Moments after he leaves, Chi-chi still stands motionless in the same place, thinking the same line over and over.
Don't I matter to you? Don't I matter to you?
She forces everything around her to fade away, barely noticing all her friends who came to console her. Her legs felt wobbly and her hair clings to the tears on her face. Between there and the last place she watched her husband leave with the immortal dragon, she simply couldn't process everything that was happening. Again. More tears wells in the mother's eyes. She clenches her fists harder.
Finally, she makes movement. Her head drops toward the ground along with her knees and she squeezes her eyes shut. Her hands flutters up to her face and she clutches her ears. She hardly notices her two sons doing their best to hold her body up.
Out of habit her mind stretches back when she was pregnant with Goten. After the Cell Games. The world for her changed during the first year of her baby boy's life. And her already grown son. More tears streams out as she thinks of Gohan. The hard life she never asked for him to have. Never wanted him to have.
"We're fine, boys. You're father won't be gone forever. Never doubt the Dragon Balls." She'd once repeated over and over to her babies. It was a mom thing to say. She'd probably said it a thousand times. She was searching for the ordinary in her not-so-normal, extraordinary life.
"Goten..." She whispers to herself without meaning to. Her poor baby Goten. She couldn't decide which one of her sons suffered more. She didn't want to decide. Was it her fault for forcing them to grow up without a father? For years she told herself it was for the good of everyone that her beloved left. To fight and save the Earth. But was it really? Should Goku be the one to blame for everything that has happened?
A moment later her mind returns to reality and she remembers where she is and what is happening soon after the flood of memories drown out her mind.
Chi-chi, inside her mind, was scared. Scared of the future. Scared of the restless nights worrying about her family. As hard as she tried the last time Goku left, she could never fall asleep every moment away from her Saiyan.
She doesn't hear her children's begs for her to calm down as her knees shake. Her mind spins as she fought to forget the past. The future. "You will find all your answers in the present, Mom." Gohan had once told her. " What I'm tying to say is you will survive as long as you cherish what you have now. Even if... even if Dad's not with us."
Oh, what a perfect boy Gohan was. Understanding her when she needs him. But not this time.
As Goten cuddles her on his chest, as Gohan fights the urge to shed the tears for his mother, as her beloved Pan kissed away her own tears, and as Bulma ran into the Kami Look Out to fetch tissues, Chi-chi knew she could never forgive Goku, never let herself get so sucked up in him, miss him, when he never seemed to cry out for her. Even as her crying escalted into full out wailing, she knows she needs to be strong, even for her boys, who were adult now.
The Son mom almost truly convinces herself she will somehow wake up from her nightmare. But that wouldn't be the case this time. Goku would never change. For years Chi-chi did all that she could to focus on her boys, to somehow outwit herself. She was proud she didn't fail Goten and Gohan as Goku had. They kept her alive.
Gohan, now crouching down in his business suit next to his Mom, nearly bawled out himself. Not only for the pity he gives his mother, but he as well resents is father for leaving. As he holds his daughter in his free hand and hugs his mother with the other, the half Saiyan tilts his head backwards, toward the sky. He almost feels like flying up into the void himself to pull back their father into their lives. Not going to happen anymore. As a fatherless child, he felt like an outcast, alone, and out of place. At times he would lay in his bed, quietly, sprawl out and cry to himself without anyone hearing. At times when he couldn't block out the pain or the loneliness, all he had to do was close his eyes and fly away into the mountains by their home. Gohan came to believe, just as his younger brother, he ad to forget and forgive. "Please don't cry." He whispers.
No matter how much trouble Goten got into with Trunks, no matter how badly Trunks beat him at sparring, he never felt any worse than he did now. Just weeks before he was born, Goku has disappeared. Or that was at least what everyone told him. The younger brother rubs his Mommy's hair down, trying his best to keep his strength from shriveling up. Trunks comes up and places a hand on his best friend's shoulder, giving a thoughtful expression. Even though for years, he truly never understood why Goku did things like this to his mom. He remembers watching in dismay while his mommy sadly sipped her evening drink, waiting, watching for her prince charming to return home. "Oh, Mom! I love you, I love you, I love you..." he voice trails off when he forces his head toward her lap, and begins to chew on his thumb like a child.
Trunks tightens his tan fist over the handful of tissues in his hand. How could Goku do this to a great woman like her? He couldn't imagine how such a hero like him could be such a horrible husband and even father. He steals a glance at his father, Vegeta, and silently thanks Kami for giving him a father like him, even with the cold heart he has sometimes. No wonder Goten had always clung to him always when they were kids.
A waterfall of tears runs down Goten's face and Trunks hands out the tissues to the Son family, Trunks was used to them being strong. Seeing them all like this made him almost question why the universe was so cruel. He couldn't watch anymore.
"Goten, Gohan, go inside, take Pan. I'd hate for her to see everyone like this..." Trunks softly says to everyone. The brothers simultaneously wipe their noses and tears away. Gohan takes a deep breath and gazes up to Trunks. They lock hands and Trunks pulls him to his feet. "Sorry, Trunks. You're right." Gohan looks thoughtfully at his second little brother with the purple hair. "Mom, I'll take you home when you're ready." He motions his brother and daughter to come with him as he strides away.
Trunks looks at Chi-chi and hands her the last tissue. "Be strong, Mrs. Son. You'll always have your family. And me."
Hi and thank you for reading the first chapter of this great story. However, this story is a bit different. Although I am going to be writing all the chapters originally, the real idea and plot, a very well written plot, is by XOXOserenityXOXO. Please, I urge you to review. Thanks for reading!