This Is How We Start Again
You sit together, side by side on the street curb, chins on elbows and elbows on knees. You burned Dyad to the ground (quite literally – this curb is six blocks from the building due to the mandatory evacuation). Together, you routed out the minds behind the cloning and the minds behind those minds. It is, after so very long, over.
Life is a choose-your-own adventure story. There are moments, choices, spoken words that can change everything. You can live one life or you can live another.
There is panic still, adrenaline riding the waves of your sky-high blood pressure. But you will the tremors of your bones to subside, will yourself to smile.
You nudge Cosima with your shoulder. "That was quite a day."
"And to think, we considered playing hooky to go to the movies today!" she jokes. Your eyes meet and you see the twin panic in her, and you see her choose to let it out in a sudden rush of laughter. You chuckle at first, enjoying her laugh, and then start laughing in earnest as giggles and hiccups overtake her. This is what you love about her, the ability to see the light. You reach over and try to rub the soot from her forehead, smudging it badly.
Her face stills, and she closes her eyes as your hand brushes over them. When they open again, the laughter has gone.
"I don't think I could have done this without you, Delphine," she says, looking hard into you, willing you to understand. You do, completely, but she cuts you off before you can speak. "Not just the science chunk of it. That was great, but working next to you every day, sleeping next to you every night, that was the best part. That kept me going."
She's finished, and you're nodding, foregoing words and explanation in favor of the slip of your hand into hers.
There's panic still, you feel the adrenaline pulsing through you. You will the tremors in your hands to subside but they refuse to die.
"That was quite a day," you say, as the breath you've been holding since you woke up this morning, since she told you her plan two weeks ago, rushes out of you.
"I can't believe it's over," Cosima murmurs, burying her face in her arms. You stretch your arm above her head, letting it come to rest along her shoulders. You give her a quick squeeze.
After a long moment of silence, she lifts her head and looks at you. You see her searching you for something, and you find yourself searching her as well. What is it? Hope? Light? Whatever it is, you don't find it, and neither does she.
"Delphine, I don't know how we're going to forget this. How are we going to move on?"
You shake your head, words abandoning you, because you don't know. It's the very thought that has been tearing through you.
She takes a deep breath, stealing herself, "I couldn't have done this without you. I wouldn't have stood a chance. But," she trails off and looks at you.
You see the words there on her face, and you say them, because they are a truth you've also been hiding. "But we were born out of this chaos. From our first kiss, this was woven into us." You gesture helplessly at the black sky behind you, and she nods.
"Delphine, I don't think we can separate ourselves from this. We have to find away to move on, to leave this all behind, and…"
You finish for her. "And we might have to leave this, us, behind as well." And you both understand.
"Oy!" You hear Felix calling from a block away. He and Sarah are filthy and thrilled, skipping down the sidewalk like children. Helena and Allison follow, equally filthy and grinning, arm in arm. Cal brings up the rear, hands in pockets, quiet as usual but clearly enjoying the spirit.
Felix charges ahead of the group, and pounces on Cosima, tugging her braids and peppering her face with kisses. In the midst of his attack, he pecks you on the cheek as well, and you laugh, grateful for his buoyancy.
"Well, my lady lovers," he says, dragging you both to your feet, "we are going to celebrate with ice cream. Cal's buying." He winks at Cal, who blushes slightly but nods his ascent, his hand now safely twined with Sarah's.
They carry on ahead, the whole family whooping and laughing. Cosima pulls you after them, but you plant your feet and pull her back to steal a kiss. She laughs and tugs, and you both run, neither looking back. It's time to leave this all behind. It's time to start again.
You sit there on the curb, side by side, until you hear her family approaching, shouting and cheering with the day's success.
Together you rise and embrace. She holds you in her arms for a long moment, and you hold tight as well. She promises she'll see you soon, and you promise to call, but you know you've reached the end. You won't see her again. Then you part, she turns left, you turn right, and you both fade into the crowds. You hear Felix calling her name, then yours, but you keep walking. It's time to leave this all behind. It's time to start again.