Notes:
This story is based after season 6 episode 11, about Sam getting his soul back. Also features Castiel/Dean romance.
Please rate & review!
Sam lay still on the stone table, his gigantic frame motionless - including his chest. It didn't look good. He remained that way for a while, with Castiel and Dean on either side of him. Both the angel and older brother had the same emotions mirrored in their eyes – fear, anxiety, compassion - yet they expressed it in different ways. Castiel was reserved, his outer case appearing indifferent to the tragic events laid before him. Dean, in contrast, revealed everything – the curtains drawn back and the spotlight on. His mouth was distorted in a look of panic, sweat trickling down his creased forehead, his knuckles white from his clenched fists.
Time continued to pass. Sam remained the same.
"Cas….." Dean murmured, although his gentle overtone sounded deafening due to the silence of the room. His voice faltered, unable to continue the rest of his thoughts. But Castiel understood, and with a grief-stricken voice he replied, "I'm sorry Dean, I don't know if he's going to be okay."
Dean nodded, but it wasn't a nod of comprehension but one of thought – his mind was already plotting and strategizing what he would do next in order to save his counterpart. Did he need a conversation with Death? Or…was Sam's soul too broken? Broken beyond repair…his Sammy gone forever, like his father and mother, himself the last man standing. No, it couldn't be. Dean forcefully shook these negative thoughts out of his head, unwilling to face them.
Castiel saw the desolation and despair within Dean's eyes. Whenever he was around him, he always felt so vulnerable and human. Yes, there was a war in heaven – but that wasn't the reason he chose not to spend more time with his favourite Winchesters. It was because he hated how small he felt within Dean's presence. His heart would always beat at a faster pace and he often found himself lost for words. His stomach always felt like dropping, dropping into a vast pit of emptiness that would swallow him up within moments. But more painful than all that was the ache and longing in his heart when Dean wasn't around. Castiel knew he had to endure this though – it was safe. He didn't understand why Dean had caused him to feel the way he did, or what he meant, but he knew it was strange. There was something wrong with him. No angel was supposed to experience this. He had exposed himself too much to the human world
Castiel wasn't sure why but he felt a burning urge within himself to comfort the older Winchester. He felt desperate to touch Dean, caress the warmth of his skin to let him know that soon things would be okay. He felt his body move unconsciously, slowly edging its way to the familiar scent of Dean's aftershave. Dean, however, was too focused on Sam, his eyes locked on his younger brother's immobile body, completely unaware of an approaching hand…
Castiel was sweating, his heart racing so fast it felt like exploding, but he knew that if it did, it would only release euphoria and ecstasy. His hand was only inches away from Dean's and he just felt that he had to…he needed to…
Dean gasped as he felt the warmth of flesh on flesh.
"Cas….?" His eyes were wide with shock, his mouth open as if swallowing a rocket. Castiel immediately released his grip, feeling his cheeks burning away as though set on fire. What was this emotion? Embarrassment? It was horrible. He felt like pouring oil all over himself and lighting a match.
"What…was…that?" Dean finally managed to gasp out, each word a painful stab in Castiel's heart. Castiel couldn't let Dean know – especially now that he knew his love was unrequited.
He muttered, "Oh, I thought it was something you humans do in an attempt to comfort one another." He looked down as he spoke; ashamed of having to lie to the only man he had loved. Yet he had to cover his tracks hide the yearning of his heart.
"Oh…..oh…..ah!" Dean thought he understood. Castiel had simply misinterpreted a human interaction. He wasn't hitting on him. He waited for relief to flood him; but instead was filled with…disappointment? Impossible! He wasn't…He didn't…No…Not with the angel who had guarded him for so long…one that was more like his best friend than…
"Haha, you gotta be careful Cas, if you were serious I'd have to shoot you for being gay!" Dean mocked him in an attempt to forget what had just happened. Castiel forced a chuckle – hiding the misery that silently suffocated him. Yes, Dean could never know…
A gasp. A loud gasp, as though one hadn't received the benefits of oxygen in over a century. A loud gasp that could only come from a giant body like the one on the table. A loud gasp that sounded like Sam's. His body jerked up and his eyes were wide with shock; like a newborn. Sammy was back.