Author's Note:
Came across some songs at Livejourna- Twilightscribe's Yullen Fanmix so I wrote stuff based on the songs that she picked out. So enjoy! (Will list down the songs at the back)
Standard Disclaimers Apply
01 - I just want to sit and stare at you
Kanda found Allen's silence unnerving. Sure Allen was not another bouncy rabbit who didn't know when to stop, but Allen never saw Kanda without saying something. But right now, all Allen was doing was sitting cross legged on the floor opposite Kanda and looking at him.
And just looking.
"Oy, Moyashi,"
Allen blinked.
"Oy," Kanda was beginning to conclude that Allen was possessed by aliens when using his dreaded nickname didn't elicit any of the normal reactions. It was then Allen's finger found his lips motioning for him to keep quiet.
Kanda looked down at Allen's finger and then back at Allen who edged closer.
"I just want to sit and stare at you,"
02 - You said you'd understand / But you don't want to be there/ When it goes down again
Kanda stared at the window as the clock strike midnight. Maybe, just maybe Allen would come back in and said that everything was alright and that he would give Kanda another chance. But as the road emptied and the crickets' became louder, Kanda knew that it was all over.
Allen knew about it, after all he was the one who brought Kanda to the doctor to get something done with his anger management problems. But perhaps, enough was finally enough for Allen who had long surpassed his limit as he decided that he could not take any more of his physical and emotional abuse when Kanda lost control.
03 - The fight for you is all I`ve ever known / So come home
Allen knew he shouldn't have insulted Kanda's capacities as an exorcist because the insulted person really blew up at that and walked out of his room and his life that day. The missions (and life) went on despite the crack in their relationship but Allen soon realized that he couldn't fight properly in Kanda's absence. There was neither passion nor emotion in his strokes and he was simply drifting through the motions. He felt like a machine programmed to exterminate akuma rather than a human being.
It was then Allen learnt that simply fighting wasn't going to make his life complete.
He needed to fight for Kanda.
04 - I hold my breath and count to ten/ I've been waiting for a chance to let you in
"I love you Kanda,"
Kanda felt his breath stuck in his throat.
"Did you mean what you say?" Kanda asked as a small breath begin to escape.
Allen, who had been averting his eyes ever since he said that, nodded slightly. Kanda rested his chin gently on top of Allen's head and wrapped his arms around Allen's small frame. He felt Allen's shiver a little.
"I have been waiting for you to say that for ages," Kanda whispered, "Waiting to let you into my life,"
05 - It's okay that we're dying / But I need to survive tonight, tonight.
Kanda could see Allen's darkening skin colour. It had reminded him of his enlarging tattoo. But when they were in each other's arms, it didn't matter that they were counting down to the end of their physical lives, they just needed to survive the Dark Order's scrutiny for another day.
06 - The starlight, I'll be chasing your starlight
Allen was like a light at the end of Kanda's tunnel. The way he brightens up at the smallest of things, the way he expressed kindness and gentleness to everything. Kanda never he would never reach Allen – they were too different - But the best he could still do, was to chase the light, the starlight, that Allen radiates.
07 - I was difficult to see / But you picked me
It was not easy to pick out Kanda's good points. People knew Kanda as being a heartless bastard. It would be like trying to search for a hidden apple behind the leaves and that was provided that if one was looking hard enough. Yet, Allen – yes, that Allen, the loving Allen whose virtues of kindness and gentleness that everyone could testify and whom anyone would be more than glad to marry, picked Kanda to spend the rest of his life with.
08 - I feel like I'm falling for you/ But I'm scared to, let go /I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt
When Allen placed his lips just so gently on Kanda's, his self control almost dissipated. It was all so tempting to grab Allen and kiss him back senseless. But when he remembered how the woman he once loved with all his heart and soul died in battle, he pushed Allen away.
He wouldn't last another heartbreak.
09 - Let's forget the mistakes we've made 'cause time is passing by/ Enjoy the rest of your time with me, it's free but worth the price
Allen and Kanda's relationship was nothing less than turbulent. It could be possibly because they were both utterly stubborn and refused to admit that they were hopelessly in love with each other. This stubbornness had caused them to do stupid things like Allen dating Lenalee, Kanda dating Lavi and them refusing to say anything that sounded even mildly positive to each other.
When they finally confessed to each other in the middle of the battlefield as Allen was taking his final breaths, Kanda lifted Allen's head and placed it on his own lap. For that moment, the mistakes they made just to avoid each falling for each other didn't matter anymore. What was more important was to enjoy the remaining time –however little they were- they had together.
10 - You know that I will save you/From all of the obscene
They jeered at Allen again. It turned out that Allen lost control of his inner Noah again in the middle of the battle and almost killed Chaoji in the progress. Allen could see that they were pointing his fingers accusatorily at him and demeaning him again. It was then Kanda came in between of him and all those judging eyes with Mugen in hand and glare in eyes.
Kanda always saved him.
11- You could be my unintended/Choice to live my life extended
Kanda never thought of living a life after he found the ones who bestowed him his curse. He intended to die an honourable samurai death by driving his beloved Mugen through himself. But when cold blade touched his warm skin, instead of the eventual peace he thought he would feel, Allen Walker's face intruded his mind.
It was then his grip on his blade loosened.
12 - Now it's time you took something back / just for the sake of your mind.
Kanda never understood why Allen was so bloody nice to everyone. The Dark Order wasn't even appreciating his kindness to begin with. If anything, they seem to think that Allen's giving was suspicious and kept him under surveillance. And as he gave and gave, his mind just broke and broke. Kanda knew that this unrequited giving was going to destroy him someday. And that was why he let Allen ravage his body that night. He needed to be given something, for once.
13 - And even if the words don't sound right / I will love you till the day my heart dies.
"You're mine,"
That wasn't the most romantic confession ever. In fact, it seemed to rank as one of the worse confessions that Allen had ever heard and if anything, Kanda sounded like he wanted to possess Allen rather than loving him. But when Allen saw the blood oozing out from the gunshot wound that Kanda had blocked for him, he knew that words did not matter.
14 - In the blink of an eye / You make everything right
Kanda was grumpy.
Jerry was sick that day and thus he couldn't get his daily dose of soba. Lavi had earlier on barged into the training room, disrupting his mediation. Marie was away for a mission and thus he had no one to train with. Komui had decided that Kanda needed a break and decided to not assign him to any missions for a week.
It was then he saw Allen walking in an opposite direction towards him.
"Oy Bakanda,"
"Yes, stupid Moyashi,"
The day seemed to be right once more.
15 - For everything under the sun / I owe you one.
"I thought you said you never bothered about useless partners," Allen told Kanda, after Kanda had pushed him away from the line of fire of one of the akumas.
"I owed you one," Kanda said.
"For?" Allen asked. He didn't remember owing Kanda a favour.
"For you being you,"
Author's Note:
Firstly, as I promised, the song names.
The songs are:
to pieces – Arvil Lavigne
2. When it goes down – Something Corporate
3. Come Home – One republic
4. Breathe – Michelle Branch
5. Half Alive – Secondhand Serenade
6. Starlight – Muse
7. You Picked Me – A Fine Frenzy
8. Falling for You – Jem
9. Low Radiation – The New Cities
10. Blurry – Puddle of Mudd
11. Unintended – Muse
12. Drifting – Yellowcard
13. Bigger Than Me - Aselin Debsion
14. Listen - Wintersleep
15. I Owe You One – Lights
What do you guys think? It's my first attempt at this sort of writing. So REVIEW and tell me if you liked it and if there is anything I can improve!