Warm Me Up
Sesshy's Mistress
Summary: They thought him cold-blooded. He shouldn't have let it get to him, but he did. Even as his lover tries to tell him different, warn him of the path he takes, he can't forget what happened or what he did…
Note: One shot! Do not ask for more.
TIMELINE: Several years after the death of Obitio AND Rin. Kakashi has joined the Anbu and the Nine Tails attack is on the horizon. I am twisting this time so that Kakashi's generation is a couple of years older than they actually were and Guy's lecture to Kakashi about friendship happened the night of Nine Tail's attack!
…
...
Even after all this time he had the nightmares. They haunted him like restless spirits. Would he ever be free of those cursed images? Even during the day he was haunted by their voices. There were some days when Kakashi wasn't sure how much more he could take. They chipped away at him one small piece at a time. How much longer would it be before there was nothing left of him?
You've gotten awfully cold since joining the Anbu. I've heard the gossip. They're calling you cold-blooded…. That's no reason to forget about our friendship. Youth is too short!
Guy's words echoed through his mind, angering him and saddening him at the same time. He didn't understand. It was Kakashi's fault that Rin had died. Regardless of what people tried to tell him. He could still see the truth in their eyes. They knew what he did. There was no redemption for it.
So lost in thought was Kakashi that he did not realize where his feet had taken him. It was a familiar beaten path. He could hardly recall when it began, but it was the only place he could forget his worries. His eye glanced to the sky. The moon was full and bright, but it no longer lingered in the middle of the dark sky. Midnight had come and passed.
He questioned whether or not he should disturb her. He had only just decided to return home when the wind picked up, carrying with it the whispers of the dead.
Kakashi….
Was that the whistle of his Chidori that floated along the wind? Kakashi brought his hands to his ears, pressing against them in an attempt to mute the noise.
Kakashi…
His eyes were burning with unshed tears and a pain erupted in his chest. It was a pain unlike any physical wound he had ever suffered. Even when the memories faded, he would feel the constant ache. The ache of a wound that would never heal.
Without having to give it conscious thought, he was jumping through the air to land on a branch near her window. The lights of the apartment were off. She was probably already in bed, but that mattered not. With a skill that spoke of familiarity, he slid into the window and past her defenses. She had been asleep when he first entered, but it didn't last for long. Her body moved on instinct, but it was a dance he knew well. It wasn't easy, but it didn't take long to sweep her back to the bed, pinning her in place until her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room.
From her bedside window the light of the moon shone on his face, highlighting his features. Dark blue eyes narrowed as they gazed upon him. Her lips pulled into a disapproving frown, but before she could open that mouth to chastise him, he pulled his mask away and pressed his lips to hers.
It was not an innocent kiss. Theirs never were. His mouth slanted against her own and was fierce in its demands. At first she struggled, but his hold on her wrists tightened while his body pushed her further into her mattress. Eventually she succumbed, returning the kiss. When he was certain she would no longer fight, he moved his hands from her arms to the rest of her body.
It didn't take long for him to shed her of her simple night gown while his mouth trailed a path down her neck and to her shoulder.
"Kakashi," She gasped into his ear. Her nimble fingers had already made work of his armor, tugging it off and sliding it to the floor before moving to the stiff cloth of his Anbu clothing. He didn't stop in his actions, he only continued to drown his sorrows into her body. Every stroke of his fingers was precise and his actions were rewarded by breathy moans and her body arching against his.
His lean but muscular form molded perfectly with her softer one.
"Kakashi," She whispered again as his mouth trailed over her chest and to her breast. His mouth was hot as he tasted the supple flesh there while his hands moved south, one cupping the curve of her ass while the other stroked between her legs.
She was whimpering beneath him even as her legs opened wider and moved to wrap around his waist. Her fingers were in his hair, massaging his scalp before gripping a fistful of his hair and dragging him back to her mouth. This time their mouths waged a war of control just as he slid into her. She stiffened beneath him as her body pushed against his.
It was then that everything was silent. There were not ghostly whispers or haunting visions plaguing him, only the woman writhing beneath him and the feel of her wrapped around him. Kakashi felt his body relax even as his hips moved against hers. It was slow at first as he allowed her to adjust to his size. It had been a while since his last visit but he would not hurt her to satisfy himself.
Once she adjusted, however, his pace quickened. He took control. One hand fisted in her hair, tilting her head back for better access while his other hand held tight to her hip. His fingers buried deep into the soft flesh of her hips and he was sure she would bruise afterwards. Yet, as his pace grew faster and harder, she followed and kept with him. Her hands trailed his back, nails digging into the skin and leaving red streaks in their wake.
He took his anger and sadness out on her body and she accepted it readily, letting him drown himself in her.
The softness of her skin.
Her clean and sweet scent.
The sound of her voice as she moaned for him.
The feel of her tightening around him as they both found release….
The light of the moon outside her window was shadowed by the clouds. It was gone but a moment only to appear again. With it a figure robed in black occupied the roof nearby. The two were too caught up in themselves to notice the figure. It stayed only a minute before disappearing with the next shadowing of the moon.
Several minutes passed before Kakashi unwound himself from her. His body slid to the bed next to her, and she rolled to lie at his side. Her hand covered his chest at the exact spot that normally radiated with pain. At the moment, he was numb save for the rush of pleasure their actions had caused.
For a while they stayed like that in silence. She was the first to break it.
"Guy came to speak with me today," Her lips tickled over his skin as she spoke. "He is worried about you."
You've gotten awfully cold since joining the Anbu. I've heard the gossip. They're calling you cold-blooded….
Kakashi said nothing and instead tried to ignore the memory.
"You should speak with him," She suggested and he tensed.
She sensed it and pushed herself up so that she sat next to him. "It isn't healthy for you to withdraw so much, Kakashi." Her hand ran through her hair, pushing the long, silver locks out of her face. "Your friends are worried about you."
Kakashi…
He sat up suddenly and brought a hand to cover his eye. Even with her he refused to reveal his sharingan. Her hand was suddenly on his shoulder but he shrugged it off and moved to stand. He left her on the bed as he moved around the dark room.
The air was thick as he tried to push the memories away. He could hear her moving as he dressed himself. When he finished dressing, he turned to her to find her wrapped in the blanket from her bed. One hand clasped the folds of the blanket to her chest while the other reached towards him. It glowed a soft silver light that was warm to the touch.
As her fingers touched his cheek, he flinched unconsciously. Even in the dark her eyes caught the subtle motion. A look of disapproval and hurt filled her as she continued to pour her light into him. Kakashi suddenly felt refreshed. The ache in his back from her nails disappeared. Truly, she was gifted at her craft. Yet he knew, just as easily as she could heal, she could kill…
"Talk to me…" She whispered pleadingly.
He turned from her touch and glared at the wall. Against it were pictures of her and her friends—her teammates. They were all smiling and happy as they hugged one another. A feeling of jealousy and anger swelled within his heart. Why was she allowed to have the ones she loved? Why were his teammates stolen from him and not her?!
She sensed the change and retracted her hand as if burned. Those dark blue eyes looked upon him with sympathy and he cursed. He didn't want pity. This was the one place he could come to escape the looks of others.
"I don't need your pity, Usa," His voice sounded cruel even to his own ears.
"It wasn't your fault," Usagi's voice was soft but firm as she moved towards him. He easily evaded her and moved to the window. For a moment he paused when something tickled his senses, but it was gone quickly. In the distance a dog barked and a cat shrieked. The day had caught up with him. He was tired and he shouldn't have come.
"Then why did you?" She asked and he realized too late that his words were said aloud.
"I think it's best that I go," He was willing to pretend this had never happened. He could forget the look of pity on her face so that things could continue. Yet, as he tried to do just that, he missed the look on her face and the flicker of her chakra.
"Please," she begged and for the first time ever, he saw the sadness swelling within her eyes. There was a knowing in those deep blue eyes and the concern for him was obvious. "Do not let this darkness consume you, Kakashi."
"You wouldn't understand," He all but growled while turning to her again. He advanced upon her and she took an unconscious step back. "Look around," He waved towards the wall decorated in pictures of her family, friends, and teammates. "You have everything and dare to criticize me about something you have not a clue about? How could you or Guy possibly understand?"
Hurt flashed through her eyes before it was replaced with determination. Usagi had always been so stubborn. It was one of the traits he had always admired about her.
"I can never wash it off!" He shoved his hand towards her. "The stains will never go away. The smell of her blood…. The feel of it…. Knowing what I did…"
"You did nothing," Usagi argued. "It wasn't you who made her into a jinchuriki!"
"It was my Chidori that tore through her!" He yelled while shoving her away. Her foot caught on the blanket that had been dragging the ground. With nothing to catch herself with, she fell and this caught him off guard. The image of Rin being impaled by that very hand flashed through his mind's eyes once more. Though they shared no similar features, when Usagi looked up to him, he saw Rin's face.
Pain erupted into his chest once more and he fell to his knees.
"I'm so sorry," Usagi spoke gently as she moved to his side. Her hand pushed away his bangs as she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his brow. Her energy flowed into him, chasing the pain away. "I'm so sorry, Kakashi."
He could hear the truth in her words but he refused to answer her. He wanted to get out of here. No, he needed to get out of here before he accidentally hurt her too! Kakashi stood and turned back to the window.
"Wait!" She cried while taking his hand in hers. "Listen to me if only for this one moment. Please, Kakashi!" She begged of him and he could not help but to pause in his escape. "It hurts. I know it hurts, and I know there is nothing that I can do to make it stop hurting. Just know that if you follow this path, it will lead to only darkness and destruction. Do not let the pain of the past extinguish your light. People need you, more than you will ever realize."
"How could I protect them if I could not protect her?" he questioned in a tone that spoke of how truly broken he felt.
"Find something or someone to protect," She smiled then. "Find them and protect them with every fiber of your being. Fill your life with this purpose if nothing else."
He stayed standing there with her for several minutes. His eye gazing at her smiling face over his shoulder. Her intentions were good, but her words meant nothing to him in this time of pain. Even now her abilities were waning and the pain in his chest was returning.
"I don't think we should continue this," His words meant more than their line of conversation. He expected her to be shocked. He expected her to be a lot of things, but what he wasn't expecting was for that knowing look to return. It was as if she knew what he was going to say.
"I know." Her voice sounded broken then. It was very un-Usagi-like. It made him pause and reconsider his words. "And I understand." This time when her eyes met his, he could see it. She was telling him it was okay. She was telling him goodbye.
"I'll miss you, Kakashi." For some reason, her words seemed to be speaking beyond their current conversation. "Take care of yourself, and please try to remember what I said…"
He was confused, and maybe that was why he allowed her to give him one last kiss. Her lips were sweet against his own, but it wasn't the same as all the others. This one held a bitter taste to it that he could not understand. He didn't question her, though, as she replaced the mask over his face and turned from him.
With one last look, Kakashi left her standing there.
"Goodbye Kakashi…"
Only when she was certain that he was far gone did she drop the sheet so that she could activate the jutsu. "I don't know who you are and quite frankly I do not care." Her gentle voice turned hard as her eyes flashed dangerously.
From within the shadows a form appeared. The person was cloaked and over his face was an orange mask with black streaks. The only other feature showing through his disguise was the red eye glowing in the light of the moon.
Sharingan!
His aura was dark and it sent a shiver down her spine. Usagi stood straight and ignored the chill growing in the room. She had activated a jutsu that would prevent him from going after Kakashi. She was certain that had been his true target to begin with.
Now, however….
"You do not fear me?" The figure questioned in surprise and amusement.
"No," She responded with venom in her words.
"Do you fear what I come to bring you?" She could hear the smirk in his words.
"I care not for my own fate," Usagi spoke, surprising him. "Just know that you will fail. You, Danzo, Orochimaru… all of you will fail…"
"So what they say is true," The person spoke while lifting a hand to the mask. Usagi stiffened as she waited for his move. "You can see things?" Her breath caught in her throat as the mask was removed to show a familiar but mutilated face.
"Obito?"
"Apparently not everything though. What a shame." His amused look turned hateful as he glared upon her. "I shall greatly enjoy this."
Usagi fell into a fighting stance and in her hands two glowing discs of white appeared. Without waiting for him to make a move, she threw the discs of pure energy towards him. He was faster than her, and easily merged with the darkness of the room.
"You must tell me what it is like to be a silent witness to your own death," His breath ghosted over her shoulder and she spun to kick him. He was gone before her foot made contact. "How horrible it must be to know you will die and be unable to stop it."
"It must be even worse," She spoke while sending her discs of energy flying again. "To be naught but a puppet for the darkness. Tell me, how does it feel to betray your village, your friends, and the people you once swore to protect?" She could feel his anger and reserved herself to her fate. Had she not just returned from a week long battle, she may have held out longer or could have stopped him. Still…
She had seen what was to come, and while she did not wish to die, she knew that fate would have its way in the end. It was a sacrifice she had to take to ensure the future of her beloved people… of the village she had come to call her own and love like her own…
With this thought to guide her to the next life, she hardly even felt the hand that buried into her chest. The darkness of his chakra tore through her, burning her down to the soul. Blood bubbled in the back of her throat and pooled into her mouth. His grin was of victory, but it was short lived. Even with his hand through her chest, she stepped forward to embrace him in a hug.
"I'm so sorry," Blood flowed over her mouth and down her chin. The light in her eyes was fading.
"How dare you!" He screamed when he saw the look of pity that transformed into forgiveness on her face. "How dare you take this from me!" She was gone several seconds later, and he threw her lifeless body to the floor.
"How dare you take my revenge from me!" He screamed while kicking her corpse. For a half hour he took his anger out on her body. When he was finished, she no longer resembled the flawless girl that had once been wrapped in Kakashi's arms. Would Obito's old teammate even recognize her now? This caused him to smirk as he knelt to pick up her broken form. He was not done yet. There was still much to be done.
It didn't take him long. He was gone before the others came. After all, the woman had been one of the best healers the village had ever known. She was on call for the birth of the Fourth's child. Given Kushina's waning health, the woman had been the best bet of both mother and child surviving the birth…
…
The roar of Nine Tails shook the ground and Kakashi paused in his escape. How did this happen?
"Kakashi!" A familiar voice broke him from his shock. Turning towards Guy, Kakashi was reminded of Usagi's words. "We must hurry! My pent-up fiery passion cannot be restrained much longer!"
Even in his hurt, Kakashi could not fight back the smirk at Guy's antics. "Don't be so hasty," Kakashi warned before Guy could run off to challenge the beast. His warning was not needed for all the young shinobi were being summoned to safety away from the beast. Not one to disobey orders, Kakashi coerced Guy into following him to the guards' room.
It didn't take long for all of the younger shinobi to be gathered and it was then that Kakashi sensed something wrong. He looked around. While he was not looking forward to facing her so soon, he was worried. The beast had appeared close to Usagi's apartment and he was anxious for a glance of her to assure him of her safety. The longer he looked, however, the more dread he felt. She was nowhere to be found.
"Where is Usagi-chan?" Guy suddenly asked the very same question Kakashi was silently asking himself. It was well known that Guy had crush on the silver-haired girl.
"Usagi is being brought to Lady Kushina," was the answer supplied by the Jonin. This put both Kakashi and Guy at ease. With that concern laid to rest, the Jonin proceeded to inform the younger shinobi of the reason to their seclusion from the battle. Many were not happy, including Kurenai, but they had little choice but to wait.
When the battle finally ended, the village was torn apart, the Fourth Hokage was dead as was his wife, Lady Kushina.
"But Usagi-chan—" Guy started but their Jonin leader, Kurenai's father, interrupted him.
"Usagi's body was found shortly before the attack of Nine Tails…" He spoke but the rest of his words were lost to Kakashi who stood shocked.
Usagi's body….
"No…" Kakashi whispered before turning and running towards the heart of the destruction. The words of his advisor and friend went ignored as he hurried to her apartment. The closer he got, the worse the destruction became. The Nine Tails had spared nothing in its path. Kakashi felt the pain in his chest explode when realization dawned on him. The area where her apartment had been was completely destroyed.
Usagi's body was found shortly before the attack…
I'm so sorry, Kakashi…
I'll miss you….
He didn't need to see her apartment to know the truth. She had been killed and not by the Nine Tails. Someone had killed her shortly after he had left. His mind replayed that memory when he was at her window. He had sensed something but ignored it in favor of escaping. Cursing himself, Kakashi ran to the only place he could imagine that they would take her body—the hospital.
Time passed slow for him as he ran towards his destination. When he finally made it there, he was not surprised to find it full with injured civilians and shinobi alike. Ignoring everything around him, he ran towards a medic.
"Where is Usagi Tsukino's body?" He demanded. The woman looked taken aback momentarily but quickly regained her wits. "I don't have time to argue, tell me where IS SHE?!" He yelled and the waiting room became silent. His hands were fisted and unconsciously killing intent had leaked into his eyes. With a shaky hand, the nurse pointed in the direction of one of the hallways.
"R-room 234," She whimpered before moving away from the angered man.
Kakashi took off running and prayed to any god listening that this was some cruel joke. When he got to her room, though, instead of rushing in, he paused. His hand rested on the handle and gently turned it. Kakashi had never been so terrified in his entire life.
Usagi's body was found…
Body was found…
Body…found…
He felt numb as he pushed open the door and stared through the doorway at the body on the bed. His heart sank when he saw the red stain on the blanket.
"No…no…..," He was crying as he approached the bed. Her hands were over the sheets, laying at her side and they were as pale as the bedding. Her silver hair was pulled to the side and braided to keep it out of the way.
The memory of her wrapped in the sheet rose to the surface of his mind. This was not the woman he had left behind. A shaky hand traced her swollen and darkened cheek. Her entire body was covered in bruises, cuts, and blood. When his hand came to the sheet, he paused but knew he had to see. Slowly he drew the sheet back. When his eyes landed on the wound, he felt sick.
Kakashi…
He turned and ran for the bathroom, emptying what little contents were in his stomach. When there was nothing left, he fell to the ground and cried for her and for his loss…
...
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Present
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...
He wouldn't have believed it had he not seen it for himself. There she was. Usagi was standing before him, only it wasn't truly her. Her flawless skin, the kind he had known many a night in the past, was covered in cracks. Her once blue eyes were black with the eyes of a controlled puppet instead of that free spirit she had been known for.
"It is good to see you again, Kakashi," Her voice was her own, and he recognized the sadness in her tone. What surprised him, though, was the resigned look on her face. It was not a look of surprise like many of the others. It was almost as if she knew this would come.
"Usa," He whispered and his voice nearly cracked as tears threatened pool in his eyes. The last time he had seen her…
He cringed as the image of her body filled his mind.
"I'm so sorry, Kakashi," She moved forward and he had not the heart to attack. He couldn't force his hand against her, not even if she was being used to destroy him. "I wish I could have stopped it—stopped him." Her tone was full of regret.
"Him?" Kakashi's attention was drawn to her.
"Obito," She stated mournfully. Kakashi wanted to deny it, but everything started to make sense, especially the fatal wound to her chest. He could remember it clearly. It had been horrible but it also reminded him of..
"Rin…" He whispered in realization. Obito had been watching them. Obito had been watching him. He had started his revenge long ago by taking Usagi from Kakashi.
Kakashi fell to his knees as Usagi came to him. He expected an attack but instead felt her hand pushing his bangs back. The familiar gesture caused him to look up just as she placed a kiss to his masked cheek.
"I've missed you," Her tone was bittersweet. "This isn't how I would have wanted us to meet again."
He saw what he had to do in the look on her face. She was using every ounce of her abilities to fight the jutsu controlling her. Even in death she was stubborn to the core.
"I hate to ask this of you, Kakashi," Truly she hated to put him in this situation, especially since he had found some semblance of peace at one time. "I can't do it myself. I'm too weak and my will is waning. Please, kill me so I cannot hurt you or the others. Please."
It was painful how similar her words were to those of Rin's. He felt tears leaking down his eyes to soak into his mask. She smiled down at him and cupped his cheek with a gentle hand. Even in this form, her hands were warm to the touch. He felt himself leaning into that touch. How he had missed it.
How Kakashi had missed her. He had never stopped mourning her death…
Knowing that it was Obito… it caused so many emotions to fill him.
"I'm proud of you, Kakashi." She smiled and helped him to his feet. Her hands reached for the hand he used in his Chidori attack. "It took a while, but you did it. You found people to protect. Now you have to do what I told you to do back then. Protect them, even if it is from me." She put his hand on her chest.
"Don't let Obito win. Don't let his darkness consume you too," She begged of him with that gentle smile on her face. Tears were gathering in her eyes as well. It was then that Kakashi realized just how much he had missed her. How many nights had he dreamed of their last night together? How long had he wished to go back and change things. He had wanted more time with her, needed it. Now that he had it…
"I'm sorry," He whispered while leaning his forehead against hers. "I never realized how important you were to me until it was too late."
"That's usually how it goes," She chuckled softly, but it was full of grief.
Kakashi cupped her cheek with one hand and tugged his mask down with the other. He didn't care who was watching as he gave her a kiss. It was a mere brushing of their lips. He could feel her lean into it and wished desperately that things had been different.
"Goodbye," she whispered against his lips as she felt his chakra soar. The whistle of his attack filled the air and without breaking eye contact, he sent his fist through her chest.
"Goodbye, Usa," He whispered gently. When her body fell against him, he allowed the power of his attack to explode. The seal was destroyed and her body faded into dust as her soul returned to rest. For a while he stood there with tears running down his face until the heartbreak was replaced with anger. He would avenge her and the others who had died.
He would not let their memory or hers be in vain.
"I'll miss you, Usagi," He spoke before running to find Obito.
…
...
Damn, that was long. I kinda rushed the ending so forgive me! Between my friend Megan and my boyfriend, I was easily distracted and lost focus. So, I can't remember how I wanted to end it exactly, but this was close enough.
Like I said, this is a one shot. Do not ask for more! Usagi is dead. Speaking of her, Usagi was mortal, no Sailor Moon powers, just some elemental powers and power of sight. Her appearance was that of Cosmos with some influence of Serenity. So yeah… sorry if there was any confusion.
Also, this was set in the past but flashed to the present, when Kakashi and the others had to fight Obito. I had to tweak some things if you didn't notice. However, I think I did it justice. Let me know what you think!
RxR