A/N: I've had this idea for a while, and I finally got it typed out! I know the first chapter may seem a bit boring, but it's going to get WAY better. There will be Renji/Shuuhei, Renji/Byakuya, Shuuhei/Kira, and mentioned Gin/Kira. If you don't like it, don't read!
If love was simple, then it probably wouldn't be as meaningful. At least that's what Renji Ababrai was trying to convince himself as he paced across his hard wood floor at two in the morning. He couldn't sleep, and if this shit kept going on it wasn't likely he'd get any sleep in the next five years! Shuuhei. Byakuya. Shuuhei. Byakuya. He couldn't decide. Or rather, he knew that if he did decide, a heart would be broken, and he didn't want to do that. Not to Shuuhei. The 9th division lieutenant meant too much to Renji for that.
"Dammit!" Renji kicked the wall in front of him, trying to vent his anger, but he only ended up hurting his foot. He had a problem, a big problem, and absolutely no idea how to solve it. He was in love with his captain, Byakuya Kuchiki. Normally that would be a problem in itself, because of the simple fact that Byakuya might not like him back, but it was in even bigger problem because Renji was currently dating Shuuhei Hisagi. Not casually, like one or two dates, but seriously. They'd been together for more than a year, and Renji thought they'd be together forever. He loved Shuuhei, he really did, but he couldn't deny his emerging feelings for Byakuya. Just looking at his captain made his heart flutter. His captain's beauty had never escaped him, but now he was aware of all the other traits Byakuya had besides his beauty. How he was always calm and in control, how hard he worked, how powerful he was… how, even though he tried to seem cold and uncaring, it was obvious that he really cared a lot. No, there was no way Renji could ever forget of Byakuya. But he couldn't just drop Shuuhei either.
Sighing, Renji flopped down unto his bed. Might as well try to get some sleep. He'd worry about everything in the morning.
As Shuuhei Hisagi stared out his window into the star-filled sky, he tried not to think about Renji. Or rather about how Renji was acted lately. His boyfriend had seemed so distant the last time he had seen him, and a little sad too. It did no good asking what was wrong; Renji always said everything was fine. But Renji was easy to read, and Shuuhei knew he really wasn't fine. The question was: what was wrong? Did he do something to make the other act like that? Or was it something else? Someone else? Suddenly it felt like someone had thrust a knife into Shuuhei's heart. Someone else. Renji couldn't really be in love (or falling in love) with someone else, could he? Could he be cheating? Was he staring into someone else's eyes right now and kissing them senseless?
Stop it, Shuuhei told himself, annoyed. He mustn't think like that! Renji would never cheat on him. He'd told Shuuhei that again and again. Unfortunately, Shuuhei was insecure that way. He'd been cheated on before. After that it was a long time before he allowed himself to have a relationship again, and when he finally began to date Renji he had been distant at first, very careful, as to be sure not to get hurt again. But no matter how cautious he was, he found himself falling head over heels in love with the red-head. So far everything had been great. It was only recently that Renji had been acting strange. Shuuhei hoped it would go away in time, but had a feeling it wouldn't.
Annoyed and un-tired, Shuuhei opened the door of his home and stepped outside. Perhaps a walk would bring him some answers.
Kira Izuru turned over in his bed, and a few minutes later, turned again. No matter what position he was in he couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about Shuuhei. He couldn't deny his strong feelings for his friend, and it was driving him crazy. He tried to tell himself time and time again that Shuuhei was dating Renji, one of his other close friends, but it didn't do too much good. He had been having feelings for the other lieutenant for a while now, and it was getting to the point where he couldn't even look at the other for fear he would be found out.
Finally, after a few more minutes of tossing and turning, he stood up and headed for the door. If he couldn't sleep he might as well get some exercise. There was a full moon that night and the stars were shining brightly. Shuuhei just stood for a moment, gazing up at the sky. He'd always loved the sky at night. It was so beautiful, so mysterious. To think that there was a whole other world somewhere out there, far away.
He began to walk slowly, enjoying the cool night air. Soon his thoughts strayed from Renji to the mission he had just come back from the other day. He'd been leading a group of lower ranked shinigami against a powerful hollow that had recently been spotted in the human world. It was hard at first because the hollow was very good at not being seen, but eventually they tracked it down and destroyed it. The memory brought a smile to his face. He always felt so strong after a good battle. He didn't really love fighting, but when he had to do it he gave it his best, which was usually pretty good.
As Kira rounded a corner, he suddenly found himself sprawled on the ground. "What the-?"
"Kira… I'm sorry! I wasn't really watching where I was going…."
The blond lieutenant froze. He knew that voice. Shuuhei. Forcing a smile, he raised his head and saw the other looking down at him, hand extended. Kira took it gratefully, and Shuuhei pulled him to his feet. Trying to ignore the electric feeling he had gotten when their hands touched, Kira brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes. "It's fine. I wasn't really watching where I was going either." He laughed, and then quickly shut his mouth, hoping he didn't sound too nervous.
There was silence for a moment, then Shuuhei realized he was still holding Kira's hand. Quickly he released it, turning his head to hide his blush. Wait, what? Why was he blushing? This was just Kira, one of his best friends! There was nothing to blush about. He glanced over at Kira, who was also looking away. The blond seemed distracted that night, anxious, and Shuuhei wished he knew what was wrong.
"Hey, are you okay?" he asked softly, touching Kira's shoulder. The blond nearly jumped, then seemed to calm himself.
"Yes, I'm fine," he replied, smiling. The smile looked a bit fake to Shuuhei, but then again, what did he know? He really wasn't good with emotions.
'Well, I better get home," Kira murmured, but he couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from Shuuhei.
'Yeah, me too. It's pretty late. See you around." But Shuuhei didn't move either. Finally, after a few minutes of staring at each other, Shuuhei forced his feet to move and began to walk away. He didn't know why in the world he had felt like that. As he was just about to turn a corner, he had sudden urge to look back, and when he did, his eyes fell on Kira. The blond was standing in a pool of moonlight, his silky hair brushing his shoulders. He looked like… an angel. With a soft sigh, Shuuhei turned again and started home, wondering what had come over him.