"Gaara, I don't think I can last long in this relationship," she confessed after a long time of silence. The man stopped stirring the ice cubes in the glass. "What?" his voice was almost monotone. She sighed, "Gaara, we need to cool-off." He let go of the straw and rested his hand on the smooth surface of the table. "Why?" his words were usually one-word and it usually makes her pissed.
"You're asking as if it's not obvious," her voice was soft yet firm. His innocent face was still on and it was like mocking her. "I don't think this can go on. I think we need to break-up for awhile and-" "No." She stopped to look at him. His expression portrayed dispute. "You won't break-up with me," he said. She sighed mentally, this isn't what she expected. "Why not?" she asked. "Because I said so," he stated simply.
"Gaara, I-I can't go on any further," she said. "I don't think I can handle your possessiveness anymore." It was his turn to sigh. "It's because I love you," he told her. She almost snorted, Is loving me means you take all my loved ones away? "Gaara it's not love, you're making me into some kind of possession," she murmured trying to keep her cool. "But you're mine," he answered. This aggravated her. "You know Gaara? All you do is keep guys away from me. That's okay, but even my male family members? I tried to understand you but soon you began scaring away the female population from me! And every time I tell you about it, all you do is threaten me that you'll cut your wrists!"
Gaara just stared at her after her outburst. "The answer is still no," he murmured. "I love you. You promised to love me back. Now you want to break up?" The girl sighed. Even from the start, she knew this relationship won't do any good. She's 18 and he's just 15.
She stared into his cyan eyes. They were always empty but since she came to his life, it seemed to have life inside. She sighed and decided to say nothing. He was still holding the plastic straw and twirled it inside the glass.
She wondered deep inside herself why or how did it became like this.
She sighed once again and her thoughts drifted back to the memory…
.
"Now where did he go?" she thought as she ran and checked every room. "Granny would surely kill me if I couldn't get him ready for next week's exam," she whispered worriedly to herself. She went wherever her feet took her. She still remembered her grandmother's harsh words.
"I want you to do something for me," the lady's hazel orbs seemed to pierce her soul. The girl just gulped but she didn't make it so obvious. She knew what she's up to again. The old lady handed her some papers. She warily reached to it and had a good look of what's written. It had a picture of a boy, his name, age, birth date, blood type and all about him. She confusedly looked back to her grandmother. "He's getting quite a failure of this school. I want you to do whatever you can to improve him," she said with a commanding voice.
She couldn't help but look away. It was always like this. "How can she make me help someone if I, myself, can't even help myself?" she thought. The frequent mandates are making her pull-out from her classes, thus affecting her studies. But her grandmother doesn't seem to care. Instead, she even threatens her to get good grades or else something bad will happen.
The lady seemed to notice her spacing out. "What? Are you trying to tell me you don't want to?" she asked coldly. The girl snapped back to reality and shook her head. "No, I was just thinking of something." "You better be thinking of how you do it because it's the only thing you can do to have some use," she spat. She looked down, "Yes, grandma."
She checked down the piece of paper and grimaced, "He didn't attend his morning classes, again." Last week, they met and it wasn't so good since first he was cold to her, second he threatened to hurt her, third he left her and fourth he ran away and is now currently hiding away from her.
She concluded that this kid is an emo. Base from his looks, his attitude and his aura, you can already tell what he is.
Soon, she found the last room. She hurriedly walked in and saw him sitting on the dusty chair. She mentally sighed. "Gaara," she murmured. The said boy tilted his head to her direction. She slowly walked towards him but stopped when he suddenly spoke. "I told you, leave me alone," his voice was monotonous. "You know I can't," she said. She has been persuading this kid but he is too hard.
To her greatest surprise (and shock), he pulled out a blade from his pocket and showed it to her threateningly. "I told you I'll hurt you," he murmured. Never in her whole life did she feel so pissed off like this. She inhaled and exhaled, inhaled and exhaled. She placed a palm on her forehead then covered her eyes.
She's already very tired of the pressure school is giving her, all the assignments, the quizzes, the exams and the lessons. She was already very tired of her grandmother. She isn't even sure if she sees her like a granddaughter or even just a human being. She orders her like she's a slave and she treats her like she's some kind of trash. She's tired of dealing with so many heartaches. She's tired of keeping herself all together in shape.
And now, she's gonna have this guy under her wing?
She lost her cool. Tears started falling from her other eye then from the other. Gaara noticed this but just keep quiet. Her shoulders shook a bit as she sniffed to keep herself from crying.
"Y-You, you don't know how hard life is for me," she rubbed her eyes, "You don't know how much pressure I'm experiencing right now." His usual nonchalant face now held confusion. She removed her hand from her eyes and he saw her eyes were getting red. "I sacrificed just to help you. All I'm asking is your cooperation. Is that so hard to give?" she asked trying to sound firm. "1 week, I've been chasing you for one week. You think it's that easy? I have classes to attend! But you know what? I can't do anything because my grandmother w- would kill me." She let herself sit on a chair and tried to ease her crying.
"Now, you want to hurt me? Go on! You can stab me all you want because it's all the same. Maybe it would be better if you start killing me now. Yeah, that would be better! Maybe my suffering would end that way," she said. The redhead could only stare at her sudden outburst. He never encountered someone like her. He somehow felt… pity.
She heard something fell on the floor and saw the blade lying on the cold cement. Then, she saw him walk away and out of the door. Now, she's looking at his retreating back. She felt so hopeless. What would she say to her grandmother? It has been one week and still no improvement.
.
.
"You useless brat! You still didn't make a move? The father is already expecting for his son to show him good grades. What would I say to him? He's a one of the stockholders of the corporation, for Pete's sake!" her cruel voice rang in her head. She could only look down the carpeted floor. She almost jumped when her grandmother's fist made contact with the table. The standing frame of PRINCIPAL almost fell off the desk. "I'm s-sorry," she whispered.
Tsunade cringed at her granddaughter's words. "That's all your mother say when she came back to me crying when your father left her," she growled. The girl knew Tsunade disliked her father. It wasn't true that her father left her mother. It was all her grandma's fault. She threatened him that she'll disown her mother if they continue to be together. And since she's born female and can't carry the family name plus she looked like her father, Tsunade is hard on her.
Her mother died while saying 'Love your grandmother and don't ever leave her like I did.' And that's what she's doing right now, fulfilling her mother's last wish.
"Get out. And make sure you have something good to tell me when you come back. Understood, Shin?"
"Yes, grandmother."
.
.
She don't know how long had she been crying in an abandoned room of the campus. All she asked herself was, "why does it have to be like this?"
.
Meanwhile, Gaara has been watching her. He saw how she cried, she suffered. This made him think twice. He suddenly had a change of heart.
The next day, Shin was so surprised when she saw Gaara waiting for her in the corridor. Her shocked expression turned into a happy one. She walked to him with a comfortable aura around her. "Konichiwa, Gaara-san," and they left.
.
"Okay, that's it. Very good," she said as she checked his works. To her surprise, Gaara is a fast learner. In fact, it's like he doesn't need to be taught anymore. Gaara was quiet all through the period. He only speaks if he needs to answer. But the way, they're at a classroom in the school. Soon, it was already time to go home. They walked together down the stairs and out of the campus. Gaara was amazed that she remained stable and relaxed after sending her some of his famous death glares of evil. It was like she's treating like an ordinary person.
"Good night Gaara-san. See you tomorrow," she said as she waved bye. He just looked away and left.
.
.
Days went on….
Everything seemed to go on well for Mari. Gaara is cooperating; her grandmother doesn't seem to care anymore, luck's on her side. She grinned absent-mindedly. Suddenly Gaara went in and saw her in her semi-conscious state. He just stared at her, thinking she broke her mind, then sat on a chair for another lesson. She stopped grinning and smiled at him cutely. "Hi, Gaara," she said. Gaara could feel his hair standing on end. What the heck happened to his tutor? He unconsciously backed away in his seat. She suddenly went out of her poor state and blinked. "Oh, uhh… Yeah. Good afternoon Gaara-san. How did your tests go?" He sighed and gave her the papers. She smiled, "Very good. You're making progress. Congratulations. " He rolled his eyes and looked away.
"Today, we're going to have values education," she looked at him with narrow eyes. "I've heard that you had been so nice in that class." He looked at her and he surprisingly answered, "I did what he told me." She raised a brow, "What did he told you?" He handed out an instruction card to her and she read it. "And what did you write?" He handed her his work. She read his essay. She almost paled. "Y-You want to kill your father? What the hell Gaara!" He didn't respond. She just scratched her head, "Oh well, it's your own opinion. What else can I do?" She smiled, much to his surprise. "You don't need to explain yourself. I know you have your own reasons." She fixed the books and the notes, "So Gaara-san, let's talk about peace."
.
After the lesson, he miraculously felt enlightened. How about being a Christian? He thought. He never knew a girl like her can have him thinking these kinds of stuffs.
.
.
They began working together, helping each other without Gaara knowing. He seemed to feel at ease with her. She wasn't annoying or stupid. He thinks he could last a day with her without hurting anyone. Without them knowing it, they were becoming close friends. Understanding each other and being there for one another. Gaara learned to be open with her. But never with other people. Mari would laugh with him even if he never reacts. This would only make her laugh more. Gaara would look at her like she's his Onee-chan. Mari calls him baby brother whenever they're alone. She figured out that he's not so hard to get along with at all.
"Okay Gaara, what do you know of noble gases?" she asked as they walked around the campus grounds. "Stable gases." She questioned, "That's all?" "We haven't discussed that yet," he told her. She grinned, "I knew it! You're so smart Gaara-chan!" He blushed at the nickname. "Shut up." She thought of something again. She knew Gaara is ahead from his classmates now. That made her so proud.
"Veni, vedi, veci…"
"I came, I saw, I conquered," he mumbled.
"Athena is…"
"The goddess of wisdom."
"What do you know of free-fall motion?"
"When 2 objects are dropped, regardless the mass, they will fall and touch the ground at the same time. That is, if it's not restricted with air resistance."
"Good, Gaara," she smiled, "What is a quadratic function?"
"Function with a squared term."
"Okay, at least your brain cells won't die anymore!"
"Whatever…"
…..
In the middle of the study, her cellphone suddenly rang. She picked it up before answering, "Hello?" Gaara noticed that she smiled. "Yes, I'm fine. How bout you?" He oddly felt bad. It was like his chest is tightening again. He felt the need to grab the phone and throw it away. This was the same whenever she talks with her male friends. He hated it whenever she gives attention to people other than him.
He stood up and walked out. Mari hung on the phone and went after him. "Gaara-kun, where are you going?" He stopped and looked at her, "Are you done?"
"I'm sorry. Please, let's get inside now."
.
.
"Gaara Open up!" she shouted while banging the door. "Gaara, what's wrong? Come on, let's talk!" But he wouldn't listen. Mari didn't know what happened. He just ran away when he saw her talking with a friend. "Gaara-kun, I'm here to listen. Please," she said softly. Then the door clicked open and revealed Gaara in his poor state. His eyeliner that used to cover his dark eye rings was drenched in tears and was smeared down his cheeks. Her heart was like thumping wildly as if she felt like sympathizing with him. "Gaara-kun, what's wrong?" she went in and hugged him. She felt his arms all around her. He was crying. "Sshhh… Tell me, what's wrong?" she whispered as they sat on the desk.
"Mari, I… felt so hurt," he choked out. "Huh? Why?" He looked at her, "When you were talking and laughing with that guy. I don't like it. It feels so painful." Her eyes widened, Gaara couldn't be… "I don't like it when you talk to anyone else. Mari, I'm jealous!" he confessed. "Gaara…" she didn't know how to react. "Mari, I-I love you so much," he admitted.
"Gaara…" "Please don't leave me Mari! Don't go away," he cried. "I promise, I won't," she said but actually, she didn't know what to do.
.
The next days were very awkward to her. Gaara is getting too close to her. Sometimes, he is so possessive that she finds it very hard to breathe. "Gaara, can you let go for a while?" she asked. He didn't respond. He just kept his arms with hers. Other students were whispering to themselves.
"Is she the principal's granddaughter? What is she doing with that kid?"
"I don't know, I think they're lovers now."
"Poor girl, maybe she got blackmailed by him!"
"Tsk… I pity her."
.
Gaara didn't even pay attention to them. He was too happy with her. "You can talk you want, she's still mine," he thought. Mari looked down. They were not anything, they were just friends. Gaara is too fragile. He might react badly if she tells him that she don't love him like that. She will need time to tell him.
"Mari, let's go now," he said as he pulled her hand and she let him lead her out of the campus.
…
She could feel him so close to her. His arm is sneaking around her shoulders as he rested his head on her shoulder. It would have been nice if they both feel the same way but, they don't. "Uhm Gaara, you want some popcorn?" she suddenly asked so she can move away. "No," he muttered and just continued to watch the movie. She almost sighed in relief that he's not too close anymore when suddenly, he asked something. "Can I hug you, please?" She knew she can't say no to him when he says 'please'. So she let him hug her all throughout the movie.
.
Days went on and every day was hell for her. More and more, Gaara is feeling that she actually likes his affection. And the more she thinks of it, it just pained her more. She never wanted to hurt him. She always feels that she's always responsible for him and Gaara needs her to be there for him. She was stuck in her situation.
.
Mari patiently writes an essay for him to practice on while in his room. Gaara watched her work and an evident smile crept on his face. He was happy. For the longest time, he was so happy. She turned to him to give the paper only to see him smile. Her heart stopped beating for awhile. Gaara was smiling. He never smiled so real before. "Gaara…" she whispered. He slowly leaned to her. They were almost centimeters apart. She knows if she'll stop him, his smile would disappear. Slowly, he pressed his lips against hers. She almost cried. They're not supposed to be doing this. She immediately pulled away. "I-I'm so sorry," she muttered and got off from his bed and left his room. Gaara started to chase after her downstairs."Mari, wait!" But she didn't stop. She went directly out of their mansion and called a cab.
She cried and cried when she got to her room. She didn't even go out for dinner.
.
.
The next day, her cell was bombarded with missed calls and text messages from him. But she never answered his calls nor reads his messages. She decided not go to school. She figured out that Tsunade has gone to her office so she moved out of her room. Freeing herself from all anxiety, she made herself some chocolate and oatmeal. She sat on the dining table after making sure the maids won't bother her anymore. After her breakfast, she took a nice shower and went back to her room to sleep again.
Knock, knock…
"Hai!" she opened her door. "Maam, someone wants to talk to you. S-She says she-she's your classmate," the maid said while stuttering. She raised a brow when she got the phone. "Are you alright?" she asked completely worried about the woman's state. "If you're sick, you can rest or you can go home. It's okay," she said kindly. "O-Okay, maam," and she left.
"Hello?"
"Mari…"
"Gaara..? Please I don't-"
"I'm sorry, Mari."
"I don't want to talk to you now."
"I love you Mari onee-chan"
And she heard him cry over the line.
"Gaara-"
"I know you don't love me. I'm really sorry for even bothering you."
"Gaara-kun…-"
"Goodbye"
And he hung up.
She didn't know why but she felt something's going to happen. He was crying and when he said goodbye, it sounds like he really meant it. She grabbed her cp and went to their house.
.
When she got there, his sister was panicking. "What happened?" she asked to Temari. "I don't know. He was holding a razor blade with him and some of parts of his arms are bleeding. He went to his room and threatened us not to go in or else he'll kill his self immediately," she cried. Mari went to his room and knocked. "Gaara, Gaara! Open this door!"
Inside, Gaara woke up. He must've been dreaming of her again. "Gaara! Let's talk!" he heard her while she banged on the door. "Mari…" his eyes widened. He was scared. He thought he was going crazy. He knew it was a bad idea of saying bye to her. He knew he can't live without her.
Mari asked for the key to his room and opened it. Her eyes widened. The room was a mess and the lights were turned off. Her eyes scanned the room and saw a bush of red hair beside the bed. He was lying on the floor. "Gaara!" she ran over to him and saw that he's bleeding. "Oh my God Gaara! What have you done to yourself?" she cried. Gently, she pulled him up to his bed.
"Mari… I'm hallucinating again…" he chuckled, "…I knew I should have taken the whole bottle." Tears escaped her eyes. "Gaara-kun, I'm sorry!" and she hugged him close to her. "All I wanted is for you to love me back. Is that so hard to give?" he whispered. "I don't want to be alone anymore. I want you by my side."
She sniffed her tears back, "I promise, I won't leave you again. Please forgive me!"
"Don't worry about me. I don't want to fool myself anymore. I know you don't love me."
"Gaara, don't say that. I love you so much. Please give time and I'll love you the way you do to me."
He stared at her, "I-Is that true?" She smiled sadly, "Yes. Gaara, just give me time." He smiled even through his pained state. His bloody hands gently caressed her face and pulled her closer. "Mari, aishteru…" She closed her eyes and closed the gap between them. Slowly, he pushed her down the bed and deepened the kiss.
.
.
"I'm okay now," he mumbled as he looked down at his bandaged arms. "Do not cut like that again!" she scolded. She thanked the doctor and they both went out of the clinic. "Mari…" he murmured. "Yes?" Gaara smiled, "Thank you." He walked ahead of her, leaving her speechless. "Oi, wait up!" she ran to catch up to him.
.
The redhead noticed that his lover seemed to be deep in thought. She was looking from a distance. A sudden turmoil built inside him. Then he was filled with worry, worry that Mari would leave him. To him, she was thinking of ways to tell him she was breaking up. His paranoia led him to cut her off everytime she talks.
"Gaara I-" "Mari, I think we should go home now," he suddenly said. She raised a brow, What the heck? "O-Okay," she mumbled.
.
"I'm sorry… I can't really go. You know him, he won't even let me talk!" she said on the phone. "Okay… Thank you. Bye." Mari sighed and put the down the receiver. Without her knowing, he was listening. He soon left.
He got angry, not at her but to the person she's talking to awhile ago. He could be taking Mari away from him. He wouldn't let that happen. He needed immediate action. He smirked to his self. "You're mine Mari."
.
.
Mari stepped in the office. She was about to greet her grandma when she saw a familiar face. It was Gaara's dad. "G-Good…afternoon," she murmured. "Mari, take a seat," Tsunade ordered. When they were all settled, Tsunade spoke first. "Mr. Subaku, this is my granddaughter, Mari. Mari, this is Gaara's dad." After sigh, she continued. "We have talked about you and Gaara. And his father has a request. Mr. Subaku, you can have the floor." He nodded, "Mari…"
.
.
Mari went out of the door. Tears were falling from her eyes. Did she hear it right? She was asked not to leave Gaara. She was to love Gaara faithfully. She should not look at any other man other than him. She should be with him if he needed. And now, they're officially an item. These conditions were clearly made by Gaara. He may have blackmailed his father so that he can have his own way. Considering his emotional and mental fragility, her father was left with no choice. "Didn't I told him to wait?" she asked herself. Her grandmother couldn't care less. She too, wanted that to happen. Being close to the wealthy Subaku family would enrich their businesses. She would be very glad to marry her off to anyone at this matter.
And that's the start of her living hell.
.
.
"Gaara…please…" She tried to turn away but he was firm with his hold on her. He caught her again and this time, he was harsh. He kissed her lips passionately. "I love you Mari, why won't you give me a chance?" his voice was so pitiful. She sighed and just kissed back.
.
.
Days went on and he was becoming too possessive. Males would get scared to approach her. It was because Gaara had once beaten someone who tried to harass her. They think that when they come closer, they will experience the same too. Even friendly gestures from her male friends were prohibited.
"Gaara, they are my friends. You should be considerate enough-" "They'll take you away. Fine and I'll cut my wrist again." She sighed, "Okay Gaara. Have your way."
.
But that didn't stop there!
She got so fond of her only remaining friends. He began to feel jealous once again. One day, her friend called her and reported unknown malicious calls saying that if she'll try to go near Mari again, she would be sorry. Of course, the victim didn't know it was Gaara. But Mari knew better. She apologized, much to her friend's surprise, and hung up.
.
.
.
Back to the present…
.
"Gaara, please... Just let me go," she said out of desperation. He looked at her with those cold teal eyes of his and said a firm "No." He reached out for her hand and held it firmly. "I'll never let you go, never," he said softly as not to let others hear their conversation. There were no other people aside from them in the area. Mari stared at him in fear and anger. She withdrew her hand and stood up from her seat. "Good bye Gaara" and she went out.
.
.
Evening came. Her own private house was quiet. She found it quite nice to have a peaceful sanctuary of her own. Guess having Gaara has its own benefits. Her hair sprawled on the sheets of her bed while her body was slumped in the cushion. She can't sleep. All that happened… it was like a dream. How could she just leave Gaara like that? Of course he would be on a suicidal spree again. She felt the loud thumping of her heart. Maybe she was wrong? She rubbed her temples and sighed. Too much problem. She began to roll on her side and tried to sleep but like before, she couldn't. She was too worked-up thinking of him.
She missed him.
If not for his bothersome behavior, then she and he could have been okay. But he was too hard on her. In the back of her head, she really wanted to give him a second chance. He was a nice boy when she met him. She's sure she can find that boy in him again.
Suddenly, her door opened. When she looked, she saw Gaara. Instantly, her eyes widened. "G-Gaara... What are you doing here?" How he got inside the locked windows and doors, she didn't know. The look on his face was cold. His eyes were cold. He just stood there staring at her. The only thing illuminating the room is the light post outside.
She stood from bed and approached him. "Gaara..." she called out softly. He looked at her with deep longing in his eyes. She felt a stinging pain in her chest. Why does he have to be so vulnerable? When he's like that, she just can't stop herself from being soft. He got her and she knew it. It will be easy for him to pull the strings and control her. With just those heartbreaking yet adorable looks. She found herself slowly reaching her hand to his face and gently stroking it. His eyes glistened with tears that threatened to fall. "Shhh...Don't cry," she whispered. "Mari… you tried to leave me," he softly said.
She looked away and a single tear rolled down her cheek. "Gaara-kun…" He cupped her cheek and wiped off her tear. "Did I upset you that much?" he asked sadly. "Gaara…"he leaned down closer to her and stopped just a few centimeters from her face. "Can I?"he asked softly. "Yes…" she whispered. She closed her eyes and let herself close the space between them. His lips were gentler this time making her the dominant one. He pulled away but she continued to kiss him while she held him in place. This made him continue.
"Gaara…I want to give you another chance," she said as they pulled away. "Please, let's be together once more," and she kissed him again. This time, she was passionate leaving him no room for his dominance. His hands snaked around her waist as he pulled her closer. He pulled away only to kiss her back. "I love you so much Mari," he murmured against her lips. "Gaara-kun…" and they fell on the bed, hungrily kissing each other.
Tearing her night gown apart, he started kissing her neck and leaving some love bites. She moaned and caressed his back, urging him to continue. "Gaara…Ahhh!" she gasped when he licked her breasts. "Gaara…please…more…" And then they did it.
For a moment, Mari felt so happy. For a moment, she felt that Gaara had given her needs. He made her happy. Every thrust, every kiss and every touch completed her. Her moans and screams filled his ears with music. He quickened his pace and he was soon on the edge of his release. Soon, they ended.
"I love you…" he whispered. She cuddled beside him as he tightened his arms around her. She rolled over him and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Now you don't have a reason to be jealous," she softly said. "I have given you myself. You now own me. No one can ever take me away from you. And Gaara," she paused, "I love you. Remember that." He smiled and hugged her close. Her chest pressed flatly against his. "I'm sorry. We had to result into this. I shouldn't have doubted you from the first place," he murmured. She smiled rolled off him. "Stay with me tonight," she whispered. "If you want, we'll stay like this forever," he said. A soft giggle slipped out of her lips. "Oh Gaara-kun, I love you!" and she hugged him tightly.
.
.