Well, I must give a bit of credit to my dear friend SiriuslyBlackHearted for writing the beginning of this story. The rest is of my own creation. We wanted to work on this together, but we kind of gave up on it, and since it was saved on my computer, I did the honors of finishing it. . . at one in the morning 'cause I got bored.
Forgive me if it's not up to standard. I was running on soda and cigarettes when I wrote this. :) (Kidding about the cigarette thing, by the way. Maybe. I love to keep you guessing.)
'Tis a songfic. Song - Time is Running Out; By - Muse. Lovely song, really. I absolutely love it, as does SiriuslyBlackHearted, hence the reason we used it. Also the fact that it fits beautifully with the story. Duh.
Enjoy!
Time Is Running Out
Black was not a color; it was a shade. Remus Lupin wanted to emerge himself in everything to do with the shade of black, including Sirius. It had been proving hard often to submerge himself in Sirius Black. It was more then Lupin could take.
'I think I'm drowning...asphyxiated. I wanna break the spell you created...You're something beautiful, a contradiction...I wanna play the game, I want the friction...'
Could he handle the friction of Sirius against him? Who knows. What wouldn't kill him would make him stronger.
'You will be the death of me...Yeah, you will be the death of me...'
But at least death would taste sweet and not bitter. At least he wouldn't die from his lycanthropy, or from that fucking psychopath Voldymelts, or whatever. At least he would die in Sirius' arms.
"Moony, want a fag?"
"I'm not a fag."
"I never said you were, although you seem quite adamant to deny it. Now, let's try this once more. Want a cigarette?" James Potter asked. He didn't wait for a reply and chucked a pack at Remus. "Where's Padfoot tonight?"
"The hell if I know." Moony answered vehemently. "Probably up at the Astronomy tower getting off with some girl."
"I heard he was at the Astronomy tower last night, but not with a girl." A look passed between the two friends. "I'm surprised, Moony, that he actually told me. Sirius may be the best friend I have in this world, but we usually don't discuss our love lives and snoggings. So my question is, why do you deny being gay?"
"Prongs, have you seen Padfoot? Even if I admitted to being gay, he's still not sure of himself, he told me that last night. He's most likely bisexual, and if he is, he definitely favors females, still leaving me with no chance."
"But you made outཀ"
"Look at all the other girls he's kissed and left. What makes me any different?"
"You're a friend, Moonyཀ"
"To hell with friends."
'Bury it. I won't let you bury it. I won't let you smother it. I won't let you murder it.'
James sighed, taking a long drag off his cigarette. Remus could be impossible at times. As clever as the werewolf was, there were times when he just couldn't see what was right in front of him. Remus was so inexorable when it came to love, for he always found it so impossible that anybody may consider adoring him, even his own great friend.
"Yeah, Sirius can be a bit of a womanizer," James said, flicking the ash from his cigarette as Remus lit his own, "But you are not a woman."
"Good eye, Prongs," Remus shot back, blowing a particularly large cloud of smoke into the air. "Not like it matters anyways. No one can tie that one down."
Chuckling lightly at Remus' choice of words, James replied, "If anyone can, it's you. Just give it a try, Moony."
"Why cause myself the pain?" the werewolf asked, clearly in a depressed mood tonight, "He'd just shove it in my face." A look of hurt and disgust passed over the boy's features. James could tell even Remus didn't believe a word he was saying.
"Stop being such a downer, Remus. Padfoot likes you. Hell, he may even love you for all we know. Why don't you go find him, and tell him how you feel?" James threw the last part out there, not sure what Remus would make of it. James hated watching his best mates dance around each other. They could be so happy together if they'd get over themselves. That, coming from the king of big-headedness himself.
'And our time is running out. And our time is running out. Can't push it underground. Can't stop me screaming out.'
"And if I walk in on him and some girl? What then?" Remus was quite the pessimist tonight.
"I'll get the map. If he's with a girl, then you don't have to go, but if he's alone, you do. Deal?" James held his free hand out to his companion, waiting for an agreement.
There was a heavy sigh, and a low breath as smoke danced above the boys' heads. Remus reluctantly extended his arm, "Fine."
'I wanted freedom. Bound and restricted. I tried to give you up, but I'm addicted.'
Two cigarettes, and ten minutes later, James returned, the Marauder's Map tucked neatly under his arm. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." James muttered, his wand upon the parchment.
Spider webs of ink formed all along the parchment, detailing every aspect of the castle in which they sat. Both boys poured over the map, searching every corner of the school for a dot labeled 'Sirius Black'.
"There," James exclaimed as he pointed to the Astronomy Tower. And he was correct. Remus sighed deeply, expecting to see some other dot right along side him, but there was no other dot to be seen. It was only Sirius.
'Now that you know I'm trapped, sense of elation. You never dreamed of breaking this fixation. You will squeeze the life out of me.'
"Fuck," Remus cursed under his breath, knowing he'd now be forced to venture to that fateful tower with Sirius yet again. Would tonight be different? Would tonight really mean something? To both of them? Remus didn't want to be another name on Sirius' list. He wanted to conquer the fucking list, throwing all others upon into the dirt.
"Come on, Moony," James urged, smiling wickedly, "We shook on it."
"Yeah, yeah," the werewolf replied, taking the map from the table, "I'm taking this with me. Just incase he's waiting for someone."
Chuckling again, James waved his friend off, "See you later, Moony. Behave yourselves!"
With a roll of the eyes, Remus left James, in the direction of the Astronomy Tower. It took mere minutes to reach, and according to the map, no one else was headed there. Remus couldn't be sure if he found that to be a relief of a complication. Either way, he had no choice. He'd have to talk to Sirius.
'Bury it. I won't let you bury it. I won' let you smother it. I won't let you murder it.'
Quietly creaking open the Astronomy Tower's heavy wooden door, Remus peered inside, the map safely in his pocket, blank as a piece of old parchment.
"Sirius?" he whispered to the shadows, "Sirius, are you in here?"
"What are you doing up here, Moony?" came a voice immediately recognized as Sirius'. Though, Remus knew he'd be here anyways. The map never lied.
"I figured you'd be up here, and I felt like joining you. Unless you're waiting for someone, of course," Remus added, subtly hinting at the wanted knowledge: Was Sirius waiting for someone?
Sirius looked at Remus from his shadowy corner, as the tawny boy moved closer, finally taking a seat beside him, "No, no one's coming tonight," Sirius said, "Just wanted to sit up here and think for a while. But you're welcome to stay!" he added, as Remus made a movement as though he were to stand up and leave.
'And our time is running out. And our time is running out. Can't push it underground. Can't stop me screaming out.'
Settling back into his seat, Remus spoke, "Do you mind if we talk?" He figured, if he had to sit up here with the one person on this earth he truly loved, they may as well talk about. . . . Well, the previous night's events.
Waving his hand lazily, Sirius responded, "No, not at all. What is it you wish to talk about?" Sirius knew exactly what Remus wanted to talk about. It was the same thing Sirius had been thinking about all day. It was the same thing that drove Sirius to return to this tower, just to be here, imagining it all happening again.
"Er," Remus began slowly. For some reason, he didn't want to say it, "L-Last night, I guess." Well, that wasn't so hard.
"Oh," said Sirius, clearly playing the dumb act, "What about las-"
"You know bloody well what." Remus cut him off. Sirius didn't have to play dumb. Remus just wanted to talk to him. So dammit, they were going to talk.
'How did it come to this? Oooo, Ooo, Ooo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Oooo, Ooo, Ooo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oooo, Ooo, Ooo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeaaaah.'
"I-I know," Sirius admitted, taking Remus' face carefully in his hands, turning it towards him.
Remus allowed his face to be taken and shifted by Sirius' slightly calloused Beater's hands. "Did it mean anything, Sirius?" Remus blurted out, before thinking about what he was saying. "Did last night mean anything more than just another snogging to you?" Well, that can of worms was now open and ready for the lake.
'Yeah, you will suck the life out of me.'
Sirius' eyes visibly widened as Remus spoke. How could Remus think last night didn't mean anything to Sirius? Last night had meant everything to Sirius. "Yes, Remus," Sirius said, still grasping Remus' face with his hands, now mere inches from his own, "Last night meant more to me than you could ever imagine." Yeah, it was cheesy, but it was the truth!
"So," Remus gave Sirius a piercing stare, "I'm not just another name to add to your snogging list?"
"What?" Sirius asked, surprised and dramatically appalled, "No! Moony, I- You mean more to me than anything. You would never be 'Just another snogging'. Never."
"Good," Remus said, softening his look as he wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist, staring deep into those stormy eyes, "I don't ever want to be 'Just another snogging'."
'Bury it. I won't let you bury it. I won't let you smother it. I won't let you murder it.'
There was a fire burning in Remus' eyes. The same fire that had been there the night before. Kindled by Sirius and fueled by love. It was good to see that fire had yet to die out.
" I love you, Remus." The words escaped his lips before they registered even in his own brain. Sirius had said the words in his head countless times, but saying them out loud, with Remus so close, made them feel so much more real. It was like they finally had meaning.
Without a moment's hesitation, Remus leaned in, smothering Sirius' lips with his own. That's all he'd needed. He needed to hear it from Sirius. He had to know that Sirius loved him.
'Our time is running out. And our time is running out. Can't push it underground. Can't stop me screaming out.'
Pleasantly surprised, Sirius gently deepened the kiss with more pressure and speed, moving his hands into Remus' sandy hair, lightly entwining his fingers in those gorgeous locks. It felt so good to have his love's lips upon his own once again, but for some reason, tonight wasn't the same as previously. Tonight, there was such a passion behind those lips, it seemed as though they were made for this; they were made for each other.
As with all good things, it was over all too soon. Remus pulled away, breathing heavily as his lungs seemed to beg for air, no matter how deeply he inhaled. The power, the passion, of that one kiss.
"I love you too, Sirius," Remus whispered into his lover's ear as he was pulled into a tight embrace. "I love you too."
Somewhere in the back of Remus' blissfully numb mind, a little voice laughed, 'James is never going to let you live this down.'
'How did it come to this? Oooo, Ooo, Ooo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Oooo, Ooo, Ooo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oooo, Ooo, Ooo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeaaaah.'
And, as always, I thank you so much for reading. I desperately hoped you enjoyed our little Songfic Oneshot. 'Twas fun to write. Much love to all my loverly readers. . . and Reviewers! If you don't mind:)
Prongsie :)