A/N R&R
Song: Fall to Pieces by Avril Lavigne
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the songs. So basically I own nothing!
Carly's POV
I told myself that Sonny and I were over. I told myself that I only loved him because of our history. I wasn't in love with him. I told myself that I loved Jax more. I tell myself a lot of things, but then I like to lie to myself. And that's what I've been doing. I've lied to myself. I love Sonny so much it scares me. And I want more then anything to just say that everything will be okay that we can start over and it will be better this time. But I don't want to fall apart, I've been to hell and I've come back and I have no intention of going back there. I can't do it. But I love Sonny and I know that Jax and I can never happen; we can never be together because I love Sonny in a different way then how I love Jax. With Sonny it's this passionate up and down roller coaster ride and I wouldn't trade it. Sometimes I think about getting off the roller coaster but I don't because I know that for all its ups and downs I could never be without it. I have to tell Sonny. I know I have to tell him but if I tell him it is confirmation that we're starting over. It opens the door, hell actually it's pretty much like I opened the door stormed through and plopped down on the sofa. And I have to tell him, but I'm scared, I'm so scared. But I can't keep lying. I can't do this anymore.
I looked away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through
I'm going to talk to him. I can do it. I know I can do it. And yet I've been standing here outside his door for the last twenty minutes. Milo's looking at me funny but I don't move. I'm frozen where I stand. And then I see him. There he is dark hair, dark eyes, and the dimples I love so much. Sonny. And he's coming over. But I don't move. I stand there. And he's in front of me. I know he's saying something but I don't hear him. He's taking me by the arm and pulling me inside. I shiver and I realize that it's cold outside. He tells Max to turn up the heat and he sits me down on the couch wrapping a blanket around me. And I stare into those deep chocolate brown depths and I wonder how I ever thought I could be without him.
Make it through the fall
Make it through it all
"Carly? Carly? Are you okay?!" Sonny's kneeling in front of me and I blink at him confused. He's worried and I love him. He's talking again but I don't hear his words, I'm to busy watching him, seeing the way his eyes are darkened with worry and his brow is creased as he tries to figure out what's wrong with me. And I know he loves me. As much as I love him. And once again I wonder, how could I have tried to stop loving him. I'm in love with him and I always will be. I need him and I love him and that is all there is to it. But I'm so scared, so afraid that I will lose it, I will go into that horrible place again, but I know somewhere deep down that this time is different. Sonny and I are different, and if I can give him the chance things will be better this time.
And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in Love With you
"Carly?" Hmm? I stare at him again and I'm tempted to just burst into tears. I need to tell him but I can't find the words. I know they're there. I can see them. But when I try and say them they run away just outside of my grasp. I blink and open my mouth and this time the words don't leave me they're there and they're ready to be heard.
"I love you." I say. "I love you more then anyone else and you're right I want to be with you, but I'm scared to be hurt again, I'm scared we'll fall apart again, and I'm scared we'll hurt each other, but I love you, and I need to be with you." I say choking back the tears that are threatening to fall. I don't understand why though. I'm Carly and I don't cry I get mad.
"Shh, Carly, it's okay." He says and he's pulling me closer to him and then before I can stop myself I'm crying. Crying as memories of the last few weeks wash over me. Craig holding a gun on Sonny as he steps up to protect the hostages, Sonny keeping me calm, Alcazar shooting Sonny, Skye comparing Sonny to Alcazar, Jax comparing me to Skye, but most of all Sonny being there, and being patient, loving me, despite everything, no matter how hard I've tried to push him away.
You're the only one,
I'd be with till the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms
"I don't want to be with anyone else, ever, I love you and you're the only one for me." I whisper.
"I love you too, Carly, always, always and forever." He answers.
"You keep me sane, I would fall apart if you weren't there, I would have died during the hostage crisis if you hadn't kept me from overreacting, I know I would have. I could never be without you and I know that." I start. "I don't want a divorce." And with those words I've cemented our reunion. Five simple words, they mean so much.
"I love you, Carly." He says, and I don't doubt him not for a fraction of a second.
"I love you, too."
I'm in love with you
Cuz i'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
A/N I know it's a little OOC, but I was listening to the song and I just had to write it. Review please!