Another Ordinary Day For Businessman Pete Peterstein.
Or so it had seemed…
(It is lunch break for our Hero)
Pete: Ah, lunch time already? My how time flies when one is absurdly efficient. Now to leave these offices for a meal.
(The Hero steps out of the great work building. Suddenly an obstruction presented itself for Hero's foot. Twas a fellow worker face down before the doors. Hero looks down inquisitively)
Pete: Excuse me good sir, you seem to be obstructing my path. Mayhaps you could get up or at the very least move to some other spot on the ground not in contact to mine self.
(Man doesn't respond or even hints movement. Hero taps side of man forcefully with tip of loafers. Man still doesn't yield. Hero overlooks Man further. Hero becomes struck with Realization: Man twert dead)
Pete: Goodness Sake!
(Hero's Shock raised 45%. Suddenly another worker lands near current situation with a great noise, also dead. Hero's Surprise elevated temporarily to 70. Moments later another dead Man lands near Hero, followed by yet another. Hero becomes afflicted with Stumped status)
Pete: Hold on, what is all this now?
(Suspicion raised 32%. A quick Full-Area glance reveals streets and even other buildings' perimeters packed with piles of other deceased persons in great quantity, steadily increasing from raining Dead Bodies. Suspicion and Disgust levels increased 57%. Hero Suspicion replaced with Hero Deduction)
Pete: Wait, this has to the work of (Dramatic Close-Up selected): Light Yagami!
Great Death-trophe!!
A Hero's Goodwill Journey!
*Survivor by Destiny's Child required; play now to continue*
Pete: I must put a stop to this madness! Light has to be found! But there are so many Dead Bodies crowding the streets. I'll need assistance. Will you help me?
(Enter Elite Beat Agents)
J: Sure thing kid we'll help ya!
Morris: Certainly!
(Hero receives Back-Up. Hero's Courage and Conviction raised greatly. Objective received: Cut through Dead Body-filled city streets in search of Light Yagami)
Stage Start!
o/ Now that you are out of my life,
I'm so much better! o/
o/ You thought that I'd be weak without ya,
But I'm stronger! o/
o/ You thought that I'd be broke without ya,
But I'm richer! o/
o/ You thought that I'd be sad without ya,
I laugh harder! o/
o/ You thought I wouldn't grow without ya,
Now I'm wiiser! o/
o/ You thought that I'd be helpless without ya,
But I'm smarter! o/
o/ You thought that I'd be stressed without ya,
But I'm chillin'! o/
o/ You thought I wouldn't sell without ya, o/
o/ Sold nine million!! o/
o/ I'm a survivor (what)! o/
o/ I'm not gonna give up (what)! o/
o/ I'm not gon' stop (what)! o/
o/ I'm gonna work harder (what)! o/
o/ I'm a survivor (what)! o/
o/ I'm gonna make it (what)! o/
o/ I will survive (what)! o/
o/ Keep on survivin' (what)! o/
o/ I'm a survivor (what)! o/
o/ I'm not gonna give up (what)! o/
o/ I'm not gon' stop (what)! o/
o/ I'm gonna work harder (what)! o/
o/ I'm a survivor (what)! o/
o/ I'm gonna make it (what)! o/
o/ I will survive (what)! o/
o/ Keep on survivin' (what)! o/
Checkpoint!
*Allow song to continue*
(Hero is exhausted from shoving Dead Bodies)
Pete: There's too many Dead Bodies; it's slowing me down! There has to be some other way through.
(Hero spots Item of Interest. Level of Excitement doubled)
Pete: A bulldozer! That would be perfect!
(Bulldozer acquired; Confidence and Vigor revitalized. Objectives updated: Commandeer Bulldozer and continue search for Yagami)
Resume!
o/ Thought that I would faail without ya,
But I'm on top! o/
o/ Though it would be over by now,
But it won't stop! o/
o/ You thought that I would self-destruct,
But I'm still here! o/
o/ Even in my years to come, o/
o/ I'm still gon' be here! o/
o/ I'm a survivor (what)! o/
o/ I'm not gonna give up (what)! o/
o/ I'm not gon' stop (what)! o/
o/ I'm gonna work harder (what) o/!
o/ I'm a survivor (what)! o/
o/ I'm gonna make it (what)! o/
o/ I will survive (what)! o/
o/ Keep on survivin' (what)! o/
o/ I'm a survivor (what)! o/
o/ I'm not gonna give up (what)! o/
o/ I'm not gon' stop (what)! o/
o/ I'm gonna work harder (what)! o/
o/ I'm a survivor (what)! o/
o/ I'm gonna make it (what)! o/
o/ I will survive (what)! o/
o/ Keep on survivin' (what)! o/
Checkpoint!
*Allow song to continue*
(Hero arrives at Swanky Japanese Hotel. Discards Bulldozer)
Pete: Light's Nefarious Lair; I have finally found it! I have to get to the Hotel Suite, but the entrance is clogged with Dead Bodies.
(Hero is afflicted with Dejection. Hero Ponders. Solution decided. Dejection dispelled)
Pete: If I can't get in through the front door, then I must (Dramatic Close-Up selected) Scale the Wall!
(Alternate route found. Objectives updated: Scale hotel wall by any means to reach Hotel Suite)
Resume!
o/ I'm not gonna blast you on the radio, o/
o/ (I'm better than that!) o/
o/ I'm not gonna lie on you or your family, yo, o/
o/ (I'm better than that!) o/
o/ I'm not gonna hate you in the magazine, o/
o/ (I'm better than that!) o/
o/ I'm not gonna compromise my Christianity, o/
o/ (I'm better than that!) o/
o/ You know I'm not gonna diss you on the Internet. o/
o/ …Cuz my momma taught me better than that! o/
o/ I'm a survivor (what)! o/
o/ I'm not gonna give up (what)! o/
o/ I'm not gon' stop (what)! o/
o/ I'm gonna work harder (what)! o/
o/ I'm a survivor (what)! o/
o/ I'm gonna make it (what)! o/
o/ I will survive (what)! o/
o/ Keep on survivin' (what)! o/
o/ I'm a survivor (what)! o/
o/ I'm not gonna give up (what)! o/
o/ I'm not gon' stop (what)! o/
o/ I'm gonna work harder (what)! o/
o/ I'm a survivor (what)! o/
o/ I'm gonna make it (what)! o/
I will survive (what)!
o/ Keep on survivin' (what)! o/
Final Checkpoint!
*Allow song to continue*
(Hero barges into Hotel Suite via window. Hero spots Single White Goth Female)
Pete: Misa Amane!
Misa: Aiieee!! A stalker!!
(Misa's Screech summons Main Boss Light Yagami)
Light: Where the hell did you come from!?
Pete: Light! You have to stop this murderous rampage this instant!
(Reasoning rendered ineffective against Creature Type Light)
Light: Never!! The present world is one of filth!! No life but my own has the right to live! I will create a perfect new world with the Deathnote based on that principle and smite all those who dare oppose me!!
(Derange-o-Meter rising. Divine Delusion at highest level)
Pete: I can't let that happen Light! You have to be stopped!
(Threat acknowledged)
Light: Very well, Businessman. I'll simply destroy you with my endless army of Dead Bodies!!
(Dead Bodies pour in from Hotel Hall and join Enemy Ranks. Plain-Crazy Meter at max)
Pete: Holy Crap!!
(Hero Intimidated. Final Objective: Chase and intercept Light Yagami and the Deathnote amongst the Dead Body masses at all costs! Raise your hands like you don't care, G's)
Resume!
o/ If I surround myself with positive things, o/
o/ I'll gain prosperityyy! o/
I'm a survivor (what)!
I'm not gonna give up (what)!
I'm not gon' stop (what)!
I'm gonna work harder (what)!
I'm a survivor (what)!
I'm gonna make it (what)!
I will survive (what)!
Keep on survivin' (what)!
I'm a survivor (what)!
I'm not gonna give up (what)!
I'm not gon' stop (what)!
I'm gonna work harder (what)!
Finish!!
(Hero corners Light in back room. Desperation and Loss at 88%)
Pete: It's over, Light!
Light: No it isn't Pete Peterstein!
(Hero caught off-guard. Light equips Deathnote and pen. Boast level fixed at 104%)
Light: Good thing you were stupid enough to wear a name tag this whole time!
(Hero feels Embarrassment. Hero recovers with New Strategy. Hero equips Apple)
Pete: Oh Ryuk, I have a nice shiny apple for you.
Ryuk: Oh whoopee!!!
(Ploy successful. Culprit Shinigami Ryuk lunges for Granny Smith, knocking over Fiend Light)
Light: Guh!!
(Surprise at Unprecedented. Deathnote is lodged out of Light's possession. Hero picks up fallen Deathnote. Hero reigns victorious)
Pete: This is perfect. There are a good number of people that got me PO'ed enough to necessitate some personal usage.
(Hero heads for window and selects Open. Fallen Light is overcome with 203% Disbelief)
Light: But how… Ugh…
(Wild Light has Fainted. Capture option refused)
Pete: The world is saved. Now I must resume my alter ego as (Dramatic Close-Up selected) Spider-Man.
(Hero fires Web. Hero exits via Swing. Content Ryuk follows. Light is left with 800 Shamed points)
Misa: Where did all these Dead Bodies come from?
(Misa now has 999 Confused Ditz points)
Stage Clear!!!
Ranking:S
Perfect!!
300: 647 Elite Beats: 236
100: 13 Beats: 4
50: 0
Misses: 0
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away,
Near: I still can't believe it Mello. The one time we actually join forces Kira is defeated by none other than the new Spider-Man. Who could have imagined such a turn of events?
Mello: Beats me Near oh buddy. (Takes a bite out of chocolate bar) Ugh, all this chocolate is beginning to give me a tummy ache. Gasp! Pimples!? Oh Dear God NOO!!!
BOOOOOOM!!!
(Mello succumbs to Facial Self-Destruct. Remaining Hit Points: 0)
Game Over