Quinn sat in her couch in the dinning room, cup of coffee in one hand and a book in the other, staring into space. Her fingers hurt from gripping to the handle of the mug, her index finger white from the effort. But she doesn't notice.
Her mind was wondering into space, the light reflecting in the far wall seeming to strech as she stared at it. This thoughts were not new. Rachel was a constant topic for her and her mind to discuss. For her subconscious to bring up in the weirdest of moments.
It wasn't all that weird. After three years in Glee Club together, they've becomed friends. It was bound to happen, really. One can't spend that much time with someone without overcoming their differences and see the good in one another. Or they could, but that's not what happened between them.
It was one of those things that you don't realize it's happening until it's settled in your life. That's what happened with their frienship. At least, it's what happened at first.
The first time Quinn kissed Rachel, it was an accident. Sort off.
The brunette went to her house after a fight with Finn. Quinn only wanted to make her smile, so she tried to cheer her up. They put on rainboots and went outside to jump in the rain puddles of Quinn's backyard. Rachel had been wary at first, claimed she couldn't afford to catch a cold, but Quinn dragged her by the hand and started jumping, just like she did with her sister when they were little. Her laughter was contagious, and soon Rachel found herself jumping and laughing, not feeling silly at all, with the soft, warm hand still on her own. For a while, it was fun. The smell of the rain, the sound of the drops colliding with the pool's water, the glistening grass and the lights of thunder in the sky. But Quinn turned around and saw Rachel's face. She was smiling wide, eyes closed and facing up at the rain. Her hair was damp and sticking to her neck and face, the raindrops rolling down her throat and chest. Her hand was still warmly entwined with Quinn's. And the blonde couldn't help herself. Their lips met briefly, a light pressure that was enough to cast two completely different reactions. As a warmth spread all over Quinn's body, Rachel froze. Then it was the blonde's turn to froze.
-I'm sorry. –Quinn whispered, still a little to close to the brunette's face. –Oh God, I'm sorry. –She pulled away, letting go of Rachel's hand. –Rach?
Rachel just looked at her, a blank expression on her face as the rain poured down harder.
-I'm still with Finn. –She whispered, frowning. –We fought, but we're together. –Her eyes widened , fury clearly taking over her. –I just cheated on him. Again! Quinn, how dare you?
-I… I don't….
The brunette ran along the side of Quinn's house to her car, parked in front of the garage door, and drove off.
Five minutes later, Quinn saw the girl's lipstick resting in the arm of the couch and cried for an hour.
It took three days for Rachel to speak to her again. Four days for Rachel to kiss her in the middle of a study session on the Berry's livingroom, with Rachel's dads making lunch in the kitchen. It was a quick peck. After it happened, Rachel ran off into the safety of the kitchen, where Quinn surely wouldn't bring it up. Later in the afternoon, in Rachel's room, however, half an hour of non-stop kisses couldn't be ignored.
They don't talk about it at first. After it happens, they go back to their usual activities. Then, it happens everytime they're alone. Quinn can tell Rachel feels guilty, and she thinks maybe she should, too. But she can't bring herself to think of anything other than Rachel when they're together.
She cries at night, asks God to forgive her. No, she doesn't think it's a sin; but she just wanted to see Rachel laughing, and instead they have this now, that only causes them sorrow and pain when they're not kissing or touching. It can't be a good thing.
When they do talk about it, Quinn confesses she only wants them to be friends, that she could never steal Rachel away from the arms of another. Away from Finn. So they remain friends. Friends who make out at least three times a week. But Rachel tries to convince both of them that, if they're just friends, then it's not cheating. They try to believe it.
After two months, Rachel shows up at Quinn's door with a paper bag and a smirk.
-Oh, no. What do you have there, Rachel?
-The bet. You lost it, so you have to do it. –She answered smugly, brushing past a shocked blonde.
Said blonde closed the door before answering.
-No way.
-Way indeed, Quinn.
-You're joking.
-I'm not.
-C'mon!
-It's only fair, Quinn. You have to do it. If Brittany had chosen Artie, I would have willingly burned my platypus sweater. But she didn't. I was right. And now you have to dye your hair.
-Really, Berry, there is absolutely no. way.
-Relax, Quinn. I could never do that to you. –Rachel patted the blonde's bare knee as they sat on the couch. That seemed to relax her a little. –Only a few locks.
-No!
After an hour long discussion, and a heavy make out session that took another fourty minutes, Quinn reluctantly agreed. Rachel assured her that the color would fade away within a few weeks, and Quinn was already fearing Coach Sylvester's reaction.
God, she was whipped. Friendly whipped, of course.
She hoped Rachel knew what she was doing when they brought a chair to the bathroom for Quinn to sit down and the brunette started doing her job. It actualy felt pretty good, Rachel massaging her scalp lightly, sometimes dropping sporadic kisses to Quinn's shoulders.
-Now we have to wait, and then wash it. –She announced.
She throwed the gloves into the bathtub and rested her chin on Quinn's shoulder, their cheeks warmly pressed together, eyes closed. Sometimes, moments like this scared the life out of Quinn. They were quiet, content, so comfortable and intimate. On moments like these, they were even less friends than when they kissed on the mouth.
After a while, when Rachel wrapped her arms around her shoulders, Quinn knew something wasn't right. There was a slight tremble in the brunette's arms, and her breathing was shallow. The blonde turned her face, her lips brushing Rachel's cheek as she spoke.
-What's wrong?
That mere whisper send tears running down Rachel's face, a strangled sob leaving her lips.
-Oh my God. –Quinn whispers as she takes Rachel's hands in hers and stoods up, turning around to wrap her in a hug. –What's wrong? Did something happened?
Rachel only shakes her head as she buries her face in Quinn's chest, allowing the tears to drop and soak the blonde's dress. Quinn rubs her back as she cries, patiently waiting for her to calm down. They end up sitting on the floor, Rachel on Quinn's lap. Everything is quiet now, and the blonde feels the urge to ask, because she just can't see her friend like this.
-Did something happend with Finn?
Rachel rises her head at that, her eyes locking with Quinn's. There is concern in hazel eyes, and dark brown turn darker.
-I want to forget about it. –The brunette whispers before gently kissing the blonde.
She moves to straddle her lap, their breasts pressing together as the kiss deepens . They immediately know this is not what they usually do, that it's more, and they know what's going to happen. So there is no hurry when they take eachother's clothes off, with a delicacy people usually reserve for fragile, easily broken things; with a care, a love they can't say aloud, either because of fear, or loyalty. They took their time exploring everything. Every inch of skin, every scar, every beauty spot. They register on their minds, as much as they can, every sound they incite with their mouths or fingers.
At some point, they reach the shower. Rachel wants to leave a mark, she doesn't want Quinn to forget what's happening. And Quinn wants to replace every single one of Finn's touches with touches of her own. She makes them softer, warmer, slower, almost reverent. She watches as the purple runs from her hair and mixes with the shower drops on Rachel's skin, resembling that day on the rain, when they first kissed. As Rachel's mouth opens, Quinn kisses her neck and watches down, as the purple rain bathes the tanned skin, leaving only memories of Quinn.
After that, there's no stopping it. Weekends are the best, because they're only for them. Finn's busy; Burt and Carol always have family planns for him and Kurt and they eat out and have family time. And Rachel just goes to Quinn's house, with her mom never around, and in those days, they don't pretend. They wake eachother up with kisses, they hug and kiss while they make breakfast, they cuddle on the couch to watch movies and walk around the house hand in hand. If they want, they can moan and scream as loud as they can. And if they want, they can pretend the outside world doesn't exist, at least for two days.
But of course it gets harder. Quinn knows things are changing. She knows she can't keep doing whatever they pretend they're not. It's not fair for them, and it's not fair for Finn. It gets harder for both of them to be apart, it gets harder for Rachel to pretend and for Quinn to watch her do it.
-You don't want him anymore. –Quinn whispers as they lay in her bed.
The room is dark, there is no light entering from the window. The bed is too warm, almost uncomfortably so, and she feels her back sticking to the sheets, a drop of sweat running from her forhead down to her temple, coating her hair at the back of her ear.
Rachel shifts in the bed, huddles against Quinn's body despite the heat, despite them being naked and a little sticky, and drops kisses along the blonde's chest, lingering with her mouth in the dip of Quinn's collarbone. The blonde brushes the dark locks away from Rachel's back, spreading her brown hair in the pillow and away from her skin.
-It's been a while. –She confesses in a whisper. –I don't know what to do.
-You do.
Quinn runs her nails down Rachel's spine, feeling the shivers and the goose bumps. She brushes up and down again slowly, and rests her palm open against the brunette's butt. Their legs entwine and Rachel nips at the blonde's collarbone.
-I don't know. –She whispers desperatly. –I don't know what to do. I love Finn, but not in that way anymore, everytime I think about what we do and what I do with him… it doesn't compare, Quinn. It doesn't even come close. So I just can't understand, for the life of me, why am I still with him instead of you. I don't want to hurt him, I have no clue on what to say to him, I-
-Rachel, please. –Quinn wraps her arm around the brunette's shoulders and kisses her forhead. –Close your eyes.
-Wh-why?
-Do it. –Rachel does. –Clear your mind of everything, just… stop thinking for a second. And listen. We can't fool ourselves anymore. You are more my girlfriend than Finn's. I… -She takes a deep breath. –I just can't watch you with him anymore. It kills me, it burns. Please just stop pretending. I want to be with you.
A hand slips under her cup of coffee, and takes it away from her.
-You're going to spill coffee in your book. –Rachel warns. Quinn smiles at her. –Penny for your thoughts?
-I was just… thinking about us.
-About how adorable and hot we are? –Rachel jokes.
-More about how I still can't believe that time you made me dye my hair purple. –Quinn arches an eyebrown.
-Yeah, but you remember what happened that day, don't you? –The brunette smirks.
-So not the point.
-You looked pretty! And it faded within two weeks. –Rachel crosses her arms across her chest.
-Yeah, two weeks when I had to run thirty minutes after practice everyday because Coach wanted to kill me.
Rachel huffs.
-It was only a few locks of hair. You can't even tell now.
-Whatever.
-Quinn? –Rachel kneels on the couch and rests her hand on the blonde's shoulder. –Why're not really fighting, right?
The blonde turns around to face her, a smirk on her face. Rachel narrows her eyes and slaps Quinn's arm.
-You are a terrible girlfriend, Quinn Fabray.
-Aw, baby, don't be mad. –The blonde pouts. Rachel turns her head and looks away. –Pretty please? I can be an awesome girlfriend.
-How so?
-I can dye mi hair purple again.
Rachel turns to look at her, wide eyed.
-Would you? –She rises her eyebrowns.
-I would. –Quinn nods.
-For me?
-Just for you, yeah. –The blonde smiles and licks her lips.
Rachel grins and shakes her head before leaning foward and kissing Quinn.
-You really are an awesome girlfriend. –They smile into the kiss. –But you don't have to do it. I don't want you running extra time with Coach Sylvester.
-Oh, thank God. –Quinn sighs and Rachel giggles.
-I love you.
Quinn sees into Rachel's eyes and smiles.
-Love you too, Rach.