A/N: I've been slacking off in the Mai HiME section, but I've recently caught the Ah! My Goddess, bug as it were. I've always liked the series, but I've been getting more and more involved with it. Besides, it's nice to write romance between a man and a woman every now and then...anyway, it's April, and that means its camp NaNoWriMo time! So, I'll kind of be missing a bit from the FFN as I do some original works.
However, this was a vacation project that came to me during a marathon of watching NCIS, food network programs, and one too many episodes of Doctor Who on one rainy day. The mish-mash of episodes ended up doing odd things to my brain. I was bored out of my mind that day, one thing transcended into another, and soon this little puppy was born…this is about 5 chapters, floating around in the undercurrent of my personal idiocy...namely Fever + Boredom = this.
Shiz/Nat actually starts in CP2.
Disclaimer, there was no forethought given to this, it just sort of…spilled out…the fiction is already completed, just putting up the chapters, though I might combine chapters 4 and 5, since they're both short…in saying that, the ending is an opened ended, and an inconclusive one…if that sort of thing doesn't appeal to you, I would suggest turning away.
Chapter 1
Sometimes, the things you really want in life, are the things you'd never think twice about. Sometimes, the stuff you fixate on for years and years, are just the things you expect of yourself...it doesn't mean you really want them…only that, for whatever reason, they seem like the right thing to do at the time. Happiness is something that's far more abstract than dreams, fame, or fortune.
The simplistic things we take for granted are often the moments that we are actually happy.
That was something I wish I'd learned earlier…but, back then, I wanted to be known for something amazing. I didn't think about how it made me feel. Only that, I felt as if I had to live up to some grand expectation, and ultimately, surpass my mother…it was pretty foolish, really, but I sincerely felt that way. So, I thought that if I could break the mold, I would be given some sort of consolation prize for growing up as I had.
…living in her shadow...
I thought I had to discover something new, or build it with my own two hands…something that belonged only to me. An accomplishment that only I could come up with. I wanted everyone to turn their attention to me. To look my way, and see me as who I really was, and not just my mother's daughter. I wanted someone…anyone…to discover the truth…
I just...I wanted more than anything, to just be my own person, but, that was easier said than done.
In the scientific communities around the world, my mother was famous. Back when she was alive, anyway. I was born and raised among that lab equipment and suffocating prestige. As far back as I can recall, my mom was in the spotlight. As a woman valued on her ideals, principles, and discoveries.
You could say, she was also grooming me to follow in her footsteps…at least, I think she was.
I can't say I really understand what drove her, motivated her, and inspired her…but, at the same time, that's a moot point. Even so, it's all I can remember, because her hard work consumed my life too. At two, I was on her lap when she wrote her thesis statements late into the night. At five, I was building those silly volcanoes out of baking soda, vinegar, and food coloring. At nine, I won my first award in a science fair…
And when I was ten…my mother died.
Thankfully, my mom had a lot of friends, and they took care of me. I never went to a real school…my books were the case records kept in the offices. My homework was to watch and learn. I crunched numbers in accounting in the mornings, schlepped boxes and equipment in the afternoon, and when someone would let me, I'd join them in their latest project. I was earning an allowance that was truly little more than pocket change to buy a soda. At night, I went home with whoever wanted to take me, and normally, I would stay with the Greer family…that is, until I was old enough to stay someplace by myself.
Every day, when someone wanted to praise me, they'd say the same thing…although, I was about thirteen when I took it to heart.
…
"You are your mother's daughter." A smile came from the technician in the robotics department. "You get better, and better every time you come to work on Miyu." He pat the young apprentice gingerly on the shoulder as he passed by. The florescent lighting made his eyes hard to discern from beyond his glasses, but, it was his smirk that let Natsuki know what he was thinking. "Have you decided what field of study you'd like to involve yourself with? I really think you'd flourish in robotics."
"Nah, not really." The girl said, holding the newest upgradeable piece in her hands. "All I do is reboot the systems. Any intern could do it."
"Not just any intern does." He said warmly. "You do it, and you do it well."
"I'm not an intern." She replied dryly, putting the expensive new module down onto the metal table. "I'm just a scientist's kid." She muttered, almost too quietly.
Still, he caught wind of it. "Not just any scientist, Natsuki." He said, pushing the glasses further up the bridge of his nose. "You're the daughter of Saeko, one of the finest in biotech that I've ever seen, don't forget that." While he went about to inspect his longest and most beloved creation, he paused, looking at the machine that looked to be a teenaged girl. "How is Miyu doing today?"
"She's fine." Natsuki said, looking up at one of the monitors. "What, did you think she wouldn't be?"
"When installing new hardware, it's always important to question if the software can handle it." He nodded. "I'm glad she's doing okay. This is a big install."
"Even if Miyu did malfunction, you could fix her." Natsuki shrugged. "She's always been a fine machine…probably always will be."
"Ah, but that's where your wrong." He smiled with a glint in his eye as he raised his glasses to his forehead. "She won't always be a machine. One day, she will have sentience, as that is what I endeavor to do the most." His exclamation was met with a sigh, and he frowned. "Everyone should have a dream, Natsuki." He said, forcing her to look at him. "Everyone should endeavor to have some sort of goal, even you."
"What goal?" Natsuki muttered, nearly collapsing in the chair she sat in. "I don't need one…your goals are enough for me."
"Chin up, girl." He said, brushing off her sadness. "Not everyone has the gifts that you do." As he said this, he handed her a pair of gloves and a lab coat. "Suit up, Miyu gets a new pair of legs today, and you're going to be in on the team. Come hell or high water, she will walk without that horrible gait of hers."
"You said that last month." Natsuki protested, a pout on her young face as she reluctantly took the offered gear.
"I did, didn't I?" He said nodding, knowing that the previous leg adjustments hadn't helped at all…in fact, if he were honest, he'd made matters worse. "The month before that too, if I recall."
"Then why keep it up?" Natsuki muttered in disbelief, slipping into the garments. "You know you'll probably fail this time too."
"One day, I won't." He told her, going over to his workstation. "One day, my efforts will see fruition, you'll see."
"Yeah right." Natsuki went over to the computer, logging the pertinent information. Scanning her thumb print to let the operating system know she had security clearance, she began unfastening the sensitive android on the table. "I'll believe it when I see it."
"You'll see it." He'd said. "That, and plenty more."
….
He was like the father I'd never had, and his words normally meant something to me.
He was the head of the Greer family, but everyone just called him Father…or, they made fun of his age…I went home with him the most at night. His wife had always wanted a child, and I needed a mother, though I resented that more often than not, at the time. They did eventually have one child, Alyssa, but that was probably pure luck.
From thirteen to fifteen, I spent most of my time in robotics. When I was little, Miyu was just an idea, and nothing more…so I remember the first time they'd built her, back when she was just a starting prototype. I grew up around that stupid machine, and at first, she didn't even look human. By the time I was actually old enough to help her, she was on her third full bodied rebuild.
With my mother gone, and the staff as my only family, you could say I dove head first into the idea of building Miyu. At first, all I could do was sit and watch, but the more time I spent, the more I got to do. I remember the first time we got her to walk like a normal human…it was the first time I actually took an interest in something besides boredom.
Something real, and more important than just robotics…but it wasn't because of Miyu…it was because of a person I'd met, who just so happened to start a fire in the lobby.
…
"Are you frickin' kidding me?!" Natsuki shouted, her voice echoing in the large, several story waiting room. "How the hell are we going to get this out?"
"I'm afraid I do not understand." Miyu said in her usual monotone. "Is this supposed to be a joke?"
"No, Miyu." Natsuki sighed. "Look at the floor."
"Seems to be unidentified matter." The android did as she was ordered. "Shall I perform a diagnostic scan on the debris?"
"No." Natsuki muttered, putting a hand to her face in frustration. "Miyu, someone set a bag on fire."
"Oh." The android replied. "If it is a threat, should I deal with this matter accordingly?"
"No!" Natsuki yelled at her, knowing what that meant. "You can't just use a sword to fix things. The jackass that did this is going to pay."
That caused the machine to twitch. "Does not compute." Miyu said then, looking to Natsuki for clarification. "An animal did this?"
"Never mind." Natsuki finally growled. "Looks like we're going to need try to get the burns marks out of the floor."
"Unfortunately, it's going to have to be replaced…but, that won't happen until we can find someone to come out to do it." A woman from the counter said in reply. "The incident happened during lunch break. We have the accused in custody, but, we also have no proof that she was the one that did it."
"We have a genetics wing. A DNA test should be easy enough." Natsuki proclaimed. "Swab the inside of her mouth and get someone to find out. Her prints should be on a lighter or something, at least you'd think."
"Shall I go find the accused?" Miyu asked, looking for direction and order.
"I'll go find her." Natsuki said. "You just...you stay." She held up her hands, in hopes of getting the android to listen. "Don't go wandering off alone."
"Send a call to forensics." Natsuki told the clerk at the front desk. "Tell them I'm bringing whoever did this."
"It isn't quite that simple, I'm afraid." Mr. Greer said with a long suffering sigh, having made his way to the lobby. "The girl is a delinquent, no doubts there, but, she is a special case." The little girl he was holding, his daughter, wanted to be put down, so he relented. "As of today, Natsuki, you'll have a new bunk-mate."
"What did she do?" Natsuki muttered, picking up Alyssa when the small child finally made her way over to Natsuki's side.
"Don't judge her before you get to know her." It was all that Mr. Greer said before pointing down the hall. "She's a smart cookie, even if she is troublesome."
Natsuki frowned before passing the little girl back to her father. The little one whined, but Natsuki just sighed. "Sorry, Alyssa…looks like you're stuck with him until I get back." Offering the little girl a grin, Natsuki glanced over to Miyu. "Play with Alyssa until I get back, okay?"
"Affirmative." Miyu answered with a nod.
"Stop talking like a robot." Natsuki growled at her. "You'll scare the kid." She made her way down the hall, a path she knew well, seeing as it was the way to the elevators, and to the meeting rooms. There was an entrance to the first of several presentation rooms too, but she bypassed all of it. She knew where the trouble maker was probably waiting, and with a sigh, she'd finally made it to the personnel elevator at the end of the hall.
With a swipe of her card key, she was granted access to the basement floors, and went to the lowest level. Her own apartment. There, she found the girl, who looked to be only a little younger than herself. "Let me guess, classic pranks one-o-one…feces in a paper bag."
The girl with fire red hair looked up from the comic book she'd pulled from one of the shelves, a cocky grin on her face. "Amazing what dog crap will do, huh?"
"Don't sound so proud of it." Natsuki sighed, crossing her arms. "Not only are the fumes bad for your lungs, you could have set the entire building on fire…what are you, a pyromaniac?"
"No, nothing like that. I just got bored." The girl said, her lime green eyes still reflecting the sentiment. "I was sitting in that damn lobby for over an hour, I figured I'd liven things up a bit."
"By setting excrement on fire…" Natsuki couldn't believe it. "Why are you here, exactly?" She asked with a huff, pulling the manga from the girl's hands.
"Reasons." The teen shrugged. "I'll be here for a while, I guess." Although she seemed not to care, there was a distinct aloofness in her eyes, and it was one Natsuki caught easily.
"From where?" Natsuki pressed, the withdrawn attitude bothered her. "Who sent you here?" It bothered her even more than the second bed that found its place in the far corner of her living space.
"They didn't send me here." The girl finally growled. "I came here, alright!"
"Jesus, calm down…" Natsuki sighed. "What's with you?"
"Nothing." The redhead said, standing and going over to the elevator. "Just, stay the hell out of it."
…
At first I was confused…and pissed…but then, I remembered that I had to take some unmarked boxes up to the medical floor. When I got there, she was there too, sitting out in the hall. I was almost afraid to go into the room…
Almost, but not quite.
When I walked in, I saw a woman hooked up to every life support machine we had in the facility worth mentioning. Turns out, the woman was in a coma, a deep one. None of the doctors at the general hospital could pull her out of it, and ours were some of the best worldwide. We had experimental medicine and doctors willing enough to try them.
I never had a friend my own age before…only hard working, if not eccentric adults. Doctor Gal is the kind of person who's fun loving, hardworking, and to some degree, completely insane. She saw after all of my medical care when I was little, and still hovers around me when I'm sick to this day…she's considered the best we have, and that was a title she had since my mother was alive.
Turns out, she'd taken the rather obscure case…and along with it, came Nao.
…
"Such a face doesn't suit you." A short woman sighed, coming to stand on a stool to raise her height. She paused to see beyond the glass window, and then nodded to herself in what seemed to be approval. "What's eating you?"
"Nothing." Natsuki should have known such an answer wouldn't fly.
"It's always something." Gal smirked, pushing her jet black hair out of her face, the circles of green and golden hair dye showing up vividly under the florescent lights. "Did you eat a good breakfast today?" She asked, raising her hand to Natsuki's forehead. "You're looking a little pale."
"I'm fine." Natsuki said coolly, pushing that inquiring hand away. "Just memories is all."
"Five years isn't all that long ago, when you think about it." The small admission was the world to a woman like Gal, who knew Natsuki's difficulties all too well. "No matter, I suppose." She said easily enough, stuffing her hands into her deep coat pockets. "Dwelling on the past won't change it, and I doubt Saeko would want us to fuss over it."
"Hm." Natsuki agreed, though such a soft and gruff sound often meant the opposite. Natsuki didn't agree, not really. Not when she felt like she was looking in on a ghost of her past. "There's a girl in the hall…" Natsuki said then, a distant frown on her features.
"Her name?" Gal asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Dunno." Natsuki shrugged. "Didn't say."
"You never asked." Gal replied knowingly.
"Don't need to." Natsuki murmured.
"Didn't want to." Gal fired back.
"Damn it, I hate it when you do that!" Natsuki lost the fight, and she knew it, giving the doctor a small, but meaningful shove. "Why do you always have to be right?"
Gal simply smirked. "Because I'm an ass?"
"No." The offering was met with Natsuki's own sigh. "You're not."
"Someone's going to be right sooner or later, kiddo." Still as she leaned easily on the wall so that she could face Natsuki. She let some of that humor fall from her voice. "It'll be good for you to have someone your own age to chill out with. To be honest, I was getting worried about that."
"Yeah, 'bout what?" Natsuki asked, a small frown forming on her face again.
"You." Gal said simply. "You're fifteen, Natsuki, don't you think it's time to enjoy life a little?" As she said this, she pulled out the wallet she kept in her back pocket. "Saeko was a wild one at your age, you know? Always restless. You couldn't tie her down to save her. She smoked, drank, and cursed like a sailor. Gave your dad a real run for his money when they were young."
Natsuki saw all sorts of pictures, but she couldn't bring herself to really look at them. Her mother seemed to be in every single one, and Natsuki knew they had been taken before she'd even been born. "Yeah, well can't prove it by me."
"I can." Gal said fondly. "I look at you, and I see a lot of your mom twinkling somewhere in the back of your eyes." When Natsuki gave her back the wallet, Gal just shrugged impassively. "Why do you think she took Midori on as an apprentice?"
"Because she's insanely smart." Natsuki said, knowing that to be true. "That's why she took Midori on."
"That is one reason." Gal agreed. "But, she took Midori on because that girl managed to get herself put on academic probation. It looked good on the records that Midori continued to pursue some sort of academic activity. That's why your mom did it. Saeko had a soft spot of rebellion, always felt as if it was a woman's prerogative to take convention and turn it on its head."
Just then, they heard the intercom chime. "Professor Gal, we need you in exam room B."
"Ah, well, that would be my cue." Gal nodded, hopping off of the stool she was standing on. "Life at fifteen, can only happen at fifteen."
"You've been hanging around Midori too much." Natsuki sighed.
"Have I?" Gal asked. "Or do you think perhaps it's the other way around?"
"Who cares?" Natsuki groused. "You're both weird."
…
I didn't know the circumstances…but, I knew one thing…I was stuck with that delinquent.
I liked to play with Alyssa, and I didn't mind hanging out with Miyu to help with her the complicated programming, but…I guess…well, there was just something about living with another teenager. It made me a bit uncomfortable, and for weeks, I didn't talk to her.
Not really…anyway…we cursed at each other, but that was about it.
She always seemed so lonely, and that hit closer to home than I wanted to admit. It dug up old memories and ate at me…made me sick once or twice too…I couldn't seem to hold my lunch when I realized she was worming her way into a depression…I just kept seeing myself…how I was when I was ten…I remembered the cold feeling, and lack of caring…the earth could have swallowed me whole, and I would have been thankful…I could see those same aspects in Nao…and, it really made me wonder how different we really were.
I came to one conclusion…
The difference was, I learned how to keep busy. I forced myself to become happy, but seeing that girl sad all the time, really pissed me off. Now, she's one of my best friends…but back then, we really didn't mesh well…
…
"If you have time to sit there every day, you have time to help out around here." Natsuki said, throwing a white lab coat into the younger teen's face. "Come on, get moving."
"Screw off." It was dark, tired, and filled with a loneliness that was very distinct.
One that Natsuki knew all too well…the same one she had buried deep, a long time ago. "Why?" It struck a cord to hear it. "So you can sit there all damn day again?"
"Just like I do every day." The teen said, her lime green eyes not leave the floor they stared at. "What else is there to do?"
"Live." Natsuki said, her voice a bit harsher than she wanted it to be. "You'll die, if you keep sitting there like that."
"Bullshit." The girl murmured, though it was enough to make her look up at Natsuki.
"I'm being real." Natsuki said, sitting down beside the girl, sliding a few boxes off to the side. "Studies have shown, depressed people suffer more, get sick more easily…die at an earlier age." Natsuki shrugged. "You hardly eat, I know you don't sleep…you keep that up, you will die, one day."
"Everyone dies eventually. You don't need a study to tell you that." The younger teen muttered dryly. "What are you, an idiot?"
"God, I hope not." Natsuki said rolling her eyes. "My mom was one of the smartest Japanese women alive, about five years ago…and my dad, I guess he was a pretty good businessman from America…if I'm an idiot, when I die, I'll never hear the end of it."
"Ah, you're a half breed." The redhead laughed. "A real mutt…"
"You're a jerk." Natsuki sighed. "At least call me Natsuki, since that is my name."
"Nao." The redhead nodded. "But, you're still a damn mutt…so, that's what I'm going to call you."
"More and more, the term jackass seems befitting for you." Natsuki sighed, but she stood up, stretching her back as she did so. "Look, you can sit there, bored out of your mind, or you can haul boxes with me…your choice."
"What do I get out of it?" Nao asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Something to do." Natsuki answered, wondering why she was still putting up with this girl. "If you're lucky, Gal may foot the bill for a cream soda…if not, we can always bum some chips in the cafeteria."
"You act like you can do whatever you want." Nao said as she put on the lab coat. "You own the place, or something?"
"I wish." Natsuki said with a smirk. "I'm just the orphan of the building. Mom used to work here, so, you could say they kind of took me in."
"Sounds pretty dumb to me." Nao shrugged.
"It is." Natsuki laughed. "But, that's how it goes, I guess."
…
I never knew what it was like to be a normal teenager…but, I can't say I really cared about it. Time went on, and eventually I found myself as a seventeen year old with no GED or diploma, but a world of knowledge that had always been around me. Contrary to popular belief, my understanding of the world wasn't so much stunted, as it was guided in a very direct path. I didn't mind that, because it had always been what I'd always known…
They call the method "unschooling" a questionable, and often ridiculed teaching style, in which the child dictates the core curriculum that they're most interested in. Basically, learning what they want to learn, and do so by living their day to day lives. I was motivated in enough ways, it worked better for me. That's what Gal says. She laughs, saying I would have gotten bored and uninspired in the class room, and, she probably right.
That type of upbringing had its own fair share of downsides, but at the time, I was confident that it didn't matter. I believed fully that I had been born and raised to surpass my mother, and, I believed I'd lived a lifestyle that would allow me to do just that. Things went on as they always had…but, I still felt like I was missing something huge…my life just didn't seem right…as if, something just wasn't there…and it should have been.
I can't explain it well, but, at that time, I found myself between a rock and a hard place…because I knew what I wanted, but I had no idea how to attain that desire. It wasn't that I was entirely clueless, but when you have a full lab at your disposal, and the possibilities are nearly endless, you realize how small one person really is…and, I realized how influential one person, like my mom, can really be.
I remember when I inherited her old office, and I wondered if the life I lived, was really the life I wanted it to be…I struggled a lot with that, when I was seventeen.
…
"You should have seen the look on his face." Nao cackled, draping herself over Natsuki's bed, the booze getting to her. "Old man Greer was completely pissed!"
"I would be too." Natsuki frowned, rolling Nao off of her legs. "You've got to stop sneaking out…you're a minor and under his watch." She put the book she was reading on the nightstand. "Besides, I'm the one in charge at night…he'll kill me if he finds you walking around town at night without a responsible adult." When her eyes cut to Midori, she sighed. "Responsible being the objective word."
"You should so come with me then!" Nao laughed. "You haven't lived until you've taken a beer bong challenge."
"How much did you give her?!" Natsuki roared, looking at her kitchenette, where Midori was sprawled out on the cold wooden floor, uttering nonsensical pleasantries to the cool feeling of tile on her forehead.
"Shh!" Midori raised her fingers to her lips. "Shhh…old man Greer might be watching." She started snickering. "There are cameras in the walls."
"Not down here there isn't." Natsuki rolled her eyes. "Only on the main floors of the building." She said, looking back over to her tipsy friend. "Nao, go get in your own bed if you want to sleep."
"Dun wanna." Nao snuggled closer to Natsuki, tucking her head into the crook of Natsuki's neck. "You're warm."
She shoved the girl off the bed entirely this time. "Get off!" As Nao pushed herself up from the floor with a smirk, Natsuki sighed. "What?"
"Dude, the Fujino heir was there." Nao said with a cat at the canary smile. "Turns out, it's a chick!" With her hands she started making overly rude gestures. "A hot one, should have seen her, I'm telling ya…"
Natsuki put a hand to her face, and sighed. "Earth to Nao, stop being an idiot." She licked her lips, and tried to get the image out of her head. "Shizuru Fujino would not be caught dead at a midnight rave, she's got better places to be." I tried not to think of the fact that she came into the building with her father every other week. "The Fujino's are one of our top investors."
"She's around our age too…a year or two older than you." Nao piped back up. "You should nab her one day, take her to a coffee place, or something."
"Nao, go to bed." Natsuki rolled over, turning her back to Nao. "You're drunk."
"Am not!" Nao jumped up. "Just a wee bit tipsy…"
Having lost all restraint, Natsuki threw her wallet in Nao's face. "Go get something to eat from the cafeteria, just buzz off before I really do murder you."
Once it was quiet, and Nao was gone…Natsuki had to admit, there was something about that Fujino girl. She'd always seen the young heiress around in her younger years, especially during the showcases held in the summer. Natsuki made it a point to avoid her, keeping her head down, and her presence nonexistent. It wasn't that she had to do that, the family knew of Natsuki's situation…but, that was the entire problem.
Natsuki didn't want to be looked down on, or pitied, and she preferred her solitude anyway.
She couldn't sleep, so she got up and went to the top floor of the building, stepping out onto the sky-walk that lead to a balcony. There, she lit a cigarette, but she didn't put it in her mouth…instead, she put it in the nearby ashtray. An offering for the departed.
"What do you want from me?" Natsuki asked to the sky above her head, anger lacing her tone. "Do I follow your footsteps, or do I just stick with chilling around for my whole life?" When she didn't receive a response, she finally broke down. "Damn it mom…" She murmured. "Damn you!"
"Harsh, Natsuki." Gal spoke, leaning over the edge of the roof that she was laying on. "You two get into a fight or something?"
"She's not here." Natsuki bit out, angry at being overheard. "How can you fight with a ghost?"
"It happens." Gal said, laying back down and out of sight. "You'd think it's impossible, but, sometimes I yell at her too…for not being here…I tell her that if she was, I'd slap the shit out of her."
"And I thought I was crazy." Natsuki said then, looking down at the tiny burning coals.
"Not crazy…just lost." Gal said then, her voice a soothing, quiet lilt. "You're too young to know your path in life." With that, a chuckle slipped out. "I'd be worried about you, if you had everything all figured out."
"Aren't people supposed to figure that crap out at my age?" Natsuki retorted, her mind frayed. "I'm seventeen…and no matter what I do, I'm compared to her." Natsuki plopped down in the wicker chair in the corner. "We're nothing alike."
"Uh huh, funny you say that." Gal just laughed at the irony. "At seventeen, your mother was trying to see how far she could get on a pack of luckies, and a few bills in her pocket…she didn't even get into university until she was twenty."
"That's bogus." Natsuki said then. "Why the hell not?"
"Couldn't afford it." Gal said scratching her head. "Natsuki, you need to realize, your mom ditched home way before that. She worked her way up from nothing to everything…she didn't have a plan in life, hell your father didn't even have a damn condom."
"But that just…" Natsuki shook her head. "How does a person like that become a scientist?"
"She screws around with a worthless man, like your dad." Gal said softly. "Finds out she's knocked up." Gal became quiet then. "She cried over that for a while, she didn't know what to do."
"Jesus…" Natsuki murmured, but Gal just continued.
"She gets into university on a snowballs chance in hell." Gal said quietly. "Proves everyone wrong by passing with flying colors, and getting her master's degree in half the time…she got an internship here, and the rest, as they say, is history."
Natsuki couldn't say anything to that, she was speechless. Still, when she felt Gal pat her on the back, she looked over to meet Gal's eyes. "She was a strong woman Natsuki…you're a strong one too…you'll figure things out, it just takes time. That's all."
"Yeah, well, it isn't like I'm going to take off with no money, or a plan." Natsuki replied bitterly.
"Don't see why not." Gal shrugged, putting another cigarette to her mouth. "Worked for your mom and me." She left the rest of the pack on the ledge, along with the lighter. "People like us don't do too well, when we think too hard. If we do that, we just get stressed…just go with the flow, and don't block out opportunities."
…
There was a lot of sense in that, and, Gal knew me pretty well…so, that night I tore up a few notebooks I'd been scribbling ideas in. That wasn't smart, and looking back, I kind of regret that…but, I think the lesson is still there. I still recall what was written in those books…I know what those dreams were, and the complicated plans that I thought might make millions. Even though I'd never utter them to a soul, they didn't need to have a form to have that important meaning…even though, I still kind of wish I had them on paper.
There is one project I might build, one day…
...
"Hey, you wanna get outta here?" Natsuki asked Nao one extremely early morning, the chill was enough that she could see her breath. "Just take off one day, and never look back…ever thought about doing that?"
"This isn't a movie." Nao had been laughing at first, but when she realized Natsuki had meant it, she grew quiet. "I doubt the streets are any place for you."
"They are for you?" Natsuki asked then. "Come on, that's a load."
"Naw, I mean…if you think about it, we'd probably end up dead." Nao looked out, over the city streets, the sun was just about to rise. "For a person like me, that might be normal…even fitting…but everyone loves you."
"I can't swallow that." Natsuki shook her head. "Don't put me on a pedestal."
"I'm not." Nao murmured. "I think you're frickin' stupid."
"Well, thanks, asshole." Natsuki didn't budge when Nao leaned into her.
"Yeah, don't mention it." It was times like this that made everything okay. The restless energy seemed to vanish, as if the darkness in the sky was some void that sucked it away. "There's something to all of that crap that Gal bitches about…if she can't wake my mom up, I will."
"Gal taking you on?" Natsuki asked, it was the first she'd heard of it.
"Haven't asked her." Nao shrugged. "Besides, I'd probably be total crap as an apprentice…I hate taking orders." The long pause had gone on for long enough. "What about you?"
"I'll let you know, once I figure that out." Natsuki sighed, falling back to lay down entirely on the roof. Gal was right...sometimes, it was just better not to think so hard.