(This is just a hella stupid story I wrote while I had writers block with my other ones. I won't be surprised if everyone hates it, so review if you want to!)
The Cullens and Bella decide to go to the arcade...
Bella: Dude this is gonna be fuckin stupid.
Emmett: HOLY SHIT SPACE AVENGERS!!
Carlisle: YOUR ON BITCH!
Carlisle and Emmett go to play space avengers
Edward: Don't look now but mike newtons right over there playing virtual knitting
Bella: That asshole pisses me the fuck off
Edward: I know hes a bitch but lets go play DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION
Edward starts dancing around like a fairy, and Jasper kicks him in the nuts
Jasper: Not cool man
Edward: Fuck you ur the one who taught me to dance like that ho he says while clutching his balls
Jasper: Yea wat ever pfft anyway newtons staring at you edward
Edward: What?!
They look over to see mike newton staring at edward jerkin it
Bella: OH SHIT SON
Alice: That explains why he wanted to get with bella he wants to be closer to eddie hhahahahahahaha
Edward: Shut your trap bitch
Alice: Fuck you cunt face
Bella: Whoa whoa whoa alice be nice edwards self concious about his cunt face
Edward starts crying ITS NOT PLEASENT FOR MY FACE TO SMELL LIKE TUNA
Bella: See its not his fault he just wants to belong
Emmet and carlisle walk back over to join them
Emmett: Fuck yea Carlisle I owned ur pussy
Carlisle: ya but your wearing a thong
Emmett: WATT how did you know
Carlisle: I didn't, but you seiously are? Dude thats sick
Emmett: Whoa is newton staring at cunt face?
Jasper: Fuck yes isnt that awesome
Emmett: That guy deserves to be bitch slapped
The cullens walk over to the virtual knitting game
Emmet: hey mike know what time it is?
Mike: yeah it's a quarter past seven.
Emmett: Seriously? Whoa I totally forgot to walk shnoopie today then
Jasper: EMMETT SNAP OUT OF IT and who the fuck is shnoopie?
Emmett: Huh ummm no one uhh anyway wrong answer mike its BITCH SLAPPIN TIME
emmett in stead of slapping mike kicked him in the nuts
Emmett: sorry man couldnt resist
Mike: that didn't even hurt
Jasper: wut do you mean you just got ransacked
Mike ignores this and walks over to bella
Mike: I'll roshambo you for edward
Bella: Excuse me?
Mike: its when u kick eachother in the nuts till someone falls over
Emmett: NO BELLA HE HAS NO BALLS...
But his screams fell on deaf ears.
Bella: Well okay then that seems fair
Mike: alright I go first
mike kicks bella in the groin
Bella: that kinda hurt
Bella goes and drills mike square in the nuts and mike doesnt even stagger
Bella's foot swells up, it felt like she kicked a rock: well fuck me in the ass and call me aro what the fuck is wrong with ur nuts
Mike: Check dis shit out
Mike opens up his pants and shows everyone was was guarding his balls...
Bella: HOLY SHIT EDWARDS IN THERE
Mike: Hell to the freakin yes
Carlisle: Man thats just unhealthy im a doctor I should know
Mike: yeah right we all know you just go the hospital to fuck billy black in ur office
Carlisle: Heheheh what is wrong with you mike that never happpened...
Mike: Yes it fuckin did I have cameras in your office I love to watch doctor mcdreamy in there and I saw u fuckin billy
FLASHBACK
Carlisle: Ohh yeah billy that wheelchair is kinky shit
Billy: yeah use ur vampire speed bitch mmm
END OF FLASHBACK
Carlisle snaps back to reality to see his family staring at him: WHAT??
Everyone's staring daggers at him
Edward: WHY THE FUCK DIDNT U BRING US ALONG ASSWHOLE
Emmett: Yeah seriously not cool
Jasper: way to think of your FAMILY's needs u bitch (jasper starsts crying)
Alice: since when can you cry?
Jasper: since this bitch started writing a retarded fanfic about us
Alice: Oh I see
Bella: you fuckheads are all on crack and edward get the fuck out of newton's pants
Edward: sorry bella
Bella: yeah bitch you should be
Edward: no I mean im sorry but mike won the roshambo, im his sex slave now
Bella: ESCUSE ME
Jasper: sorry bells but I have to agree with him there
Emmett: yeah sorry guess your gonna have to GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE
Bella: I get the feeling you don't want me here
Jasper (wow this chick is a fuckin dipshit): Oh of course not bella but edward's mikes now so its time for you to leave
Alice: uhh no way bella's my fuckbuddy
Emmett: WHY DOES NO ONE INVITE ME TO THESE THINGS?
Bella: cuz ur a fuckin tank ever heard of jenny craig
Emmett: at least I didnt kiss my sister... LUKE SKYWALKER...
Everyone turns around to see Luke skywlaker making out with leia
Edward: Man thats ur sister sick dude
Emmett: yea thats the line for me
Jasper: well not me see you fuckers later
Jasper walks over to luke and leia and starts a threesome with them
Jasper: UHH UHH WHOS UR DADDY
Luke and Leia: DARTH VADER!
Just then darth vader walks in
Vader: I TOLD YOU WHORES TO WAIT FOR ME GOD DAMN
Jasper: sorry I started without you sup man im jasper
vader: what the fuck kind of shit name is that who the hell do u think you are
Jasper: can you think of anything better?
Vader: of course I can everyone comes up with a kickass sith name when they turn over to the dark side, like mine was annikin but they thought it was too pussy so I came up with darth vader
Jasper: well mine should be... uhh...
Mike: Well I've chosen mine and edwards to be Ben and Ilene Dover.
Vader: See thats a sexy sexy name you cant come up with anything shithole now get out of my threesome bitch
Jasper starts crying again and walks back to the cullens
Carlisle: Well I guess we should play some more games, where to first?
Edward: DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION!! he screamed again.