"It is very certain that the desire of life prolongs it."

-Lord Byron

Kasumi happily hummed to herself as she folded the final load of laundry for the night. As she was separating the clothing out into individual piles, she contently listened to the groans and creaks of the house as if it mimicked the residents and was settling in for a good nights sleep. As usual everyone else in the house had turned in a few hours ago, each finding temporary solace from their hectic lives in their dreams.

With her usual smile of contentment Kasumi finished folding the clothes and silently began to distribute them to their respective owners. Over the years she had practiced so many methods to remain unnoticed that now without a conscious effort she was perhaps even more stealthy than Genma. No she couldn't turn herself invisible, but even when someone saw her, they didn't usually notice her, and even on the rare occasion they did, they almost immediately forgot about her presence. If she ever gave it any thought, Kasumi probably would have been happy that her years of training had paid off. But she tried to avoid thinking about herself as much as possible.

Silently she opened doors and placed the appropriate clothing inside before just as quietly closing the door, the occupant never the wiser. First was her father, then Ranma and Genma, next was Akane, and lastly was Nabiki. Each one fast asleep in their respective futons or beds, quietly dreaming away, seeming innocent and peaceful as they slumbered. As usual the largest pile of clothing was the one for Nabiki, but it wasn't much larger than the piles for Ranma or Akane. Genma's was also large, but strangely made up of almost identical clothing. In contrast with the other piles, Soun's was anemic, but Kasumi's own was dwarfed by it.

After making the final deposit of the night, Kasumi returned to her room with her laundry. It only consisted of a single dress and three aprons. She had long ago discovered that if she wore the aprons as much as possible, then her outfits became much less dirty and they lasted longer. Thanks to this it had been a few years since the last time she had needed to purchase a new set of clothing.

Kasumi quickly put her clothes away, careful not to let the drawers on her dresser squeak lest they should cause someone else to wake up. She carefully maneuvered around the room, knowing exactly which parts of the floor groaned when stepped upon. She checked the alarm clock next to her bed, it was only 11:45 which was good since she needed to get to bed before midnight so that she would have enough sleep before she woke up to begin her day at 4:30. Fifteen minutes gave her just enough time to do the thing that she had discovered a few years ago to relieve her tension.

At first it had started out as something she would only do once or twice a month, condemning herself after every time for being wrong and disgusting. But no matter how much she chastised herself, she couldn't deny the pleasure that it brought. Eventually it had turned into a weekly affair, and now she found herself doing it almost every night.

Slowly so as to not make a sound, Kasumi quietly locked her bedroom door and disrobed until she was wearing only her bra and panties. She then sat down on the edge of her bed and reaching into her desk drawer, she pulled out a small wooden box. She had no fear that anyone would ever find the box much less what it contained since the very thought of entering Kasumi's room without permission much less go through her belongings was almost sacrilegious. Smiling wider in anticipation Kasumi opened the box and reaching inside took out perhaps her most favorite of possessions, a small razor blade.

Holding the razor in her right had, Kasumi turned her left arm so the part normally against her armpit was exposed. She made a mental note of the other older cuts already there and decided that after tonight she would have to change places again. It wouldn't do to have too many cuts in one place now would it.

Unconsciously licking her lips in anticipation, Kasumi slowly brought the razor down and pressed it into her arm. She closely watched as the razor dimpled her skin, then with a little more exertion, it pushed its way through. Kasumi almost moaned when she felt the little pinch that signified the cold blade cutting into her flesh, but she quickly clamped down on it in case it might disturb someone else.

Slowly, ever so slowly Kasumi pushed down on the blade and pulled it across her arm, watching the wave of soft skin run ahead of it and the small furrow follow the tip of the razor lost in the depths of her arm. As always it surprised Kasumi at just how little the razor cut actually hurt while she was cutting it, just a little pinch at the start and a slight pressure, then another tiny twinge as she pulled the razor out.

Setting the razor back in her box, Kasumi examined her new cut, at first it was practically invisible against her skin, but that would soon change. Taking two of her fingers, Kasumi stretched either side of the cut until the first drops of blood started to appear, the first was at the start, the other near the middle. Quickly after that, the furrow in her flesh quickly filled up with blood and it became another angry red line on her arm. Kasumi reveled in the feeling of pain as the blood began to accumulate and threaten to transform into drops.

Now it was time for Kasumi's favorite part of the exercise. Reaching back into her small box, Kasumi removed a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a cotton ball. After all it wouldn't be good if the cut got infected would it? The sharp pain the alcohol would bring was just a bonus.

Kasumi unscrewed the top of the bottle and holding the cotton ball against the opening quickly turned it upside down and let the alcohol soak into the cotton for a second before righting the bottle and setting it down on the top of her desk. She then turned back to her newest cut and noticed that a tiny drop of blood had run down her arm, leaving a thin trail of blood from her elbow back to the cut.

Slowly Kasumi took the alcohol soaked cotton and placing it on her arm, traced it along the trail left by the blood. The cool sensation that it left in its wake was almost as if a lover where trailing kisses along her arm. Arriving at the cut, Kasumi paused and took delight in the small denial of her pain, then ruthlessly and forcefully scrubbed at the wound with the alcohol.

The sensations of pain where instant and just as intense as she had hoped them to be. For the first time that day, Kasumi felt as if she where real, as if the world she lived in had purpose and meaning. As if she once again mattered. But all too soon the numbness that was a constant in her life took hold of her again and the pain in her arm was dulled. Sadly Kasumi tossed the bloody cotton ball into her trash basket next to a used panty liner that she used as camouflage. Sighing softly and rubbing her cut in the hopes that it would continue to ache, Kasumi put away her things and donned her nightgown. Making sure that her alarm clock (which used light instead of sound so that it didn't disturb other people) was set, Kasumi turned off her lights and prepared to enter into her normal dreamless sleep.

But as usual sleep was elusive and in the darkness, Kasumi's thoughts turned to the upcoming day. It would likely be as any other day, one in which she would continue in her Sisyphean life, overshadowed by people who where stronger and better than her, either physically or emotionally. Long ago she had discovered that trying to fight back against them was useless, it was just so much easier to do what they said and expected. As long as she was who they wanted her to be, then everything would be alright.

Life would be alright.

But as sleep finally took her to its dreamless depths, her last traitorous thought was, "But is such a life worth living?"

The Endish.

Author's Notes

While writing my other fic, I wanted to write something fun and lighthearted. Instead I wrote this.

I don't think I will continue this unless my muse dictates otherwise. Hopefully the next thing I write will be nice and fluffy with kittens. It would be a nice change.

By the way, I feel obligated to point out that damaging one's self is a serious matter and can be indicative of other problems. If you or someone you know is damaging themselves, then please seek help.