Going Their Own Way

Ch 1: Admitting

A/N: My second fanfic! As always reviews are appreciated, no flames only constructive criticism! This fanfic is just after the war with the Chitauri, when the Avengers go their separate ways. Kind of about how they unwind, what all they do, blah blah. Enjoy!

Now, for my precious reviewers. Thank you so much! You can't believe how happy I was to see two reviews on the very same day I posted my first fanfic!

Guest: thank you so much for your encouraging words! They made me squeal like it was my birthday, New Years Eve and last day of school all rolled into one! 3

MiraSaya16: thanks a lot for your tips! I loved the fact that you replied so soon! Yours being the first (I think?) review I jumped up and down!

I also would like suggestions for stories- for example, a song, a quote, a pairing, etc. Send me a PM, it's easier to check. If anybody would like to co-write, I'd be glad. They could mail me chapters or the one-shot and I could elaborate it, post it and of course, give the due credit! Again PM me! If there is something mega-important, you can ask for my mail id.

Disclaimer: Not me, Stan Lee was the guy who got lucky!

Now, on with the main feature presentation, the story begins now.

It was finally over. That nerve-wracking fight, all those Chitauri he'd taken down, Loki- that sonofabitch! Because of him, even now the only people who completely trusted him were the Avengers: Tony, Cap, Tasha, Bruce and Thor. He'd helped Ironman, Captain America, Hulk and Black Widow in battle and Thor would trust anyone who proved his mettle and honesty.

It was time to take a break, he knew he had to get away from this crowd of people and sort out his thoughts. All those memories from the time when Loki had taken control of him; they needed to be washed away somehow. There was only one way he could think of: time off from work. That was such a foreign concept to him, never till now had he taken a holiday willingly.

Only one person could help him out now- Natasha.

He looked at the time. 11:15 pm. She'd probably be awake, not wanting to have nightmares.

Slipping off his bed, he pulled on some clothes and crept down the halls of the heli-carrier to her room. As he had expected, she was awake practicing some hand-to-hand on a dummy she kept.

"Hey Tasha? Can I talk to you awhile? Couldn't sleep.", he said.

"Yeah sure, have a seat.", she said, gesturing to the sofa and pulling off her gloves. "What happened?"

"I was thinking about the war, about the people we lost, about Phil… and how Loki possessed me. I think- I know I need a break now or I'll go berserk."

"You, Clinton Barton, want to go on vacation? You're pulling my leg. Actually no you're not. I know that face, it's your I'm-so-serious-don't-mess-with-me face. Yeah sure, why not? Everybody needs a vacation!"

He now knew she had been drinking. Natasha Romanoff could hold her alcohol but she'd overdone it this time. "Tasha, have you been drinking? You never blubber and you're definitely blubbering now. What happened?"

She suddenly looked up at him, tears in her eyes and façade crumbling."So many people died Clint. I joined this so I could have a chance to wipe out all that red in my ledger. I'M AN ASSASSIN FOR GOD'S SAKE! This is not what I thought I'd do with my life! I had hopes, aspirations, and dreams just like any young woman. And now," she sighed," here I am, killing more people."

"Tasha, don't cry. I know how hard it is, trust me, every day of my life I wish I could have had a normal life with family… with you.", he said putting his arms around her.

"Really Clint?"

"Yeah, really and truly Tasha."

And Natasha having to put on a brave face and dismiss the moment, she said," So, a vacation huh? Well we could go to the facility."

"What facility?"

"You know, the one S.H.I.E.L.D owns? In the forests in the Great Bahamas? You don't know." It wasn't a question. "Phil probably never thought you'd want to go. Anyways, get packed. I'll talk to Fury and we can leave first thing in the morning. Say, 8 o'clock?"

"Sure that would be fine. So… I'll just umm… go now." Way to ruin the moment, he thought as they parted to get ready. He wondered if she would be okay but didn't push, just walked back to his room.

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Natasha fell into her room, with her head spinning. She knew she'd gone overboard with the drink this time, but she couldn't think of any other way to numb the pain of Phil's death. Unconsciously he'd grown on her like an older brother. Losing him had reopened all her old wounds. The pain of all she had lost felt fresh again, as if it had just happened. So she'd gone out and entered the first bar she could find and ordered the strongest drink she could think of.

Flashback:

She remembered stumbling into a pub, something about a Goat and Whiskers. She didn't bother with memorizing the name. Ignoring all the catcalls and wolf-whistles, she made her way to the bar. She seated herself on the barstool and ordered a drink. Gulping it down, she asked for another.

The pub owner and bartender raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He'd been witness to much heartbreak. This, this was something similar and different all at the same time. She drank it quickly, ignoring the burning sensation in her throat, asking for another, finishing it and paying the tab.

Once she was done she got up, swayed a little and began making her way out the door. Stumbling over the doorstep, she flagged a cab and gave the cabbie directions to a place near where the carrier was docked. She paid him and waited till he left before walking up and getting on board.

She remembered being angry, really angry at Loki, at Phil for not holding on, at herself for not being there to stop it. She hated being helpless. Looking for a way to release all the tension and the anger, her gaze landed on the dummy. Almost mechanically, she began pulling on her gloves. Thud. Smack. Thunk. Hitting it, again and again.

She wished Clint was here. As if her thoughts had summoned him, he knocked and entered with her permission. It was never good to sneak up on an assassin, one who could kill you with her finger in ten different ways.

Flashback ends.

She had broken down in the middle of their conversation when he asked her what happened. She told him everything, him being the one person she relaxed around and trusted with her life, a trust he never broke. She agreed with him. He needed a vacation and most probably so did she.

She looked at the time, 11:40 pm. She resolved to pack quickly and get a few hours of sleep. Grabbing her large duffel, she threw in some yoga pants, tanks, jeans, shirts and tops, flip-flops, a pair of heels and even three attractive dresses. Wow, that bag could hold a lot. But then, she did expect to be away for at least two weeks. She laid out her travelling clothes and boots and then got under the covers of her bed. She fell asleep wondering how Clint was doing, not knowing he was thinking about her too.

A/N: Long chapter for you guys! Next Chapter, I'll probably continue about these two and then move on to the other Avengers. As always, review! You'd make my day!