?
Snape-0.0 *a few minutes later * I DON'T WANNA BE A SALMON, I DON'T WANNA BE A BASS-
Dumbledore- *charges in and points at Snape * Snape! Come quick! We've just gotten word that a Health Inspector with a hat was viscously fed to the rabid lawn gnomes!
Snape- *Fakes a gasp and runs out of the room Phoebe-style with Dumbledore. *
Kat- Appalling.
Scene 4
Kat- *walks the halls of Hogwarts looking for a new subject. She has given Frank a break*
Lee Jordan-Yeah all you have to do is miss the shot, that's all!
Oliver Wood-Yeah but why-
Lee-Shh! * Spots Kat * Sup, Hot Stuff? You got a quarter?
Kat- What for? Lee- Just wanted to call your mom and thank her.
Kat- For what?
Lee- Um.for having you.
Kat-Ive heard better pick-up lines from a turkey sandwich.
Lee- *scratches his head * Yeah, me too..
Oliver- Me three.
Crickets chirp.
Scene 5
Frank- Kat? Kat?! Kat, where are you?!!!
Kat- *runs up to him * Whats up?
Frank-My breaks over.hey, your make-up is smudged..
Kat- Really? * takes out her mirror and touches up some *
Lee and Oliver come up behind her, both of them shirtless and have lipstick slightly smudged on their cheeks
Frank -I see you have been having a great time
Kat- Um.yeah well anyway this concludes today's taping of Behind the Script.tune in next time. I have heard rumors about Hermione being in love with Crabbe and I intend to get some insight on that. Will Harry find his medication? Will I find any better disguises? When will I forcibly dress Frank up to look like Avaka, the magical cricket from Laloopyla Land?
Frank- What?!
Kat- Well, ask your teacher. If she doesn't know, then tuuuuuune in next time! I have to go buy more lipstick! Bye!
THE NEXT DAY...
Scene 6
Kat- *looks into the camera * Heya again, thanks for coming back, even though I thought that the first parts would have scared you off.Well anyway. I've been thinking about my choice of costume lately and have decided that if I really want to see what's going on, I had better pose as a real student here. And so.I shall! *Puts on some Gryffindor robes on * And for the finishing touches. *Puts on a fake mustache * Cha! *Clears throat and walks into Snape's potion class where Gryffindor and Slytherin are having double classes *
Snape-What ARE you doing HERE?!
Kat- Yo, what's up man? I'm just a new exchange student from Delaware, not some eccentric reporter trying to get the insight on mixed up love stories and trying to get with Lee Jordan and Oliver Wood posing as a student. Pay no attention to me.unless you happen to be hotter than Oliver or Lee, you can talk to me, but that is IMPOSSIBLE!.and we will get along just fine.
Crickets chirp
Snape- Delaware? Where is.Delaware?
Kat- Yes.it is. So anyways, where's my seat?
Snape- Over there next to Draco and Parvati.
Kat- * sits down next to Hermione *
Snape- Okay. So anyway, We have been discussing the ingredients in Poe-nut Butter. The potions include Grasshopper wings, Goat Stomach, Sheep nose, olive oil, pringle salt, sugar.....
Hermione- Hey, I'm Hermione. That's Ron, Harry, Neville, Seamus.oh and over there, that's Draco, Goyle and.Crabbe.*licks her lips, then goes on to tell every other persons name in the classroom* And your name is?
Kat- * looks her over * Yes, it is.
Hermione- *gasp* You are so hurtful!!! *eyes swell up in tears and she Phoebe-runs out of the room sobbing *
Crabbe- * stands up and does a super man pose* I must go to Hermione, my beloved, for she is in despair because of unruly words.I must follow mi amor!
Crickets chirp
Draco- Have you always been able to talk like a smart thingie?
Crabbe- Duh.uh-huh. *runs out of the room *
Snape- Hamster Juice, and last but not least, hair of an Italian ridgeback horn-billed rough-winged ant.
Kat- *snickers *
Snape- You think something is funny, do you? Care to share it with the rest of the class?
Kat- Well, I was just thinking about this thing that happened to me the other day. What happened was that I saw this one guy who looked something like you doing the macarena with blow up dolls.
Even the crickets are silent
Snape- Yes.Yes of course. Students please open your textbooks to page 1.from there read to page 703. New student, please come with me.
Kat *follows Snape out of the classroom * What is it, man?
Snape- *looks at her in disdain * I never got your name. What is it?
Kat- Yes it is.
Snape- *blinks * Don't play dumb with me, I'm onto you.You think this mustache fools the incomparable SNAPE?! * rips her mustache off *
Kat- *gasps * NO!
Snape- Yes!
Kat- NO!
Snape- Yes!
Kat- NO!
Snape- Yes!
Kat- No!!! Okay, well maybe.
Snape-That's what I thought. Now go to your seat evil hellion!!!
Kat- *snickers and sits down in her seat *
Scene 7-
Kat, disguised in a huge foam Barney outfit, and Frank, disguised as Avaka, the magical cricket from Laloopyla land (2), appear in a green meadow with frolicking deer and rabbits in it.
Kat- *looks into the camera * I have heard rumors that this spot right here.nicknamed the Heart's Garden.is an ideal spot to find swooners meeting late at night. How does one get to the Heart's Garden you ask?
You- No, I didn't ask.
Kat- Yes you did.
You- No I didn't.
Kat- Yes you did and you get there by touching the nose of the statue at the side of the lake.
You- 0.o
Kat- It is always daylight here and-
Footsteps approach and Kat once again shoves Frank into the bushes
Oliver Wood and Ginny.er.."Rebecca" Weasley appear.
Kat- :-o
Oliver- I love you Ashley!
Ginny- I love you, Oli!
They engage in a passionate kiss
Kat- *eye twitches * R-r-rebecca? Err.. Ashley? OLI?! *walks over to the two, break them up and bang their heads together, then they all begin to fight *
Frank watches as a huge Barney beats up a schizophrenic and someone who is way too old for her, then walks away.
Scene 8
Fizzy Sparx focuses the camera and then hops in front of it.
Fizzy- So, now that Kat has been sent to an insane asylum for posing as Barney and beating up a schitzo, I, Fizzy Sparx, am now taking her place as reporter and promise to do a much better job then her. *Looks around, starts laughing and then shouts out* BAKED PORK AND BEANS!
Frank- Hey, uh. Fizzy, you.you're frightening me.
Fizzy- I am sorry, my poor, deranged, lonely camera man.
A very creepy voice- Now that my plan against Harry Potter * shudders* has been formed and written out on this multi-colored construction paper- *giggles like a little girl * I can now, take action!
Frank-Omigosh! Fizzy, that sounds like Harry Potter's arch nemesis, Voldemort, *gasps erupt from the audience * plotting an ultimate revenge scheme once again, although it is certain he will fail in carrying it out, for Harry Potter is a good guy, and the good guy always wins!
Fizzy, while picking her nose- Hehehe.big words..
Frank- Aw, *censored * this! *shoots Fizzy in the head with a gun, then focuses the camera in on him * People, this has been the first taping of "Behind the Scenes". Your probaby going to watch a different Newscaster. Ginny-whats-her-face is going to get out of the hospital wing and seduce Harry. Fizzy Sparx is going to graduate from kindergarten. I am getting another job. Thank you, and GOOD NIGHT!
*Elevator theme music as the credits role *
ENDING NOTES-
Don't hate on me cuz I love that Irish hottie that just happens to be named Oliver Wood and that totally hot dude with dreadlocks named Lee Jordan. They're MY hotties, not yours!!!
Also, em.these two days were meant to be two chapters, but um.well, I edited them together and I had the word "LATER" in it somewhere, so while I was editing them, I have no idea where it went, so um.I cant find it..so if its there, its there. If its not, its not..okay. Byeness!
PLEASE,PLEASE, PLEASE GIMME SOME REVIEWS, MAN!!! If I get enough, watch for my next CHAPTER!!!!!!!